Part 97
With Kevin gone, AJ collapsed on the bed and began to cry. He couldn’t take the pressures and demands of his life any longer.
Kevin had left the door between Howie’s and AJ’s room slightly ajar and they’d woken Sarah. She’d heard the whole exchange and now she moved into the room silently. She lay down on the bed beside AJ gathering him in her arms and holding him close as he cried. AJ held on to her desperate for someone to help him.
"God…Sarah…I can’t take it anymore," moaned AJ. "Help me!"
Sarah looked towards the door to see Howie standing there, his own tears streaming down his cheeks as he watched his best friend losing the last control he had. Howie knew AJ needed them more than ever now. He looked at Sarah and the unspoken words that they exchanged told her that he understood. He placed his hand over his heart, his sign to her when he was onstage to tell her he loved her, and went back into their room, leaving them alone.
After several minutes of crying, AJ choked out, "Why are you here?"
"Because you need me."
"I can’t do this anymore."
"What are you gonna do?"
"I need help. I’m gonna check into rehab. Will you go with me to tell the guys?"
"I need to get dressed first."
AJ suddenly realized that Sarah was wearing just Howie’s shirt and became uncomfortable. "Uh…does D know you’re in here?"
Sarah laughed at AJ’s uneasiness and said, "Yeah. He was at the door a few minutes ago. What’s wrong? You’ve seen me with less."
"Given what I did to you…god…Sarah, I’m sorry! I need to apologize to you…Howie…Nick…and Becca! Can you get her to come too?"
"Yeah. What else do you want me to do?"
"Let my counselor, Mama, and Ali know."
"Alex, I’m proud of you."
AJ smiled sadly, "I hurt you so bad. Thank you for believing in me."
"No problem."
AJ hugged her tight, "My Sweet Sarah…we’ve come a long way since last year."
"Yeah, we have. Go get a shower. You reek of Jack and it’s making me…."
Before she could finish, Sarah ran to the bathroom where she began to throw up. AJ hollered for Howie and then followed her into the bathroom where he held her hair for her.
"You’re having a tough time, aren’t you?"
Weakly, Sarah said, "Yeah."
Brushing her hair back, AJ said, "Sarah, if this is my child, I’m not gonna cause problems for you and Howie. I’ll do whatever you want."
"I know, Alex. I never doubted that. You need to get ready."
Howie came into the bathroom and Sarah moved into his arms. "Angel, you okay?"
AJ smiled at her. "She just got sick again. Sarah, I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve your understanding but thank you," and he placed a kiss on her forehead.
Sarah smiled, "Just get yourself better, Alex."
******
The entire group was called to Kevin's room that day at noon. He wasted no time beating around the bush. "Here's where we stand," he said matter-of-factly. "We're taking a hiatus for the next two weeks."
"Kev-" Nick began.
"Hear me out, Nick. The break in your hand was worse than we first thought, so you're under orders to heal and have therapy before resuming the tour."
"That's not true," Howie said.
"It's the official release that has already been sent out this morning. We sucked last night, and we have to get it together before we can go back onstage. Jive is doing as much damage control as possible, but we have two weeks to try and get our collective act together."
"I appreciate what you're doing, but I can't let you take the fall for this." A pale and subdued Alex stood in the open doorway facing his friends, sober for the first time in days.
All four men looked up to see Alex standing there holding on to Sarah’s hand and Becca behind him.
Nick sniped, "’Bout fuckin’ time you showed up!"
"That’s uncalled for, Nickolas," chastised Sarah.
Becca moved to where Nick was sitting as Nick growled, "Sarah, he RAPED
you and he’d have done the same to Bec if Howie hadn’t been there. How can
you stand there and defend him?"
"I’d do the same for you," said Sarah calmly.
"I’d NEVER do something that common!" spat Nick.
Becca spoke softly. "You don’t know what you’d do in Alex’s situation."
Becca’s words and her tone seemed to deflate Nick’s anger and he slumped back into the couch.
Howie spoke up, "I don’t expect any of you to understand or accept that Sarah and I stand behind Alex but you need to respect our decision. He stood behind us last year and now he needs us. What he did hurt both of us but we can get past that."
Kevin agreed, "Howie’s right. Bone, come on in and let’s talk."
Sarah was still beside him, holding on to his hand, and led him the rest of the way into the room. She gave him a hug and whispered, "They love you, Alex. Just tell them."
Alex held her tight and before releasing her, said, "Thank you."
There was an awkward silence as Sarah went to sit in front of Howie on the floor. She leaned back between his legs and he put his hands on her shoulders as he leaned over to kiss her.
Ali and Denise entered the room at the same time and when Alex saw them, tears began to flow. He took Ali’s hand and pulled her to him into a bear hug. "We need to talk after this," he whispered. She nodded her head ‘okay’ and then they sat together in a chair facing the others. Alex started, "All of this is my fault…"
Nick mumbled, "You got that right."
The others shot him a dirty look and Becca smacked him on the leg.
Alex went on. "Like I said, this is all my fault and I can’t let you guys take the fall for me. I need help," he choked out through the tears. He didn’t make any attempt to stop them or wipe them away as Ali rubbed his back. "I can’t do this anymore. The pressure…the demands…the schedule…it’s too much."
Alex stopped, unable to go on and Sarah said softly, "You can do this, Alex. Just tell them."
He looked at her. "Sarah….please…help," he begged.
"Are you sure?" Alex simply nodded his head and Sarah continued. "Alex has decided to check into rehab and Max is handling all the preliminary stuff now. He’s gonna need 6 weeks…minimum."
The others looked from one to another and then to Alex who was now sobbing uncontrollably as Ali held him close. Denise had moved to the chair with the couple and had her arms around the couple as she cried too.
Their hearts were breaking at the scene in front of them but they were also relieved that Alex had finally realized that he needed help. Howie held onto Sarah and Nick rested his head on Becca’s shoulder. They were all drained of emotion at this point…the stress having taken its toll on them as well.