"Howie?" Shayna had thought of something.
"Yeah?" Howie panicked. He could tell she had remembered she was supposed to leave.
"Are we really in Minneapolis?"
"Yeah…" Howie said sheepishly.
"I HAVE TO CATCH A PLANE BACK TO NORTH CAROLINA TONIGHT!" Shayna spazzed.
"Oh no." Howie said.
"Where are we going, anyway?" Tara wondered. Rose was driving, trying to remember why she hadn't asked Brian what hotel they were staying at or something. They were now in Minneapolis, after driving for quite a long time. "Do you even KNOW?"
"Umm.." Rose frowned. "Um." Tara sighed.
"All that eyeliner must be affecting your brain." Tara smiled evilly.
"Shut up!" Rose laughed.
"Shut up!" Tara giggled, then stopped abruptly, staring at Rose. "Oh no. NO!"
"No!" Rose agreed and swerved so she wouldn't hit a pedestrian.
"Maybe I should drive.." Tara observed.
"No! How are we going to find them? We don't have their numbers or anything." Rose tried not to hit another pedestrian.
"You don't even have your husband's phone number? Jeez Rose." Tara winced and looked back, trying to see if they had missed that pedestrian entirely.
"We left kinda quickly." Rose reminded her and noticed the light was green. Oops. A car honked at her angrily.
"Hey! I see adolescent girls!" Tara pointed happily at the side of the road.
"What, do you WANT me to run people down now?" Rose shook her head.
"You idiot! Where there are adolescent girls, there is either a mall or-"
"Or some guys who can't sing that are deemed 'hot' by the media!" Rose realized.
"Maybe that's their hotel! Park here!" Tara commanded. Rose complied and they got out of the car.
"What's going on?" Rose asked one of the teenyboppers casually.
"Ohmygod! That's the Backstreet Boys' hotel! It is! I SAW them!" The girl screamed. "They canceled their concert tonight! It isn't FAIR!"
"Oh, that sucks." Tara nodded understandingly. They shoved their way through the crowd to the door, and were stopped by security guards.
"What do you think you're doing?" A big scary guy demanded.
"Um, we have reservations." Rose said. "What's the problem? Why can't we go in the hotel? Why are all these little kids here?" The teenies around them screamed indignantly at being called 'little kids.'
"What's your name? I'll check with the desk on those.. reservations." The guy scowled at them.
"Smith." Tara said irritably.
"Yeah, sure." The guy laughed at them.
"What's the problem here?" Ken came out of the hotel looking evil.
"Ken! Hi old buddy!" Rose said loudly.
"You! And YOU! Get out of here!" Ken looked like he was about to have an aneurism.
"Ken! My sister is with those guys and I want her back! You people can't just KEEP my little sister!" Tara glared at him.
"Your sister?" Ken thought of the girl who had been hanging around Howie. Now that he thought about it, she did look a little like the girl standing in front of him.
"Yes my sister! Princess abducted her!" Tara declared.
"Um… come inside." Ken sighed defeatedly. He ushered them inside.
"HEY! Why is he taking THEM to see the Backstreet Boys and not us?!" one of the teenyboppers shrieked.
"Because I-" Rose started to say she was married to Brian then thought better of it.
"Yeah. You value your life, don't you, Rosie." Tara grinned. She knew what Rose had been about to say. "You're still wearing that ring, hm?"
"It won't come off. I told you, it's made for a five-year-old."
"Uh huh. Sure."
"Do YOU wanna try to get it off?" Rose held out her hand as they followed Ken down a hallway.
"I'd NEVER do that!" They got into an elevator. "Oooh, Ken! What floor are they on?"
"Shut up," Ken muttered.
"Are you going to take Kevin's place in the group?" Rose asked curiously.
"NO! Please shut up!" he repeated. Rose and Tara looked at each other and laughed. Ken pushed the button for the seventh floor.
"Lucky number seven! Like, ohmygod!" Tara wheezed and giggled, then stopped laughing abruptly and looked glum.
"What's wrong, Hippo?"
"I don't really want to see Shayna," she admitted. "But we're sending her back home right away, so it's okay."
"Yeah. Right away ..." Rose mused. "That might not go over so well with Howie."
"Then Shayna can take him home with her," Tara concluded.
"Hey! That works!!"
"It does NOT," Ken growled. "You two aren't staying ANY longer than it takes to collect Shayna and LEAVE. You've already done enough towards breaking up this group! You and that girl Erin," he said disgustedly.
"We haven't done ANYTHING!! You bastard!" Tara muttered. The elevator stopped and Ken got out.
"Follow me no matter what, okay? Don't run off merrily for some stupid non-reason," he dictated.
"Bastard," Rose repeated.
"TYK(E) CHAAAAAAAAAAAASE!!!!!" someone yelled, running past them. Another person followed, but clumsily smacked into Tara, and they both fell over.
"No! Leave him alone! Tyk(e)!!! Come back!" a piteous voice yelled from way down the hall.
"TYK(E) CHASE!!" Rose repeated, running off in the direction the other person had gone.
"NO!" Ken shouted, following them at a steady pace. Tara sat up, brushing her 'hip hip' shirt off indignantly.
"That was graceful," she muttered, not looking at her assailant.
"Hippo!!!" AJ threw his arms around her. "I'm so glad to see you!"
"Scary! I missed you so much!" Tara said exaggeratedly. "I'm here to get my Shayna."
"Oh, your Shayna." AJ nodded knowingly. "You'll have to fight Howie to the death for her."
"Will I now. That won't take long... I took out five of your dancers with Rose; Howie shouldn't be hard."
"They're all out clubbing now, but you'd better watch out for them when they get back. They're officially out to get you," he informed her. "You and your heinous blue shirt. It's practically, like, a felony!"
"Fine then!" Tara crossed her arms. "I love this shirt! I don't care if no one else does."
"I like that shirt!!" AJ said quickly.
"Why thank you, darling." Tara smiled kindly. Rose and Nick appeared, having been dragged down the hallway by Ken, who had a firm grip on the collar of Nick's shirt and the hood of Rose's trenchcoat. Tyk(e) was nowhere to be seen.
"You two are UNBELIEVABLE!" Ken exploded. Rose and Nick were smiling stupidly.
"Hi Morticia!" he whispered.
"Hi Baby Spice!" Rose whispered.
"SHUT UP!!" Ken yelled. "Now, where's Howie? We have to find that little girl and give her back to this young lady so you two can get lost once and for all!"
"I don't like you," Tara said bemusedly. Brian ran up to them.
"KEN! What are you doing?! Put my wife down immediately!" he ordered, horrified.
"Tell me where Howie is, then I'll let go of her!" Ken said angrily.
"NO! Ken!!" Brian whined. "That's MEAN!"
"Deal with it!" Ken retorted gruffly.
"Where's Tyk(e)?" Brian asked. Ken looked angrily at Rose and Nick, both of whom shrugged.
"I thought he was around here somewhere. I was about to catch him but then Ken got me," Rose explained.
"I see," Brian said, unconvinced. "Ken! Stop it! Let go of her!" Brian ordered.
"Yeah, Ken. Be nice," AJ coaxed. "You're a nice guy. Just act like it and then people won't think you're a big scary jerk."
"I AM being nice!" Ken stuttered. "I'm saving your career!" Brian grew tired of arguing with him and grabbed Rose around the waist, pulling her away from Ken. Once Rose was free and Nick had struggled out of Ken's grasp, the five of them ran into the elevator and Tara hit a random button, laughing madly.
"Brian! You saved me!" Rose gasped, pretending to swoon. She heard Tyk(e), who had been safely stowed away in a pocket inside her coat, bark, and looked around guiltily.
"But.. you said.." Nick looked at Rose confusedly. "You said Tyk(e) ran off down the hallway!"
"I was lying, Baby." Rose said seriously.
"Tyk(e) has claustrophobia! Let him go!" Brian spazzed. "Where is he, anyway???"
"Rose has him stashed in one of her pockets," Tara guessed.
"NO! I don't!" Rose shouted.
"I don't believe you!" Brian declared, then stole her coat. "Tyk(e) it's okay!!!"
"TARA!" Rose shouted. "He took my coat!" Tara shrugged. Brian found Tyk(e) in one of the pockets of the coat.
"You can't keep our child in your coat, honey," he informed Rose. "Tyk(e) doesn't like small spaces."
"That thing is not my CHILD!" Rose declared.
"Is too!" Brian retorted.
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!" While Rose and Brian argued, Tara noticed that something seemed to be wrong with the elevator.
"Hey ..." She looked at AJ worriedly. "Something's wrong with the elevator."
"Like what?" AJ asked.
"Yeah. It seems okay to me," Nick stated.
"Like it's not moving."
"Oh! Well that's okay." AJ said intelligently. "No fans, eh?"
"No Ken!" Rose said happily. "We could put Tyk(e) in the fire extinguisher box."
"No! We are NOT putting Tyk(e) anywhere abnormal." Brian said firmly.
"Tyk(e) won't mind." Nick grabbed Tyk(e) and the lights went out.
"Maybe there's a storm or the building got struck by lightning or something." AJ mused.
"We're going to DIE!" Nick squealed. "I don't wanna die! I'm the baby I can't die first!"
"Shut up." Brian was in bitch-mode again.
"This is a bad time to be Kevin-esque." AJ stated wisely.
"This is YOUR fault Nick!" Brian decided.
"Nuh uh! We're ALL gonna die not just me!!" Nick whined.
"No no uh uh Things will never be the same again with you No no uh uh Now I know what it's coming to..." AJ sang.
"Not more bad unidentifiable music." Rose sighed.
"I don't wanna DIE!" Nick repeated frantically.
"Shut UP, would you?" Brian muttered.
"Stop being a bitch, Brian, it's okay," Rose said kindly.
"Nick, you blonde fool. No one's going to die," AJ said.
"I am NOT being a bitch!" Brian crossed his arms and pouted. "I want my dog. Nick took my dog!"
"WE'RE GONNA DIIIIEEE!!!" Nick yelled. "Somebody do something!!!!"
"A farmer there lived in the north country and he had daughters one, two, three; these daughters they walked by the river's brim, the eldest pushed the youngest in. Oh sister oh sister, pray lend me your hand, and I will give you house and land. I'll give you neither hand nor glove, unless you give me your own true love," Rose recited serenely.
"What the hell?" AJ asked.
"Why'd she push her in?! That was mean!" Nick mused. Brian grumbled something.
"Sometimes she sank, sometimes she swam, until she came to a miller's dam. The miller's daughter dressed in red, she went for some water to make some bread. Oh father oh daddy, here swims a swan, it's very like a gentle woman. They placed her on the bank to dry, there came a harper passing by. He made harp pins of her fingers fair, he made harp strings of her golden hair, he made a harp of her breast bone and straight and began to play alone."
"That's disgusting!" AJ declared.
"He brought it to her father's hall, and there was the court assembled all, he laid the harp upon a stone and straight it began to play alone... 'And there does sit my father the king, and yonder sits my mother the queen, and there does sit my brother Hugh, and by him William, sweet and true. And there does sit my false sister Anne who drowned me for the sake of a man."
"That's not nice! So Anne was her name..." Nick said. "What was the dead one's name? Did she have-" He started to ask if she had a name but felt something warm and wet on his chest. "Oh no."
"The end," Rose declared quietly.
"I'm all wet." Nick stated dumbly.
"Well that's nice." AJ said sarcastically.
"Tyk(e)!!!! Oh SICK!!!" Nick realized what had happened. He dropped Tyk(e), who fell to the floor with a hollow thud and a squeak.
"Good boy Tyk(e)!" Brian laughed.
"Now what did I ask you about being a bitch, hmm?" Rose said quietly.
"He deserved it!" Brian snarled.
"I forgot to warn you, Rose..." AJ said. "If you're going to be married to Brian, you have to put up with his mood swings."
"I do NOT have mood swings!" Brian pouted.
"I hate that dog," Nick mumbled unhappily. AJ noticed that Tara wasn't saying anything.
"Umm... Tara?" There was no reply.
"Hippo? You okay?" Rose asked. There was no reply. "Tara!"
"That's funny. She was right here!" AJ stuck his arm out blindly and felt Tara's shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"Um …" Tara quavered. "N-nothing." She didn't like elevators to begin with. What the hell was going on with this elevator? It was hell-spawned. She was not having fun.
"No, really. What is it?" AJ asked concernedly, his hand now on her shoulder.
"I…um… I don't like elevators," she explained quickly. "That's all." She inhaled deeply, feeling jittery. They heard Tyk(e) yip madly a few times, then the quiet thud as he accelerated and ran into a wall. Tara laughed shortly then seized AJ's hand, clutching it very tightly, and felt a little better. Rose and Nick laughed at Tyk(e)'s short-lived panic attack.
"It's not funny!" Brian snapped. "Tyk(e)? Here boy, it's okay." Tyk(e) whimpered from a corner of the elevator, but made no move. "Tyk(e)? Where are you?" Rose heard Tyk(e)'s footsteps, then felt something small and furry leaning against one of her boots. She picked it up.
"Why, hello there. I do hope you didn't hurt yourself when you ran into the wall like that. Just between you and me, Tyk(e), it was kind of really funny," Rose said confidentially. Brian sighed irritably.
"Can I have my dog, please? I don't think you're comforting him very much," he griped.
"Jeez, fine!" Rose estimated where Brian would be standing and handed Tyk(e) to him ungracefully, then sat heavily on the floor. "How ya doin', Hippy?"
"Great. I'm, uh, breaking AJ's hand but he seems okay with that," Tara said gratefully. "And you guys?" Brian opened his mouth to reply something bitchy but Rose spoke first.
"Well, I'm fine, but Bitch-boy over here is busy comforting his dog, so I don't suggest you try talking to him," she advised. Brian winced.
"Okay, then. Maybe he just needs a minute," Tara guessed. Everyone was quiet. A short while later, someone could be heard snoring.
"Is someone asleep?" AJ asked. "Everyone awake, say ME."
"No," Rose said defiantly.
"Me," Tara murmured.
"Me," Brian echoed. Nick snored. There was awkward silence for a few minutes as everyone waited for something to happen.
"Do you think we'll be here all night?" AJ asked impatiently.
"Perhaps," Tara said placidly. She remembered she was holding his hand. "Scary, you're very sweet."
"And so are you, Hippo," AJ said smoothly.
"You know, Tara…" Rose remembered something suddenly. "Tyk(e) reminds me a lot of Gus-Gus." Tara gasped audibly and didn't say anything for about ten seconds.
"What's Gus-Gus?" AJ asked.
"Gus-Gus! Oh, god. The teenies probably ate him when they mobbed the house!" Tara thought woefully of her own chihuahua.
"I doubt it. You know how responsible Egg is; she'll take good care of Gus-Gus til you can reclaim him," Rose assured her half-heartedly.
"You sound joyous," Tara observed sarcastically. "Poor Gus!! I feel so terrible. I'd choose Gus-Gus over Shayna any day."
"I'm tired," Rose complained.
"Tired tired? Or Tired with a capital T?" Tara asked.
"Capital T. I'm really dead," Rose replied.
"What the…" AJ was lost.
"Tired with a capital T is tired, cold, hungry, miserable, depressed, and all that other stuff," Tara clarified. "It's much worse than just tired."
"Brian, can I have my coat?" Rose wanted to use her coat as a blanket.
"Sure…" he said, feeling guilty. Tyk(e) was either asleep or somewhere in the elevator quietly amusing himself. He picked up the coat by a sleeve. "Where are you?"
"I'm here." Rose slapped his ankle lightly, expecting Brian to drop the coat on her. He sat beside her and handed the coat over, gave her a quick hug, then laid his head on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry," he said sincerely. Rose was taken aback, suddenly surprised by what she guessed could have been called a 'warm fuzzy feeling' inside. She was torn between Brian the Insane and the other Brian, whom she had never considered before. The former could be trusted over Brian Bitch-Boy, but she wasn't too sure about the unfamiliar, unpredictable Brian-at-present. 'You brought this on, Rose!' she admonished herself. 'You just had to go and get pissed at him. Now he's a Kodak moment mutant and it's all your fault and even worse, you liked that hug.' But then, this could be another joke. It might be perfectly safe. "This is Bitch-boy, retiring for the night," he said in a radio DJ voice. Rose was relieved. He was being funny again. "Sorry," he said again, in the please-listen-I-really-mean-it voice again. 'Damn it!! Why do people always have to change like that? It's just not fair,' Rose mentally complained. "I'm tired too. Capital T," he added. "Between Kevin's disappearance and all the dancers passing out, it's been a busy night."
"Halt, halt! What exactly is going on over there?" AJ inquired.
"Shut up, Bone! We're having a moment, can't you see that?" Brian said lazily, still using Rose's shoulder as a pillow. The elevator jolted suddenly.
"Oh jeez," Tara whispered, starting to feel nervous again. Nick woke up.
"What's going on?!"
"Oh, dear. I hope we don't die," Rose murmured nonchalantly.
"That's not funny!" Tara hissed. AJ, feeling her hand tighten on his again, squeezed her shoulder gently with his free hand. The elevator moved slightly again and Tyk(e) whimpered. Nick considered asking what was happening again but thought better of it. Happily, the lights flickered on and there was a collective sigh of relief. 'That was seriously not fun,' Tara said to herself.
"Agh! Light!" Brian shielded his eyes. "I've been blinded!"
"Aww, look at that," AJ pointed at Brian and Rose.
"How cute!" Tara squealed.
"And what about you two over there, huh?" Rose countered. Tara shrugged and smiled. Nick felt slightly unwanted. Tyk(e) wandered over to him, nuzzling his hand, and Nick glared at him.
"Ouch, Tyk(e)," Rose muttered. "Dissed by Nick. That hurts." Nick laughed sleepily and gently shoved Tyk(e) away.
"Bye, Tyk(e)," he said conclusively. "You pee on me, I get mad at you. That's how it works."
"So… the lights are back on, but we still get to stay in here," AJ said, slightly irritated.
"No, I'm sure Ken will do something about this," Tara said decisively.
"Ugh, Ken." Rose frowned.
"Ken wants to break up Rose and Brian's marriage," Tara mused.
"Ken thinks we want to break up the Backstreet Boys," Rose added.
"Ken Ken Ken," Tara grumbled, then hoped she wasn't being offensive. "I guess he's not too bad," she said half-heartedly.
"Not too bad." AJ laughed. "Not too bad, eh Brian?"
"Hmm. No comment. I'm tired," he replied.
"Aww, poor baby." Rose smiled at him.
"This is too cute! I'm going to die!" Tara exclaimed. "Where is my hard-hearted, cynical gothy friend?!"
"Sleeping," Rose replied without hesitation. Nick looked on, feeling more sad and left out with every moment, and not exactly sure why. Without warning, the elevator started moving again. It stopped in a few seconds and the doors slid open.
"Freedom!" AJ yelled, starting towards the door.
"STOP!" Tara grabbed his arm. "You never know who could be out there!"
"What? Like who?"
"Ken!" Tara whispered threateningly.
"Ken!" AJ echoed, stepping back from the door. Tyk(e) was not to be detained, however, and ran into the hallway.
"TYK(E)!" Brian cried.
"TYK(E) CHASE!!!!!!!!!" AJ yelled, forgetting that Ken could be lurking nearby and running after Tyk(e). Rose and Tara and Nick followed gleefully. Brian sighed, then went after them. His comrades, however, weren't chasing Tyk(e) but standing around confusedly.
"Where'd he go?" Tara whined.
"He was right here!" Rose added.
"He can't have gone far," AJ said.
"Oh no." Nick, for once, got a chance to be the observant one. He looked down the hallway and saw a herd of dancers. One of them was triumphantly holding something small in her arms. He recognized it as Natalie.
"Uhh…" Brian saw Ken and Jobob approaching from the other side. "HI!" He waved happily. "The elevator got stuck! We couldn't get out! But it's okay now!!! Umm, everything's fine! Really," he insisted as they got closer, looking ominous. Rose and Tara saw them coming, then exchanged nervous glances.
"RUN!!!!" they screamed in unison, fleeing down the hallway away from Ken and Jobob.
"No! Not that way!" Nick warned. They didn't hear him.
"Okay, you guys. It's past your curfew!"
“Fuck you!” AJ said spitefully,running after Tara and Rose.
“Umm…” Brian looked at Ken andJobob awkwardly. “I have to save Tyk(e),” he said quickly, then scurried away.