[begin flashback: we return to Monday, a week before yesterday..]
"Hey Todd." Laying on a park bench, staring up at the trees, she snatched his hand as he walked by with a girlish smile.
"Hey, Lizzard." Todd sat on his knees beside the bench, kissing her cheek.
"You shouldn't... This isn't a good place. Everyone's just over there," she protected less than half-heartedly, still smiling.
"You're right." He laid a hand on her swollen stomach, eyes twinkling carelessly. "Girl? Boy? You were going to find out today, right?"
"Boy!" she squeaked, then impulsively sat up and hugged him. Almost immediately she moved away from him, her face shadowed with guilt. "This has to stop."
"Yeah, it does," Todd agreed solemnly. They both glanced subconsciously at the cluster of people several yards off.
"Do we have a show tonight?" she asked. He nodded.
"How long are you going to keep playing?" he asked teasingly.
"Until I can't. Forever."
"Whatever you say." The weather today was pleasant by his standards... around 80 degrees, not too sunny. Lia, Todd, Thalia, Clio, Chris, and Liz, or Lizza, as most of them called her, would usually hang out here every day before their almost nightly shows in the basement of a local club. Chris was usually there, even though he wasn't part of the band. Todd had the very faintest feeling of resentment for him, then reminded himself that Chris and Lizza were engaged, after all. "We should go somewhere. Ya know, get some dinner or something before we play."
"Sounds good." She stood up and walked unnoticed with Todd to his car, his arm sneaking around her waist.
"Todd..." He looked at her attentively. "I feel really horrible. Chris... He could never comprehend. He'd never dream of anything like..." They'd had this conversation before, always mutually agreeing that they shouldn't be any more than friends, but somehow it never got past just saying. She sighed. Maybe she would have felt different if she'd chosen to marry Chris instead of letting her mom talk her into it, or if she and Chris weren't going to be parents in just under three months. "I've been thinking about it for a while. No more after tonight." Todd glanced sidelong at her and spoke after a few seconds.
"You're right. That's the only thing to do."
"This is hard," Liz said, her voice bearing a hint of a whine.
"We'll manage," he said, trying unsuccessfully to assure her.
"Only it won't be we. It's going to be me and Chris. I wouldn't say that out loud if I wasn't sure that it hits me as hard as it does you." Todd nodded understandingly.
"There's still this evening. You had better not ruin it by looking sad the whole time." He grinned jokingly, opening the car door for Liz. She sat in the car, one hand resting on her abdomen. "Where shall we go?"
"Ah... anywhere," she replied as usual.
...later...
They ended up in the usual place as well, a little restaurant/bar owned and run by an Irish family. It had really been a very normal day. The restaurant was another typical hanging-out spot for Lizza's crowd and they were acquainted with everyone who worked there.
"Anything to drink, Liz?" At the familiar voice, she looked up from a half-eaten plate of fries.
"No, thanks, Will. You know I'm not touching any of that stuff til my baby's born." She couldn't suppress her grin.
"Just wondering. Todd looks like he's having fun over there."
"Yeah, he hardly ever sees those guys from high school anymore," Liz observed, smiling blissfully. She suddenly leaned over the bar and hugged Will.
"What was that for?" he whined. "You're choking me!"
"You idiot! I'm having a boy!" She slapped the side of his head.
"Congrats. Are you sure you don't want anything to drink?"
"Yes, now bug off." Liz waved at Todd. He smiled back, the same genuine smile she'd adored since her junior year in college, then waved Will over. Eventually, Todd walked over.
"Ya think we should leave pretty soon, Lizzy? We have to meet the rest of the group in forty-five minutes."
"Yeah, and we need to stop at my apartment so I can get my drumsticks and change clothes."
"Okay, then." He offered her his hand and she stepped off the bar stool.
"Haven't seen those guys for a while," she commented as they walked to his car.
"It's been forever! Well, I dunno. A year, maybe."
"Yeah, Todd. Forever," she said sarcastically. He smiled at her and she smiled back, then remembered Chris and sighed very softly, leaning her head against the window. She could tell from the way Todd drove that he'd had a drink or two, but the drive to her apartment was short and there were almost no cars on the road. She would never have let him drive if she thought it wasn't safe.
"Here we are..." he said, parking in front of her building. Todd noticed as he got out of his car that the ground seemed just a little unsteady, but brushed it aside. He'd had a few beers. That was okay. He'd ask Raelyn to drive when she'd changed and gotten whatever she needed for the show, he decided as they walked inside. Raelyn found some clothes that would work, changed into them, and started searching for her drumsticks. When she couldn't find them after a few minutes, Todd helped, but they had apparently disappeared.
"This might be a bad thing," she mused.
"Does anyone have another set?"
"I think they might. There might be some with our stuff at the club."
"Should we risk going now and finding out?"
"I'd call, but the others probably aren't there yet. I don't know where they'd be."
"Here's the phone..." He handed her the portable. "You could try calling Lia's." Lia, not quite who you might expect of someone with bright blue hair, was almost the only person they knew who had a "real" job, so her rather nice apartment was often a favorite place to go when Lia wasn't at work.
"Umm." She stared at the phone uncomfortably, not really wanting to call anyone. Todd chose that moment for another one of his unexpected hugs. It was one of Liz's favorite things about him, completely random, but knowing it would probably be one of her last random hugs from Todd was depressing. She stood there, phone in hand, rather stiffly.
"Something wrong?" He looked hurt.
"Wrong? Umm, yes," she said with more than a hint of sarcasm, wishing it had been obvious.
"Damnit." Todd turned away from her and walked past her to look moodily out a window, his shoulder knocking her a few inches back into the wall. She stared after him, trying to decide if it had been accidental or not. Without warning he spun back around, grabbing her wrist. "Do you think I don't know something ... everything's wrong with this?"
"Todd." Lizza pulled out of his grasp. "I'm sorry, but there's honestly no need to freak out, okay?"
"No need?!" His hand was on her shoulder now, just a little too tight. "You're telling me this?" Liz shrugged her shoulders, a little intimidated.
"Whatever..." She wanted to tell him not to get mad but decided that would be whining.
"Whatever. That's what you always say. What does it mean?"
"Nothing.. it doesn't mean anything. I, uh, I'm calling Lia's. Someone's probably there." There you go, Lizzy, she thought. Whining again.
"You are not," he said with emphasis. "Stop trying to change the subject, okay?"
"No. Don't tell me what to do," she snapped.
"I'll do whatever I want to," he muttered under his breath.
"What the hell?" Lizza stopped dialing, more than a little pissed off. "Todd, I don't know how drunk you are but it's no excuse. Maybe you should leave. I'll get a ride with someone else." She was met with a sound slap across her mouth and wasn't anywhere close to being above hitting back, but she hadn't wondered if it would only provoke Todd more.
[end flashback] ... Hands on the side of her face, Liz mentally skimmed over the rest of that episode, then shuddered as she briefly remembered waking up at some time early in the morning and passing out again until six. Her mother had been only too glad to call Alyssa and arrange for her to live in Florida, call Chris's family and fill them in on the events of the last few months, specifically the last day, and then ship her off on an airplane. She'd saved all her motherly worries about Lizza for until she was out of state. Liz didn't blame her. The last week may as well have been a dream. She couldn't decide if it would have been an improvement over everything she'd moved away from or not. The choice might have been obvious, but then there was everything with Chris and Todd, the entire mess she'd gotten herself into, the extent to which she'd embarrassed and upset her parents, and of course that one other thing. Lizza remembered exactly what her mother had said to her. "Lizzie, it just wouldn't work. It.. you know. It'd be better if you're not here. There's already this whole embarrassment with you and Todd, then of course people would ask 'wasn't Liz pregnant? And I thought she and Chris were getting married?' You don't want to stick around for that, do you?" Embarrassment, ouch. Sorry, Liz, you're an embarrassment. Off to Florida with you, now. Liz knew somewhere in her consciousness that she'd really done it to herself. The only part she couldn't get her mind around was that she wasn't having her baby. Her son, she corrected. She had wanted to name the baby Joseph if it were a boy, and Chris had wholeheartedly agreed. They had chosen a pretty, spacious apartment to move into after they were married. It was a lot like Lizza's at the time, but bigger, and with a few minor differences. "The stucco walls you have now look really great," Chris had said, "but maybe not the best idea for a house with a baby, ya know? It's kind of easy to get scraped on." 'Yup,' she agreed. 'Easy. Definitely easy.' She was always hitting her back with her hairbrush and wincing afterwards. She breathed in, then noticed that her cheeks felt wet.. That's right. She was crying. Liz abruptly snapped out of her daydream.
"Liz?... " Brian tried to get her attention, his voice barely above a whisper. After searching for a good ten minutes, he'd finally tracked down and captured Susie, only to return to Liz's room. She hadn't moved from where he'd left her. She was leaning forward against her knees, holding her hair out of her face with one hand. Her other hand rested on the floor, clenched tightly. Hesitantly, Brian picked up her hand and instantly her fingers loosened.
"I'm sorry..." She didn't really want to bother him with any of her problems.
"It's okay," he said quietly, taking the chance of putting an arm around her shoulders.
Liz didn't try to make herself stop crying. After several minutes, she realized Brian was still sitting with her. Alyssa's right. He's such a sweet guy. She noticed that he was leaning against her, then that he was sleeping.
"Yeah... You did seem kind of tired," she mused quietly. "Tonight, and the time I saw you before that. Even the first time you were here. Brian, do you ever sleep?" She was hoping he wouldn't wake up, and he didn't. Liz was fairly sure she should wake up Brian so he could leave, but somehow felt too lethargic to do anything. It was enough just to fall asleep.