The door closed.
"Bye," Liz repeated quietly. Susie stared at her, her canine face betraying anger and sadness. "Poor Susie." She tried to scratch Susie's head but the little Boston Terrier snorted and ran under a couch. "Fine then." Liz went upstairs. Braeden's door was unlocked, so she let Tyke out. Tyke turned out to be much more companionable than Susie. Emma, Ivy, and Braeden were still asleep, so Liz put Ivy in her crib and retired to the bedroom that was beginning to feel like it was hers. She brushed her teeth, then soaked a few cotton balls in astringent and stood in front of the bathroom mirror mopping foundation off her face. Was he staring at me? No, you paranoid fool. Not when you're using up a bottle of this shit every week.She picked up a foundation bottle from the counter and held it up to the light. It was more than half-empty. I'm probably using a lot more than I need to. He was staring at me. I know he was. He was not. Was too. Was not... He was kind of nice. He seemed like he'd be nicer if he weren't depressed and tired. Not that he wasn't really nice. Let's leave it at that for now. Forever. At least until you've put Chris out of your head. She yawned, pulled a brush through her hair, and went to bed, hoping to sleep. Of course, as always, she had no such luck. She more or less forced herself to stay awake at night. It was like a focus on holding her breath. Lying still with nothing to do made it harder. Talking to dear old Mum doesn't help either. Does she call just to bother me? I sometimes wonder if she calls because she's actually worried about me, or if she's still angry. Most likely both. Maybe she's just calling me to revel in the knowledge that she's always right about everything. Still in love with Chris? God, I don't know. Did I ever love Chris? After staring numbly into the dark for an hour or so, Liz finally drifted off to sleep.
"LIZZY! Wake up! Wake up, Liz!" Braeden leapt onto Liz's bed, cradling Tyke. "Me and Tyke want breakfast! Can we go swimming today? Huh? Can we? Lizza! Wake up!"
"You're up early, sweetie," Liz commented, yawning. She shook her head, letting her hair fall over the side of her face, and got out of bed. "I'm going to wash my face, then we can get breakfast and talk about what we're going to do today."
"Okay! Where's Susie? I wanna play with Susie!"
"She was hiding in a cabinet last night. I think she misses Brian," Liz said as she shut the door of the bathroom. She put her hair in a ponytail, washed her face, and put some foundation on. As she walked back into her room, she heard Ivy talking to herself. "Ivy's awake!"
"Yeah. Me and Tyke woke her up to say good morning. Emma too, but she said she wants her beauty rest and go away." Tyke squirmed and she sat him on the floor. "Tyke's happy today. Tyke loves me."
"That he does," Liz agreed, smiling as she walked into Ivy's room. Ivy reached out her chubby arms to Liz from her crib. "Ivy!! Sleep well?" She picked her up and gave her a hug.
"Cat!" Ivy pointed at the doorway.
"Say dog, Ivy. Can you say dog?"
"Cat!!!" Ivy pointed at Braeden, who held Tyke up as she walked in. Liz knocked on Emma's door as she walked down the hallway.
"Time to wake up, young lady," she called gently.
"I'm awake!" Emma opened the door. She had already gotten dressed and brushed her hair, and obviously felt very grown-up wearing the shimmery lip gloss Sarah had bought for her.
"What do we all want for breakfast today?"
"Cookies!" Ivy yelled.
"Cookies," Braeden agreed in seriousness.
"Pancakes and apple slices and chocolate milk," Emma said decisively.
"I dunno about cookies, but Emma's choice sounds good. We also have cereal-"
"I want cereal!" Braeden interrupted.
"And we have watermelon-"
"I want watermelon!" Braeden said. Liz laughed.
"You ate watermelon and cookies for dinner last night."
"Oh..." Braeden looked thoughtful. "Are there leftovers?"
"Braeden, you can't have cookies for breakfast," Emma said sternly.
"Why not?" Braeden pouted.
"CAT!" Ivy cried wildly, spotting Susie perched serenely on a couch in the living room.
"Here.. Go play with the cat." Liz sat Ivy on the floor and watched her try to walk, tumble over, then crawl with uncanny speed to the couch and wave at Susie.
After they had eaten breakfast and Liz had fed Tyke and Susie, the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Liz Hamilton?" It was an unfamiliar woman's voice.
"Um, that's me."
"Hey, it's Alyssa!"
"Oh!! Hi."
"How've things been going for you and the kids?"
"Great. Everything's going really really well," Liz answered, her voice full of the satisfaction that came from her last and only chance at some semblance of a normal life having worked out so well.
"I'm so glad to hear that! I was just calling to check in. Could I talk to Em?"
"Of course. Emma? Your mom's on the phone." Emma shrieked and leapt for the phone, but Braeden got it first.
"Hi Mommy!" Braeden chirped. "Emma's trying to take the phone away!" Emma succeeded in getting the telephone from Braeden.
"Hi. Uh huh. Uh huh... Brian came over," Emma said, a bashful grin spreading over her features. Two days ago. He had a letter for you about something and he had to go to Kentucky 'cause his grandma's sick. We're babysitting his dogs! Uh huh. Okay. What? Yeah!!!! Okay. Bye Mommy." She handed the phone to Braeden.
"Hi. Yeah. Tyke and Susie. Ivy thinks they're cats. She can't learn dog. What? Yeah. I want to go! With Sarah? Okay. Wanna talk to Lizza? Okay. Bye." Braeden gave the phone back to Liz.
"Hey," Liz said, wondering what Braeden had been referring to when she said she wanted to go.
"I hear you and Brian met." Alyssa sounded happy.
"Yeah, we did. Once he came by looking for you, and the second time he left a note since he didn't know when you'd be back and he had to go out of state."
"He's a nice guy, isn't he."
"I guess so. It's hard to say. I don't really know him." Liz didn't want to form any opinions about Brian yet aside from the knowledge that he was nice.
"Yeah. Anyway... I'm sure you remember Sarah?"
"Yeah?"
"She's taking her daughter and son to their beach house for a few days, for her son's birthday, and she offered to bring Emma and Braeden with her. It's fine with me if it is with you."
"Definitely. It's your decision. That sounds like a lot of fun for them."
"If you're sure... She's leaving this afternoon. I meant to call you earlier, but I had so many meetings and stuff.."
"It's fine."
"They need clothes for three days and their bathing suits, some sandals and towels. I'm sure you can figure it out. She can pick them up around three. Is that okay?"
"Sure. It's great. I'll miss them, though."
"They're sweet girls. Well, I gotta run. Talk later, Liz."
"Bye," Liz murmured, but Alyssa had already hung up, in her hurry to get to the next meeting or whatever it was that took up every minute of her day. "So, you girls goin' to the beach?" She smiled at Emma and Braeden, who both looked tense from holding in screams of excitement.
"With Callie and Noah! We're going to the beach with Callie and Noah!" Braeden jumped up and down.
"For three days!" Emma added. They both screamed, then ran to their rooms to start choosing clothes.
"Well, it's just gonna be you and me for a while, Ivy." Liz brushed a wisp of Ivy's hair out of her face. "We're gonna have fun, aren't we!"
"Fun! Pool? Swim?" Ivy pointed through the glass door at the pool.
"Maybe in a little while. Let's go help Emma and Braeden pack." Liz walked upstairs.
The rest of the day passed quickly. Liz was surprised by how quiet the house was with only the company of Ivy, Tyke, and Susie. She smiled, remembering how Braeden had promised to write a letter to Tyke every day. It didn't matter that she couldn't write yet. It was just after sunset now, about 9:30, and Liz was sitting thoughtfully in the living room while Ivy quietly played with a toy firetruck.
"Emma?" Ivy hadn't quite mastered saying 'Braeden' yet, so she usually used the name 'Emma' for either of her sisters.
"Emma and Braeden are going to the beach with Callie and Noah," Liz replied, watching Ivy as her face fell. She looked for a second as if she would start crying but Tyke approached them, panting contentedly.
"Cat! Caaaat!" Ivy called Tyke, but he seemed rather wary of her, so she crawled after him and he outran her, going up the stairs. "Byeee!" Ivy called after Tyke's retreating form. She looked at Liz inquisitively. "Beach?"
"No, Tyke's just going upstairs. Hey, there's Susie. See, Ivy?" Liz saw Susie hiding in the dark recesses of the space underneath an armchair, staring out petulantly.
"Cat!" Ivy tried to run to Susie but tripped over her nightgown, looking at Liz expectantly until she gave in and picked her up.
"Now that I've got you, it's about time for bed, ya know," Liz informed Ivy, who understood the daily routine enough to know that she had to go to bed soon.
"NO! No! No! No!" she yelled, trying to throw herself out of Liz's arms to no avail. Seeing that she wasn't getting anywhere with this fight, Ivy got smart and dumped some apple juice from her cup on Liz's face.
"Eww!! That was low, Ivy!" Liz spluttered, laughing in spite of herself. Ivy giggled. "You still can't win. You're up later than you're supposed to be and now it's sleepy time." That statement only got her more apple juice, this time in her hair. "Okay, this is getting nasty. Oh, jeez. That was SO not the doorbell ringing! Ivy, you changeling!" She approached the door very cautiously, then opened it. "Brian! Hey." [Note to the reader. Was there any chance that it would be anyone else?]
"Hey Liz..."
"Here, come in. Ivy's been assaulting me and I need to wash some apple juice off my face. I'll just take a second."
"Okay..."
"You too!!" Ivy yelled at him over Liz's shoulder.
"Yeah, you can come upstairs if you want..." Liz could tell he was upset about something, and instantly thought of his grandmother. He hesitated to follow Liz into her room, then she turned around and held Ivy out to him.
"Could you hold this little savage while I wash my face and try to keep her from throwing apple juice everywhere?"
"Sure." He half-smiled his greetings to Ivy. Liz threw some water on her face. Normally at this time, she would have forgotten about the makeup, but since Brian was there, she resignedly dumped some foundation into the palm of her hand and started dabbing it onto her cheeks.
"Cat!! CAT!" she heard Ivy shriek. She hadn't shut the door completely, and suddenly Tyke catapulted himself in, seeking sanctuary from Ivy, and Ivy tried to follow but Brian caught her at the door. Liz quickly wiped her hand off on a washcloth and retrieved Tyke, then went back into her room.
"Sorry. I, uh.. I'm not... like... a makeup addict or something, just.." Lizza dear, you have succeeded in getting yourself into an exceedingly awkward situation.
"That?" Brian asked apologetically, indicating a barely perceptible bruise on her cheekbone, his fingertip close to her face but not touching. Ugh, he can see it. This really really sucks.
"Yeah." She changed the subject quickly, sitting on the floor as if she felt at ease. "So, what brings you here?"
"Uhh..." He was slightly surprised at her reaction, then he wasn't. "I got back tonight... Didn't think you'd want those dogs around forever."
"It's fun taking care of them." Liz, thoroughly uneasy now, picked up Ivy as she crawled around on the floor looking for trouble, then released her again when she started squirming and fidgeting. I'm just going to all-out ignore anything he asks."How'd it go in Kentucky?"
"It was basically how I thought it'd be. My grandmother died the night I got there, so..." He shrugged.
"That's hard. I'm sorry." She gave him a quick hug, something she probably wouldn't have done if her attention weren't diverted by her efforts to regain a firm hold on the present. What does he think? Hopefully he doesn't care. It's just a freaking bruise, you can get a bruise anywhere. Anywhere? Yes, anywhere damnit! But where did Liz get hers?
"...Liz? Are you listening?" He looked pained.
"Sorry, yeah. What were you saying?" She'd missed everything he'd said.
"I don't know. I don't even know what I'm saying, isn't that crazy?" He almost laughed then suddenly it wasn't funny anymore. He'd decided to ask, and he was definitely not going to let himself leave without asking another time. "I'll just get to the point, then you can throw me out."
"What?" Somebody is under a lot of stress.
"..." Brian saw that the bathroom door was still open, and there was a mirror visible on the bathroom wall and a mirror behind him. Looking in the mirror in the bathroom, he could still see the sets of fingerprint bruises. If Liz would look in the mirror on the wall of her room at the reflection of the mirror in the bathroom, she would be able to see them too. [Author thought about this for a long time. It works.] He walked up to the mirror and pointed at the rows of fingerprints. "How'd you get those?"
"Oh. Those." This just keeps getting worse and worse. Disliking the feeling of being watched, Liz moved so she wasn't reflected in either of the mirrors, as far as she could tell. She groped for the right words. "It happened a long time ago. Nothing to worry over."
"A long time ago?" He would have hated to see those marks a long time ago if they were still visible a long time later.
"It's over, basically, is what I meant to say. Umm, it's way past Ivy's bedtime. I'll be right back." She scooped Ivy up, gently hushing her protests, and walked to her room. When Liz had put Ivy in bed and returned, Ivy cried for about thirty seconds then was quiet.
"She's a cute baby," Brian commented, trying to break the uncomfortable silence.
"She's a real sweetheart," Liz agreed with forced serenity.
"I've always liked babies," he mused. Liz nodded. Without meaning to do anything, Brian was making things a lot harder for Liz. Things? What things? This no-thinking thing? Yeah, that thing.
"I bet Tyke went under the bed again." She laid on her side on the floor by her bed and looked under it. "Yeah.. He's right there. He never goes very far to hide." While she continued watching Tyke, Brian moved a little closer, wondering if Tyke was pissed off at him for leaving. He found himself looking at her fingerprint-bruises again. Liz could tell she was being watched. "What is it?" she asked tersely.
"Nothing. Why?"
"I dunno. For a second it just felt like someone was watching me." Liz wondered if she sounded like a psycho.
"I, uh.. I'm really sorry if I was being a pain in the ass when I asked about those bruises." She gave no sign of hearing him. "I noticed them before I left the other day and it's been kind of at the back of my mind since then." He just wanted to make sure things were okay. He wouldn't be able to leave worrying about it, wouldn't want to leave Liz in that kind of situation or put himself through all that hell again.
"You weren't. It's okay." There was nothing else to say.
"Still don't know when Alyssa's getting back?" Brian changed the subject yet again.
"No. I guess she has a lot of stuff to do there. Em and Braeden are going to one of their friends' beach houses for a few days."
"So it's just you and Ivy."
"Yeah... Braeden's been trying really hard to teach her to say 'dog.' She promised to write Tyke a letter every day she was gone."
"She's a sweet little kid." Brian, are you doing this on purpose? No, of course you aren't. How stupid could I be? Really really stupid. A lot stupider than thinking he's purposely talking about all the wrong things. Despite all her best efforts, an unwanted tear rolled down Liz's cheek. She felt numb, somehow removed from everything. Brian stared intently at the carpet, tracing lines in it with his fingers. Liz was facing away from him, seemingly still looking under the bed. He looked up in momentary confusion at the strangled-sounding sob. "Liz...?" No answer. "If I did something wrong I'm sorry. Should I leave?"
"Whatever you wanna do." She forced herself to sit up. "Susie's probably in the kitchen. Sorry I'm freaking out like this. It's nothing..." She took a deep breath. "It's nothing you said or- or did." She couldn't quite bring herself to tell him go away, and didn't even try to tell herself she didn't want him to stay there. Brian was unsure of what to do, but somehow felt that it was something he'd said or done that had upset her. He hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder.
"What's up?" It had become painfully apparent to him just in the last minute or so that something was going on with Liz. She shrugged her shoulders miserably.
"Nothing!" Liz insisted. She took her right hand off her face and stared at her hand, torn between punching the floor and pulling on her hair. "I'm fine." Good job, Liz. Obvious lie there. "Close enough, anyway."
"Just wondering," he said, gently letting her know that he didn't believe she was fine, but her not wanting to talk about it would be okay. Furious with herself for crying, Liz wiped tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand.
"It's kind of ... old news." Eight whole days, wow, Liz. That's really impressive. Sure is old news. "Thanks, though."
"Sure." His hand lingered on her shoulder for a moment then he stood up. "I'm going to see if I can find Susie."
"Okay, good idea," Liz said in a forced voice. "Just a minute, I'll be right there." Brian nodded and walked out into the hallway and downstairs, thinking that Susie might be in the kitchen as she had said. Watching Brian leave, Liz felt tears brimming in her eyes again and was surprised that she didn't even feel like hitting anything. She wasn't trying to keep thoughts back anymore, but she didn't have to try. Occasionally memories would light up in her mind like a dysfunctional slide show, in reverse chronological order. Braeden and Emma leaving, earlier today... Alyssa's phone call this morning... The last two days, with Tyke and Susie, and Sunday night, the second time Brian had showed up at the door. The two days before that: getting to know Alyssa's daughters, Brian's quick visit on Thursday. The two days she'd had to herself.... those were the worst. Liz was glad she didn't have to walk around talking to herself all day anymore. The plane ride to here from home, another experience she wouldn't want to repeat. The plane ride had been nothing in comparison to the day before that. Tuesday. Probably the worst day of her life. Or would that have been Monday? [Okay class! It's flashback time, yippee!]