It was over. My life, my joy, my reason for living. Ended, just as fast as it began. It was my fault though, and I'll never forget that. I always knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, but I couldn't come to grasps with that idea. We had always been together, and the thought of us not being, made that uneasy feeling form in my stomach.

We went our separate ways, and to this day, I regret letting her go. At first I didn't let her leave me, I strayed along, hoping that she would allow me follow her. She did too, trying to hide the tears she cried at night, even though she knew they would go away as soon as I did. I never really understood why she cried, I just knew that she did. I think a part of her never understood it either, but what did I know? I was just a man who thought he was in love.

Love? What was love to me anyway? Someone to share my emotions with, someone to kiss goodnight, someone to always be there for me... I was all of those things, but she wasn't. She meant the world to me, but to her, I was only a special part of her past, which she pushed aside as soon as she began to realize things she hadn't before.

I wasn't as important to her anymore, yet she still had remained my top priority. Trying to talk to her was like talking to a wall. She was always running off to her little fantasy world, trying to get as far away from her troubles as possible.

That's when it hit me. Her troubles were me. I hadn't been the most faithful boyfriend, and I could see why it was hurting her to stay with me. I had changed though! There was this rocky period in my life where I didn't know right from wrong, but those days had ended. I was a better person, but I suppose It was too late for her to believe me. I had to leave her, so she could live her life in the happiness she wanted to.

"Bulma," I remember saying to her, "I have to tell you something."

She just looked at me funny, and replied, "What is it Yamcha?

"I... I don't know how to say this, but I..." I had tried not to stumble over these words, and I had practiced and rehearsed them, but it didn't seem to help. This was the hardest thing I ever told her. "Bulma... I love you. I said it. It was done.

She just looked at me, her eyes slowly filling up with tears. She opened her mouth to speak, but promptly closed it again. I could tell she was struggling to keep her tears from streaming down her face, but she just let them all go.

I figured she was crying from happiness, but as she began to speak, I knew differently. "Yamcha..." She stopped. Why did she stop? All I wanted was for her to love me back. Couldn't she just say she did and put me out of my misery?

But she wasn't mine anymore, her heart didn't belong to me. Now and then I ask myself, was she ever really mine?

When we were kids, we both knew what we wanted. She wanted a boyfriend, ANY boyfriend... I wanted to forget my fear of girls. After I got to know her, those fears seemed to fade away like a bad nightmare.

She was my first love. I guess back then I figured that meant she was my true love as well. I guessed wrong. Sure, we were fine for years. She seemed to love me and I loved her back. She was my world. Too bad she doesn't feel the same way now as she did then.

Now... Now I don't know what to do. But, I think my mind is set. I will never love again. I can't take the heart-ache, and I can't take the pain. I must lock my heart away, so no other person can ever touch it! I can't afford to lose anymore. I can't afford to love...

Puar says I've been acting strange. She says I'm having 'frequent mood swings' and have been 'treating people poorly'. I don't care. Nobody knows what's happening to me, and my broken heart.

I guess my life is really over. Without Bulma I feel this longing, this strong desire for companionship that I will never have again. I guess I'm destined to die alone, in a world where everyone finds someone except for me.

I hate love. I hate everything, but most of all, I hate him. Him. Vegeta, you bastard, I hate you more than anything. Words can not express how I feel about you, you worthless baka. I swear to Kami-sama if you hurt her, you'll be dead.

Maybe one day I will love again, but I doubt it. Who could ever love an old, retired baseball player like myself? Who knows though, who really knows...

Goodbye Bulma, my love. Be happy with your new husband. I'm sure he's everything that I could never be.