Part319

After talking to Kevin, Sarah had told Howie everything and they both decided that leaving Jesse with Lisa wasn’t a good idea. The tension was thick enough, no sense adding to it. Together as a family, they headed to Lincoln Park Zoo to spend the rest of the time before sound check. It was the first time they’d been able to do this in a while and it was relaxing. They ate lunch in the ‘Big Cat Café’ which was a rooftop restaurant overlooking the Kovler Lion House outdoor lion and tiger habitats. It was Jesse’s idea and Sarah was all for it. Howie, wanting to make his girls happy, didn’t argue. Afterwards, they went to the gift shop to buy a stuffed animal. Howie caved in, laughing the whole time, when Sarah begged him for a stuffed white tiger.

When they got back to the venue for sound check, Jesse took off to find Brian wanting to show him what she’d gotten at the zoo. Sarah chased after her missing Becca ducking into Nick’s dressing room to avoid her but Howie saw her and winced. It bothered him that Becca was avoiding Sarah. Most of this…no, all of this mess was his fault and he wanted to make things right for them both.

Seeing Nick headed out to the stage, Howie said, "Angel, I need to do something. I’ll be there in a few minutes."

"Okay," answered Sarah with a kiss.

Howie watched Sarah walk away before knocking softly on the door. Hearing Becca’s soft response, he pushed the door open gently and was greeted by Becca’s smile and Garrett’s soft cooing.

Smiling gently, Howie asked, "Mind if I come in?"

"No, not at all," answered Becca.

Howie let the door close behind him and he took a seat across from Becca. Reaching over to Garrett, he took the infant’s tiny hand in his letting him grip his finger. Without looking up, Howie asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Better now that I’ve had some sleep. What about you? You looked like you were in a pretty foul mood at breakfast…. still."

Howie chuckled, "I was hungover. Bec, can we talk?"

"Sure. About?"

"What’s going on with you and Sarah. I know you’re upset with her about several things and you need to know, it wasn’t Sarah’s fault. The fan fic she wrote and hanging with Lisa were my ideas, not hers."

"Your ideas?"

"Yeah. Look, the other day, she’d finished ‘Dark Riders’…. completely different from what you actually read. She read it to me and I was so aggravated with Nick that I asked her to change it…to kill Nick in it."

Becca was shocked. "You wanted to kill Nick? Howie, was it THAT bad? I mean, I know Nick can be obnoxious but you’ve always been more patient with him than anyone else."

Howie hung his head and said softly, "Bec, a lot has happened in the last two weeks and when we left Toronto, I had hoped to spend time with Sarah and Jesse but…"

"But Nick was there. Howie, you and Sarah offered to let him ride with you."

"I know and believe me, Sarah kept trying to remind me. They were fine together. Sarah was very sympathetic and talked to him. It was all me. I sorta expected it to be a couple days and then Nick would go back to his own bus. Then all that mess in Ottawa and Nick was still there."

"Is that where Sarah was in the hospital?"

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

"Sarah should be the one to tell you that."

"I’m asking you. Sarah’s obviously not gonna tell me."

Howie reprimanded Becca gently, "You REALLY haven’t given her the chance, have you?"

Becca tucked her head in shame. "I guess not. So, what was the final straw…with Nick?"

"Detroit. I jumped all over him for putting his arms around Sarah and he announced to everyone backstage that AJ had raped Sarah and what had happened with AJ and Kevin at Tabu."

"Oh wow! No wonder you lost it with him. I’m so sorry, Howie."

"It’s not your fault, Becca," said Howie as Garrett began to whimper. Howie picked him up out of his seat. "Hey, little guy! What’s up? You getting tired of being in that seat?"

Becca watched as Howie cradled him to his chest. What was it about little babies that reduced men to old softies? Howie sat in front of her holding Garrett in his arms, cooing to him and singing softly to quiet him.

Becca smiled "You’re really excited about the twins, aren’t you?"

"Extremely, Bec," beamed Howie, his face lit with excitement. "In the last two weeks, I’ve had to deal with almost losing Sarah and the twins…the twins twice. I just want to get on with our lives and get them here healthy and safe."

"I know," said Becca softly as Garrett began to fuss more. "Here, let me take him. It’s time for him to eat."

"Where are the diapers first?"

"Right here," said Becca handing the diaper bag to Howie. "I can do that, you know?"

"I know but I want to do it," he said as he moved to change Garrett’s diaper. As he did, he said, "Becca, its amazing…watching Sarah’s body change every day with the twins; feeling them move inside her. I can’t describe it."

Becca sat watching as Howie expertly changed Garrett, the whole time his face glowing with happiness but she didn’t say anything.

"I mean, I’ve seen pictures of her pregnant with Jesse, but this is different. These are MY children, Bec, and every day, I love her more and more. She’s been through so much for me…because of me."

As Howie handed Garrett to Becca, she said, "Sarah loves you so much. I’ve NEVER seen her this happy."

Howie discreetly diverted his eyes as Becca positioned Garrett to nurse as he said, "She’s never really complained about the morning sickness either."

"She’s not going to. Howie, tell me about Lisa. You said it was your idea."

"Yeah, it was. Bec, Sarah was so lost without you here. At night, when she would sleep, she’d call for you…have conversations with you. I suggested she get Lisa to go with her shopping or something…just to get her mind off missing you and everything that had happened. They’ve been friends ever since Sarah and I started dating so I figured this would be a good time to do something together."

"Howie, Sarah thought Lisa was interested in you."

"I know," laughed Howie. "We talked about it. Becca, Sarah can’t help trying to protect you. It just comes natural. She holds in what’s bothering her or what she thinks might upset the ones she loves. She told me she emailed you and told you about the nightmares."

"Yeah, she did and then she shut down…she wouldn’t tell me any more."

"That’s because she felt guilty for dumping on you. She already felt guilty for you delivering early."

"That’s ridiculous," said Becca but then realized what she was saying. "No…THAT’S Sarah."

Howie smiled, "She’s learning but after what Russell did to her, it’s hard."

"How do you get her to open up?"

"I don’t know…it just happens. From the very first time we went out, she’s just opened up to me. Sometimes it takes a while for her to tell me everything but it eventually comes out. Like with the drugs and her whole marriage to Russell. I don’t think I knew everything until we were in Hawaii. That’s when she told me about how he would tie her to the bed and force himself on her and I don’t think she’d have told me if I hadn’t scared her by doing something sorta similar. Becca, she loves you like a sister and it’s killing her right now that you’re upset with her."

"I’ll talk to her tonight after her set."

"She’s not singing tonight, Bec…" and Howie went on to tell Becca his side of what had happened with Nick over the past week.

When he was done, Becca said, "Howie, Nick does love you. Just give him time."

"I’m going to. Thanks for listening. I never meant to ruin your reunion or make you mad at Nick. He’s really good with Jesse and I’m sure he’s going to be a wonderful father to Garrett."

"He’s got a pretty good role model in you," said Becca. "I’m glad you felt like you could talk to me. I’ll admit…you really threw me when you blew up on the bus yesterday. That’s not like you."

Howie smiled, "Everyone is entitled to an off-day. In my case, a week."

Bursting through the door, Nick was grumbling, "Damn Howie! He’s…"

"In here with me," said Becca sternly cutting him off.

Nick blushed and Howie gracefully exited without saying anything to Nick. He headed out to do his sound check feeling better that he’d at least straightened things out between Sarah and Becca.

Part 320       The Dance Index(3)