Part 313
Just like every other morning, Jesse crawled into bed with Howie and began to give him butterfly kisses along his cheek. This was her special way of waking him rather than bouncing on the bed and she was generally rewarded with being able to snuggle with him for a little while no matter what was going on that day.
This morning was different. Feeling like he was being beaten in the face, Howie pushed her back and grumbled, "Go away, Jess!"
"But, Daddy!! It’s almost time for breakfast," whined Jesse.
She hadn’t screamed it or even raised her voice but the shrillness of her voice seemed to cut through him. "God…the damn whining has GOT to stop! Where’s your mother?"
"In the bathroom getting sick," and Jesse tuned up with huge crocodile tears that began to fall.
"Jess, stop," he groaned. "I’m sorry, Princess."
Howie tried to pull her to him to hug her but she pulled away and stormed out of the bedroom passing Sarah as she came out of the bathroom.
Seeing Jesse’s tears, Sarah realized that Howie had done something to upset her and when Jesse slammed the door behind her, she saw him cringe.
‘Good, he’s hung over. Serves him right,’ she thought and followed Jesse to make sure she was okay.
Howie had closed his eyes to stop his own tears and never saw Sarah. His head was splitting; he’d upset Jesse and the nightmare of the previous week pressed down on him threatening to crush him. There was also the previous night; he vaguely remembered the events at the bar but somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew Sarah was going to be upset and it was just one more thing added to everything else. How much more could he screw things up?
The ringing of the phone was like sirens going off in his head. Thinking Sarah was still in the bathroom getting sick, he grabbed the phone. "What?" he growled.
"Good morning to you too," cackled AJ. "Feeling bad, D?"
"Kiss my ass, ‘Bone’."
"That would take forever since you’ve been a complete ass this week."
"What do you want?"
"I called to check on Sarah. Where is she?"
Hearing the door close, Howie muttered, "Right here."
He held the phone out for Sarah and she took it. "Hello."
"Hey, ‘Tig’. How are you this morning?"
"Just lovely…just had to reassure my daughter that her daddy doesn’t REALLY hate her."
"Need a date for breakfast or is your husband gonna make it?"
Looking down to see that Howie had pulled the pillow over his head and said, "I need a date. I don’t think he’s going to make it. He looks like shit."
"He sounded like shit too. Have you two talked?"
"Not yet. I’ll see you in a few. I need to finish getting ready."
"Okay. Kevin and I will stop by on our way down."
"Thanks, Alex."
Howie heard Sarah hang up the phone and grabbed her hand pulling her back to
him. "Angel, aren’t you going to wait for me?"
"No. Breakfast is in twenty minutes and Jesse is hungry. I suggest that if you want something to eat, you get your ass in gear and get ready," answered Sarah coolly as she pulled out of his grasp.
She wasn’t exactly mad at him. No, actually, she hurt for him but after last night with the women and the alcohol, she was irritated with him. Making him sweat and seeing him hung-over would be his punishment for scaring her last night and for upsetting Jesse.
Howie watched his wife walk away from him and he lay back groaning. ‘Shit! Another mess to clean up.’
Getting up slowly, Howie stumbled after Sarah who’d gone into the bathroom. As she put her hair into a ponytail, Howie wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a tender kiss on her neck.
"Angel, I know I hurt you and you have every reason to be furious with me but I’m REALLY sorry."
Trying NOT to look at him, she said, "You can hurt me all you want to but DO NOT EVER speak to my daughter like that!"
That nearly killed Howie. Sarah never called Jesse ‘her daughter’. It was always ‘their daughter’. He felt the tears again and wanted to curl up and hide.
Sarah felt his tears on her shoulder and looked into the mirror. She could see the pain he was feeling and the need for her to accept his apology. There was no need to make him suffer any more than he already was. She turned around to face him and put her hands on his chest.
In a more gentle tone, "Howie, I’m not gonna lie to you. It really hurt seeing all those women around you and the ones hanging on you. It hurt too that you turned to a bottle for comfort rather than me."
Howie listened to the hurt in her voice but he only listened knowing she had to say her peace.
"I know what happened with Nick and I know you. You couldn’t face me; you felt like you’d disappointed me by not fixing this mess and you were hurt but I’d NEVER turn my back on you. I want to be there for you."
"I know," he whispered. "I should have come back here."
"We can talk about it later, D. You need to get ready."
"Are you okay? I mean…you aren’t mad or anything?"
Sarah smiled at the question and the expression on his face. He looked like a
little boy who’d just broken that fishing rod his dad had told him NOT to
touch. Brushing a stray curl back, Sarah said, "No, I just wish I could
make things better for you…like you always do for me."
"You can’t change the fact that I was an ass to Nick. You tried and I didn’t listen. I just wanted…."
"Not now, baby. We’ll talk after breakfast and we have PLENTY to talk about."
"I’m gonna get a shower and I’ll meet you at breakfast."
"You might want to take something for that nasty hangover you’ve got," teased Sarah.
"I will…later," he answered with a kiss. "I don’t know what I did to deserve you but I’m grateful that I have you."
Jesse came bouncing into the bathroom, "Uncle Kevin and Uncle AJ are here!"
"Go tell them I’m coming, baby."
"Princess," said Howie stopping her. Kneeling down to look her in the eye, he cupped her face in his hand. "I’m really sorry for fussing at you earlier. I never meant to upset you."
Smiling, Jesse said, "It’s okay, Daddy. Mommy said you didn’t feel good."
"Jess…isn’t there more you need to say to your daddy?"
Looking down ashamed, she whispered, "I apologize for waking you. Mommy told me to leave you alone but I didn’t listen. I just wanted you to help Mommy and I wanted to snuggle with you too."
"I know, Princess. You were being very helpful coming to get me for your Mommy and I promise, EXTRA cuddle time VERY soon."
From the living room, Kevin bellowed, "COME ON, SARAH! We’re gonna be late."
"I’m on my way…just keep your pants on!"
Jesse giggled and gave Howie a kiss before heading out to where Kevin and AJ waited.
Howie stood and gave Sarah a kiss. "I love you, Angel."
"Try not to be too late, D…please."
Howie watched Sarah leave before stepping into the shower. As the water fell across him, he closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. He was extremely grateful and relieved that Sarah wasn’t completely ticked off at him. He knew that he still had some explaining to do but at least his marriage wasn’t in shambles like the rest of his life.