Part 285
AJ pushed the door open gently and the light spilled in from the hall. The foursome could see Sarah asleep in the bed and Howie sitting beside her watching, his shoulders shaking as he cried silently.
Kevin put his hand on Howie’s shoulder and asked softly, "How long has she been asleep?"
"Not long," answered Howie wiping his eyes as he looked up at Kevin. The tearstains were fresh on his cheeks.
"What about the contractions?" asked Brian.
"They’ve stopped. You guys should go on to Montreal. I’ll be okay."
"No…we’re not leaving," said Nick. "We’ll get through this together."
Howie shook his head, "Thanks, guys."
"Why don’t you join your wife?" suggested AJ. "You need to sleep too."
Howie was too tired to argue so he climbed into bed with Sarah. She moved in her sleep instinctively allowing room for him and he wrapped her in his embrace. He pulled her close, a hand resting on her stomach and he fell into a deep sleep.
The others settled into chairs and the extra bed in the room. They wanted to be there for Howie and Sarah if they needed them.
Peacefulness settled over the room, the only sounds were those of Howie snoring softly and the muffled sounds of the hospital. Kevin looked over the group as he kept a silent vigil, willing himself not to sleep until he knew Sarah would be okay. No matter how hard things were, they all pulled together. Even across the miles, Becca’s presence was evident in Nick’s smile.
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Howie woke around three to Sarah’s whimpers in her sleep. He kissed her tenderly and whispered, "I’m right here, Angel. You’re safe."
Sarah mumbled groggily, "Where are we?"
"The hospital in Ottawa."
Sarah opened her eyes to see Kevin asleep in the chair beside the bed. "Did you know Kevin was here?"
"Yeah, so are Brian, AJ, and Nick. Sarah, you have all of us worried. You could VERY easily have lost the twins."
Sarah rolled over so she could face Howie. She saw the fear in his eyes and her heart broke. "I’m sorry, D," she whispered tearfully.
"Sarah, we’ve come too far to lose this dream," said Howie as he put his hand on her stomach. "In a span of less than a week, I’ve had to deal with the reality of losing them twice. I can’t do it again…I can’t see you hurting like this either. I know you’re dealing with a lot of guilt having survived and Becca delivering early but God had a reason, Sarah. We need to get past this. Please…talk to me."
Sarah lowered her eyes as she said, "You’ve said it all, Howie. God! If I could have JUST gotten through, Becca wouldn’t have had to deliver early. I robbed her of that wonderful feeling of going into labor and all the natural childbirth stuff that she wanted to experience. And she wouldn’t still be in Toronto now."
The guys had woken too and were listening to Howie and Sarah. It was now that Nick spoke up, "Sarah, whether Bec delivered naturally or by c-section didn’t make a difference. Having Garrett here and healthy was the ultimate goal and it wouldn’t have been right without you here with us! Sure, Becca and I were scared to death that something was gonna happen to her or Garrett," said Nick as he moved to the bed. He took a seat at the foot of the bed placing his hand on Sarah’s leg as he continued. "But we were equally scared that we’d lost you too. Who were we gonna call on when something went wrong….or right for that matter? Sarah, I know I aggravate the hell out to you…"
"That’s an understatement," mumbled Kevin.
Cutting his eyes at Kevin, Nick said, "But I love you. You were the one who ultimately got us together and kept us together…even is Kevin DOES claim to be the one."
Kevin playfully shoved Nick causing Sarah to smile.
"You and Howie have stood by us through everything. We ALL know that you tried to let us know you were okay and it’s NOT your fault that you couldn’t."
"Talk about ME being a control freak," teased Kevin.
"You are," mumbled Sarah.
"Sarah, walking into this room tonight, with the lights out and Howie crying…it scared the hell out of me. It was so much like that first night Becca was in the hospital. I thought you were going to lose everything you and Howie have dreamed about. Please, you have to take care of yourself. As much as I wanted Garrett here, safe and healthy….that’s how much I want your twins here."
AJ cracked," WOW! Nick…serious and making sense. What a concept!"
Sarah wiped her tears and smiled at Nick as she said, "Nick grew up and you clowns missed it…but I didn’t."
Brian, AJ, and Kevin had taken seats on the bed with Sarah and Howie. Each wanted to help Sarah now that she was ready to talk.
"Angel, there is only one reason for you still being here with us. God wanted you here."
"But why?"
"That’s easy," said Brian. "There are a lot of reasons, five of them sitting here with you now, one back on Howie’s bus, two in Toronto, and two growing inside you. You have given so much to us, to Howie, your brother. You and Howie told us back in August that we didn’t know half of what Russell did to torture you but God does. You’ve suffered enough at Russell’s hands and it’s time to be happy. God has given you three beautiful miracles, Jesse and the twins."
"Four…Howie’s love," said Sarah softly as she looked into his eyes.
Howie hugged her close as Kevin said, "Besides, who am I suppose to
fight with?"
"You’ve got Nick," said Sarah weakly as she leaned against Howie.
"Nick’s no match for me," teased Kevin. Then getting serious, he said, "Baby, Nick and Brian are right. Your time to be happy is now and you’ve got so many people who love you…so many people that you bring joy to. We just want to see you happy again…to see that sparkle in your eyes."
Kevin caressed her cheek and she put her hand on his. Looking at Kevin, she said, "I do have a lot of love in my life."
AJ said, "I’m gonna take the selfish route here. I need you, Sarah. I need the water fights we have and the silly string fights. I’d be lost without you…no one in my corner."
Sarah understood what AJ was saying without him coming out and telling the guys that she was his sponsor.
"Thanks, guys. Having your love and support means so much to me," yawned Sarah.
"And you getting some sleep would mean a lot to us," said Kevin. "Sarah, we all love you very much and want what’s best for you."
Kevin leaned to give Sarah a kiss and then each of the others followed suit before she eased back into the pillows with Howie beside her. Howie pulled the covers over her and kissed her tenderly.
"Go to sleep, Angel," whispered Howie.
Yawning again, Sarah asked sleepily, "Sing to me, Howie…please."
"Sure, Angel," said Howie as he looked at the others.
Nick quietly got them on key and together, they sang ‘Drowning’ to Sarah to put her to sleep. As they each sang their part, they poured their hearts into it letting Sarah know just how much she meant to them.
Once Sarah was asleep, they each picked a chair and settled in for what remained of the night. One by one they all succumbed to exhaustion, all that is, except Nick.
He was exhausted as well, but every time he closed his eyes he was faced with a jumble of images; Becca, Garrett, New York City, Sarah-
Sarah. He couldn't get it out of his mind what had happened backstage in Toronto. Shit, he felt like some horny, out-of-control teenager. What the hell had happened? He wasn't so desperate for sex that he had to get hard any time some unsuspecting female got a little too close, so what the hell was going on? He knew he wasn't going to get any relief, no pun intended, until he talked to Becca about it. He just hoped she could forgive him.