Part 415
Tears stung her eyes as she watched the activity backstage in the hall. Howie was making sure all the necessary paperwork for Jesse to start school was complete and in order while the guys…AJ, Brian, Nick, and Kevin…played tag with Jesse. Lisa, Nikki, and Fi had joined in the fun as well. She spotted Raoul leaving the dressing room carrying Jesse’s bags out to the waiting car while the girlfriends sat with her watching. They were getting to know Lynne and trying to keep Sarah’s mind off of Jesse leaving but they were failing miserably.
Becca put her arm around Sarah’s shoulder and whispered, "It’s all going to be okay, sis."
Sarah leaned her head on Becca’s shoulder. "I know. It just hurts so much right now."
Looking over her shoulder at Sarah, Pollyanna asked, "Howie, are you sure this is the best thing? Sarah looks like she’s going to fall to pieces any minute now."
Howie looked over at his wife sitting with Becca and his heart was in his throat. He was having a hard time with all this too but he didn’t want to let on. He’d been so determined to have the family together no matter where they were.
"Jesse needs to be in school," was all Howie could say.
Knowing her brother all too well, Pollyanna knew he was just as upset as Sarah was and she put her hand on his arm. "Mama, Ang, and I will take good care of her, Howard. Ang and I are going to take her school shopping tomorrow before we go to register her."
"Sarah’s already done that," said Howie flatly.
"What about clothes?"
"That too."
"What do I need to do then?"
"Video tape her getting ready and getting on the bus…whatever you can about her first day."
"No problem and I’ll send it to you."
"Thanks, sis."
Raoul returned, "Boss, it’s time."
"Okay," said Howie handing the papers to his sister. Looking at Sarah and getting her attention, he nodded his head and she joined him taking his hand. Howie called, "Jess, it’s time!"
Jesse dodged AJ’s grasp only to be caught in Brian’s embrace. He lifted her off the ground to hug her tight and place a kiss on her cheek. Then it was the other guys’ turns.
Sarah and Howie stood watching and weren’t surprised to see tears in their friends’ eyes as well.
When they had all said goodbye, Jesse turned to her parents. Trying hard not to cry, she begged, "Daddy, Mommy…please…I don’t want to go."
Howie let go of Sarah’s hand to gather Jesse in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he lovingly rubbed her back. "Princess, we’ve talked about this. You’re going to make lots of friends and you’re going to have so much fun."
"But I want you to go with me," sobbed the little girl.
"I know you do, ‘Princess’. I promise, the first day Mommy and I are back, we’ll go with you and spend the day."
Sarah had lost control of her tears the minute Jesse had looked at her so pitifully. AJ wrapped his arms around her and held her close as she listened to Howie talking to her. He was having a hard time himself fighting back the tears and was grateful for his dark glasses.
Jesse looked over at Sarah. "Mommy?"
Wiping her tears, "Yeah, baby?"
"I’m gonna miss you."
"I’m gonna miss you too, Jess," she responded as AJ let go of her and Howie handed Jesse to her. Hugging her tight, she whispered, "I’m always gonna be in your heart, Jesse, and I need you to be a big girl. You mind Meme and your aunts too."
"I will, Mommy. I promise."
Raoul said softly, "Sarah, we’re going to be late."
Sarah nodded then kissed Jesse. "I love you, baby…very much."
"I love you too, Mommy."
As Sarah set Jesse down, Howie knelt down beside her. "’Princess’, I want you to do me a huge favor."
"Okay, Daddy."
"Every night, I want you to look out at the stars before you go to bed and I want you to find the brightest star out there," said Howie taking her hands in his.
"Why, Daddy?" she asked curiously.
"Because that brightest star is where our guardian angels are and they’re watching over you, Mommy, and me and ALL the people you love."
"Who are our guardian angels, Daddy?"
"Well, there’s your Nana and my sister, Caroline."
"There’s my dad," said Kevin.
AJ added, "And my grandmother."
"Danny," offered Nick as Becca squeezed his hand.
"My Uncle Thomas too," spoke up Brian.
"And your father," said Sarah softly.
All eyes turned to Sarah, surprised that she would say that.
Jesse questioned, "My father?"
Sarah knelt down with Howie. "Even though he did some very bad things to me, Jesse, he loved YOU a great deal and would never have hurt you."
"Wow! We’ve got a lot of guardian angels," exclaimed Jesse.
"That’s because a lot of people love you," smiled Howie. He hugged her tight one more time and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you, ‘Princess’."
Sarah took Jesse’s hand as the little girl looked at her ‘family’. "Goodbye," she said choking back a sob.
They all chorused their good-byes as they watched Sarah walk with her out to the car followed by Pollyanna and Raoul.
Kevin said quietly, "Howie, think you need to go out with Sarah?"
Howie shook his head, "Sarah asked me not to go. She wanted the time alone."
"You are going to wait close by for her, aren’t you?" asked Becca.
Smiling through his tears, Howie said, "You REALLY need to ask?"
Becca laughed, "Not really."
Somberly, the group dispersed to get ready for the show leaving Howie to wait alone for Sarah. They understood the couple’s need to be alone and quite frankly, they needed time too.
Stopping at the door of Nick’s dressing room, Becca looked back at Howie staring at the back door. She saw how his shoulders sagged and the sad look in his eyes haunted her, tugging at her soul.
"Nick, I’m gonna go wait with Howie."
Nick looked at Howie, "No problem. I’ll take GT so you two can be alone."
Taking the baby, Nick headed inside and Becca made her way back. She took Howie’s hand in hers and he looked at her gratefully. Not a word was spoken but there was an unspoken understanding between the two.
The sound of the door opening echoed throughout the hall and they looked up to see Sarah returning. She moved quickly into Howie’s arms but reached for Becca’s hand as she sobbed uncontrollably.
Becca held Sarah’s hand as she instinctively rubbed Howie’s back just as if she would have done GT to calm him. Her own tears fell unheeded.
It took several minutes for all to regain their composure and Howie asked, "Was she okay?"
"Not really and yes. She was excited about going to school which is the most important thing."
"That’s good," said Becca. "By the time they get in the air good, Jesse will be fine. And as soon as YOU get on stage, you’ll be fine."
"Thanks for being here, Bec," said Howie.
"No problem."
"’Angel’, you need to get ready for the show."
"I know. Bec, we’ll see you in a few," said Sarah giving her a hug.
Becca watched the two walk arm in arm to their dressing room before heading back to Nick. Her heart ached for her best friend but she knew as soon as Sarah hit the stage, she would be okay.