Part 201
Well after dark they pulled out of the last rest stop for the night, each one back on their own buses for the long ride to the Houston venue. Nick busied himself stashing snacks and stuff in the storage compartments while Becca went to change into her nightgown. It was awfully quiet, so after almost ten minutes he went to look for her. He was about to call out to her when he saw her simply standing before the mirror in the sleeping area. He watched as she turned this way and that, smoothing her gown over her belly, which had grown quite a bit in the last couple of weeks.
He watched as she stood up as straight as possible, trying her best to hold in her tummy, and becoming more frustrated by the minute. She looked at her profile and frowned, then tried to peer at her ankles and failed miserably. Simply looking at her hands told her all she needed to know. Her fingers looked fat and stubby, and her rings looked four sizes too small, so she was certain that her ankles had disappeared as well. She was being good, following the rules and taking her meds, getting plenty of rest, then why the hell was she looking like a distant relative of Shamu?
Becca picked up her hairbrush and began to brush her dull, lifeless hair as a tear slipped down her face. God, she couldn't take much more of this. 'Just look at me,' she thought, 'I'm grotesque.' She sighed, pulling the brush absentmindedly through her hair. 'I'm fat, and I'm losing my hair, and every night there are hundreds of women out there who look better than I do and…'
"Hey, you almost ready for bed?" Nick intervened, seeing where her thoughts were headed.
"I guess so," she shrugged her shoulders, answering in a small defeated voice.
Nick pulled off his t-shirt, tossing it toward the hamper in the corner. "Not much longer, huh Bec?" She didn't answer him, so he tried once more. "I mean, just look at you-"
That was, without a doubt, the worst thing he could have said.
"How can you stand me like this?" she said, tears rolling down her face. "Nick, I'm huge. I can barely make it down the aisle of the bus, and forget getting up out of a chair. My face is puffy, my feet are puffy, my hair is falling out-"
"Bec, you're beautiful," he whispered. "And I'd love you even if you didn't have ANY hair."
"Good, because by next week it'll all be gone," she sobbed.
Nick sighed. Where was Sarah when he needed her?
"Bec, you're just tired."
"Damn right. I'm tired of being pregnant, I'm tired of having to pee every twenty minutes, I'm tired of seeing all the beautiful women that throw themselves at you every night-"
"Whoa! Hold it right there, I don't-"
"Well, why not?" she cried. "How can you stand to see me like this, Nick? When we met I was thin, and attractive and-"
"And now you're pregnant and beautiful, Bec. I love you more each day, sweetheart."
"Why?"
"What?"
"Never mind, if you have to ask then it's not worth even talking about." Becca reached out and turned off the light, settling onto the bunk and turning her back.
Nick slipped in beside her, but she refused to turn around even for their nightly snuggle. He was at a loss to figure out what to do with her and he lay awake for another hour trying to figure it out. Finally he gave up as Becca snored softly beside him, getting up and searching out the Twinkies he'd hidden earlier. By the soft reading light in the dining area, he poured himself a glass of milk and tore open the cellophane wrapper. He debated calling Sarah, but looking at the clock he realized how late it was and didn't need Howie ripping him a new asshole in the morning. Stretching his feet out on the seat across from him, he took a bite of his Twinkie, absentmindedly sticking his finger in the creamy filling and licking it off. There had to be something he could do to make her feel better, but it seemed like lately she was so touchy and nothing seemed to work.
A scrap of paper under the placemats caught his eye and her reached to pull it out. Must be something of Bec's. Licking his fingers once again, he wiped the last bit of filling on his boxers and began to read.
"Online Pregnancy Planner, August 2001"
Cool, a calendar that counted down the days and gave hints and tips for the expectant mother. Nick angled the reading light for a better look and chuckled at some of the bits of advice, until he reached August 11: Remember you ARE beautiful, womanly and motherly. You may feel bulky but you are full of life. Find out if sex is dangerous this late in pregnancy.
Nick chuckled. No problems in THAT area. And hadn't he just reminded her how beautiful she was? He read on.
August 22: Baby gains weight most rapidly during this month: about 1/2 - 3/4 lb. per week. Report symptoms of pre-eclampsia, excessive water retention, headaches, visual disturbance, or abdominal pain.
Wow, no wonder Bec was getting so big. Baby was in the middle of a growth spurt! And the swelling … looks like it was time to talk to Dr. Warren again. He frowned and read the last few entries for the month. What's this, a note for Dad? August 25: Dad: Accentuate the positive. Remind her she is beautiful and that you will both make good partners and parents.
He was lost now. He'd tried this and not succeeded. No way around it, he'd have to talk to Sarah in the morning. Either that or spend the next three weeks sleeping on the couch while his wife cried herself to sleep. Quietly he shut off the light and stumbled back to the bed. He crawled in beside Becca pressing up against her back and holding her close as the movement of the bus rocked him to sleep.