I hid my icy glare behind a soft and loving smile, causing the purple-haired wonder before me to fidget in absolute terror. What was wrong with him? He’d gotten me to go to Goten’s, and that was the aim of the whole plan, wasn’t it? So why did he have to act like the world was falling apart?
“You’re, um…you’re sure?” Trunks repeated, his blue eyes stricken with fear.
It took every ounce of my strength not to beat the hell out of him right then. I forced a more convincing smile onto my face, straining to look sincere. “Of course I’m sure,” I said through clenched teeth. “Why would you ask something like that?”
“Um, I don’t know,” he admitted. “Just…wanted to be positive…”
I growled under my breath, but kept the cheerful smile on my face the whole time. “Well, you don’t have to ask anymore,” I said, pretending to be in a good mood. “I’m one hundred percent positive. You know what you’re doing, right?”
He cast a glance at Bra and muttered something that I didn’t quite catch. I also looked to Bra, wondering why she wasn’t taking part in this conversation as much as she should have been. Her bright, blue eyes stared at me in confusion. She looked at Trunks, then back to me. Something didn’t click in her mind, and whatever it was obviously hadn’t donned on me, either. But it also couldn’t have been too important. The plan was real. It was being carried out right in front of our faces. So what was there to figure out?
But I couldn’t be mad yet. I had to at least pretend I didn’t catch onto anything here, no matter how obvious the situation. Trunks was acting like it was the end of the world with this question, so one couldn’t help but know something was wrong. Something about this little visit wasn’t going to be normal. Anyone could tell that. And I had to be unaware of the completely obvious. As illogical as it seemed, I had to pretend that his weird behavior didn’t clue me in at all. My world was the one crumbling around here. Why should he act like he was about to die?
Whoa, Pan, are you jealous about this? I asked myself, shuddering at the very thought. Of course I wasn’t. I was just resentful that he thought he was the one with the problems. Never jealous. You wanted this to happen, my mind accused. I quickly brushed it aside, scolding myself for coming up with such ideas. I never wanted this to happen. I’d spent the entire time hoping that it wouldn’t. You wanted to crush his heart.
“No I didn’t,” I said softly, not focusing on the situation. “I didn’t…oh!” I suddenly became aware that both the Briefs were staring at me like I’d lost my mind. “Sorry about that…the voices in my head are insisting something that’s not true.”
“Oh,” Bra nodded, as though it was normal. Trunks began to back away from us, obviously afraid of these so-called ‘voices.’ But also, I think, afraid of something else. Like me. Bra stopped him from leaving the room, her glare sharp enough to slice through even Vegeta. “You stay,” she hissed, not intending that I hear. She apparently forgot about my Saiyan hearing. She put on a fake smile and turned to me. “It was nice of you to stop by, Pan, maybe we should do this again some other time.”
I took the hint. She wanted to discuss this with him without me there. “Okay,” I said slowly. “Um, Trunks, I’ll get back to my confession tomorrow. After we come back from Goten’s. Now, uh, I have to go. See you later.” I shot Bra a look that said ‘you tell him without me, you’re dead’ and, with that, left the building. Vegeta was still outside, but thankfully he didn’t even take notice when I took to the sky just beyond the door. I didn’t want him to. I didn’t want anyone to.
I only wanted to die.
How could he? How could he do this to me? I mentally screamed at myself the entire flight home. I let myself fall into this. I fell in love. As much as I didn’t want to, I let myself. There could have been a way to do this without falling for him. There had to. But maybe that method never would have worked for me. I had a strong feeling that, no matter what I’d done, I would have ended up in love. No matter what. I always loved him…I just never though he’d return the feelings. And when he did, I let myself enjoy it. Not ever thinking that it might not be true.
And I hadn’t even retrieved my car…the poor, precious automobile…
I laughed at myself. “Pan, that car is the least of your worries right now,” I said firmly. I had to focus on the situation…maybe determine a way to break his little heart. But how could I do that if it wasn’t mine? I sighed. “Simple. You can’t. He can hurt you, but you can’t do a thing to him. Damn it!”
Life was so unfair…
It didn’t take me long to get home. It was still early, still not even five. My stomach still ached from the food poisoning I’d endured for lunch, so I didn’t have any intention of eating. But I could, now that my kitchen was clean. I’d have to thank my dad again for that. He cleaned the whole thing, just for me. Just because I was heartbroken. Or maybe because he thought I was acting childish and I wasn’t there to yell at yet. Maybe he just needed to vent his frustration into something nonviolent.
Or, perhaps the most logical option, he was unsatisfied with my sloppy living habits. I chided myself mentally. Dad cleaned too much of my house. First my bedroom, then my living room, and now my kitchen. And that was only this month. “Sorry, Dad,” I murmured aloud, making my way in through the balcony. I used it more as a door than something to look off of. Shameful.
I crossed the cream-colored carpet of the living room, in past the television, and eventually reached the bedroom. I had a strong feeling there was a message on my answering machine…which there was, I soon noticed. Yep. My guess was that it was from my father. I tapped the button lightly and waited for the sound to play.
“Yo, Pan. It’s your favorite uncle calling. I just heard the craziest thing…heh heh…Marron told me that Trunks called, says he’s gonna bring you here. I really hope you didn’t get around to confessing anything yet. I’m looking out for you, so if you want to rant about the world, go ahead and give me a call. Okay? Love you little niece. Bye.”
**beep** “End of message.”
I smiled faintly. “Thank you, favorite uncle,” I murmured to myself. It was nice of him to offer his consolation…but I felt this was something I had to deal with alone. Something I shouldn’t need his help for. Even though it would be nice to cry on his shoulder for a few hours or more…and he was probably worried that I told him something I shouldn’t have. But all was safe, and if we appeared at his house tomorrow like we were scheduled to, then he’d know that everything went according to plan.
Plans, plans. Too many of them were popping up all of a sudden. This was truly the stupidest thing I’d ever been through in my life. Everyone was always planning something: Trunks planning to hurt me and Goten, me planning to seek my revenge, and my father planning to eliminate my crush on Trunks, all within the course of a week. But it had been a long week…and I had a well-deserved weekend coming up. Which meant I should push the plans out of my mind and let myself relax. I should, but I couldn’t. It was, in all actuality, impossible to do that. Being as the plans happened to take place on the weekend.
“What I coincidence,” I laughed. “But I wonder what made this rush all of a sudden? If he’d have waited a day, he’d have known that I knew…”
Well, you’re not gonna get answers by sitting here and crying about it, my conscience told me, and I had to agree. But what could I do? I couldn’t very well ask Trunks now…I was supposed to be playing dumb. Which you are. Very dumb.
I scowled. My conscience was stupid, I decided. So what if Trunks was a damn liar? Bra was talking to him about it…I decided to call her in about an hour to make sure everything was the way we thought. She wouldn’t lie about it. Unless, of course, she had her own secret plan to get Goten for herself. Even though she and Marron were close, and I doubted that she’d do something like that, it was always possible. Anything was possible in this group of people.
We were supposed to be friends. I thought we were. Oh well. I at least had Goten to run to. He’d never do a thing to me. He was more like a brother than an uncle. If he ever did choose to hurt me, I’d assume that the world was going to crumble to bits within weeks. Goten could do damage far worse than Trunks ever could, because I trusted him more than anyone in the world. I trusted my uncle with everything, especially what I couldn’t trust anyone else with. He was my refuge for when everything else was falling apart.
I came back to my senses, standing in the middle of my sloppy bedroom. What was I going to do? My kitchen was clean, so I couldn’t waste my time with that. My bedroom…I didn’t want to be in here, but that was where my answering machine was conveniently located. I was too confused to watch television. I was too frustrated to play any game where there was a chance of me losing. The only logical thing to do was to call Goten back and let him know I was okay.
Plus, I might want to cry to him while I was on the phone. I just didn’t want poor Marron plagued with my troubles. She was probably still there, if he felt like I did about the food. I could still throw up any second. Nonetheless, I felt the sudden need to call him. Crying to him might not be too bad…
I quickly made my way back to the living room to make my phone call. I dialed the numbers even faster. And I impatiently tapped my nails on the table when he didn’t pick up immediately.
“Hello?” answered a soft and sweet voice. I knew right away that it wasn’t my uncle.
“Marron, put Goten on,” I said urgently.
“Pan? If this is about Trunks, I’d just like to say I’m sorry.”
“I don’t care what you have to say,” I said honestly. “I don’t care about anything. Just let me vent my frustration on my uncle and then we can all go home and be happy.”
“Okay,” she said quietly, sounding a bit hurt. But she understood my anger, right? She knew I didn’t mean much harm when I snapped at her. I heard her call for him, and I heard his pained response. The poisoned food must still have been bothering him.
Eventually, though, he did make it to the phone. “Yeah?”
“Goten, I’m angry,” I said simply.
“Go ahead, I promise I’ll listen.”
And so, I proceeded to tell him every little detail of the past week. Everything. I described his reaction to seeing me again perfectly, and my reaction to that reaction. I told him about lunch (which he got upset that I didn’t invite him to) and the uncomfortable feeling of it all and the lunch of the next day and how everyone was shocked that I knew him and my holier-than-thou attitude toward that. He laughed when he heard that. But I told him to shut up and let me finish. So he did, no questions asked. I explained everything. Some details I even described twice, because I either felt strongly about it or I felt I told it wrong the first time. He let me cry to him, and that’s what I love about my uncle. He was always, always there for me. No matter what.
Eventually, though, I ran out of details to describe. He knew the whole thing now, and he still didn’t rub it in my face for being such a fool. He told me not to rub it in my own face, either, because he was sure that it wasn’t my fault. According to Goten, the whole situation was Trunks’ fault, and I shouldn’t feel any guilt whatsoever. He had a way of convincing me of things, and so I believed him. And after I was comforted enough, I let him go. I told him I’d see him tomorrow, undoubtedly, and we hung up.
Thank Dende for my Uncle Goten. Life would be miserable without him.
I felt good enough to eat something when I hung up, but thinking back to the afternoon stopped me from eating anything. It was too dangerous. I could end up food poisoned again, and that was definitely an experience I didn’t want to relive.
Goten was right. Trunks wasn’t worth my time, anyway. Much as I loved him…much as I wanted to ‘be his mate,’ as Vegeta would put it, I couldn’t. And I had grown to accept that before I left for college.
But I always clung to that hope…the little hope that let me sleep at night when I was tortured with feelings of regret and despair. When I wanted nothing more than to make him happy for the rest of my life, I always looked to my one shred of hope. Thinking that maybe, one day, he’d look at me and realize that I’d grown up. The little girl that was always one of his closest friends was now a woman, and that she was in love with him. I was always there, practically offering myself to him, but he was to blind to notice. He wasn’t worth my time…if he only saw beauty, and no little Panny that lingered on the inside. Then he wasn’t worth the effort.
I somehow managed to fall asleep that night, around eight forty-five. Much earlier than normal, for me. I was comforted, though, and I wanted to get rest before I started having second thoughts. I slept on my couch, of course, with the blanket that my father had retrieved for me. My blanket was finally back where it belonged, after its six days lost in my room.
My dreams were, once again, recollections of the time that I’d spent with my friends and family. I thought of one time…at college. When I was with some guy…I don’t even know his name, now. But he was much like Trunks in the sense that everyone wanted him. Everyone but me. For some reason, he didn’t attract me at all. But, like luck tended to be, I was the lucky girl he picked out of the crowd. So I figured, what the hell? Might as well go out with him. Maybe I’d see past his self-obsessed exterior and find out that he was a great person.
So, I went out with him for a while. He was a fairly nice guy, and he held an unbelievable amount of insight to my mind. He knew I was preoccupied with someone from home, so I told him all about Trunks. That I was head over heels for him, but that he could never see me in ‘that way.’ The guy told me to be honest. And when he left that evening, I never saw him again. Weird. Also kind of scary.
Memories danced in my mind throughout my slumber. Mostly memories of my uncle. I was once again reassured that the world would come crashing to an end if he wasn’t there for me. Goten, what would I do without you?
And in my dream, he’d laugh and reply, "You would die without me. I’m your almighty uncle, the most important person on the face of the planet!" I would smile and sarcastically agree. But in a way, he’d be right.
* * * * *
Beep…beep…beep…be--
“I’M AWAKE!” I roared at the alarm set up next to my head. It still didn’t quit its annoying noises, so I had to resort to violence. I wasn’t much in the mood to spare the lives of clocks, so I blasted it to pieces. No irritating beeps after that. After I had a moment to clear my mind, I realized what today was and groaned.
Saturday.
Why me? I silently pleaded. But, it was me, so I had to deal with it. Trunks could think that his little mission succeeded, but I’d know it didn’t. And so would he, after he got to be all smug and triumphant. Then I’d get to backfire the whole thing in his face. So HAH, HAH to you, too, Trunks.
I got up off of my spot on the couch, making my way to the kitchen. I had to eat breakfast; my Saiyan stomach was roaring with hunger. Breakfast couldn’t upset my food poisoning, right? It could only make things better…right?
“Of course, you’ll be fine,” I told myself, pulling a bowl from my conveniently located pile on the counter. I rarely put things where they belonged, and luckily my father had left this already-organized portion of the kitchen untouched. The reasoning behind that will be forever unknown to me. Maybe he just guessed from the way I used to clean at home that this pile was intentional.
Now to choose a wonderful cereal to satisfy my Saiyan appetite. I had a nice little assortment of them, due to the fact that cooking for breakfast wasn’t one of my favorite pastimes. Cereal was always easy to make. What to eat, what to eat…hmm…something without flavor might serve me nice. But then, I hated those flavorless things…and I hadn’t the willpower to add fruits and stuff to my breakfast. Too much slicing was involved. After a brief struggle, I finally decided to combine a few boxes and see what I came up with. That was ultimately decided to be a mistake. I got pretty sick after that. No throwing up was involved this time, though. Just massive stomach pains.
Now, I had decided not to eat anything for at least two days. Eating didn’t seem to serve me very well at the moment. I knew I’d only last until dinnertime, but I still made my decision and thought there was a chance of me sticking to it. A slim chance, but a chance nonetheless.
After I showered and dressed and was sure I was appropriate to go to my uncle’s house, I just went back to my little perch on the couch to watch a little bit of television. I mean, I wasn’t about to spend my entire morning panicking about stuff I couldn’t control. My dreams about Goten had severely altered my opinion from that of the victim to just an observer. No matter what Trunks did to me, I could always run to Goten. I had to keep telling myself that for a while, but eventually I grew to accept it and believe it. My world didn’t revolve around the purple-haired wonder. I didn’t have to throw my whole future into his stupid actions. I was fine without him before, and I could survive again if I had to.
TV was boring. TV always bored me out of my mind. I thought maybe I should call Bra and make sure everything was cool. Everything was going the way it was intended to, I mean. So I did. I picked up the phone and dialed at the speed of light.
“Hello?” answered a groggy and tired voice that I immediately recognized.
“Hey, Bra,” I greeted cheerfully. “What’s up?”
“Pan?” I heard a muffled yawn, and then my friend continued her rant. “Do you have any idea what time it is? It’s too early to be happy. My brother’s using you. Now be grumpy like you’re supposed to.”
I laughed. “I know your brother’s using me. And don’t think I care, because I learned that it’s my fate. I knew early on not to expect anything, so I’m not. Now, I just wanted to make sure everything’s still on. Are we still going?”
“I think,” she yawned again. “Trunks is awake, and he keeps pacing in my room and complaining…about…um, something that I never listen to.”
During that sentence, her voice went from tired to slightly panicked. I wondered what was wrong. So, I asked.
“Nothing’s wrong,” she growled. “You’re just taking this too well. Stop being happy, damn it! I want to hear you yell or something!”
“I can’t yell,” I explained. “See, I’ve gotten used to this whole ‘Pan being used by the man of her dreams’ bit, and I don’t think it’s as bad as it seemed from the beginning.”
“You’re just trying to evade the initial heartbreak phase.”
“Huh?”
She sighed in exasperation. “The initial heartbreak phase. When you find out something like this, you automatically get down and depressed. You’ve somehow managed to skip that part to the denial stage. But it just makes the next one ten times worse. Get mad, Pan. Get really mad.”
“Okay, I’ll admit, I’m mad,” I muttered. “But that doesn’t mean I have to show it.”
“Ah, okay. You’re concealing the heartbreak phase with a hard and uncaring exterior. I hope you know, Trunks is nervous as hell about taking you over there.”
“What?” I asked in surprise. “Why?”
“I don’t know! What am I supposed to do, read the boy’s mind!? Just don’t do anything too drastic until afterward, okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed. “I don’t have anything to do yet, anyway. I figured I’d wait until later to figure that out.”
“That’s good,” she breathed. “I’m sure you can think of something during the day. Trunks said he’ll come to your apartment…later. What do you mean, later? Oops…um, hold on, Pan.”
“Huh?” I stared at the phone. Was he sitting right there while she was talking? No, I told myself, he probably just came in. There’s no way she’d have said all that with him right there listening. Yeah, that was it.
After a few muffled noises, Bra got back on the phone. “Are you ready to go right now?” she inquired.
“Yep. I’m trying to kill time.”
“Do you have any clue what hour of the morning it is?”
“Nope,” I confessed. “What time is it?”
“It’s only eight AM, Honey. Go back to sleep. Goten’s not awake by now, I guarantee it.”
“Sure he is,” I argued. “Marron’s over there. He wouldn’t be asleep if she made breakfast.”
There were a few seconds of silence. “What do you mean, Marron’s over there?” she asked in a death tone.
I fidgeted uncomfortably. She sounded homicidal. “She promised him she’d not leave his side until he was fully recovered from the food poisoning. You know Marron; she felt guilty. It’s nothing like that.”
“Oh,” she breathed. “Thank you, Dende. I was gonna say…”
“I know, it came across wrong. I apologize.”
“You should,” she chuckled, now relieved it wasn’t what she thought. “Shame on you for making, ah…me assume such vile things.”
“I said I’m sorry,” I said in a mock-annoyed tone. “What more do you want!?”
“I want you…not to hurt my brother? Maybe? If you can?”
I sighed. “You’re acting really weird this morning, Bra, and I’m hoping it’s only because you’re not a morning person.”
“You know me. I hate mornings.”
Really? I thought smugly. Last I heard, you were the ‘annoying’ one, always waking everyone else up when you wanted your breakfast… But I didn’t openly accuse her of anything. Losing one friend would suit me for the day. “So, is Trunks around? Anywhere? By any chance?”
“Umm…he just passed my room. Hold on.”
“WAAH! Wait, I don’t want to talk to him!!”
But it was too late. Bra had already shouted something and Trunks had shouted something back. Before too long, I heard his cautious voice on the phone. “Pan?”
I sighed. I didn’t want to talk to him. “Hi, Trunks. What’s up?”
“Um…nothing…”
“Are you coming here to get me or should I go myself?”
“No, she--uh, I mean, I’m coming there. Because, um, Bra said to.”
I sighed again. He was so frantic now that the plan was in action. “Okay. When?”
“Ummmmm…now?”
“Okay. Then come on, what are we waiting for?”
“Nothing! I mean, I don’t know. Nothing?”
I shook my head. “Trunks, you’re weird.”
“Heheh…yeah. Pan?”
“What?”
“Um…I have something to kinda tell you…so don’t--”
“TRUNKS GIVE ME THAT PHONE!” I heard Bra shout. Trunks cried out in pain and soon I was talking to his sister again. “Heheh…um, Mom needs the phone. I guess he’ll see you there, huh? Bye!”
“But wait!” I cried, but too late. I was already hung up on and getting an earful of dial tone. I slammed the phone back to the table, unfortunately destroying the table under the force. “Damn it!!”
What did he want to say!? Something important, it had to be. He was nervous as hell about it, so it had to be important. But no, Bra just couldn’t let him finish that sentence, could she? Of course not. Anything to make poor Pan worry more. I seethed and left the pile of rubble to be cleaned up later…most likely, by my father.
I stalked back into my room, fuming with anger at this point. My phone and my end table were destroyed. By the time this was over, I’d have to buy myself a whole new apartment. Unless it was ended at Goten’s; then I’d have to buy him a new house. I just couldn’t afford it.
As I suspected, before too long there was a lavender-haired half-Saiyan at my bedroom door. He must have flown at top speed to arrive so soon. He was looking into the room cautiously and trying to smile at me. All I gave him was a death glare. “Sorry,” he said quietly.
“It’s not your fault!” I cried angrily. “It’s my stupid fault! I’ll have to refurnish my office and my living room, and I don’t want to lose my couch! It’s practically new! And Goten’s--that’s too expensive to even dream about replacing!”
His expression softened to that of relief. “Why are you breaking everything in sight, anyway?”
I growled in my throat. I wanted to say, "You," but I couldn’t. Not yet. First we had to get to Goten’s. “I’m having a bad week,” I muttered.
“Is it my fault?”
I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t help but let my heart soften. He was so concerned…Eh, cut it out, Panny! He’s just trying to regain your trust that he’s so obviously lost. “Of course it’s not your fault,” I reassured him. “It’s just…um, with my job and everything…I’ve been stressed.” There. Not a total lie, and still not the complete truth. I could pull this off for another day.
“Okay…well, you want to go? Drive or fly?”
“Fly,” I said immediately. “I left my car at your house with my other clothes. It’s somewhere in Bra’s room.” I lifted a curious eyebrow, giving him my best tell-me-the-truth stare. “What were you gonna say on the phone?”
He paled. “I…um, I’ll tell you when we get there. Okay?”
I sighed. “I guess that’s fair. You know I just might try to kill you on the way, though, to get an answer.” He paled even more, and I couldn’t help but laugh at him. “I’m joking. I’ll wait until my dear uncle is there to save your sorry ass.”
“But the question is, will he?” Trunks muttered under his breath. I became confused at that, but I couldn’t ask him about it. He suddenly brightened and indicated that I go past him and into the living room. “Go now?”
“I guess so,” I growled, leaving the room with him close behind. What was the point in not being vocal about what bothered me anymore? “You’re not gonna get lost, you know. You can walk more than two feet behind me.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
I stepped out onto the balcony and leaned on the railing, turning to face him for a brief moment. I had to close my eyes to resist my sudden impulse urge to kiss him. No, that wouldn’t be good at all. I couldn’t have myself sinking deeper into this than I already was. “Have you been to Goten’s new house?” Trunks shook his head, coming to rest very close to me. “It’s not far away from where Grandma Chichi lives…only about a mile. It’s really nice, and I helped him build it. So be polite and compliment him.”
“Yes, mother,” he teased. I blushed and looked away, just letting him laugh at me for a moment. That precious moment when everything was normal…just the way I wanted it to remain.
What could be the harm? I reasoned to myself. Just an innocent little kiss…but then again, it would get me even more involved…and I can’t have that. Don’t kiss him, Pan. So I took a deep breath and opened my eyes again, only to see him gazing into them. Pan, you are so doomed.
“Go?” he said softly. Just one simple word, and I felt that chill again. It had become all too familiar to me over the past week, and familiar from years back, as well.
“Yes,” I managed to say, without my rush of emotion becoming too obvious. I took to the sky, leaving him on the balcony, still looking into my eyes. “It’s this way…and don’t forget, I built that thing, too, so don’t make fun of it.”
“Wow, you really do sound like my mom today,” he laughed. I turned and started flying, not even looking back to ensure he was following me. Of course he was. What reason did he have to run now? This was what he had aimed for. And I was still in love with him, despite all the reasons not to be.
We flew in total silence. I don’t know how far behind me he was, and I didn’t turn around to find out. I wanted to get him out of my mind by the time we got there. Just one stupid, not-even-romantic action and I was falling for him all over again. I had to tell myself that I didn’t need him over and over. Goten will always be there for you to run to…it’s not worth it to dwell on Trunks…Goten will be there…But no matter how much I tried convincing myself, I always came back to the realization that I was still in love. Damn it!
I eventually got there. No one was outside this time. Goten was undoubtedly still sick. I was still feeling sick, and he’d eaten even more than I had. So he was probably…really sick. I just stood there for a while, staring at the little house, until I heard him land behind me. This was it. The moment I’d been waiting for. I mentally chided myself before he spoke, chided myself for being so stupid. So apt to fall for long-ago loves that suddenly make their reappearance into my life by trying to hurt my family…
“Pan, we don’t have to go in if you don’t want.”
I spun around in surprise. “What do you mean by that?” I asked, slight anger rising in my voice. My ki also changed slightly. I cringed at that, because Marron was out in the yard within seconds. Trunks’ concerned gaze quickly became that of anger, directed toward the blonde who was on her way over.
She cautiously approached us, noting how tense we both were. “Uh, hi Trunks,” she said nervously. He glared at her. “N-nice to…see you again.”
“I’m sure,” he snorted sarcastically. She turned her attention to me after being dismissed so bluntly by her ex.
“Um, Pan,” she said slowly. “You and your…company…can come in if you’d like. Goten’s still a little ill. How are you feeling?”
“Not perfect,” I admitted in an honest attempt to be friendly, though I felt like strangling the demi-Saiyan beside me. “But I poisoned myself again this morning, so I guess it can be expected.”
“Don’t tell me you tried to cook again,” she laughed.
“No, I was actually mixing various dry cereal. I had no idea the results could be so tragic.”
She laughed again, but stopped after noticing the death glare she was receiving from her other guest. “I…think I’ll go in now,” she quickly excused herself. “You two are welcome to come in, Goten’s expecting you.”
“He would be,” Trunks growled as she made her escape. He kept his glare fixed on her until she was completely out of sight. I was about to yell at him for acting like this when his expression suddenly reverted to that of worry and he looked back at me. “I think we should not be here,” he told me.
“What!?” I screeched. “Why? It was your idea, so you’re staying here!”
“No it wasn’t!” he defended.
“What do you mean it wasn’t? I didn’t ask you to come, did I!?”
He sighed, defeated. “Look, Pan…there’s something I have to talk to you about.”
This raised the utmost suspicion in my mind. “Wh-what?”
“Not now,” he said quietly, taking my hands into his. I started to feel a bit faint as he pulled me close to him, resting his forehead on mine and staring worriedly into my eyes. “I promise, I’ll tell you, just after we go in there. And after I quit giving Marron the impression that I hate her.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, my voice barely audible. It sounded a lot to me like we were acting out some sort of plan here…but Trunks wasn’t supposed to know about that…and he definitely wasn’t supposed to request my help in his.
“I told you, I’ll tell you everything after I fix this,” he said. “I think I know what to do, now…besides, it was my fault to begin with, so I guess it’s my job to make everything better. Right?”
I couldn’t find my voice to answer. What was he doing? Make what better? He didn’t know…he’d hate me if he knew…but what was he talking about? I wanted to ask him so badly, but I couldn’t…my voice just ceased working. I tried to speak, and he could tell.
“I’m sorry,” he said, pulling back and dropping my hands. “I swear, it’ll all be better soon. I’ll tell you everything. But just trust me on this.”
I nodded numbly, then followed him up to the house. He hesitated, unsure of whether he was supposed to knock or go in. Marron opened the door before he could do either, smiling cautiously and looking from Trunks to me and back in anticipation. “Come in,” she said melodically, dragging me in and letting Trunks walk himself. She pulled me aside and gave me a questioning stare. I shrugged slightly, indicating not only that I didn’t know, but also that I couldn’t speak. Trunks just went in to say hi to Goten.
Marron and I followed eventually, both very apprehensive. Goten and Trunks were both absorbed in something on TV now. “Um…boys?” I asked timidly, unsure of whether or not the words would actually form in my mouth. They both suddenly snapped to attention, eyes wide with alarm. I found it in myself to laugh, and put on a decent degree of sincerity to go along with it. “Come on now, Trunks. You just got here. There’s no way that box could have sucked you in so easily.”
He smiled sheepishly and moved from his position, frozen in the doorway, to come near me. I inwardly squirmed, but outwardly smiled. “Sorry about that,” he apologized.
I dragged him over to the other couch (the one Goten wasn’t taking up the entirety of) and pushed him down on one side, me taking the other. “What’s going on?” I hissed through gritted teeth, keeping my slightly panicky voice low enough that not even Goten could overhear. He shook his head in a small motion, signaling not to ask right now. I heaved a sigh and continued my charade of being perfectly normal. Not much conversation stirred in the group. No one was acting the way they were supposed to. Goten and I were both surprised, though for subtly different reasons; Marron seemed to be on the verge of panic; Trunks wasn’t acting at all the way we assumed he would. This is bad…this is confusing and bad…
“So,” Marron attempted to start a conversation, “how’s your parents, Pan?”
“Oh…you know them,” I said nonchalantly, trying not to mention anything involving them and Trunks. “Dad keeps cleaning my apartment when I’m not home, and Mom keeps coming to sing me to sleep or something that will remind her of when I was two.”
Goten laughed. “That sounds like my brother,” he confirmed. “How about you, Trunks? Family? New friends used to replace us old ones?”
He smiled wryly. “Um…nope, not that I can recall. Family’s as insane as ever. And I’m antisocial, so--”
“Liar!” I accused. “You’re not antisocial. If you are, then I might as well be a Super Saiyan.”
“Okay then, I don’t get out much.”
“Better.”
“Yeah, ‘cos we all know you’re weak.”
That was it. I picked up the local pillow and whacked him with it, smirking triumphantly. “Shut up,” I commanded, temporarily forgetting any ‘plan.’ This was just me and Trunks, fighting like we used to. Before I left. “I could still take you, no matter how weak I am. You can’t hit a girl.”
“Aw, really? Wanna put some money on that?”
“Of course not!” I cried, whacking him with the pillow again. “I’m poor, remember? I have to refurnish my office and my apartment and, soon, this house!”
“Why my house!?” Goten cried, panicked.
I laughed, turning to look at my uncle. “It’s not really gonna happen, don’t worry. Just something I said earlier.”
“Thank the current Kami,” he breathed, falling back onto his couch. “You had me panicked for a second.”
“I could tell.” I turned back around and pointed an accusing finger at Trunks. “We’ll finish this later, mister. And we’ll see who’s the weak one.”
“Umm, food anyone?” Marron offered nervously.
“Yes!” Trunks volunteered. Goten and I just groaned.
“No, please not,” I begged, clutching my still-aching stomach. “I’m not eating anything for at least two days.”
“Same here,” Goten dismissed. “Or, half a day for me.”
Marron struggled to smile, her eyes glazing over with what looked like distress. I wondered what she had to be distressed about, but she spoke before I had the chance to ask her. “Trunks, will you come with me then?”
Goten instantly flared, his ki kept in check and his eyes darting dangerously from Marron to Trunks, who looked surprised that Marron would request such a thing. I stayed silent and waited for a response. “Okay,” he said slowly, getting up from his perch beside me. I cast him a worried glance, but he didn’t even seem to notice. He was entirely focused on Marron. The two of them left the room, going to the kitchen and leaving my uncle and me greatly confused.
I looked to Goten, fighting the panic that welled up in my heart. “Uncle?” I said timidly, fearing his response would be worse than mine.
He remained silent, simply looking to me with sadness and confusion in his expression. “I don’t get it,” he said after a while. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know, Uncle Goten,” I whimpered, going over and snuggling next to him on his couch. He fidgeted a little, moving so that we could comfortably cradle each other and try to make sense of all this. “Everything’s really weird. I don’t know what’s going on…”
He wrapped his arms protectively around me, making me feel safe. It was almost like having my father shield me from all the bad in the world, only more soothing when Goten did it. He just held me close, silently telling me that everything would be all right. I clung to him like he was my last hope in the world…because, in a way, he was. The only one who could see my pain and confusion and everything that I wanted to go away was him. He didn’t say a word, but I knew what he meant.
I sniffled a little, wiping away the tears that had formed in my eyes. “I love you, Uncle. You know that, right?”
“Yeah,” he said softly, stroking my hair just like my mother would. “Like I said, Panny, you can always run to me. I promise.”
“I know,” I sniffed. “It’s just so…confusing, Uncle. I can’t understand it…Trunks said he’d make everything okay again…but how does he know something’s wrong? I didn’t think I was that obvious…”
“Don’t worry about it,” Goten reassured me. “If he can’t make it better, I will. Okay?”
I smiled into his chest, using his shirt to dry my tears. “Okay. Thanks.”
“Whoa,” I heard Marron say. I turned my head so that I was still clinging to my uncle, but also looking Marron in the face. She and Trunks were standing there, looking slightly worried. “If you two weren’t related, I might get the wrong idea with this little scene.”
“Oh, really?” Goten laughed, successfully masking any hard feelings toward the two. “What makes you say that? Is your mind in need of a cleansing, too?”
“Of course not!” she cried, turning slightly red. My uncle and I laughed and I pulled myself away from him, still occupying part of his couch. Once she recovered from her minor embarrassment, though, she grew very serious. “Trunks and I have something to tell you both,” she said quietly, looking to him nervously. He looked equally nervous, but kept his worried eyes fixed on me.
This couldn’t be good. Anything that involved that look of guilt was bound to end up badly. I subconsciously drew nearer to my uncle, so he could protect me in the event that my world was shattered.
“But we can’t tell you just yet,” Trunks stated. “We have to wait for someone. I already called her and she said she’ll be here soon. Do you…um, not want to talk to us until she gets here?”
“That would be very good, thank you,” I managed to get out. “You two can go wait outside. Me and Goten will stay here.”
He looked hurt, but he deserved it. So I didn’t regret quite so much what I was going to do to him later. “That’s fair,” he said apologetically. “Marron?”
“Yeah,” she responded, making her way toward the door. “You guys, it’s not what you think, okay?”
“Whatever,” I spat angrily. “See you when your ‘mystery guest’ shows up.”
Now they both looked hurt and guilty. Without another word, though, they left the house. Marron hesitated in the doorway, looking Goten over with worry. She breathed a light sigh and followed Trunks out of the house. I watched through the window as they sat at the table that had been set up the previous day, always looking back to the house. Concern laced their features, and they occasionally spoke to each other. But for the most part, they were silent, scanning the skies and waiting for ‘her’ to show up.
Eyes locked on them--locked on him--I fought the urge to once again cry to my uncle. So many strange emotions stirred up in the span of a morning, all invoked by the same seemingly harmless lavender-haired man outside. I just wanted to throw up. Mostly because of him…
But also, I’m sure, because of the food poisoning I’d endured on the previous day.
This much pain couldn’t possibly be wreaked by him.
Could it? I wondered, still gazing out the window. His eyes averted from the sky and locked on mine, a visible sigh rising in his chest. Eyes that were filled with regret and pain locked on mine…remained locked there for only a few seconds. But, like the few seconds always seemed to be, it was enough. Was he trying to kill my happiness by summoning the help of Marron and this unseen visitor that would soon show her face?
I hoped not. Because there was no doubt in my mind that he could. Even after all this, I still found myself in love. Hopeless.
I prayed to Dende or whoever else chose to listen that he didn’t want to hurt me, and that whatever he and Marron were being so secretive about wasn’t enough to kill me. If it was, I’d certainly be doomed.
Chapter 10
One Simple Little Wish
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