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I read this in an AOL DBZ newsgroup and this is very funny: Imagine if Vegeta's death scene was a little different. [Vegeta is on his deathbed, and freeza is ready to fight Goku] VEGETA: Kakarrot, there's more . . . GOKU: Save your strength. VEGETA: No, I have to tell you. Freeza took me away from my father when I was a little boy. My father looked a lot like me, you know. He had a beard though. People used to say, "Vegeta, you're the spitting image of your father." I'd always just smile and nod. To tell you the truth, those people really got on my nerves. Especially old Mrs. Carruthers. Oh, man. She was awful. Every day: "Vegeta, you're growing up so fast!" or "Oh, Vegeta, you're so handsome today." Then she'd pinch my cheeks, and old dad would just sit there laughing. One day I said, "Dad, you gotta get old lady Carruthers offa me, I can't stand her." And he says to me, "Ah, son, she means no harm." Anyway, Freeza took me from old pop. I was five, I think. You weren't around then, Kakarrot, you were on Earth already. Your father, Bardock, sent you there when you were a baby. FREEZA: Shut up, Vegeta!!! [shoots a beam through Vegeta's heart] VEGETA: Ouch. Anyhow, your dad, boy, he was a great guy. Once, me and your dad and Nappa all went out to this one restaurant. Your dad was babysitting me, and he and Nappa were old friends, so anyway, he took us to this restaurant, and when the waiter came, Nappa stuck his foot out, and the guy spills a T-bone steak and rice clear across the restaurant. The steak landed on this one guy's head, and the guy said to the waiter, "This is the last time I eat here!" And so the waiter, of course, says, "No, blame Nappa!! It's his fault!" And so the guy punched Nappa square in the face, and of course Nappa vaporized him, but I think he evacuated. Nappa just got mad and stormed out, and your dad and I were sitting there laughing for hours. FREEZA: You should be dead! GOKU: Vegeta, save your strength. VEGETA: You have to hear this, Kakarrot. There was this one time when Raditz came over to my house--this was after my dad died--and we were playing Hungry Hungry Hippos, and Raditz had this special technique he always used, and I said, "Hey Raditz, how do you do it?" And he said, "Family secret." I was just a kid back then, you see, so I liked games like Hungry Hungry Hippos. FREEZA: JUST SHUT UP! [stomps on Vegeta's head, killing him] GHOST OF VEGETA: And so anyway, Raditz just would not tell me how he got o darn good at Hungry Hungry Hippos. To this day I still don't know. FREEZA: Go away!!!! I want to fight this guy! GHOST: Well, fine. I can see when I'm not wanted. [vanishes] FREEZA: OK, we can fight now. GOKU: Take a shot. [Freeza and Goku begin fighting] GOKU: You're pretty strong. FREEZA: You too. I think you're probably the one who killed Ginyu. GOKU: Not killed. Changed. He was blue. Now he's green. FREEZA: Huh? GOKU: He's a frog. FREEZA: Yeah, I figured, but what do you mean he was blue? GOKU: Wasn't he blue? FREEZA: He was purple. GOKU: Oh . . . who was blue, then? FREEZA: Blue? Hmmm . . . Butter was blue. GOKU: Ah. Ginyu was purple, really? FREEZA: Purple with big black horns. GOKU: I thought that was Jeece. FREEZA: Jeece was the orange guy. GOKU: The Aussie? FREEZA: He was British last I saw him. GOKU: Oh, yeah. He switched. FREEZA: Oh, OK. GOKU: OK, so let me try again: He was blue, now he's green. FREEZA: You did it again. GOKU: What? FREEZA: You said he was blue. GOKU: I did? I meant purple. FREEZA: I know what you meant. GOKU: Well, good then. He was PURPLE, now he's green. FREEZA: Right. [resumes fighting] ----------------------------------------------------- BULMA: Oh, I wish I weren't here. GINYU-FROG: Ribbit. Urk, ook. BULMA: What an odd-sounding frog. FROG: [in frog-talk] Change now! GINYU (in Bulma's body): Geez. I don't want to waste my time. Let's just switch back. I hate filler scenes. Change now! BULMA: That was weird. [The frog hops away] ------------------------------------------------------ FREEZA: I should tell you I'm only at 1% of my max power. GOKU: WHich makes your full power, what, 400,000,000? FREEZA: Shut up. Fine, one third of my full power. GOKU: That's a little more realistic. FREEZA: Now to go to 50%. [powers up] GOKU: Kaiou-ken times 20! FREEZA: Weakling. [Goku raises up his arms] FREEZA: What's that, a dance? Oh, well, I'll just risk it and let you do whatever you're doing. |
