Welcome to Dbz Price is Right! You’ll turn back now if you know what’s good for you! With Love as always, Evil Tim (Scene opens on the Price is Right set, repopoulated by the dbz cast and the dbz extras (you know, all those people that look like Krillin with a hat). Then, Dabura’s voice is heard, booming over a microphone as the Price is Right Theme Music plays and lights flash) Dabura: Gohan! Come on down! Gohan: (freaking out like typical price is right contestant) OH MY GOSH!!! AHHHH!!!!! Dabura: Goku! Come on down! Goku: YES!!! In your face Vegeta!! Vegeta: Shut up Kakarott! Goku: (runs down to contestant’s row) YEAAAhHHH!!!! Gohan: Dad! We’re on the same show! Goku: (sees Saiyaman outfit) Son! You’re dressed like some kinda freak! Dabura: (cutting them off) Kibito! Come on down! Kibito: (comes down silently; has no comment; Goku and Gohan give him funny looks) Dabura: Kaioshin! Come on down! Shin: AHHHHH!!! Oh no! I don’t want to be on a show! Ahhh! I don’t have time for this! I must stop Babidi from awakening Majin Buu! AHH! Dabura: These are the first four contestants on The Price Is Fight!---uhhmmm---Right! And here’s your host, Babidi Barker! Babidi: (comes out from between curtains cackling evilly; crowd cheers live idiots) Kaioshin: Oh no! Babidi: Shut up! Did I tell you you could speak, Kai? This is my show! Now here comes one of my beauties with the first item up for bid! (Spopovich comes in wearing a short skirt and carrying something that resembles a watering can) Dabura: Its---uhmmm---It doesn’t matter what it is! I’m sure it is quite expensive! Bidders, bid now! Babidi: Thank you Dabura. Goku! Goku: What? Babidi: What’s your bid? Goku: ...... Babidi: How much do you think the thing is worth! Goku: Oh! What do you think Gohan? Babidi: YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO ASK OTHER CONTESTANTS! Goku: Oh, I’m not? Then you should say so. Babidi: Just bid. Or Dabura will destroy you! Isn’t that right Dabura? Dabura: Yes Master Babidi. Goku: Oh. Well okay. Is 2¢ good? Dabura: Idiot! You can’t bid cents! Babidi: You can now. We need to keep the show moving. Gohan! What’s your bid? Gohan: Oh, gee, I’ve never bought a watering can before. Babidi: It’s NOT a watering can! Gohan: Oh. Okay. Then I bid $10. That’s a lot for a watering can though. Babidi: Oh, shut up! Annoying Kai’s friend, you’re next. Kibito: I’m not quite sure I understand the system of currency we’re operating in--- Babidi: Just say a number! Kibito: $1000. (to Shin) Is that a lot? Kaioshin: I’m not quite sure-- Babidi: Annoying Kai! Your bid! Kaioshin: Ahhh! $500! Babidi: All right! Well the actual retail price is. (opens little envelope) $30! Gohan, you win! Gohan: Really I do?? Wow! I get to go up on stage! Goku: Good luck Gohan! Gohan: Thanks Dad! (gets out of contestant’s row) But what did I win? Babidi: That thing. Gohan: But what does it do? Babidi: Why don’t you go over there and my beauties will show you? Gohan: (walks over to Spopovich; Spopovich promptly drains his energy with the watering can thing as Babidi cackles insanely) Goku: Oh no! Gohan! Kaioshin: Stay here! We can’t do anything for him now! Babidi: Dabura! Who’s our next contestant? Dabura: Vegeta! Come on down! You’re the next contestant on the price is right! Vegeta: (thinks) “I’ve failed to beat Kakarot every time I fought him, but maybe, somehow I can finally defeat him at this game show!” (comes down) Babidi: All right! Now let’s see the next item up for bid! (a table turns around and a confused Krillin and Piccolo are standing there; Dabura spits on them both, turning them to stone) Dabura: We have these two fine lawn ornaments! Kaioshin: Oh no!! I should’ve warned them! Dabura’s spit turns anything it touches to stone! Babidi: Shut up, annoying Kai! Goku, what’s your bid? Goku: Oh no! Not this again. (counts on his fingers for a while) 12! Dabura: Is that dollars or cents? Babidi: Who cares? (12 lights up on the screen in front of Goku in contestant’s row) Vegeta! You’re next. Vegeta: This is stupid. Just declare me the winner so we can all leave. I’m the prince of all Saiyans. So of course I’m the one who’s going to win! Babidi: Did I hear a $1? (one dollar lights up on Vegeta’s screen) Vegeta: How dare you? I hadn’t bid yet! Babidi: Kibito! You! Kibito: Well $1000 was too high.....what did the other contestants bid? Babidi: The clock’s ticking. Place your bid. Kibito: Clock? Oh, well $10. won last time, maybe it will this time too. Kaioshin: $20! $20! I’m sure I’m right this time! Babidi: Kai! Did I ask for your bid yet? Kaioshin: No-- Babidi: THEN DON’T INTERRUPT ME! YOU DON’T GET TO BID! And the actual retail price is...$21. Kibito! You win! Kaioshin: No, I won! I bid $20. Babidi: But your bid didn’t count! Stupid annoying Kai. (while camera was off Kibito, he healed Gohan) Gohan: Piccolo! Krillin! They’re statues! Babidi: So what’s wrong with that? Dabura, teach them a lesson! Dabura: Yes master Babidi! (As Dabura steps out of Rod Roddie’s undisclosed location, we see him for the first time; he’s wearing a jacket covered in sequins; it comes with the job; while Kibito is laughing at the king of the demons in sequins, Dabura blasts him, along with Spopovich and Yamu in their skirts, but no one notices or cares; then he knocks Gohan into the audience) Dabura: You’ll stay there if you know what’s good for you. Babidi: All right! Let’s continue shall we? Dabura! Come on down! Dabura: But Master Babidi! I’m the announcer! I can’t be a contestant! Babidi: You dare defy me?!?! Dabura: No, master. (takes place next to Shin in contestant’s row as Shin screams hysterically) Kaioshin: AHHH!!! DABURA!!! THE KING OF THE DEMONS!!! AHHH!!! Babidi: Everyone just ignore the annoying Kai. He doesn’t get any say in this. Now let’s bring out the next item up for bids! (Yakon, Pui Pui, and a bunch of Babidi’s extra’s wheel out the Ball of Buu) Kaioshin: ahHH!!! That’s the ball Majin Buu is imprisoned in! Vegeta: Who cares? This is a waste of mine, and everyone else here’s time! I thought it would be the perfect oppurtunity to beat Kakarot, but it’s boring me to tears! I’M LEAVING!!! Goku: Aww, come on Vegeta. It’s going okay. Vegeta: Okay? OKAY???? I’VE WASTED 20 MINUTES OF MY LIFE I CAN NEVER GET BACK AND YOU SAY THATS OKAY? (starts going off on some wild tangent) Dabura: Master Babidi! Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Babidi: Yes I am Dabura. Paparapapa! (inside Vegeta’s mind) Kaioshin: No! Vegeta! Fight it! You’re stronger than they are! Vegeta: (crying out in pain) Goku: Supreme Kai! What’s going on? Kaioshin: Babidi is inside his mind, trying to gain control over it! Goku: Oh no! Vegeta! Fight it! Don’t allow yourself to be controlled! Vegeta: (goes Super Saiyan; than pulls out a magic marker and draws an “M” on his forehead) Kaioshin: OH NO!!!!! AHHH!!! Babidi: Okay, now that that is taken care of, we have to bid on the magic ball of Buu! Goku! You’re first! Goku: All right! I bid $1! Vegeta: Kakarot, how dare you? I was going to bid a $1!!! YOU HAD NO RIGHT! Babidi: Vegeta! Your bid! Vegeta: Kakarot, you will fight me, NOW! (raises a hand and aims it at the crowd of people; Pui Pui and Yaukan are also in that crowd along with all Babidi’s extras) Goku: No! Vegeta! You can’t! Vegeta: (nukes them all) Babidi: Are you two even listening to me! VEGETA! THIS IS YOUR MASTER BABIDI SPEAKING! BID! Goku: Vegeta! No! What have you done! Kaioshin: I won’t let you two fight! All the --- Babidi: (Kaioshin’s complaints and cries of dismay are becoming so loud no one can concentrate) Vegeta! I know its early in the script for it, but do as I say! Kill the Surpeme Kai! Vegeta: No! My only objective is Kakarot! Babidi: What!! Vegeta: You may control my body, but there’s one thing a Saiyan always has; his PRIDE!!!! (powers up) Goku: Fine Vegeta. I’ll fight you, but only if we go somewhere where no innocent people will be hurt. (realizes the crowd panicked and ran for it a long time ago) Like right here. (they start fighting) Babidi: So much for bidding on the ball of Buu. Looks like you win by default, Dabura. Dabura: But Master Babidi, what was the actual retail price? Babidi: (opens envelope) 0. The Magic Ball of Buu is completely worthless. Dabura: What? Then why are we wasting so much time collecting energy for it? (magic ball of Buu begins shaking) Kaioshin: Oh no!!!!!! Babidi: YES! Look Dabura! The meter is full! Majin Buu is coming out!!! Gohan: Oh no! But how? Babidi: This room absorbs all the energy from Goku and Vegeta fighting! Gohan: No it doesn’t! It’s just the set to The Price is Right! Babidi: Hm...in that case, I don’t know what happened. (room begins to shake) Quickly! We need to spin the big wheel before Majin Buu awakes--- Gohan: I’ve got to stop him! KA-ME-HA-ME-HA!!!!!!!!! (blasts at the Ball of Buu; it shakes even more but isn’t even scratched) Dabura: Master Babidi! We must stop him! Babidi: Let him have his fun. That’s like a flea bite to Majin Buu. Gohan: KA-ME-HA-ME-HA!!!!!! (ball cracks open and is empty) Babidi: What? Where’s Majin Buu?? Kaioshin: (strange little laugh) Ha-ha-ha! You see Babidi! Your monster is dead! You didn’t see such a small amount of energy as a threat and so Gohan was able to destroy your monster when it was defenseless! Years of imprisonment must have weakened Majin Buu. Gohan: (looking up) Wait, no! Look, Supreme Kai! Kaioshin: (looks up) Oh no, what’s that? Babidi: Dabura, what is that boy staring at?? Dabura: Clouds, wait, some kind of smoke. But I don’t sense anything from it--just emptiness. (smoke begins taking a shape) Majin Buu: BUU!!!!!!! Kaioshin: OH NO!!!!! (returns to his hysterics, multiplied by 10) Dabura: Master Babidi! Is this Majin Buu? Babidi: I don’t know. Only that annoying Kai has seen him before. Majin Buu: BUU!!!!! Babidi: Okay, who’s our next contestant? (realizes Gohan is the only one in the room who isn’t doing anything) It’s Gohan again! Gohan: Great! It must be my lucky day! I’m going to be more careful this time though! Babidi: Let’s bring out our next item up for bid! It’s a trip for two out of here! (figures Goku and Vegeta are too busy to bid) Gohan, place your bid. Gohan: Uhmmm...$1? Babidi: (skips Shin again) All right! The actual retail price is 3 payments of $29.95! Gohan, you win! Gohan: All right! I’m taking my trip now! Come on Supreme Kai! (grabs Supreme Kai’s hand and runs) Babidi: Buu, stop them! They didn’t pay the tax on it! Majin Buu: BUU!!! POW-POW-POW-OW-OW-OW! (blasts Gohan and Shin) Goku: Vegeta, isn’t that Majin Buu down there? And it looks like the other guys are getting their butts kicked! Vegeta: That’s nothing new; what’s your point Kakarot? Goku: We’ve got to help them! Vegeta: Fine. I don’t want to fight you when you’re distracted like this, Kakarot. Why don’t you get our your senzu beans and we’ll finish this later? Goku: Thanks, Vegeta! (turns his back and Vegeta hits him in the back of the head and takes his senzu bean, then returns to contestant’s row) Babidi: Looks like we’re going to need a lot of new contestants. Dende: (running in from off camera) Hey guys! Our producers just told us to hurry this up! They need the Price Is Right set in half an hour. Now I need to get back to playing no important role in the show! Come visit me! (Dende leaves, everyone skips ahead in the script) Majin Buu: (sing-songly chanting) Me gonna eat you up! Me gonna eat you up! (bouncing towards Dabura) TURN INTO COOKIE! (eats him) Babidi: Whoops! Looks like I forgot about the big wheel. Well there’s no point now. And it looks like we have a few opennings in contestant’s row. GOTEN AND TRUNKS! KRILLIN! COME ON DOWN! PICCOLO COME ON DOWN! You’re the next contestants on The Price Is Right! (all run down into contestant’s row; Vegeta moves down a spot, Goten & Trunks take one spot, Krillin takes the one next to them, then Vegeta and Piccolo is last) Krillin: Uhm, I shouldn’t be here! If I get hurt, 18’ll kill me! Trunks: Come on Goten! We can watch the Buu Monster better from down here. Goten: Which one of those guys is the lizard turned into a man? Piccolo: What the heck is going on here? Vegeta, what’s with the “M”? Vegeta: Shut up, Namek! If you wanted to be informed, you should’ve been here! Babidi: Now wouldn’t you all love to win this? It’s a NEW SPACE SHIP!!! Vegeta: That’s not new! Its the space ship you came here in! Piccolo: ??? Goten and Trunks: Wow! Cool! Krillin: Gyah! 18’ll be mad if I don’t win! Babidi: Now let’s start the bidding! Goten and Trunks! What’s your bid? Goten: Trunks, what’s a bid? Trunks: Goten! Just let me handle this. $1000! Goten: Hey, how come I don’t get to say a number? Trunks: Because I’d be surprised if you could count Goten--- Babidi: (cuts them off) Krillin you’re next! Krillin: Gee...uhhh...space ships are kind of expensive...$3000.? Babidi: All right. Now Vegeta! Vegeta: Fools! You have no idea how much you pay for a space ship! You’ve all overbid! I’d be shocked if that clunker was worth more than $50. Babidi: (getting annoyed at the way his space ship is being put down) Glad you feel that way, Vegeta. ($50 lights up in front of Vegeta) Next bidder is Piccolo! Piccolo: What? What’s going on here? Where’s the Supreme Kai? Where’s Gohan? Does anyone know what’s going on??? Babidi: Did I hear a 1 again? ($1. lights up in front of Piccolo) Vegeta: If you win, Namek, I’m going to kill you! Babidi: And the actual retail price is--- Piccolo: I retract my bid! I retract my bid! Babidi: $60! Vegeta, you win! Vegeta: Yes! I win! (comes up on stage) And now I know exactly what I’m going to do. Babidi: What would that be? Vegeta: (blows up the space ship) Babidi: Hey! That was my space ship! I was going to kill you and take it back---I mean, I didn’t order you to blow up my space ship! Majin Buu! Majin Buu: BUUU!!! Babidi: Take care of him! Vegeta: You certainly are ugly. Majin Buu: Ou-glee? What mean ou-glee? Babidi: It means your face would frighten small children! Majin Buu: Ooohhh! Me mad! POW-POW-POW-OW-OW-OW! (steam shoots out of the holes in his head like a teapot and he attacks) Trunks: Yeah! Get him dad! Babidi: Hmm....We’re out of contestants. Oh well. Goten and Trunks, just count as two people for once. Trunks: Yes! We get to be individuals! Goten: (off in his own world) Huh? Trunks: (shoves Goten into the empty spot it contestant’s row) Majin Buu: You go bye-bye! (sinisterly) BYE-BYE-BYE-BYE!!! (hits Vegeta with a blob of himself making an effect similar to that Merry-Go-Ground-Gum from Dragonball; he is stuck and being crushed; Buu begins dancing around happily) Trunks: Oh no! Dad! Babidi: Our next item up for bid isn’t an item at all! Its the right to save Vegeta’s life! Goten, what’s your bid? Goten: (thinks) “He looks like a lizard turned into a man” Babidi: Goten! Bid already! Goten: Uhhh, “G”? Babidi: “G” isn’t a number!!! Goten: It starts my name though. My mom taught me how to spell my name. I’m going to be just like my dad. She didn’t make me study like she did Gohan. Do I know any numbers, Trunks? Babidi: GGAAAHHH!!! SOMEONE HELP HIM! Future Trunks: (from in the audience seats) Hey! Four’s a number! Goten: Okay! Then 4! Krillin: (to Future Trunks) Hey! Didn’t you get written out of the script after Cell was defeated and Android 18 and I got married? Future Trunks: YOU MEAN THERE’S ANDROIDS ALIVE IN THIS TIME??? AND YOU MARRIED ONE??? NOOO!! DARN THOSE ANDROIDS!!! FATHER!!!!!! (runs off of set in the middle of some kind of psychotic episode) Babidi: All right! Let’s just pretend that didn’t happen. Trunks, what’s your bid? Trunks: How can you bid on something if its not an item? Babidi: Kid, if you’re going to give me lip, I’m just going to skip you. Piccolo! Piccolo: And where’s Goku? I don’t sense any of their power levels! And is that Majin Buu? Somebody needs to help Vegeta---- Babidi: (sigh) The actual retail price of the right to save Vegeta’s life is (reads from card) “You can’t bid on the right to save someone’s life because its not an item”. That means Trunks wins! Krillin: Vegeta’s a goner. Piccolo: Stay where you are Trunks! There’s nothing you can do! TRUNKS! COME BACK! Goten: Trunks! Wait up! (starts to follow but Piccolo stops him) Hey! Let me go! Piccolo: Goten! I won’t let you go down there! You’ll just make things worse! Goten: Let me go! Trunks needs my help! If I were Gohan you would’ve let me go wouldn’t you? Piccolo: (lets him go and thinks for a minute) No I wouldn’t have! Hey! Come back here! Trunks: Dad! (gives Buu a kick out of the way; he goes hurtling through the big Price Is Right doors; Goten and Trunks free Vegeta from the goo) Trunks: Dad? Goten: Its all right now, we’re here! Trunks: Come on Dad! Wake up! Please! Wake up! Dad-Dad-DAD! Come on! Wake up! (trying not to cry) Goten: Is he alive? Trunks: OF COURSE HE IS! My dad’s the toughest guy in the whole world! Goten: Yeah, but he got hurt real bad! Trunks! Hey Goten! Clean out your ears and listen to me. okay? My mom told me my dad used to be the prince of every single Saiyan! Krillin: Yeah. All five of them. (everyone ignores Krillin) Goten: He’s a PRINCE? Trunks: That’s right. He’s a prince, Goten. A prince! And there’s no way a prince could lose to a stupid monster! Vegeta: (wakes up) Trunks: That’s it Dad! Goten: He’s awake! Vegeta: Trunks, my son....(sits up) WAIT! Where is Majin Buu?!? Babidi: So much for the show case show down. Piccolo: Skip me, will you? I’ve been watching this show for centuries! I’m the only thing older than Bob Barker! (chops Babidi in half with a chop) Kami, what did I tell you about having opinions? (hits himself in the head) OW! Babidi: (top half still talking) Have your pet spayed or neutered!.......(in a big ditch) Majin Buu: (gettiing up, freeing himself from peices of the dice game and Plinko) Me mad! Me make pow-pow-POW! Vegeta: Trunks, listen. You need you to take good care of your mother. Trunks: Why would you say that? Dad! Why do you want me to take care of mom? Are you going somewhere? Vegeta: (Bob’s beauties are starting to arrive and hit on Krillin; skips ahead in the scipt some more) Trunks. You are my only son, yet I haven’t held you once since you were a baby, have I? Come here, son. (gives Trunks a hug) Trunks: Dad, what’s wrong? This is embarassing. Cut it out.... Vegeta: Trunks, there’s something you must know... You’ve made me proud, my son. (knocks Trunks out with a chop to the back of the head) Goten: What did you do to him? Why’d you do that? What’s wrong with you? Why did you do that to Trunks? You could’ve killed him! WHY! Are you crazy? WHY!!! (becoming hysterical; grabs Vegeta and shakes him) Why did you do it, tell me why did you do that to Trunks? You’re his dad; Dad’s aren’t supposed to do bad things to their sons. Why did you hit him? Why did you hurt him like that? WHY? WHY! (knocks Goten out with a particularly violent punch to the gut; thinks) “Stupid tiny Kakarott.” Piccolo: (comes over to pick up what’s left of the kids; thinks) “Man, maybe if I would’ve bothered to be recertified as a babysitter by the Red Cross after Gohan got older, things like this wouldn’t happen.” (remembers) “Oh, yeah. Vegeta” You’ll die. You know that. Vegeta: Piccolo! I’ve known you nearly 15 years and I’ve never held you either. Come here, Namek. Piccolo: Uhmm...no...that’s all right. I’ll just get Goten and Trunks to safety. Vegeta: Yes. That’s right. That’ll be all. Get out of here, and hurry. Piccolo: Come on Krillin! Krillin: Yeah! Before he gets any weirder! (Krillin, Piccolo, and the kids clear out) Majin Buu: You stay! You fight Buu! Vegeta: Yes! That’s right! Your fight is with me! The others are of no concern to you! Got it? You big bloated balloon freak! Majin Buu: (does the tea kettle thing again) Me no like you! Buu angry! Vegeta: (chuckles) Majin Buu: You talk mean to Buu? Me make you hurt bad! Buu get big mad now--Me want fight! Vegeta: I think I finally understand you. Let’s go. Majin Buu: You look tasty. Me make you chocolate. Or maybe make you butter and cheese! Vegeta: You are a fool. I’m going to crush you; and throw you into the wind. Majin Buu: Huh? ha? HUH? WHOOOAAA!!! (Vegeta self distructs in lots of screaming and a flash of light; The Price Is Right credits and ending theme run; Bob Barker can be heard screaming “No, not my set!”. And that’s all she wrote) The End!!