There and Back Again

By: Ranchi

 

* note*- I took great pride in writing this story about my dear sweetie Vegeta, doing one of my favourite hobbies, which is obviously shopping.  If you have any comments or complaints, or any ideas, e-mail me at ranchi@dbzmail.com ,  and thanks!

 

 

It was a wonderful morning to be a human.  Waking up, smelling the fresh air blowing her face, and the sun shining through her stringy, blue hair, it was all so pleasant.

 

Bulma was having a wonderful time staring out the window.

She gazed out at the world below, from her window at the top of the Capsule Corp. building.  It seemed as though nothing really mattered- only her.

 

As the magic touched her face, again and again, she felt nothing could ruin this moment.

Then, there was a grunt. 

“What are you dong?  Why did you open the drapes? Close them at once!” cried the arrogant prince.

 

Bulma ignored her husband’s (well, technically, it is her boyfriend, there are no records of them actually getting married, and I never saw a ring.) plea.

She smelled the fresh, spring air, and decided that they were going to have some fun today.  Something that Vegeta doesn’t normally do, she thought.

 

         “Hey, honey.  Guess what?”

         “…Mmmm?…”  He replied in a grunt.

 

She smiled and turned around, her bright, blue eyes, shining.

         “Today, we’re going shopping!” cried Bulma.

         “What? What?  Are you serious? “ He sat up, abruptly. 

The look upon his face was fear.  Terror.  Horror.  Shopping wasn’t going to be a joy ride.  He, Vegeta, was the prince of all saiyans.

A pride not to be forgotten.  If he was to embark on a shopping trip, he would become the laughing stock of his race.

 

What would the great warriors of the past think?  His father? Kakkarot?

He knew for sure what his response would be.

 

“NO!  If you take me on one of your female social activities, then I will blast you through the sky!” he cried, now standing out of the bed sheets, wearing his pink boxers with white tank top.

 

         “If you DON’T come,” Bulma threatened.  “Then, I won’t cooke for you,”

         “I’m a warrior, I can fend for myself.  Have you forgotten that?”

         “Fine.  If you don’t come, no sex for you!”

Oh dear.  She said that.  This was what Vegeta didn’t want to hear.

This was something that he couldn’t live without.  Damn it!

 

“So? What’s your answer, sexy?” she asked.

Vegeta was surrounded with thought.  What was he to do?  No sex and still keep his warrior pride?  Or was he just going to live through the humiliation and still have many nights of passion from the hot woman?

 

         “Fine. I’ll go with you…” He mumbled.

         “Pardon me, hon?  I didn’t quite catch that.”

         “I SAID, TAKE ME ON YOUR LITTLE ADVENTURE.  But for today, only today.”

         “Oh, and I know you’d never, ever blast me through the sky!” said Bulma, winking

 

“I’ll make some nice breakfast, you get dressed nicely.  And, when we come back…” she smiled and left the room.

 

“I, Vegeta, Prince of the royal planet Vegeta, have just been threatened by the one I love.  Can this be? What has happened to me?” he thought to himself.  But, he thought of what he agreed to.

“Shopping, hmmm,” he said, grouchily.  “Trunks!”

 

Trunks, the perky little saiyan and human boy, came eagerly into the room.

He was dressed in his green gi, and was for once excited to hear his father say his name, without insulting him.

 

         “Trunks, how does your mother…well, you know…”

         “Gross, dad!  I’m not supposed to know that!  You’re the one who…”

         “Shut up! I’m talking about shopping!”

Trunks fell silent.  Completely silent.

         “You’re in shit, dad. Ha, I’d hate to be you!”

Anger flickered in Vegeta’s eyes.  How could he insult his own father like this?

         “How dare you? Have I fathered a son who has no respect for me?”

         “No, but you’re in trouble.  Mom will kill you shopping.”

         “If she attempts to, I’ll…”

         “NO, dad!  Shopping is natural in women.  They just like to do it, like sex for guys.”

“Oh, so, she enjoys it as much as she enjoys time with me?” Vegeta asked curiously.

 

“Well, how loud does she scream?” asked Trunks.

“Shut up, boy, that’s not of your concern.  How does mom shop.”

“Like you fight.  All the way, never giving up.  Your toast. You’ll try on the whole mall if she forces you.  And the worst part is, you have to give in.”

 

The thought made him shudder.  Absolute fear filled his entire body.

He knew he could never win a war in this field.  He could never possibly harm his wife.  That wasn’t good manners, he’d never hear the end of it from Goku, or Kakkarot.

 

         So, he took a nice, hot shower.  And he thought about what he had just agreed to do.  He thought about Trunks.  He thought about everything.

And Bulma.  How could he not think about Bulma?  She was just so, just so “special”.

 

It was times like this that made Vegeta miss his old style, never concerned about bathing, eating was a hunt, annd living was a survival game in itself.

And now, his new life wasn’t like this at all.

He had everything he could ever wish for at his fingertips.  It was just as it used to be.

 

He heard the voices;

“Here Prince Vegeta, take this shirt, it was sent from the Princess of Arlia.”

“Prince, can you please eat all of this food?  We wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”

 

He smiled.  Well, it wasn’t all that different.  And now, he had a son he could spoil and train as well.  It was all too familiar.  He grabbed onto the bottle of “Herbal Essences” and began to hum the song that was played in the commercial.

 

His shower had finished.  Nice and long, just the way the Briefs had hated it.

They were the ones to pay the bills, because Vegeta wasn’t bright enough too work, and nor was he willing to.

 

He searched his closet, and he noticed something.

Bulma had way more clothes than he.

But why?  He was a prince, he was much more superior than his wife.

So, he grabbed a grey shirt,  some “board’, shorts, as Trunks called them, and he reached for his shoes.  He looked “cool”, his son had told him many times.

Was it good to look cool? 

 

Vegeta was a little bit angry that his wife had more clothes than he did, but he didn’t let it bug him.  He headed for the elevator and pressed “K” for kitchen, where he was headed.

 

Bulma was there, waiting.  She was wearing a red tank-top with a “Capsule Corp.” symbol across the chest.  Her jeans were tight around the waist and thighs, and they flared around the ends.  She had runners that were silver and blue, and they had an “S” on the sides.  Skechers, noted Vegeta.

His wife had style, she walked around, and Trunks said she was “cool”.

 

As soon as she saw Vegeta, she smiled.

 

         “Did Trunks dress you up again?”

Vegeta nodded.

 

         “You look cute!” she commented.

He blushed.

 

So, he sat down to eat a mere three plates filled with ham and eggs.

 

         “Is this all?” he asked. “Because, I can eat more.”

         “No, that’s for Trunks.  You’re over there.” She pointed to a table filled with plates.

 

         “Better.” He said.

 

They ate a lovely meal, and Vegeta was satisfied.  As he belched out his food, he noticed that Bulma was staring at him.

 

         “What’s wrong?”

         “Your clothes.  They’re all the same.  We’re going to get you some new ones.”

Vegeta couldn’t help but smile.  He realized that finally, once again, the attention would be focused on him, and he would become just as “cool” as ever.

 

 

As he sat at the table, thinking, thinking hard.  What would the other warriors thought if he went shopping with his wife?  Of course, he’d be considered a “wuss”.

A weakling, by all means.

 

But if they insult him, then there was always the option of blowing his head off.

Always that option, if need be.

 

Soon, it was time to head off.  The three of the family members, (Trunks, Bulma and he) loaded into the capsule car.

They buckled up, and they sat there in silence.  It was very awkward.

 

Bulma was headed towards Chi-Chi’s house, to drop off Trunks there.

As she waved goodbye, she smiled, and then turned to Vegeta with a wicked look in her eyes.

Vegeta was afraid.  It was scary to see his wife look like this.

 

         “Now, dear.  We have FUN!” she roared.

Just before she started the engine, Vegeta could hear Trunks tell Goten, his best friend a few words that caught the father’s ear.

 

“Where are your parents going, Trunks?”

“My dad’s going shopping with my Mom.” Responded Trunks.

“God bless him.” Said Goten.

 

They both looked up and said a little prayer before running off to play.

Vegeta was uneasy.

 

*     *     *

The mall was humungous.  Enormous.  Gargantuan.

Vegeta, for once, felt a little safe.   He wasn’t as uneasy as he would have thought he would be.

Perhaps because he was used to big things.

His house, his wife’s wallet, his fighting power, Bulma’s  chest…

 

He stared in amazement at everything there was, and he began to charge to the first store that sold men’s attire was.  Right in front of his eyes, he began to pick out things that were matching, and he decided that money wasn’t a factor, because he had the richest wife in the world, and so, she should be able to afford it.

 

He bought out everything that suited him (nearly the entire store).  Bulma watched, wide-eyed, and she was incredibly proud of her husband. 

 

*     *     *

 

He bought a lot of stuff.  Just a lot of stuff in general, but mainly clothes.

Bulma tried to carry the bags with him, but it would take a lot of effort to do so.

She let Vegeta carry them all.  He seemed for once, happy.

 

After shopping, when they went to pick up Trunks…

 

“And, so, he bought almost the entire mall!” cried Bulma.

“Really? Well, it’s not like you can’t afford it!” snarled Chi-Chi.  “I wish my husband was like that…”

 

Bulma smiled, and then, she grabbed Trunks by the back of the shirt and whispered in his ear, “Go get your father before Chi-Chi explodes!”

 

It turns out that Vegeta was outside, attempting to train Goten, and he wasn’t having much luck.  Goten was just doing the opposite, and barely dodging the prince’s ki blasts. 

Bulma went outside, and motioned for him to come here.

 

She said this to him:

“We’re leaving Trunks here, and then we’ll go home and try on your new clothes.”

 

Vegeta nodded.

“Make me a good meal, then we’ll try on the clothes.”

 

They headed home.  After hours and hours of trying on clothes, Vegeta was satisfied.

“This was fun,” said Bulma “We should do it again!  See, shopping isn’t so bad!”

“Well, no, not really.”

“Now, what do we do?  Do you want to eat?  We can go back to the mall, and we can return the clothes that you don’t like.”

 

“Well, I like them all.  But, I don’t feel like a warrior.”  He commented, grunting.

He looked at the amount of bags of clothes they had purchased.  He stared, there were piles and piles of clothes, and he was beginning to become uneasy.

What kind of warrior was he?  Buying clothes, shopping.  He turned a bright pink, and he couldn’t help but feel feminine.

Bulma watched and then giggled a bit.

 

“Well, honey, I think you’re a warrior…”