Part 321

"Hey Nick," Sarah said as Nick nearly ran her down.

"Whoa! Sorry," he said, grabbing her shoulders to keep her from falling over.

"Where you off to in such a rush?" she smiled. Nick looked better than he had in a while, and she supposed it was all because Becca was back with them.

"Thought I'd check out the game room before I get dressed. Becca and GT were just-"

"Becca's here?"

"Yup, in my dressing room. Why?"

Sarah shrugged. "I hadn't seen her, so I just figured she was already out on the bus."

"Nah, I don't think she's looking forward to being cooped up like that again."

"I'm sure it's hard for her," Sarah agreed. "Traveling with a baby puts a whole different spin on things." They both stopped talking and the silence was becoming awkward.

"Nick-" "Sarah-"

They both stopped and sighed, and then Nick rested his hands on Sarah's shoulders. He could feel the tension and so he made the first move.

"She's inside, Sarah. Go talk to her, she needs you."

"I'm sorry, Nick," she whispered. "I never meant to hurt her."

"I know that, and I think she does too." He pulled her into a close hug. "Go on now, I'll see you after the show."

And then he was gone, leaving Sarah standing three feet away from fixing everything. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and stepped inside.

"Anybody home?" she called cheerfully. Becca was stretched out in the easy chair, Garret snoozing on her chest. Her eyes were closed, and Sarah thought about ducking back out.

"Just us chickens," Becca grinned, not even opening her eyes.

"I thought you were asleep, I was going to leave." Sarah tiptoed over to gaze down at Garrett, sleeping peacefully with his thumb in his mouth.

"Nope, just taking the advice my best friend once gave me."

"Which was?"

"'Sleep when the baby sleeps. Trust me, you'll need it.'"

Sarah and Becca laughed together, the first time in what seemed like a long time.

Becca opened her eyes cautiously to find Sarah watching Garrett, a wistful expression on her face. "I missed you, sis."

"I missed you, too, Bec. I'm sorry."

"Me too." Becca struggled to get comfortable, and Sarah grabbed her elbow to help her maneuver without waking the baby. "Damn, I swear he weighs forty pounds, not nine."

"He's really growing, isn't he?" Sarah smiled. "Must be all that love and attention he's getting, you think?"

"He's a male, he's a Carter … yep, I'd say that keeps him pretty happy."

"Simple logic, Bec," Sarah giggled.

Becca looked at her in silence, forcing Sarah to meet her eyes. "Are you all right?"

"I-"

"Don't try to blow me off, Sarah. I need to know. Are you really all right?"

Sarah sighed, sinking down into the chair opposite Becca. "I thought I was."

Becca thought for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "You know what really hurt me? That you kept things from me. You were scared and hurting and you pretended otherwise."

"I couldn't do that to you, Bec. My god, look what you'd been through with Garrett, and your blood pressure and-"

"That doesn’t matter to me, Sarah. What matters is you. You're my family just as much as Nick and Garrett, and I wanted to be there for you but you shut me out."

"I didn't mean to," she replied in a small voice.

"Sarah, I know you were trying to protect me, but it has to end here. Sure, I'm not as strong as you are, and sure, I fall apart pretty easily, but I need to be given a choice. Stop treating me like I'm made of glass."

"I was so scared, Bec. I tried to be 'up' for everyone, and I tried to just move on, but when I closed my eyes at night I saw it all again. And then I would see you, so sick and scared, and Nick-" She stopped to wipe her eyes. "I didn't want to see that anymore, so I just stopped sleeping or even trying to."

"Is that why you were in the hospital?"

"One of the reasons."

"Then tell me the rest, because Howie refused to talk to me about it."

"You talked to Howie?" she asked in surprise.

"Just a little while ago, as a matter of fact. Nick came in and interrupted us."

"Oh no, did he-"

"Stop trying to change the subject. You're not leaving here until we finish this, and I know you're not performing tonight, so that excuse won't work." Becca's eyes were dancing, and it felt pretty damn good to be in control for a change.

"In a nutshell, I was exhausted. I insisted on performing anyway-"

"Smooth move," Becca blurted, then grinned and raised a hand to Sarah. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Finish."

"Not only was I doing my own set, I was filling in for Tammy after Fatima canned her ass."

Becca grinned and raised her eyebrows at Sarah. "You'll give me the details on that, too?"

"Yeah, in a minute, hang on." Sarah grinned and found her place in the story again.

"Anyway, I collapsed backstage and began having contractions."

"Oh dear god." Becca reached for Sarah's hand and squeezed it tightly. "You must have been so scared."

"I was, Bec. I just knew I was going to lose the babies, and Howie was so angry with Fatima. I've never heard him talk to her the way he did that night."

"So they admitted you?"

"Yes, overnight. And all the guys came and stayed with me. And Nick- Bec, Nick was so sweet. He really was a big comfort to me that night."

"Obviously you're all right."

"It was stress and lack of sleep. I just need to be careful, but the babies are fine."

"And of course, all of this mess hasn't helped."

"Bec, I'm so sorry about yesterday. God, If I could just go back…"

"There's nothing you could have done, Sarah."

"I could have waited to post the ending of 'Dark Riders'," she snorted.

"Well, yeah, okay. That would have been nice. You killed him, Sarah, good grief!"

"I know, Bec." She sighed, casting her eyes downward.

"Look, I know it was Howie's idea."

"He told you that, too?" she asked in disbelief.

Becca nodded. "Sarah, he told me ALL of it. He told me about how Nick was a royal pain in the ass, and how he encouraged you to go out with Lisa…"

"One more thing to add to the list, huh, Bec?"

"Sarah, I was overly sensitive, too. I know that this wasn't all your fault. Any other time and it would have been fine. It was all compounded by the fact that I knew you were keeping stuff from me, I missed Nick terribly, I had a new baby and I was stuck alone with strangers. Who were wonderful to me, by the way, so don't get me wrong. It just wasn't you." She squeezed Sarah's hand for emphasis as Garrett began to stir.

"Hand him over, give your arm a break." Sarah took the soft, warm bundle and sighed when he snuggled up against her chest. "God, there's nothing like this," she said.

"I know. Lynne and Julie fussed at me because I held him so much, but I don't care. I plan to enjoy every minute of him. And Nick is so good with him, Sarah. Last night I just fell apart and Nick took over like he's been doing this for years."

"He's really a good man, Bec. You're so lucky."

"We're so lucky, sis. We have two of the best men around."

"Who still aren't speaking to each other," Sarah said.

"Well, I know Howie is trying, so I need to give Nick a gentle nudge in that direction."

Sarah shook her head. "Don't push it Bec, Howie hurt him pretty badly yesterday and he needs time to work that all out. He’ll come around, and Howie knows that, so just let nature take its course."

"So maybe they'll suddenly realize the error of their ways, and will race into each other's arms where they'll embrace tearfully and kiss and make up."

"Excuse me, do NOT go getting any fanfic ideas about our husbands. That already got you into trouble once before."

"But they make such a cute couple," Becca insisted.

"No, Kevin would get mad and then you'd have to write in a love triangle …"

They were still giggling when Nick came in to get dressed for the show. He looked from one to the other and just rolled his eyes. As he turned to look for his costume for the opening act, he smiled. Sarah and Becca were back together, and that made his day.

He stripped off his jeans and tossed them nonchalantly over a chair, oblivious to the appraising looks of the two women seated so close by.

As fate would have it, he dropped his shirt, and bent over to pick it up, his barely covered rear end right at their eye level.

"Oh my," Sarah mouthed at Becca who clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.

Becca tapped at Sarah's arm to get her attention and mouthed 'ghetto booty', which caused both of them to lose it completely.

"I hope ya'll are enjoying the hell out of yourselves at my expense," Nick drawled, never once looking at either of them.

"Absolutely," Becca affirmed.

"Nice show, Nicky." Sarah grinned wickedly and reached out to smack him on the ass.

"Hey, hey," Becca said quickly, "look but don't touch. That butt is all mine."

Nick looked over his shoulder and winked. "You can play with it later if you want."

"Damn, Nick, that kind of visual I do NOT need." Sarah rolled her eyes and groaned.

"Tell you what … after Bec is all better, then you and Howie can take turns riding on MY bus and listen to US doin' the nasty all night long and not be able to do anything about it."

"Poor Nicky," Sarah teased. "Whatsa matter, your wrist tired?"

"Not any more," he grinned, sending a pointed look in Becca's direction.

"Oh dear god, that’s it. I’m outta here." Sarah stood up and stretched, and Becca smiled when she caught a good look at Sarah's profile. She was showing a lot more, and it looked great on her. "You heading out to the bus, Bec?"

"No, it's bad enough I have to be on it all night, I'm waiting till the last minute to board."

"Bec, you need to be on it before the show ends," Nick reminded her. "I don't want you to get caught in the crowd."

"Tell you what, Bec," Sarah said, "let's watch the show from backstage and then we'll head out to the buses before the encore."

"Sounds like a plan." Becca took Garrett back and leaned against Nick. "Thanks Sarah," she whispered.

Sarah said nothing, but she wrapped her arms around both Becca and Nick, and that said it all. She was off to find Howie and grab a bite to eat before the show, and as she looked back, Nick, Becca and Garrett were huddled together in a silent embrace.

"Yep, one more mess to fix and we'll be back to normal." She sent up a silent prayer for Nick and Howie, but as she passed Fiona in the hall, she amended it. "Okay, two messes." Looking for Howie, she vowed to take care of that little problem as soon as possible, but to tell Becca about it first.

Part 322        The Dance Index(3)