Chi Chi`s birthday

It was 8 A.M. when Chi Chi walked downstairs. ‘What is that awful smell?’ She thought. She entered the kitchen and saw Goku standing there. “What are you doing Goku?”

“I`m cooking.” He said proudly.

Chi Chi walked to the gascooker.

“Goku.”

“Yes?”

“Eh, honney. Did you know that you can`t cook socks?”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” Chi Chi sighed.

“Wauw, who would have thought. Well, I`ll cook something else instead.” Goku said with a smile. “Today, it`s your birthday so I`m going to do everything you usally do. You don`t have to do a thing.” Goku gave Chi Chi a little box.

She opened it. “Oh my god, this is so beautiful!” Chi Chi was holding a small golden ring with a diamond at the centre. “It fits! Oh Goku, I`m so happy.” She embrazed her husband. “But, where are Gohan and Goten?”

“They`re at Trunks`.”

“Why?”

“I just wanted to be alone with you. In about three hours, Bulma and Vegeta are comming over, so I just wanted to be alone with you for these three hours.”

‘What a great husband I have.’ Chi Chi thought. “When`s diner ready?” She asked.

“You sit right there.” Goku placed Chi Chi on a chair. “It`ll be finished in about ten minutes.”

Ten minutes later.

“Tadaa!” Goku placed the food on the table. He sat down in front of Chi Chi and imediately began to eat.

Chi Chi didn`t move.

“What`s wrong?” Goku asked.

“Ehm, Goku honey. You`re eating CD`s.”

“I know, they taste great! Want some?” Goku put a CD on his fork and swung it in front of Chi Chi`s face.

“Eh, no thank you.” ‘I should have known he would cook things you can`t cook.’ She thought. “What else do you have?”

“Ehm…” Goku scratched his head. “Oh yeah, I have fried crockery and a plant.”

“A PLANT?”

“Yeah, I was going to bake it, but I discovered that it tastes fine the way it is.”

‘Oh god. This is going to be a long morning.’ Chi Chi thought.

When Goku was done eating, he cleared the table. He grabbed everything within his reache and threw it towards the sink.

“GOKU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Chi Chi was shocked.

Goku looked at her like it wasn`t obvious what he was doing. “What does it look like? I`m clearing the table.”

“It looks like you`re destroying all of my crockery!”

Goku looked at the sink and saw the broken plates.

“Oops.” He had a guilty look at his face.

Chi Chi sighed. “I`ll handle it.”

“No, today you`re not allowed to do a thing.” He lifted uphis wife and placed her in front of the television. “Here, you can go watch television. I`ll clean up the mess.” Goku headed for the kitchen. “Do you want me to clean the floor too?” He yelled from the kitchen.

“If you want to.” Chi Chi yelled back.

“Ofcourse.”

Chi Chi started watching television. ‘Finally a programme I like.’ She thought. She was watching a documentary film about the life of birds.

“AAAAAAAH!” She yelled suddenly. A splash of water had hit her. “GOKU, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”

Goku was standing in the kitchen with a garden hose in his hands.

“You asked me to clean the floor!” Goku said indignant.

“I never asked you to do that. That was your own idea. What the hell are you doing with a garden hose?”

“Well, I thought cleaning the floor would go a lot faster when you just hose the whole thing.”

Meanwhile, the garden hose was still hosing the floor. The whole house was getting wet.

“Goku, the garden hose…” But Chi Chi was interrupted by Goku.

“Yes, I know I used a garden hose, but the floor is very clean now.”

“Eh honey, the floor….”

“Yes, it`s clean. I should use this garden hose thing far more often.”

“GOKU!”

“Yes?”

“I`m getting a bit wet here. STOP HOSING!”

“Sure.”

“Look at me! I`m all wet! You better make sure the floor`s dry when I come back from changing.” Chi Chi headed upstairs.

‘Hmmm, I better clean up this mess. But she has to admit though, the floor is clean. Very clean.’ Goku grabbed a bunch of sponges and threw them on the floor. ‘There.’

About five minutes later, Chi Chi finished changing and she was on her way downstairs. “GOKU!” She yelled on top of her longs.

“What is it honey?” Goku asked friendly.

“Now you listen closely mister, what are those sponges doing on my floor?” Chi Chi glared at her husband.

“They are cleaning up the floor.”

“THEY?”

“Yes, they absorb all of the water, and then I throw them out.”

“YOU ARE NOT GOING TO THROW THEM OUT! You clean up the mess yourself.”

“But….”

“No buts, mister. You clean up this mess RIGHT NOW!” Chi Chi was standing in front of Goku with crossed arms.

“Oke, if you insist.”

“Good. Here.” Chi Chi gave Goku an apron. “Put this on.”

Reluctantly, Goku did as he was told and started to scrub the floor.

That moment, Bulma and Vegeta entered the room.

“Kakkarot.”

Goku turned around and looked straight into the black eyes of Vegeta.

“Hee Vegeta! How nice of you to visit us.”

“Hmmpf, what the hell are you doing? You`re a sayjin. You are not suposed to scrub floors. Don`t you have any proud? You are such a weakling. I should have killed you a long time ago. Maybe I`m still going to kill you. Yes, I……”

“Vegeta, shut up.” Bulma said.

“Hi Chi Chi. Congratulations.” Bulma kissed both of Chi Chi`s cheeks.

“Thank you, Bulma. You`re early!”

“Here`s a little something from me and Vegeta.” Bulma said and gave her friend a present.

“Why, thank you.” Chi Chi opened it. “Wauw, what a beautiful bracelet! Thank you so much!”

“You`re welcome.” Bulma said.

“No you`re not. You`re way to ugly to wear that bracelet.”

“Vegeta, SHUT UP!” Bulma yelled.

“Vegeta, you really shouldn`t say that to my wife.” Goku lectured.

“Hmmpf, you are ugly too.”

“Vegeta!” Bulma was getting very aggravated.

“What is it woman?”

“Could you stop calling me woman?”

“No.”

Bulma sighed and walked into the livingroom. She sat down on the couch. Vegeta sat down next to her.

“So, Chi Chi.” Bulma began. “How are things going lately?”

“Ugly.” Vegeta said.

“Well, to tell you the truth, I don`t know what to do with Goku.”

“Kill him.”

“Vegeta, could you shut up for at least ten minutes?” Bulma asked.

“No.”

“What did Goku do?” Bulma asked Chi Chi.

“This morning, he cooked my socks, my crockery, my CD`s and he ate a whole plant!”

“Wauw. Did he really do that?”

Goku entered the room.

“Bulma?” He asked.

“Yes?”

“Why didn`t you bring the children?”

“They`re too ugly.” Vegeta said.

Bulma ignored Vegeta. “They wanted to play on Trunks his playstation.”

“The weaklings.”

“VEGETA!”

“Woman, could you stop yelling in my ears?”

“NO!” Bulma yelled as loud as possible. “Tell me Vegeta, do you enjoy being a jerk?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I hate ugly people.”

“Why do you keep talking about being ugly?”

Vegeta smirked. “Because, they are so ugly, that they`re almost beautiful.” Vegeta pointed at Goku and Chi Chi.

“Vegeta, that doesn`t make any sense.”

“Woman, are you stupid or something?”

“No.”
“Good.”

‘What the hell is he talking about? He doesn`t make any sense!’ Bulma thought.

“Goku, could you get a plate with snacks? I`ll get the soda`s.” Chi Chi said.

“No, you don`t have to do a thing. I`ll get everything.” Goku said.

Chi Chi smiled.

‘Ugly face.’ Vegeta thought.

Five minutes passed.

“Goku?” Chi Chi asked.

“Yes?” Goku answered from the kitchen.

“Is everything oke?”

“Sure. I`m done.” Goku entered the living room with a plate full of strange things.

“What`s that?”

Goku looked at his wife.

“Don`t you see? Snacks!”

Bulma took a look at the plate. There was a lot on it. Tinned meat, a whole cheese, a toothbrush, a plant, a bag of chips and a radio.

“Kakkarot! You are so stupid! You can`t eat a radio or a toothbrush or a plant. YOU FOOL!”

“They taste good!”

Vegeta hit Goku in his face. He landed hard. Normally, Goku`s stronger, but he didn`t see this one comming.

Vegeta laughed.

“This is not funny, Vegeta.” Bulma said.

Vegeta continued to laugh. “The one thing I thought was impossible just happened.”

“What?”

“Look at him. His face is covert with blood. He`s even more ugly than he normally is.” Vegeta started laughing again.

“VEGETA, we are leaving RIGHT NOW!” Bulma started dragging her husband outside. Ofcourse, she`s not strong enough, but Vegeta let her drag him. He wanted to leave too. ‘I can`t stand those ugly people!’ He thought.

“Goku, honey? Are you oke?” Chi Chi looked concerned.

“Man, what a hit.” Goku stood up.

“Goku, how are you feeling?”

“I`m fine.” Goku said and embrazed the lamp.

“Eh, Goku?”

“Yes, Chi Chi?”

“What are you doing?”

“I`m hugging you. Did you loose any weight?”

“No I didn`t.” Chi Chi was really concerned by now. “You`re hugging the lamp.”

“Really? Man, am I stupid.”

Chi Chi sighed. “Goku, why don`t you sit down for a while. I`ll get you something to drink.”

“Sure.” Goku sat down right next to the couch. He fell on the floor. “Hee, who moved the chair?” He asked Chi Chi.

“I`m calling the doctor.” Chi Chi muttered. She was on her way to the phone, when the doorbell rang. Chi Chi opened the door. “Yamcha, how nice of you to visit us.”

Yamcha entered the livingroom. “Congratulations Chi Chi. Here`s my present.”

Chi Chi opened it. It was a huge teddybear. “Wauw, he`s beautiful. Thank you Yamcha.”

Yamcha smiled. “Hi Goku.” He said when he saw Goku sitting on the floor.

Goku turned around. “Grandpa! I thought you were dead! How nice to see you again!” Goku hugged Yamcha.

“Ehm, Goku. I`m Yamcha!”

“Really? You wouldn`t say. Ah well.”

“He`s not quite himself today.” Chi Chi whispered to Yamcha.

“No gidding.”

“He started acting this weird, after Vegeta hit him. I think that`s the cause.” Chi Chi said.

“Could be.”

“So, Goku.” Yamcha began. “How are things going lately?”

“I like plants.”
“That`s nice. Chi Chi?”

“Yes?”

“Call a docter, right now.”

“Got it.” Chi Chi started to dial the number and started to explain to the docter what the problem was. Meanwhile, Yamcha tried to have a conversation with Goku.

“Goku?”

“No?”

Yamcha looked a bit odd. “What do you mean with no?”

“Well, people always say yes, so I decided to be original.”

“Yes ofcours.” Yamcha said.

“By the way, what do you think of my new sunglasses?” Goku put his new sunglasses on his nose. “The saleswoman told me that this is cool, but I don`t feel a thing.”

Yamcha slammed his head, pretending not to know his friend.

“The docter`ll be here in ten minutes.” Chi Chi said.

“Good.” Yamcha reacted.

“Man, what a way to celebrate my birthday.” Chi Chi sighed.

“Yeah.”

The next seven minutes, Chi Chi told Yamcha what a worthless cook Goku is. She told him everything. After that, there was a long silence.

“What`s that fucking doctor taking?”

“Chi Chi, relax. He`ll be here any minute.” Yamcha said.

“I know, but Goku`s destroying all of my furniture.” Goku had discovered that acting like a cat was really funny. For the last five minutes, he`s been busy scratching everything that came across with his nails.

The doorbel rang. Chi Chi opened the door. “Doctor! Finally. Goku`s over there.”

The doctor walked towards his patient. Goku just smiled.

“Hmmm, I think I know what to do.” The doctor grabbed a scoop and hit Goku hard with it.

“DOCTOR!” Chi Chi yelled.

“Oh, man. Hee, what`s the doctor doing here?” Goku asked.

“See?” The doctor said triumphant. “The only way to cure him, is to hit him again. Well, I`m leaving. See you later.” He walked away.

“Oh Goku, I`m so happy you`re oke again.” Chi Chi embrazed her husband.

“What do you mean? Ofcourse I`m oke.”

Chi Chi and Yamcha explained the whole thing to Goku.

“Oh, now I understand.” Goku scratched his head. “Well, do you want me to prepare some diner?”

“NO!” Chi Chi and Yamcha yelled.

“What? What did I do…….”

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