Part 69
Howie’s silence told Sarah that he was angry and she looked at him helplessly. "D, please! Don’t be angry," she begged, choking back the tears.
Howie knew that he had to calm down before he said anything to Sarah that he’d regret later. Getting up, Howie looked at her and said flatly, "I’m going to get a shower." As he went into their bedroom, he slammed the door behind him signaling that it was best for her to leave him alone.
The slamming of the door caused Sarah to shudder. She’d never seen Howie this angry with her before and she was scared. She knew she was wrong and she’d tried not to say anything but Nick had pushed her. She drew her knees up to her chest hugging them tight and began to cry.
In the bathroom, Howie quickly undressed and went to get his shower. He stood under the steady stream of water leaning back against the wall and thought about what had just happened. Lately things with Sarah and Becca had been different. They were still close but there was something about Sarah that he just couldn’t quite figure out. He let the events run through his head and out of nowhere, it hit him. The realization of WHY Sarah was acting the way she was towards Becca made perfect sense to him now.
Out on the couch, Sarah never heard the knock on the door or Nick opening it. He called softly, "D…..Sarah?" and then he heard her sobs from the couch. He moved quickly to her and took Sarah in his arms asking softly, "Where’s D?"
"Taking a shower! Nick, I’m sorry."
"Don’t be! I’m grateful to you for forcing some issues out into the
open. It needed to be said."
"God! Nick! I’ve NEVER seen Howie this mad at me before….at you, yeah,
and Kevin and AJ…but never ME!"
"What did he say?"
"That’s just it, Nick. He didn’t say anything. I think I’d rather have had him yell at me than to not say anything. What am I gonna do, Nick?"
"I’ll talk to him."
"Would you?"
"Stay put."
Spinning from all the alcohol and what had just happened, Sarah smirked through the tears. "Don’t worry…until the room stops spinning, I’m not going anywhere."
Nick laughed, "Just how much have you had tonight?"
"Not sure…WAY more than I normally have."
They heard the bedroom door open and looked up to see Howie coming out. He spotted Nick and asked, "What’s up, Nick?"
"I came to check on you two."
"Nothing to check on. Go on back and be with Becca."
"She went home."
"Everything okay?"
"Everything’s fine with Becca but I wanted to be sure it was the same
here."
Howie looked at Sarah, her eyes red and swollen from crying and her makeup streaked from the tears. "I’ve calmed down."
"Look, D, you gotta know, I’m not mad at Sarah. I’m grateful that
she said something because it forced Becca to open up some. Maybe now she’ll
realize that I’m NOT going anywhere and she’s the only woman I want to be
with," said Nick as Howie sat on the back of the couch behind Sarah.
"I pushed Sarah into saying something and if she hadn’t been drinking,
she wouldn’t have said anything at all."
Howie put his hands on Sarah’s shoulders to pull her back into his arms as he said, "Grateful or not, Nick, Sarah had no right to say the things she did tonight. It wasn’t fair to Becca."
"Says who? After what Sarah did to protect Becca tonight, I think she has EVERY right to say something. We’ve always prided ourselves on being honest with the fans and with the press but tonight, Sarah had to out-right lie to them to protect Becca and me. THAT wasn’t fair to Sarah."
Howie looked down at Sarah who was crying silently. He kissed her on the forehead and said, "I’ve thought about that and you’re right."
"Are you two gonna be okay?"
The couple looked into each other’s eyes speaking volumes in their gaze. "Yeah, we’re gonna be fine. Still have to discuss what’s on her shoulder though," teased Howie.
Nick laughed, "I saw that earlier. I just figured you knew she was gonna do it. Look, I’m outta here if you’re okay."
Sarah took Nick’s hand, "Thanks, Nicky."
Nick leaned to give Sarah a kiss, "Just returning the favor. Don’t let Howie give you too hard a time. I think it’s cool."
When Nick was gone, Sarah moved so that Howie could sit on the couch with her. As she moved, he got a closer look at the tattoo and then took her in his arms pulling her into his embrace. "What possessed you to get one?"
"I don’t know. I’ve always liked AJ’s and there was a guy tonight in the show that had almost as many as AJ. That led to a conversation and Vanessa showed us hers. Are you upset?"
"No, it suits you and I like that you had ‘Sweet D’s Angel’ done. Makes you mine for life," he said as he kissed her neck.
Howie held Sarah close to him making her feel safe. She whispered, "I’m sorry about tonight and the things I said."
"I’m not the one you need to apologize to, Sarah. I thought about what’s going on with you and Becca and I want you to listen to what I’m gonna say. First of all, you BOTH need to come to terms with the changes your relationship has had lately. I know you’re both happy for each other but I think you are having a hard time dealing with Becca NOT needing you all the time. She’s got Nick now and you have to accept the fact that you aren’t the only one in her life now who she’s gonna turn to with her problems."
Sarah was quiet, thinking about what Howie had said. He was right. For the last seven years, she had been Becca’s strength and confidant. They had shared everything but now she was with Nick and seemingly didn’t need her anymore. Deep down, Sarah hurt and it was coming out in all the wrong ways. Softly, in a whisper, she said, "I’ll apologize and make this right."
Howie kissed her. "Sarah, it doesn’t mean that Becca doesn’t love you or doesn’t need you any more. It just means that she’s got Nick too….like you have me."
"Thank you, D!"
"Angel, you knew all this in your heart. I just simply made your head hear it. Now let’s go to bed. We have a show to do…" Howie looked at his watch, "in 16 hours."
***************
"So you're going to talk to her?" Howie had his arms around Sarah as they waited in the wings. The TD Waterhouse Center in Orlando was beginning to fill up. Fans had been lining the back sidewalk for two days, trying to catch a glimpse of the guys and some were so desperate they even took pictures of the empty buses.
"I have to," she sighed. "I can't just blindly show up for her wedding and act like nothing's happened, D."
"It'll be ok, Angel."
"I'm not so sure this time. The things I said to her and to Nick … I really screwed up. Anyway, she won’t be here tonight, you know she hates the thought of being spotted in the crowd, especially now, as big as she is. The reporters are onto her and it's only a matter of time before the tabloids take the news and run with it. I can see it now: 'Backstreet Baby Having A Baby' God, D, she'll be devastated. No, she won’t be here."
"Then I'm guessing no one told HER that." Howie turned her around and she gasped when she saw Becca standing off to the side with Nick. "It's now or never, Angel," he whispered, giving her a gentle push toward Becca.