Easy Money
Part 3



(When the scene opens, it is early morning in Android 17 and Android 18’s hotel room;
it’s in shambles from their quarrel the night before. Several holes in the wall, one wall
missing, no furniture in tact; and there stands Android 18, among the wreckage, in her
new outfit ready to go to the contest.)
Android 18: Hey 17! Where’d you go? I want to leave! This place is depressing. Come
on!
Android 17: Hey 18! Out here! (is on the balcony) 
Android 18: (joining him) Hm. What were you looking at?
Android 17: Nothing. I just thought I saw something flying past here. It probably wasn’t
anything. Let’s go. (begins to fly away)
Android 18: Hold on for a minute 17! (grabs her other outfit and her purse) Okay. Now
we can go. (flies after him; thinks) “Wow, 17’s kind of paranoid today. I don’t blame him
though. He went through more than I did....”
Android 17: You’re quiet. What’s wrong? You fall asleep?
Android 18: No. What time did you have to be at the tournament anyway?
Android 17: (shrugs) They can not tell me what to do. They are lucky I agreed to be in
their contest; I’m the only thing making it interesting.
Android 18: (laughs) 17. You’d better win today.
Android 17: It’s already won.
(The two land by a side entrance of the arena that isn’t in use. They then go their seperate
ways)
Android 18: You’d better look for me in the crowd. We’re going to have to find each
other somehow when this thing is over. 
Android 17: Stay out of trouble; you can’t have any fun without me. It wouldn’t be fair.
Android 18: Try to win fast. I’m bored already. (Android 17 enters the building and
begins to look for where contestants are supposed to go. 18 enters the arena to look for a
place to stand. She passes a little boy with purple hair by a vending machine. The boy is
trying to put his money in, but he’s too short. So he just keeps jumping.)
Android 18: (murmurs something under her breath about how pathetic humans are and
then approaches the child) Need some help?
Little Boy: No. I can do it myself. (goes back to his jumping; he isn’t getting any closer)
Android 18: (rolls her eyes) Well okay. (continues on her way for a minute and then she
sees a familiar face; thinks) “Hm. I have files on that guy over there; he’s Yamcha. I’d
best avoid him if I don’t want him annoying me the entire contest. I’ll just stay over here
until he leaves.” (attention returns to the little boy) Are you sure you don’t need help?
Little Boy: Yes I am sure! My daddy is a fighter! I’m going to be one too! I can’t let a
stupid candy machine beat me! (Android 18 sits down on a cement bench a few feet away
from the candy machine) Who do you think you are, my baby-sitter? Go away!
Android 18: You say your dad’s a fighter, right? If he’s as cute as you are I couldn’t see
him being very tough.
Little Boy: (stops his trying to put the money in the machine and clenches his fist) YOU
TAKE THAT BACK!
Android 18: Kay. (takes the little boy’s money from his hand while he’s distracted and
puts it in the machine for him) There. Humans are so illogical. Now, what kind do you
want?
Little Boy: (sulks for a moment then points at the candy he wants) I didn’t need your
help.
Android 18: Well you got it anyway. (candy doesn’t come out after she hits the button) 
Little Boy: Aww! Its broken! (kicks the machine) Come on! Work! (gives up)
Android 18: Mind if I try?
Little Boy: Try if you want to, but girls can’t hit.
Android 18: (humoring him) Well, okay. If you say so. (punches straight through the
machine and crumbles the wall behind it from the impact; money and candy begin
pouring out of the machine; it has almost collapsed into two)
Little Boy: Wow! Cool! (takes a few dozen candy bars) You want one?
Android 18: No, thanks.....(stands up and looks around; doesn’t see Yamcha anymore, to
her relief) So where’s this dad of yours?
Little Boy: He’s here somewhere. He told me to get away from him or he’d make me
sorry, but he didn’t say I couldn’t come back. Hey! What’s your name anyway?
Android 18: Eighteen.
Little Boy: That’s a number, not a name!
Android 18: Can’t it be both?
Little Boy: I guess it can.....My name is Trunks.
Android 18: (thinks) “Trunks? Why’s that name sound so familiar? Oh well. It must be
common.” 
Trunks: Come on! You can help me find my father! Just don’t get lost in the crowd!

Cut to Android 17

Android 17: (in a room similar to the one he was in yesterday, waiting for the tournament
to begin)
Sammy: Hey! Remember me?
Android 17: Unfortunately.
Sammy: (laughs) You’re funny! Is your cute friend with you today?
Android 17: What cute friend? I just have 18. And there’s nothing cute about her.
John-Jimmay: (cutting in to their conversation) Hey you, city slickas! Hope yer ready ta
lose! I gut ma kin folk in dis ‘ere contest! Dat’s cousin Jimbo! And dat’s Jimjo. And dat’s
Bubba-Bob and John-Jimmay Jo. Weez da strongest guys in dese parts---
Android 17: Hm. That doesn’t speak very well of these parts then.
John-Jimmay Jo: Hey! Citay slicka! Don’t you be sayin’---
Large Man: OUT OF MY WAY! (shoves John-Jimmay and walks through to the other
side of the room)
Android 17: Who was that?
Sammy: That’s Gregorio; he’s a student of the great Hercule Satan. Gregorio is favored
to win this year.
Android 17: “Gregorio. That’s the name of the brother of the girl who told us about this
contest. Too bad I’ll have to make a fool out of him....----”(thoughts interrupted)
Jimjo: Hey! Did y’all hear? Git the kinfolk tagether! Hercule’s acomin’! 
John-Jimmay & his kinfolk: YEEEHAW!!! (all run out to see Hercule)
Sammy: Wow!! I’ve never actually seen Hercule in person before! (starts to go but stops
and turns to 17) Aren’t you coming?
Android 17: No thank you. If I want to see big dumb apes I’ll go to the zoo.
Sammy: (runs after Bubba-Bob) What apes is he talking about?
Jimmay-Jo: I dun’t ave any idear what hez talkin abot, citay slicka.
Bubba-Bob: Stick ta yer own kind, citay slicka. (pushes Sammy; Sammy falls over)
Sammy: You’ll be sorry you were mean to me when you lose to me in the talent
competition! I’m rapping to Men in Black!
Bubba-Bob: What, I say, What ya talkin bout boy? Thar ain’t no talent ‘ere! This be bein’
a tough fella contest.
Sammy: What?!?
Android 17: (watched them hatefully) “Idiots. Why can’t the world be all androids?”
Gregorio: MOVE!!! The World Champion of Martial Arts has a schedule to keep!
Hercule: (coming in 17’s direction) HA-HA HA!! Cool it, Gregorio!! Gotta love my
fans!! Excuse me, I’ll give you all autographs after the contest. Gotta get to the press box!
Yeah! Who do ya love?? (bumps into Android 17) Hey, outta my way, kid. I said
autographs AFTER the contest!
Android 17: What did you say? (Hercule looks a little nervous from the cold in 17’s
voice) I am not a kid and I do not appreciate being referred to as one. And why would
anyone want your autograph? You’ve never done an important thing in your life.
Hercule: Hey, you listen! I’m Hercule, the great hero who defeated Cell! How’s that for
important?
Android 17: Hm. Like anyone really believes you beat Cell---
Hercule: (grabs 17’s shoulder) Hey, knock it off, kid. You’re making me look bad!!!
Android 17: I am not a kid!! (punches Hercule; he goes flying into a wall; there’s a gasp
from the crowd)
Bubba-Bob: Did y’all see that? That tiny feller hit Hercule!
Sammy: See?!?! I told you that guy was strong!!
Hercule: (leaps to his feet) HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!! FOOLED YOU!!!
Gregorio: (laughs) What a kidder! You don’t think a little guy like that could touch
Hercule, do you? No one can pratfall like Hercule!!!
Jimmay-Jo: Hyuk-hyuk! Dat Hercule!!
(crowd laughs; 17 is enraged)
Android 17: Thats it. I’m out of here....(stopped by one of the Supervisors)
Supervisor: Not to upset you, sir, but we have had people in the past be disqualified for
fighting during our contest. Please don’t cause another scene like that or we’ll have to
ask you to leave!
Android 17: I wouldn’t have had to make a scene if he wouldn’t have---(cut off by
announcer)
Announcer: (from tournaments) All contestants, please report to inside the arena. The
competition is about to begin.
Supervisor: You’d better go!
Android 17: Fine. I’ll take care of the world champion after the contest is over.
Hercule: (thinks) “Oh, no! If I didn’t know better, I’d say that guy was as strong as the
guys that defeated Cell! I’d better sneak out before anything else happens! (scans crowd
for a way to escape and notices Vegeta watching; does a double take) Now I KNOW he
was there when they beat Cell! I’m not taking any chances!!!” HEY EVERYONE! LET’S
PLAY A GAME WHILE WE WAIT! I CALL IT THE CHAMP SAYS!
Crowd: (cheering) Go Hercule! You’re the best Hercule!
Hercule: Ok! The Champ says, (thinks for a minute “I’d better make sure they’re
listening”) Spin around in circles!
Crowd: (all spin)
Hercule: Okay, stop.
Crowd: (some stop, some don’t)
Hercule: Gotcha! I didn’t say the champ says! Okay, the champ says stop!
Crowd: (stops spinning)
Hercule: Now, the champ says look over there! (points)
Crowd: (looks over there; scattered people talk) Wow, I wonder what we’re looking at.
Gee, when’s Hercule going to tell us to look back? (Hercule climbs over one of the walls
surrounding the arena to the outside while everyone is distracted)
Announcer: ALL RIGHT! WHO HERE IS READY FOR THE 9TH ANNUAL TOUGH
FELLAR CONTEST TO BEGIN????
Crowd: (turning towards announcer now; cheers) YAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Announcer: We will be starting in just a few minutes!! Who will be given the title Tough
Fellar for the next year???? We’ll just have to find out!!! (not into microphone) I never
should’ve agreed to do this thing. This is degrating.
Android 18: (in the crowd, still outside, with little Trunks) “Looks like I’m not going to
be able to watch the first round. Well, that’s all right. We all know who’s going to win.”

Cut back to contestants inside

Announcer: Our first event is the Punch Pad! The object of it is to hit the Punch Pad as
hard as you can! Then our master computer will say who is the strongest! Ready??? Our
first contestant is---
Android 17: Why even bother watching all these losers---(begins scanning the crowds for
18)
Gregorio: YO! Gimme that mic, nerd!!! (takes the mic from the announcer) HEY
PEOPLE!!! WHO HERE IS READY TO SEE ME WIN???
Android 17: (snatches the microphone from Gregorio and returns it to the announcer)
Quit holding up the line. I want to collect my prize money before I’m old!
Gregorio: Why you little---
Supervisor: Boys, boys, no fighting!!
Gregorio: Fine. We’ll settle this in the competition! 
Announcer: Our first contestant is GREGORIO! He took a year off from the contest last
year to train with the Martial Arts Champion of the World, Hercule!! He won the this
contest two years ago!
(Gregorio smacks the punch pad and gets a 300)
Gregorio: (to 17) You’re the next thing I smack, pretty boy!
(John-Jimmay & his kinfolk all take their turns. Not one of the six cracks 100; the next
contestant steps up)
Announcer: Our next contestant is Killa!!! He frequents the World Martial Arts
Tournaments!
Killa: Manwahdhfs---contest--manawnama---gonna win...(punches the pad and gets a
200)
Announcer: OH! That was a good one! Our eighth contestant is last year’s champion, Phil
N. LaBlank!  Oh! A 300! Impressive! We have a tie! We might need a tie breaker--
Gregorio: I bet he cheated....
Announcer: OKAY! Our next contestant is Android 17! Uhmmm, and we don’t really
have any information about him, so we’ll just let his actions do his talking!
Android 17: Thanks. I don’t like long introductions. (punches the pad; steam shoots out
and the computer makes some unhealthy sounds; it scores him at 499) Huh, that’s it?
Maybe I didn’t hit it hard enough...
Announcer: (in shock) Oh, no! That was plenty hard!
Supervisor: Isn’t the computer only calibrated to handle a hit of 400?
Another Supervisor: You know, I’m not sure. Well it stopped making weird noises.
Announcer: AND NOW, our final contestant is Sammy!
Sammy: (takes microphone for a minute) Remember ladies, I’m single! (gives the
microphone back and punches the pad; it gives him a 500)
Supervisor: Oh, no! The computer is ruined! I think it wanted to give him a 50!
Another Supervisor: We have to go by what the computer says! One event won’t mater,
right?
Supervisor: So Sammy wins.
Announcer: (not in microphone) Well if you say so...(into microphone) THEN THAT
MEANS SAMMY IS OUR WINNER!!!
Sammy: YES!!!! I WON!!!!!!!! I CAN’T WAIT TO GET MY MONEY---
Announcer: AND SO ENDS THE FIRST OF OUR FIVE ACTION-PACKED
EVENTS---
Sammy: What?!?!? There’s more?!?!? OH-NO!
Announcer: Who will be the winner of the title Tough Fellar???? Our next event will start
shortly!!!

Cut back to 18, slowly making her way through the crowd with Trunks

Android 18: So, where is this daddy of yours? Did you spot him yet?
Trunks: (standing on top of one of the outer walls of the arena to get a better view) Nope.
But he’s gotta be here somewhere. Mom would get mad if he left me.
Android 18: (thinks) “Hm. This child is smart, for a human. I wonder how old he is.”
(calls up to Trunks) Mind if I ask you something?
Trunks: Nope. (jumping down from wall) What?
Android 18: I was just wondering how old you are. 
Trunks: Four. I’m going to be five soon. 
Android 18: “Wow, he’s definately smart for his age. I wonder what his parents are
like...”
Trunks: Now its my turn to ask a question! How old are you? (smirks)
Android 18: (distantly) I don’t know.
Trunks: huh? But you’ve gotta know! Everybody knows how old they are! I just think you
don’t wanna tell me!
Android 18: Think what you want. Let’s get back to finding your father.

Cut back to Android 17

Announcer: ALL RIGHT!!! OUR SECOND EVENT IN THE 9TH ANNUAL TOUGH
FELLAR CONTEST IS THE WOOD CHOP!!! WE’RE ALMOST DONE SETTING UP
FOR THIS EVENT SO OUR CONTESTANTS CAN START GETTING READY!!!!
Gregorio: I’m best at this event. Its not for little girls and mama’s boys like all of you!
Get ready to eat my saw dust!
Android 17: (thinks) “What a jerk! Wait, I know what would be fun---if he didn’t even
place. And I think I can arrange it.”
Announcer: ALL RIGHT! CONTESTANTS, TAKE YOUR PLACES! THE OBJECT OF
THIS CONTEST IS TO BE THEIR FIRST ONE TO CUT THROUGH THEIR BLOCK
OF WOOD! NOW EVERYONE BE READY TO PICK UP THEIR AXES WHEN OUR
TIME KEEPERS ARE READY!!! (gets a signal from the time keepers) OKAY! GET
READY! 
Android 17: (looks around himself; Sammy and Phil N. LaBlank are to his left; all other
contestants are to his right) “Those two taking second and third are as good as anyone
else)
Announcer: SET!!!
Android 17: “I hope 18’s watching this; This’ll be fun!
Announcer: GO!!!! 
(All contestants minus Android 17 pick up their axes and start chopping; 17 karate chops
the block of wood in two with one blow; Then during the confusion of people realizing
the event is over he quickly sends a small energy blast, Slicing in half both Sammy and
Phil N. LaBlank’s pieces of wood as they make the first chop. Android 17 just smiles
evilly)
One of the Timekeepers: (shocked) What, it’s over already? (calls over to announcer)
LOOKS LIKE WE’VE GOT A NEW RECORD!
Announcer: (had his back turned to 17 so didn’t even realize the contest was over; turns)
OH!!! IT LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE A WINNER!
Gregorio: (jaw drops) WHAT???
Announcer: TAKING FIRST, WITH A NEW RECORD OF .005 SECONDS, ANDROID
17! AND TAKING SECOND SAMMY, WITH A TIME OF .007 SECONDS!
Sammy: Wha? Its over already?
Announcer: AND TAKING THIRD WITH .008 SECONDS, LAST YEAR’S
CHAMPION, PHIL N. LABLANK! 
Phil N. LaBlank: Qu’est-ce que se passe? I did not think I hit it that hard....
Announcer: AND SO ENDS THE SECOND OF OUR EXCITING EVENTS!! WE’LL
BE PREPARING FOR EVENT THREE, THE TRAILER PULL, SO DON’T MOVE A
MUSCLE!! AS FOR THE CONTESTANTS, YOU CAN GO INTO THE LOCKER
ROOM TO WAIT!
Gregorio: (in the long hall that leads to the lockers) H-How did I lose?? Why?? That
wasn’t possible!!
Android 17: Now who ate whose dust?
Gregorio: (mad) I’m going to make you pay, pretty boy!
Android 17: Go ahead and try. I’m ready when you are. 
Gregorio: THEN NOW! (throws a punch and 17 catches it without any effort)
Android 17: You’re not worth the trouble. (pushes Gregorio over and leaves him)

Cut to Android 18

Android 18: “17, I saw you throw that energy attack! What were you doing?---”
Trunks: I think I might see my daddy! Come on! (grabs 18’s hand and starts to lead her
through the crowd again)



End Part 3