Part 39

He whispered, "No, not anymore, Angel. We’re married now and there’s no need."

"Shouldn’t we wait until the tour is over?"

"Nope! If you get pregnant tonight, it wouldn’t be soon enough. I can’t wait to have MY baby growing inside you," he said as he rubbed her stomach.

"What do you want, a boy or a girl?"

"I don’t care as long it’s healthy and it’s OUR child," said Howie as he continued to rub her.

"Can I tell you something?"

"You know the answer to that."

"This is stupid, but I’m jealous of Nick and Becca. I mean, they’ve got a baby on the way and they’re…."

"Happy? Think about it, Sarah. Becca’s been gone for five months because she was scared. They don’t know how to deal with the problems they face first as a couple and then as a couple in the spotlight. Becca runs from them and Nick ignores them."

"Like we really dealt with OUR problems in a mature way?"

"Sure, we chose dangerous ways to avoid our problems but my career wasn’t the underlying issue. For Becca, it’s the cause of ALL their problems and THEIR immaturity with relationships compounds everything."

"Do you think they’ll be okay?"

"In the long run, yeah, I think they will be. What we went through strengthened our relationship. God has a purpose for everything. Sometimes it’s not clear right away. Sure, it hurt like hell when you lost the baby and I was scared when we broke up, but I had faith in God that there was a reason for it all."

"What was that reason?"

"To teach us to communicate our needs and desires; to make sure we didn’t take our relationship for granted; to make us grow up. Sarah, I’ve watched you grow up so much over the last year. Underneath, you were an extremely confident person, strong, secure, but Russell didn’t want that to come out and he did everything to destroy that. All you needed was someone to let you be you. Now, don’t worry about babies. There will be LOTS of them…. all as beautiful as their mother."

Sarah smiled, "Or as handsome as their father. I love you, D."

"I love you, too, Sarah."

Sarah ran her hands along his arms as she yawned, "Sing to me, please."

Nuzzling her neck, Howie laughed softly. "You sing as well as I do. Why do you want me to sing?"

"Because I love hearing your voice."

"What do you want me to sing?"

"The song from the wedding…’Drowning. It’s so perfect."

Holding her close, Howie sang softly and Sarah drifted peacefully to sleep. Before he was finished, Howie could tell she was asleep. He hugged her close, kissing her on the neck, and settled into the pillows to fall asleep as the sun started to peek over the horizon.

Part 40       The Dance Index