Part 478

Sarah grinned. "She’s always been a sucker for tall good-looking blondes."

"And so we witness the birth of a fanfic writer, huh Nick?" Sarah laughed. "I’ll bet this was when she first began to write. I’d love to see her first effort."

"Never mind," he said with a smirk.

"That was so hard to do, Sarah."

"I remember. It got to the point where I couldn’t even watch you sing it during the shows."

"Yeah, I was a mess. But it was her song, Sarah. I had to make her see that I would love her more than that arrogant asshole had. Dammit, if he wasn’t already dead I could kill him myself." Nick tossed down the journal and strode to the window, looking out over the city.

"He didn’t die a pleasant death Nick," Sarah reminded him.

"Good," he spat angrily.

"Nick you don’t mean that." Sarah was behind him now, her arms around his waist and her cheek pressed against his back.

"Maybe I do. He hurt her, Sarah. He hurt her so deeply and I can never forgive him for that."

"It’s not your job, Nick. There’s a higher power to take care of that for you, and Becca would be the first to tell you that."

Nick seemed to deflate with her censure and pulled away. His shoulders drooped as he fell back onto the couch and began to read silently.

He smiled as he remembered Sarah’s pleading with him to write her, to give it one more try. It had worked. Several days later, the next entry made him smile.

"Nick?" Sarah sat down beside him again, perplexed when he smiled even as a new tear escaped.

"I’m sorry, sis. I didn’t mean to go off on you. You did more to get us back together than I ever could have."

"Nick, that’s not so. You never gave up on Becca. You kept writing to her even when she wouldn’t reply." Sarah laid her head on Nick’s shoulder and began to read where the journal had fallen open. "Oh my god," she whispered. "Nick, keep reading."

Nick choked back a sob. "It worked, Sarah. It really worked." He tried to continue reading, but could no longer see through his tears. "I can’t do this any more," he said. "Here." He handed the book to Sarah and lay his head back, closing his eyes wearily.

Sarah continued to read aloud.

Sarah wiped away a few tears of her own. "That was right before she called me." Sarah vividly remembered Nick’s excitement at receiving Becca’s letter and his devastating crash back to reality when he realized he’d inadvertently destroyed the return postmark. He’d thought it was his last hope of ever finding her.

"Tell me what happened?" he asked quietly.

"When, Nick?" Sarah leaned back against him and he began to absently stroke her hair.

"At the end, when you finally talked to her."

"It was late at night. Nick, she sounded so lost, but it was just so damned good to hear her voice."

He smiled. "I can imagine."

"I was so afraid to ask her questions, but there was so much I wanted to know. I was afraid if I pushed too hard she’d hang up on me and then I’d never find her. But I guess she was ready to talk. Once she started, it was like a dam had burst and she couldn’t tell me everything fast enough."

"She told you about Andrew?"

"She told me about finding the article, seeing that he’d died from AIDS and how long he’d been infected. She put two and two together and came up with six, Nick. She thought she’d killed you."

"Sarah!"

"It’s true Nick. She was terrified because she’d had unprotected sex with both of you and her imagination went into overdrive. You know how Becca was back then, she truly felt the only way out was to leave you. She never stopped to think about telling you or going for testing because she was in a blind panic."

"She couldn’t tell me anyway, Sarah. I’d flat out told her to never mention his name in front of me again. Ever. Holy fuck, how mature was that?"

"And I was too deep into my own problems to see what was going on." She paused, the details of that night coming back in a rush. "She was crying the entire time she was talking to me, but when she told me she was pregnant I lost it too. Poor Howie, I was sobbing and begging her to tell you, begging her to come home, and at some point I managed to ask her where she was. Can you believe it? She actually told me."

"It must have been a relief for her Sarah. She’d held all of that inside for months, and from some of the things she said today, she’d had a rough time with her pregnancy."

"While I listened to her, I managed to tell Howie where she was and he used his cell phone to get me a flight. She kept me talking for so long I almost didn’t make it."

"And then you turned right around and came back? Sarah, you must have been exhausted."

"It was worth it, Nicky. When I saw the look on your face when you realized she was back …" Sarah leaned closer, wrapping her arms around Nick. "You were stunned, and happy and you looked like you’d won a million dollars."

"I had my life back, Sarah. Becca is everything to me and I can’t imagine having to go on without her. Read me the next part, Sarah."

Sarah looked at the book and flipped to page only to find the rest of the book devoid of writing. "It looks like the last entry, Nick. It was written the morning I came to get her."

Sarah was weeping softly as she read the last word, and Nick hugged her tightly.

"C’mere," he said, pulling her down so that her head rested in his lap. "Thanks for being here, sis. I love you a lot, you know that?"

"Yeah, Nicky, I do." She sighed as he combed his fingers through her hair, and in no time had drifted off to sleep.

Nick closed his eyes, too, and as he followed her into a light slumber, Becca’s journal fell from his hand onto the plush carpet of their suite.

Part 479       Index