A perfect lazy Saturday,
nothing planned - no chores that couldn't be put off until tomorrow.
Judging by the light that spilled intermittently through the
softly billowing curtains it was a going to be a beautiful day.
Xander ""Aaargh!!!"" Xanders cried and rolled off the sides of the bed. Both sides - multiple Xanders. ""It's YOU!"" Xanders said with twin looks of panic, met by identical deep brown eyes. As always, Suave-Xander recovered first. He stood, circled the bed and extended a hand to Sweet-Xander who was still trembling on the floor. Sweet-Xander looked up through long, dark lashes, pouting slightly, but tentatively took his doppelganger's hand. "What...Why....I....You..." Sweet-Xander gave up in exasperation and hung his head. "It's all right." Suave-Xander
said and hugged his double close. He thought of how many times
since Anya had left him - them, when he would have given anything
to hold someone or be held, and to hear those words. Willow and
Sweet-Xander's stomach sent up a warning growl that an offering should be made soon, interrupting Suave-Xander's introspection. Sweet-Xander shyly broke the embrace, his fingers lingering on Suave-Xander's muscular forearm. "We should probably get something to eat," he whispered, meeting his doubles level gaze. "I like the way you think."
Suave-Xander kept an arm loosely around Sweet-Xander's shoulder
and steered him toward the kitchen. They assembled a huge breakfast
consisting of an entire box of toaster waffles with brown and
"....right, what's with that?" Suave-Xander agreed before his double finished his thought. Their eyes met and they burst out laughing. They each wore the same thin, cut off drawstring shorts, with the same tear up the left outside seam which often let out the bits that were supposed to stay in. Before either could ask what they should do, they said. ""Giles."" "Let's shower first." Suave-Xander said then refrained from laughing at Sweet-Xander's the wild-eyed look of panic. "You go first, I'll clean up the kitchen." Three hours later the Xanders strolled the streets of Sunnydale, enjoying the day and meandering toward the Magic Box. They had decided that it would be easier to just show up, in the 'one picture is worth a thousand words' sense. Both wore cut-offs. Sweet-Xander wore the loose ones that had been in the outgoing laundry basket paired with a baggy, short-sleeved, bright orange and yellow striped shirt; Suave-Xander wore an old pair from high school. They were tight but not binding and, well, he had lost the coin toss. He had paired them with a black tank top Cordy had given him that he found in the same box. Sweet-Xander was wearing sunglasses with red lenses and silver frames. He stopped at a sidewalk display and handed Suave-Xander a pair of classic cheap-black-plastic shades. After watching his double slap his pockets and come up empty Suave-Xander said, "I got it." He pulled out 'their' wallet and asked, "You want anything?" Sweet-Xander handed him a yo-yo and bounced on the balls of his feet like a kid while he waited at the cash register. Suave-Xander put on the shades and fondly watched his other half gleefully play with their new toy. They were laughing out loud at
the babble that usually stayed internal, but that now flowed
stream-of-consciousness style. It was like meeting someone new,
who you felt as if you had known all your life. Obviously. It
was so They had discovered this the hard
way when trying to work around the apartment together. Suave-Xander
had snapped out with reflexive sarcasm and Sweet-Xander's eyes
had brimmed with tears. He had stumbled over an apology, stuttering
like Xander had in grade school. Suave-Xander was instantly contrite
and had pulled his double into his lap, stroking his hair and
murmuring words of endearment and apology. What had surprise
him most, The last time this had happened,
Xander had been glad they had reintegrated, especially before
Anya had talked him into anything. He wasn't completely inexperienced
with the concept - his summer of travel after graduation had
Now he was beginning to wonder what he had missed. They weren't really brothers, although they were both enjoying the amount of attention they were drawing as a good-looking set of 'twins'. Funny how they both had admitted, standing in front of the mirror while they got dressed, that yes, they were very attractive men. It was a long road from the skinny geek in high school to the hottie currently bounding around him. That thought was certainly a change of tune from just last week when he had stood alone in front of the same mirror sighing over his lack of companionship. Passing on that threesome had forestalled the sexual encounter of the Hellmouth variety that only magical cloning could offer, but the quick reintegration had also made him miss out on this. Just hanging out and getting to know himself - okay that sounded weird, but that was what kept them at the apartment for the extra hours. That and Suave-Xander suggesting that this was the perfect opportunity finish up the things they needed an extra set of hands for, like mounting that shelf and hanging drapes. They came through the door of the magic shop into the cooler, dimmer interior. Tara was working the counter; since Giles had not hired anyone to replace Anya full time she and Willow worked a couple hours each week. Grinning at the look on Tara's face they walked to the counter and said, ""Guess what happened to us?"" She was still gaping when the bell announced the arrival of Buffy and Dawn. "Hey Xander, Tara." Buffy said absently as she headed toward the training room. "And Xander." "Xander!" Dawn squealed like a fifteen-year-old spotting a member of 98 Degrees. "Xander! And Xander!" Buffy turned back and gaped along with Tara. Dawn was not nearly so dumbstruck.
"Oh my God! This is so cool! I usually miss all the good
Hellmouthy stuff!" She bounced around the two Xanders like
a terrier, squeezing their biceps, taking off their sunglasses
and standing "No!" Tara said to Dawn. Finally she managed to talk to Xander. "She wouldn't...she didn't...What happened?" ""Don't know."" They exchanged a look and a nod then Suave-Xander continued, "We just woke up this way." "So where's G-Man?" Sweet-Xander asked craning his neck to see if he could see the Watcher in the loft. "He...he's out of town for the weekend." Tara bit her lip. "He should be back Monday." "Where's Willow?" Buffy said coming out of her stupor. "She can fix this." ""No!"" "That is...we just wanted to know...we could wait for Giles.. It'll give us time to hang out...rent some flicks...you know, guy stuff." Sweet-Xander bounced and babbled, tugging on his dark locks. "Not that we don't trust Will." Suave-Xander added, looking first at Tara then at Buffy. "We just want Giles' opinion." "Willow should be here soon; she was tutoring in the computer lab." Tara said to Buffy, ignoring both Xanders. "I think it's great. Is it great? Is it like suddenly having a twin? If you guys have been like this all day, what have you been doing?" Dawn tugged both Xanders into the back and sat on the floor. "I think our day starts later than yours." Suave-Xander smiled down at the girl who was like a little sister to him. "Yeah." Sweet-Xander agreed joining Dawn on the floor. "But it is cool. We finish each other's sentences and he knew exactly what I needed handed to me while we were working around our place earlier." "You guys want anything to drink?" Suave-Xander asked. They both nodded and he headed to Giles' office and the sodas he kept for them in his tiny refrigerator. He heard Buffy on the phone to either Willow or Giles, explaining the situation - what they knew of it. Suave-Xander remembered that Willow had said being together was their natural state and it took magic to keep them apart. Almost as soon as Suave-Xander
had left the practice room a smoking blonde cyclone had bolted
through the back door. This time the vampire's smoke wasn't from
cigarettes but from almost immolating himself in the late "Dead man frying?" Sweet-Xander teased. He was instantly regretful as those piercing, intelligent, blue eyes turned on him and he knew, just knew that he was an unarmed man in any battle of the wits with Spike, especially without Suave-Xander. "What's this, pup? Demon bint dumps you and you take up following the nibblet around? Cor! Slayer know about this?" Spike circled them while he taunted them and stopped to lean against the frame of the door to the rest of the shop to add, "Maybe you oughta give up birds altogether, whelp. Considering some of the tales 'o terror I heard about you, blokes might be the best bet for you." "Might wanna try your own advice." The sexy whisper in the vampire's ear would have sent goose flesh racing in its wake had he had a pulse. Spike turned to see Xander. Not the everyday eye-blinding boy in clown attire, but a lean, sensuous creature showing a good bit of hard, tanned body. "Your track record isn't so impressive either, Fangless." Spike did a double take, then a
triple. He spun around and stalked around the two of them. Suave-Xander
set down the cans of soda, crossed to Sweet-Xander and gave him
a hand up. They both turned, keeping an eye on the Dawn broke the tableau by jumping to her feet and saying, "Isn't it great? Don't they look great? I missed it last time! I'm so happy I got to see it this time." Buffy came into the practice room. "Giles said do nothing until he returns. He doesn't even want us to research. I think he's afraid it will give Will ideas." Tara came in and said , "I closed the shop. I promised Mr. Giles I would close well before sunset while he's out of town." She walked over to the Xanders and said, "I talked to Willow, she's blaming herself. Would you, both of you, talk to her? She's coming over. Can you stay?" "We'll all stay, we can order dinner." Dawn said. Buffy looked like she was going to veto the suggestion but relented. It had been a while since they had spent some quiet time with the gang. Besides, it had also been a while since Dawn's Xander-crush had been so evident; she could store up mega teasing material. "Red do a spell on you?" Spike asked the familiar-looking Xander, who seemed to lack his usual bravado and appeared almost shy around the vampire. "Yeah, to put us together last time we got split. It worked...it just... unworked." The boy bit his full bottom lip and eyed his double. "Magic." The smooth new
Xander added with a languid shrug, "Who knows what affects
it? Could be the moon or someone in Illinois may have sneezed.
I'm sure this isn't Will's fault." His smile seemed to reassure
Tara that Spike was riveted by this new creature.
Not wanting the girls to notice, he turned his attention to the
Xander standing next to him. The boy shifted nervously from side
to side and watched, as everyone in the room's attention The new Xander saw the boy too and broke away from the girls, who were trying decide what to order for dinner. He glared at Spike when the vampire refused to back away from Sweet-Xander. "Hungry, little brother?" Suave-Xander returned the warm smile those words got him. He remembered that they had always wanted a big brother. This felt better than Dawn, who he had to share with Buffy. Sweet-Xander was his. Willow came just as the food arrived.
After being double-teamed by her best friend, and after Sweet-Xander
pointed that the food was getting cold so she had better forgive
herself, she decided to enjoy the time with both of them Buffy, in a practical moment, had brought the conversation around to the matter of what to call them. ""Xander."" they said. "You can't both be Xander." "But we are." Suave-Xander said "Lots of people have the same name, Buff." Sweet-Xander added. "It's too confusing." She declared. "It's our name." Suave-Xander
countered with a hint of steel resolve in his voice. Sweet-Xander
bit his lip, just knowing he was going to get dubbed with the
new name, or worse, called Xander, because hey, goofy Xander,
and "How about Alex?" Buffy suggested. ""No!"" Willow and Spike had joined in on the group 'no'. Willow because she knew it had parental connotations and Spike because, well, neither one was an Alex. Spike watched them argue over Alec and Al, Alexander and, of all names, LaVelle. Spike was getting frustrated. The boy was sticking close to his twin trying to defend his name and the vampire hadn't managed a moment alone with the dark-eyed beauty. He was grinding his teeth when Xander looked up at him pleading for a voice of reason. Spike said, "Bloody hell, Slayer. What is he, a pet? Your minion? You didn't just find him in the street. Let the boy keep his soddin' name. Between them they're the only two in the world who would choose to shorten a perfectly good name into 'Xander' anyway." Whether it was Spike's outburst
or Suave-Xander's aggressive refusal to have either of them renamed,
Buffy finally backed down. Spike watched the new version dividing
his attention between Buffy and Dawn. Red and her honey "Course I like your name, got you to keep it didn't I?" Spike leaned down and whispered. Oh, what a lovely confusion of emotions flitted across the boys expressive face - surprise, suspicion wonder and wait, was that respect? His scrutiny of the new Xander told him this sharp-eyed man hadn't missed his flirting with the boy. Oddly enough, that Xander seemed suspicious but not angry about Spike's attention to his double. The witches were taking Dawn home and going to stay with her while Buffy patrolled. Buffy vetoed the Xanders coming with her, explaining it was too dangerous in the state they were in. That statement had earned her equally baffled looks from the twins, but they didn't argue. Spike was getting tired of being refused every time he offered to patrol with Buffy so just said, "I'll see that the whelps make it home in one piece, Slayer, don't you worry." While Xander was securing the store and setting the alarm, Spike shadowed his Xander out onto the sidewalk. Like most of Sunnydale, this block was deserted after dark. There was no one to see him maneuver the boy back against a parking meter. No one to see him close in and take a firm grip on Xander's hips. He was perhaps an inch away from the boy's lips when he said in a singsong, "I know what you're thinking." Thanks to his undead vision Spike was treated to Xander blushing like a schoolgirl and once again lowering those long lashes over his big brown eyes. He closed the distance between their lips with a gentle, biting kiss. Nibbling along the lower lip that had been enticing him all night, Spike felt the boy hard and ready through the voluminous fabric of his shorts. He ran his hand down over that bulge and was rewarded by an open-mouthed moan, which his tongue was obliged to take advantage of. They had been groping each other for an immeasurable amount of time when Spike became aware of the tall, silent man watching them. Xander. The other Xander stood leaning against the front of the shop, smiling. Spike waited for him to protest or ridicule. Instead the man said, "As decorative as the two of you look all lusty and debauched, this isn't safe. Let's take this back to our place." "You serious?" Spike looked from the smirking man to the shyly smiling boy. "Sure." Xander said. Can you stay tomorrow too?" "Tomorrow?" Spike asked ""Giles won't be back until Monday."" * * * * * Later that night, after they had relinquished custody of their charge to her big sister, two girls were pointedly not talking about the Xanders. In a dorm room littered with spell books, Tara sat on the edge of their bed brushing her hair and watching Willow search through the crowded drawers of the dresser. After she started on the top drawer for the third time Tara said, "Tell me." "Tell you what?" Willow put her back to the dresser and nervously crossed and uncrossed her arms in front of her. "Tell me about what's got you so upset." She patted the spot beside her on the bed. Willow started pacing and said, "It was an accident." "Willow! You told me you didn't... you lied. To me, to everyone." Tara stood openmouthed. "I didn't...I...Xander means so much to me; he's been so lonely since Anya left. He thinks I don't see, but I see fine... He's lost and he won't talk to me and he can't talk to Buffy or Giles and I love him so much. It was just a little spell. It wasn't supposed to do anything really...exactly...it was just supposed to give Fate a nudge, you know. I mean, why can't Xander have someone? Someone good, someone who loves him and isn't ashamed of him like Cordy, and doesn't try to kill him like Faith and doesn't just take the orgasms and run like Anya. It was just a folk charm. Something to help him find the right lover. Okay maybe I made a teeny substitution and maybe I used a bit too much....." Willow's babble-mode was not slowing or showing any signs of stopping. "You lied to him. Why didn't you admit it? He has to be going out of his mind wondering why he suddenly.....lost cohesion." Tara shook the hairbrush to emphasis her point. "I know." Willow sighed
and sat on the bed all her energy seeping away "It's just...Xander
has a blind spot about magic. That whole demon-magnet thing,
I told you about that right? Well, there was another time in
high school, "No." Tara said, firmly brandishing her brush. "No?" Willow said in shock. Tara sat down next to her and put her arm around Willow's shoulders. "This isn't something you can get out of by being ubercute. I will forgive you on three conditions." "Three?" Willow looked over to see if Tara might relent then sighed. "What are they?" "First, you promise to wait for Mr. Giles before fixing this. Second, you write out, right now, exactly what you did in making and executing the spell - including research sources, and substitutions. And last," Tara's tone softened, "tell Xander, both of him, the truth." "You're right. I know you're right. I promise." Willow leaned her head on Tara's shoulder. She had never been able to lie as a child and was surprised how much better she felt after confessing. "Are you going to call him now?" Tara murmured while brushing a kiss against the silky red hair. "Over the phone? No. This is a conversation I'll have to come into bearing food." She got up and sat at her computer, and began to pull up her notes. "A lot of food." She sighed. ******** Back at Xander's place three bodies
were pressed so tightly together it was hard to tell where one
ended and the other began. Well, one lacked a pulse and any body
temperature, that kind of clued them into which one was Spike.
Spike had worried when the clothes
began to fly that once they were naked he wouldn't be able to
tell them apart. But he still thought of one as the brightly
clothed boy he had known for so long and the other sleek and
stylishly new one as a man. That didn't change once they were
tangled together. The boy was shy, as if fearing rejection; the
man knew what he wanted and seemed confident he would get it.
As the man slipped a third, well-lubricated finger inside him
Spike felt the boy shoot hot come across his stomach. Xander
leaned up to kiss him and when his double carefully removed his
fingers the boy stroked the ridges which morphed on Spike's brow.
The Xander in front of him waited until the Xander behind him
had slowly seated his entire length inside Spike before he squirmed
down to The sex went on until both humans were dazed and spent. Even as they drowsed, lightly draped over his unbreathing body, Spike was amused by their tandem touches. Every time he was sure they had nodded off one would lazily lick or nibble on the nearest part of his body. Gradually, shared, disjointed phrases tickled his ear as they plotted in stereo how to keep him chained to their bed to fulfill all their fantasies. Had Xander remained in one body the delicious babble would have been a guilty, hidden, inner monologue; having it bantered about the bedroom was a rare and ego-stroking experience. Spike fell asleep with the sound of languid laughter and teasing whispers, like a cross between summer camp and a brothel. ********* Suave-Xander woke for the second morning in a row wrapped around another body. He lay quiet with his eyes closed, just enjoying the sensation. It was nice. A man could get used to this. That was the problem. He had gotten used to Anya being there, had even let his guard down enough to hope that she might always be there. She had left him. No, she had left both of them. Judging by the body temperature and breathing this was Sweet-Xander in his arms. He spared a thought for Spike and hoped the vampire hadn't left, there were still quite a few things that he and his other half had been wanting to try before fatigue over took them. There wasn't enough hours in the weekend for them all but with the motivation of a willing Spike they could cover an impressive number. Sensing movement on the other side of the bed, Suave-Xander wondered how and when his double had switched places with the blond. Stretching, he prepared to calm Sweet-Xander down when he realized who he had been snuggling with. Opening his eyes, Suave-Xander was mesmerized by a wide, blinking pair of stunned blue orbs. Xander fell into the bluest blue he had ever seen. He wasn't sure how long he gazed into those eyes before he realized they were attached to a man. A man with honey blonde hair and the faintest dusting of freckles across the bridge of his nose, barely visible against clear porcelain skin. They were both pulled out of their rapt contemplation of each other by a threatening, all-too-near growl next to them. Pinning Sweet-Xander to the bed was a yellow-eyed, fanged, taloned, ridge-faced demon. Naked, it crouched possessively over the boy with its lethal hand resting over his heart. Its growls lowered in intensity as it cocked its head and sniffed tentatively in the direction of the stranger wrapped in Suave-Xander's arms. Sweet-Xander reached up tentatively to stroke the fierce-faced beast. "Spike?" The vampire looked down and buried his face in the crook of the boy's neck, seeming to drink in his scent. He raised his head and sniffed in the direction of the others then lowered it again this time centering in on the boy's armpit and groin. Then he leaned across the bed and smelled Suave-Xander and the stranger. Suave-Xander pulled the stranger closer and said, "Spike?" With a growl and in a blur to quick to follow, the beast grabbed the boy and pulled him into the darkest corner of the bedroom. "Spike," Sweet-Xander began to softly stroke the white hair of the beast. "Be careful, you don't want to set off the chip." "You okay, little brother?" Suave-Xander asked. "It's Spike...ah...who's that?" Sweet-Xander nodded at the stranger, who, while still tucked into Suave-Xander's embrace, was now gently running his index finger over the pulse point at his wrist. As Suave-Xander turned his questioning attention to the handsome young man, he looked up, blinked and said, "Oh! I'm Spike. Er...rather, part of Spike...William, if you will. I...this is a bit disorienting." His accent bore shades of Giles, which caused a guilty twitch in Suave-Xander's neither regions. "William died one hundred and twenty years ago. It takes both of you to be Spike, you've just got different qualities of Spikeness..." Suave-Xander reasoned. The soft spoken, all-too-human Spike tried to pull away from the naked man who was embracing him, but was stopped by the voice from the corner, "...like I got the Xander tact gene." Sweet-Xander finished for his twin still curled in the arms of the snarling demon. "Cut him a break, he's us yesterday morning." "Sorry." Suave-Xander whispered and nuzzled the neck of the blushing man. "Really. I got the inappropriate sense of humor." "So if you're William," Sweet-Xander speculated from his corner. He had been pulled into the lap of the growling demon which was now mirroring Suave-Xander's attack on human-Spike. "I guess you're," he turned and pressed his forehead against the ridged brow, "The Bloody." "I guess we both got that sense of humor." Suave-Xander amended. William watched in fascination as the snarling beast rolled the laughing boy onto the floor. Sweet-Xander lay sprawled and breathless in front of the crouching predator, eyes shining. He made no attempt to protect his vulnerable stomach, neck and groin. After the boy caught his breath he said, "Oh come on! You liked that." The demon morphed to a human face.
Even without the fangs and ridges this one seemed deadly and
volatile. The smile he offered the defenseless boy was cold and
might have been in anticipation of messy mayhem. His voice was
The boy rolled to his knees in a fluid motion and crawled toward the demon. "Oh, please. Talk more." He was rewarded with a rumbling laugh that spoke of wicked deeds and a plundering kiss. William gasped, feeling breathless for the first time in lifetimes. He looked wide-eyed at Xander, the Xander next to him, currently rubbing his cock between his now human thighs, and tried to speak. Nothing came out and he tried again, only to have his mouth invaded while a large calloused hand snaked around to take the results of his watching his own double and the other Xander firmly in hand. ****** Later, in the bathroom, wrapped
in a damp bath towel, the Spike who was human contemplated his
reflection. As odd as it was seeing himself look back from the
glass, it didn't come close to watching the strutting, cocksure
version of him that had been prowling the darkened apartment
for the last hour. So that was the picture he presented to the
world. Not bad. Pretty much exactly the image he had crafted
of the merciless, unrelenting killer. Emerging clean and refreshed from the bathroom Spike met Spike waiting for him outside the door. The demon morphed into his intensified game face and pressed the man back against the wall. He buried his face in his neck and his hands moved to search and lay claim to his slim muscular body. The bath towel dropped from his waist to the floor. "I..I beg your pardon but have you gone quite mad?" Spike asked himself. "You're me," the vampire snarled. Spike told himself he was not grateful he was chipped and that he hadn't just felt a rush of terror from being mauled by himself. "Exactly, you moron. While it is one thing to toss off in the crypt it is an entirely different matter to be groped by myself before I've had a chance to get dressed." Spike tried to glare menacingly at himself but it was impossible while light fingers and dark laughter ghosted along his naked skin. "Can I play?" The boy
bounced up. "Or take pictures? Oh, shit. Xander! Do we still
have the Polaroid? Get film. Lots of film!" After hollering
out to his double Xander looked sheepish as human-Spike shook
his head in fond Spike found it disturbing how well this wide-eyed innocent Xander seemed to get on with the most dangerous aspect of himself. "How much do you think we'll
need?" Xander asked, coming into the room. He stopped and
watched himself pressed between the two Spikes. He blinked, swallowed
and tried to speak. He shook his head and said "I should
go to the Human-Spike held out a hand and when Xander took it pulled him into the group hug. The group had too many evil members for the hug to remain just a hug and soon it was impossible to tell whose hands were where. Human-Spike was subtly trying to divest a Xander, it was hard to tell which one, of his draw string pants when the doorbell rang. After a four-way 'argh' one of the Xanders went to answer the door, while the other tried to dress the Spikes, or at least cover the naughty bits before the door-answering Xander let anyone in. ***** Willow and Tara had been almost invisible behind the many bags they bore. Sweet-Xander was bouncing excitedly and exclaiming over each treasure he discovered. Not only did she bring all their favorite junk food but the girls had stopped by the Greek bakery and the candy shop. Willow was watching the Sweet-Xander like she had a lot riding on this, while Suave-Xander crossed his arms and waited for the other shoe to drop. Willow looked over at him, nervously
biting her lip. Her eyes brimmed with tears and Xander regretted
his menacing posture. He almost forgave her right then and there
before she even confessed. If it had just been him and Xander
"Spill, Will." Suave-Xander said. "Hey, you rhymed." Sweet-Xander laughed opening the bag of jelly babies Willow had bought at the import store. "Xand." He softly reclaimed his double's attention. "Willow knows why we split." Sweet-Xander's face was stunned
confusion, followed quickly by doubt and then he quite quietly
began to cry. Suave-Xander instantly gathered him into his arms
gently rocking him and whispering 'sshh' and 'it'll be okay'
over "She lied to us." Sweet-Xander whispered in shock and disbelief. "She's sorry," Suave-Xander said and watched as his twin peeked out at their best friend. Willow wrung her hands and confessed to everything. In one continuous sentence she not only detailed why she had done the spell, how much she loved him, what she thought had gone wrong and how she thought it could be put right - but also every less than aboveboard thought or action she had had or done since they were six. Suave-Xander got up and left Sweet-Xander to comfort the tiny witch. He went into the bed room and slid his hand around vampire-Spike's waist. "You heard?" "Enlighten those of us without the demon senses," the other Spike asked. He wore a dark blue pair of Xander's drawstring pants and a light blue sweater that had never looked that good on Xander. Having split while naked had left the Spikes arguing which one would get their trademark ensemble. The fangs had settled that debate, but human-Spike seemed to be holding his own in the sarcasm department. "Willow's here. Guess." Xander tightened his hold on the demon fearing he would overreact. "Bloody Hell!" Human-Spike stalked out of the room, slamming the door. Xander tried to follow but Spike reversed their positions in the blink of an eye. "Let go." "He won't hurt her. Come on, Pet, let's shag." Spike pushed him forward. "No! Think! The chip!" Xander struggled, to no avail, so he decide to use reason. "Spike, Walsh designed that chip for a vampire. If it goes off in a human brain you could end up dead or a vegetable! Remember what I told you; if he dies, you die." "Bloody Hell!" Spike bolted from the room. ***** It took two Xanders, a witch and
a Slayer to calm down human-Spike. After demon-Spike had determined
that his double was just going to rip the witch apart with his
tongue he had settled back to watch the show. Buffy had come
It was Spike. Giles-speaking, lightly flushed, oh, my, God, his-eyes-really-are-that-blue Spike. Pissed off Spike. Incredibly human Spike. So why was one of the Xanders stroking his hair while the other rocked the tearfully apologetic Willow? "How was I to know this would happen?" she wailed. "I cast the spell on a sachet. I tucked it between your mattress and box springs. You had to pick last night of all nights..." The Spikelike Spike snickered. Xander, the Willow-comforting Xander said, "You couldn't know...I...please Will, don't cry." The Spike-wrapping Xander said, "Of course you're angry, that's normal, just be careful, remember the chip." "Didn't bring any blood with you, did you, Slayer?" Spike asked. "Spike, how did this happen? I think I get Xander's split but if Willow cast the spell on his bed how did you..." She looked adorably confused and Spike contemplated drawing this out. It was his double's Xander, who by now had pulled his frustrated human counterpart into his arms and was rocking him in a gentle side to side manner, that drawled, "Oh come on, Buff, you're not a natural blonde - you can figure this one out." Buffy cocked her head and put one and one together and came up orgy. "But there were already two of you last night..." The boy snickered. The other Spike turned in Xander's arms and added, "Actually, there were three of us last night." "And four of us this morning." Spike leered at the stunned Slayer. "How come?" The boy asked, finally giving the tear streaked witch to her girlfriend and bouncing over to Spike. "How come there were only four of us and not six of us this morning?" "It's not a bleeding photocopier, Xander." Spike morphed to game face, pulled the boy close and began to tickle him. He had found this the best method of torture for the boy and it didn't set of the chip. He felt all eyes in the room riveted to the sight of the breathless boy pleading for him to stop. Just before Xander's gasping laughs turned to tears Spike pulled the boy against him and purred. Buffy gaped. She stood first watching human-Spike close his eyes and lean his head back onto the broad shoulder of her friend. Xander tightened his arms about the honey blonde man whispered in his ear. Then she look toward the other Xander who, at the moment, probably couldn't stand without Spike holding him up. Holding Xander against him while the vampire purred and licked the boy's neck. She shook herself and asked Willow, "Are you sure it won't? Split them more?" "It should be safe. It didn't work that way on Xander." The red-head looked defeated. Tara held her hand and stroked her arm. "So, what, we just leave them like this until Giles gets back?" Buffy shook her head, not liking the non-slayage solution. Willow shrugged and the girls turned their attention back to the males. "We'll be fine." Suave-Xander said, "Have a lot to do, just need to make a blood run and then we'll be MST3King the rest of the weekend." "Xander, Spike...er Xanders and Spikes, not to go all Slayer on you but it is really too dangerous for any of you to just be roaming around. You should stay here until Giles comes back." "We appreciate the concern, Buff, really but we need some stuff." Suave-Xander said. "I'll get it." Buffy said firmly. "Come on, Xand, this is serious. Giles will be back soon." "Well, we need blood." Suave-Xander said. "And lube." Spike leered, finally lifting his face from the boy's neck. "And ice cream." Sweet-Xander added. "I would like a pair of trousers, that fit." Human-Spike spoke to the Slayer directly for the first time. She stood studying him long enough for Suave-Xander to say, "Trust me, you won't need pants." "TMI," Buffy said, rounding up the witches and herding them toward the door. "I'll put the stuff outside the door, ring the bell, and run." As soon as the door closed Spike said, "Think she'll really buy the lube?" "We should have asked for condoms," Suave-Xander snickered. Human-Spike turned in his arms and regarded him suspiciously. "What?" Suave-Xander said. "You think if the positions were reversed that she wouldn't have sent us for feminine hygiene products?" ****** The End |