Part 487
In the room, he shut the door behind him with his foot and took Sarah to the bed. He set her down on the huge king size bed and took a pillow to tuck it under her stomach. Watching his wife, his heart ached knowing the pain she felt. It had never bothered him what people said because he knew the truth but he knew his wife. Sarah was already overly sensitive because of being tired and all the emotions she’d dealt with talking to Nick. Hearing someone bash him like he knew Lou had was like lighting a stick of dynamite. The common area of the suite was proof.
Quickly undressing, Howie joined Sarah on the bed. Wrapping his arms around her, he cradled her head against his chest. "Angel, I know it was hard to hear Lou say those things, but you know the truth about us. You’ve let him win by getting upset like this."
"But why Howie? Why would he say he’d seen it?" sobbed Sarah.
Howie grew silent knowing what Lou had been referring to. It hadn’t been what Lou had thought but to Howie, it hadn’t been worth the fight to set the record straight. Lou was going to believe what he wanted to believe no matter what.
Sarah looked up at Howie and he wiped her tears. His silence scared her. "Howie?"
"I know what he’s talking about," said Howie softly. "It was right after I broke up with Claudia. I was really upset one night and AJ and I were sharing a room. He held me that night while I cried and we fell asleep like that. Lou came to get us because we’d slept through the wake-up call and found us…"
"And neither one of you wear much clothing to bed," finished Sarah.
"Back then, I didn’t wear anything and AJ still doesn’t. We tried to tell Lou nothing happened but he wouldn’t listen. He told me that if I didn’t change, I’d be kicked out of the group."
"Why you? Why not AJ too?"
"A lot of reasons. One, Lou was looking for an excuse to get rid of me because I didn’t fit the image he had for the group. I’ve always kept my private life just that, private. You’re the first girlfriend that I let the press know anything about. I use to get the girl to meet me wherever we were going so we were never seen entering together…thus the reason no one ever sees me at these big events with a date," answered Howie caressing her cheek. "Was the interview the only thing that upset you, ‘Angel’?"
Smiling through the tears, Sarah said, "You know me too well. No, it wasn’t. Your ‘stalker’ has written a little piece of fiction where you’re gay."
"The story’s called ‘In Name Only’."
Shocked, Sarah asked, "You know about it?"
"Nick found it last February. It’s just fiction, ‘Angel’, nothing more."
"Doesn’t it bother you…that a fan wrote something like that?"
"Not really. She wrote it out of spite because I’d fired her."
"Becca said it was because you rejected her. Why don’t you do something about it?"
"Like what?"
"Get the site shut down."
"’Angel’, that’s not fair to the fans. You’ve said it yourself, there are more sites out there than we know about and there’s bound to be more like it. Even Becca has done one. Besides, the story is well written."
Sarah had forgotten completely about that and suddenly felt ashamed that she’d let Rho’s story get to her. Casting her eyes down, she whispered, "I feel really stupid."
"You’re not stupid, Sarah, just overly sensitive. You’ve had a long day and relived a lot of things that were painful. Let it go."
Sarah suddenly felt the exhaustion and her head ached. Closing her eyes to block the pain, she whispered, "I’m sorry, ‘D’. I behaved like a brat tonight."
"At least you know it. Go to sleep, ‘Angel’."
In no time at all, Sarah was sleeping peacefully. She had her hand on his chest and her head nestled in the crook of his shoulder, her safe spot.
Howie held her listening to the sounds she made as she slept. When he felt it was safe, he eased out from under her and got up. Pulling on a pair of sweats, he headed out to check on the living area. He was surprised to find Nick and Becca sitting on the couch watching the new TV. It was a rebroadcast of the interview with Lou.
As Howie stood at the bar pouring himself a drink, Nick looked up, "How is she?"
"Asleep, thankfully. Is this the interview?"
Becca nodded her head, "Yeah, it is. Howie, Sarah had every right to be angry and I’m grateful that she didn’t hear the things he said about her."
Sitting down tiredly in the chair next to the couch, Howie listened to Lou’s ranting about Sarah. That sealed it for him. He knew now that he had to do something. It was one thing for Lou to go after him but there was no way he was going to let someone go after Sarah.
Nick looked at Howie. "What are you going to do?"
"I’m going to let Steve handle it."
"You know, Sarah has got to learn to handle the bad publicity as well as the good."
"I realize that, Nick, and so does she, but you know as well as I do that Lou is doing this just to get at me."
Nick heard the anger in Howie’s voice. "Hey, I’m just pointing…."
Becca spoke up, "Guys, there’s been enough tension tonight. Howie, is Sarah really okay? I’ve NEVER seen her go off like that before. I mean, I know she’s got a temper but to throw something at the television like she did. What if Garrett or Jesse had been here?"
"Sarah knows she was wrong and honestly, if the children HAD been here, I doubt she’d have lost it like that. I’m headed back to bed. I’ll see you two in the morning, maybe," said Howie as he downed the rest of his drink.
"’Night, Howie," chorused the couple.
Back in his room, Howie climbed into bed and lay facing Sarah. He smiled watching as she slept. Peaceful. God, it was hard to imagine her being so angry that she’d destroy a room but he knew she had a bad temper, something left over from her marriage to Russell. He reached over to touch her and she opened her eyes.
Sleepily, "Where did you go?"
"Out to check on the living area and get a drink. Nick and Becca were up."
"What time is it?"
Howie looked at his watch, "Almost midnight."
"I guess a midnight snack is out?"
"Yeah, it is," answered Howie. He ran his hand down her arm to take her hand in his. He could hear the emotions in her voice and the urge for a midnight snack was a dead give away that she was still upset. Stoking the back of her hand with his thumb, he said, "Talk to me, ‘Angel’. What’s going on?"
"Nothing…everything! My little temper tantrum….that’s something I use to do when I was with Russell and needed a fix. What’s happening to me?"
"You’re gonna have babies, that’s what’s happening to you."
"I can’t blame EVERYTHING on my hormones, Howie."
"Why not? Would you have done this when you weren’t pregnant? You’ve heard the exact same stuff before when we were dating and you laughed it off. You were tired tonight and your body is under a lot of stress with the extra hormones. Stop punishing yourself for what happened. It’s over, you’re okay. Know what you need?"
"To be tied to the bed and beaten?" asked Sarah timidly.
"NO! That’s what Russell would have done. I’m gonna hold you close and tell you just how much I love you. Now come closer," he coaxed.
Sarah rolled so that her back was against his chest and he put he arm across her stomach. His arms were her harbor and she let go now that she was safe. Her tears slid down effortlessly onto the pillow as her body trembled. He wrapped his other arm around her pulling her closer as he sang to her. Slowly, the exhaustion took over and the tears stopped. Her breathing slowed and her body relaxed. Sleep had finally claimed her but he didn’t let go of her.
Howie continued to hold her close needing her as much as she needed him. The warmth of her body against his worked on him much the same way it had on her. Sleep overtook him and he drifted into dreamland.