Part 83

Howie wasn’t in the shower long but when he came back, Sarah was asleep. A feeling of complete helplessness flooded him then anger as he watched her sleeping. He could see the tear stains on her cheeks and the pillow and knew she’d cried herself to sleep.

He needed to get away, to get some air. Howie pulled a blanket over her and went out to where Kevin was stretched out on the couch. Exhausted, Howie collapsed in the chair across from Kevin and covered his eyes with his arm.

Kevin looked at him knowing exactly how he felt. He asked, "Is she okay?"

Without looking at Kevin and his voice faltering, Howie answered, "She’s asleep."

"That’s good."

Silence overtook the two men as they both considered the chain of events of the evening. After several minutes, Howie pounded his fists on the chair and growled through clenched teeth, "Why the hell did he do it?"

Kevin sat up and shook his head, "D, you’re upset…"

"Hell yeah! That’s my WIFE in there who was raped by one of my best friends…one of HER best friends."

"Calm down and think. You and I both know it was the alcohol and drugs. So does Sarah. AJ is out of control and he’s hurting the ones who care the most."

"What do I do, Kevin? How do I go onstage every night with him?"

"I don’t know, D, but we BOTH have to figure it out. We have to do this tour. Off-stage will be different though."

"How do I face him?"

"What’s your gut tell you? No…don’t answer that. I know the answer to that one. Look, Sarah doesn’t want anyone else to know so the less said, the better. She said Raoul knows and he’ll take care of her. Just don’t let her be alone with him."

Howie’s tears finally came in a flood as he said, "God! Why is this happening to me now? Everything was so perfect!"

Kevin reached over and put his hand on Howie’s leg. "You’ve both been through worse, D. You’ll make it through this. Why don’t you go back to her now? You need her as much as she needs you…maybe more."

Howie wiped his eyes with his arm. "I just hope she knows that."

"Go SHOW her! Show her she’s still your angel."

Howie got up, putting his hand on Kevin’s shoulder. "Thanks!"

"No problem, D, and hey, give her a hug for me."

Howie smiled sadly, "You can give her one when we get to the hotel. By the way, is your AC REALLY screwed up?"

Kevin grinned, "No. Sarah asked me to ride with y’all. She must have been scared to tell you about AJ."

"She knew I’d have probably stopped the bus and gone after him. It’s probably a good thing you were with us."

"Believe me, the thought crossed my mind. Go on, D. She’s back there and would probably like to have you holding her."

Howie gently closed the door and turned off the light leaving just the emergency lights casting a soft glow throughout the room. In the shadows, Howie saw Sarah still sleeping peacefully. He slipped off his sweats and joined her on the bunk.

Softly, he brushed her hair back, startling her awake. "Shhh…it’s just me, Angel," soothed Howie.

Sarah relaxed and moved closer to him. Softly, she asked, "Why’d he do it, D? Why’d he hurt me like that?"

"He’s out of control, Angel. It wasn’t AJ…it was the alcohol and the drugs controlling him," answered Howie in a calming voice. "How bad did he hurt you?"

"Physically, not that bad. He bit me on the neck and held my wrists. Emotionally…that’s another story. Howie, did I bring this on with the way I dress and the way we flirt?"

"NO!! Is that why you changed?"

"Sorta…and to find something to cover the bruises on my neck."

"Take the shirt off so I can see what he did."

Sarah sat up to undress and then lay back beside Howie. He turned on the little reading light and brushed her hair out of the way. Softly, he said, "God, Angel…maybe we should put some ice on them."

"Nah…they’ll go away. I’ll just have to wear something to cover them up."

Howie took her wrists in his hands and saw the fingertip shaped bruises AJ had left holding her and his tears began again. "Sarah, I’m sorry I let you come out to get him."

In a child-like voice, Sarah asked, "Do you still want me?:

Howie kissed her on the tip of her nose, "More than ever, Angel."

"D…hold me…please."

Howie wrapped his arms around her pulling her close to him. He nuzzled her neck, kissing the marks AJ had left to make the pain go away. He whispered against her skin, "Your body feels so good against mine. It fits perfectly."

Sarah didn’t answer him but ran her hands across his arms, his strong arms. She craved the protection of his arms, the warmth of his embrace. Her tears started again too and fell onto his arms.

Howie had her roll over to face him and with his thumbs, he wiped the tears away then kissed her lightly on the lips. He looked into her eyes and needed to take the pain away. He whispered softly as he caressed her cheek, "Angel, I want to make love to you."

Without saying a word, Sarah reached to take his hand in hers and guide it to her breasts. Through the material of her bra, Howie felt her nipples harden under his touch. He smiled lovingly as she them moved his hand down between her thighs. She whispered, "I need you to make love to me."

Lovingly, Howie explored her body and tickled all the familiar places finding some new ones in the process and removing the last of her clothing. Careful not to hurt her, he made love to her and afterwards, held her close against his body. Her back was to him and he could clearly see the tattoo.

With his finger, he traced the words, ‘Sweet D’s Angel’. "Sarah, no matter what happens with other people, you will ALWAYS be my angel. Nothing or no one will EVER change the way I feel about you. I love you with all my heart," and he began to sing

Sarah smiled as the tears rolled down her cheeks and she fell asleep in his arms, the feeling of safety restored once more.

Part 84        The Dance Index