Part 343
Watching their friends leave, Kevin’s thoughts raced. How was he going to explain Lynne? How would Vanessa take it? Did he really care how she would react?
"Kevin?"
Kevin came out of his thoughts and looked at Vanessa who was now standing in front of him. Trying to smile, Kevin said, "It’s good to see you again."
"Is it really, Kevin? You seemed a million miles away…or were you just upstairs?"
"Of course, it’s good to see you, Vanessa," said Kevin as he attempted to take her in his arms but she pushed him back. "Ness?"
"Don’t, Kevin. Things between us have never been right. You’ve been in love with Sarah since the day I met you and even though you’ve tried, things between us have been strained for the last month."
"That’s just because we’ve been apart and everything that’s happened, Vanessa," pleaded Kevin. He wasn’t exactly sure why he was pleading with her. He just knew he didn’t want Vanessa to blame Sarah for all this.
"No, it isn’t, Kevin. You’ve called four times in the last week and couldn’t even talk enough to leave a decent message. And I saw the look on your face when you came in here. You don’t want me here. What were you going to do, break up with me on the phone or just leave me hanging?"
"That’s NOT what I was going to do. And I never said I didn’t want you here. You just surprised me, that’s all. I’m sorry. Come on, let’s sit down."
"Who’s Lynne?" asked Vanessa as she resumed her seat in the chair she’d had earlier.
Kevin sank down on the couch running his hands through his hair. It was going to be a long night but he needed to do this. Howie had been right. Vanessa was a connection to Sarah and the only way to get on with his life was to make a clean break. He just needed to do this gracefully without hurting Vanessa.
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Wearing a white satin gown, Sarah stood in front of the mirror brushing her hair out. She wondered what was going on with Kevin and how Howie already knew.
In the other room, Howie was doing his nightly stomach crunches and push ups. As he finished, Sarah came into the room. Looking up at her, he thought, ‘God, she’s so beautiful.’
"Howie, is Kevin breaking up with Vanessa?"
"I don’t know, Angel, but I want you to stay out of it," he answered getting up. He took her hand in his and pulled her to him. "Let Kevin take care of his own love life."
"What’s going on, ‘D’? Kevin said you’d explain."
"I will…once I have you in bed and in my arms. Are you ready?"
Trying to stifle a yawn, Sarah nodded her head ‘yes’ and Howie laughed.
"Come on, Mama. First night without the child and you can’t keep your eyes open," teased Howie as he pulled her to the bed. "You’ve got a long day tomorrow."
Settling into bed, Sarah watched as Howie changed into his satin pajama pants before climbing into bed with her. She snuggled into his embrace as he kissed her on the forehead and rested her hand on his chest.
"What’s up with Kevin and how do you know what’s going on?"
"Kevin and I talked on the plane out here. He’s having second thoughts about his relationship with Vanessa. Sarah, promise me you’ll stay out of it."
"Okay! I got the hint the FIRST time you asked," sighed Sarah.
"Kevin’s trying to move on, get over you. The other night, after trying to call Vanessa, Kevin called Lynne."
"Lynne…as in Toronto?"
"Yeah. He felt something that he hadn’t felt in a while."
"But I thought he was trying to work things out with Vanessa?"
"He tried but Angel, it’s not going to work. You’re always going to come between them and Kevin will never be happy. He wants to keep his friendship with you but it’s impossible to have a relationship with Vanessa too."
"Me? How am I going to come between them?"
"Sarah, Kevin’s told you how he feels about you."
"But why break up with Vanessa?"
"Because she’s a constant reminder of you. She was your childhood friend and you set them up."
Confused, Sarah said, "I don’t get it. He wants to keep his friendship with me but he can’t continue to see Vanessa because of me."
Howie caressed her arm as he watched the thoughts race through her eyes. "Angel, Lynne is a fresh start and she knows NOTHING of your past with Kevin…she won’t feel threatened by his friendship with you. Vanessa is always going to blame you for their problems or think there’s something going on between the two of you even when there’s not."
"That’s ridiculous, Howie. I’m completely in love with you."
"But it’s how you women are. Look, Lynne makes Kevin smile. Last night, when we were talking, I saw the first genuine smile in Kevin’s eyes in a very LONG time. He deserves to be happy, Angel."
A tear escaped onto his chest as Sarah whispered, "I want him to be happy."
"Sarah, you’ll always be special to him. You two can deny your connection all you want but everyone who watches you sees it."
"But…." Sarah tried to protest.
Howie smiled as he put his finger on her lips to silence her. "I know it’s not the same as what we have but Sarah, you two have a bond. It was forged after everything the two of you went through…that night at Tabu, when you told him you were pregnant, the bulimia. And that night you fell down the steps, while we waited, I saw the same fear in his eyes that I was feeling. He felt as guilty for your hurt as I did. He blamed himself for being weak and allowing his pleasure to take control."
Sarah didn’t say anything as she thought about what Howie had said. As usual, he was right about it all.
"Angel, are you okay?"
Softly, she said, "Yeah, I guess. I just never realized how deep Kevin’s feelings for me were. Am I that naïve, Howie?"
"No, you aren’t, Sarah. You’ve just never been completely focused on Kevin with everything that’s going on in our lives right now. What you and Kevin have is special and you’ll always have a place for him in your heart and I’ll always be thankful that he took such good care of you."
"Really?"
Howie kissed her and whispered, "Yeah. Despite being jealous last week, Kevin is my ‘brother’, like all the others. Now, it’s time for you to go to sleep."
Yawning, Sarah said, "We aren’t gonna make love?"
"Not tonight, Angel," answered Howie in the same soft voice as he watched Sarah’s eyes flutter shut. He began singing to her…No diga una palabra que entenderé que Usted quiere saber si yo no soy todavía su Chica de hombre puede usted dice Por el toque de la mano yo soy gonna por favor usted cada manera que puedo del CORO PRE que tendré usted lo Ama yo nunca permitiré que su amor irá (Permitió usted ir, permitir usted ir) Para siempre, permaneceré mirará Apenas en ojos y (Words to "I’ll Be There For You" in Spanish)
Howie barely got to the first chorus when he realized that Sarah’s breathing had slowed and she was asleep in his arms. He smiled and whispered, "Angel, I’ll always be there for you."