"You guys?" Nick didn't hear Tara and Rose when he got out of the shower. "Hippo? Morticia?" Nick walked around his bus (yes he is fully-clothed, just for the record...) and didn't find them. They must have left, the evil meanie heads. Nick sat down on the couch, feeling rejected. "It's not fair!" He wailed and started crying.
"Nick, what's wrong?" Brian had gotten tired of bitching at the wall and decided to go see Nick.
"I'm such a big ugly loser!" Nick sniffled and looked at his favorite pair of slippers sitting on the floor. "Nobody LIKES me!"
"What are you talking about, Nicky?" Brian was confused. He sat on the couch next to Nick.
"Nobody LIKES me!!!" Nick repeated, as if it explained everything.
"Of course people like you! What about our FANS?" Brian protested.
"They don't like ME. They like Nick, the Blonde One." Nick said bitterly. "Aaron's older brother. The youngest Backstreet Boy."
"Aw, Nick. That's not true." Brian hugged him in a brotherly way.
"It is! It IS, damnit!" Nick whined.
"Nick! Watch your language. I know you're upset but that's no excuse." Brian chided.
"You're not my mom, shut up! My mom hates me too."
"Did she call or something?" Brian was still confused. [poor, drugged brian]
"Nooooo.." Nick made the one-syllable word seem much longer than it should be. "Nobody EVER calls me! Nobody ever wants to talk to me! NOBODY LIKES ME!" Nick slipped his feet into the slippers. They always made him feel better, strangely.
"Um." Brian said articulately.
"They LEFT! Damnit they LEFT." Nick beat a couch cushion savagely.
"Who?" Clueless Brian inquired.
"Don't play stupid! You KNOW who I'm talking about!" Nick was not in a good mood.
"Um.. no?" Brian gaped at him.
"HIPPO AND MORTICIA YOU MORON!" Nick stood up and went to his bunk, putting on his headphones and playing Nirvana's debut album (which he didn't know the name of) loudly.
"What?" Brian looked after him dumbly.
"They LEFT! They were going to come with us and they LEFT!!!!!!!" Nick shouted. "I'm a LOSER and NOBODY likes me, not even some freakish GIRLS who didn't even know who we WERE until TONIGHT!"
"They were here? On your bus?" Brian yanked the headphones off Nick's head.
"They LEFT." Nick wondered if Brian was high/drunk. It all made sense to HIM.
"Where did they go?" Brian asked eagerly.
"Stalker!" Nick smacked him. "I'm going to sleep. GO AWAY."
"Fine!" Brian left. He wondered what Howie was doing. When he got to Howie's bus, he noticed that all the lights were on and he could hear one of the songs from Willie Wonka And The Chocolate Factory. "Hi How--" Oh. Howie had a girl over.
"Brian!" Howie panicked. His fan! They were going to take way his FAN! His only fan that he'd ever met and she even knew what his favorite COLOR was!
"Isn't that..." Brian recognized Shayna, who was staring at him. Brian was her second favorite.
"Hi Brian." She said shyly and passed out.
"NOW look what you did!! Brian you KILLED her!!!!" Howie shrieked. "You killed my fan! I had ONE fan and you just HAD to take her away! Noo! Howie isn't allowed to have fans!" Brian was stunned.
"Howie, um.." Brian looked at Shayna passed out on the floor. "I didn't know you felt that way. Um. Howie? You can't… keep her."
"But.. but.." Howie suddenly became very angry at Brian. "SHUT UP!" He gasped, astounded that he had said such harsh words to Brian. "I'm SORRY Brian! I didn't mean it!!!"
"Howie, you have to let this girl go home."
"I don't WANT to go home!" Shayna whined. She was un-passed out now.
"How old are you?" Brian asked.
"Thirteen!" Shayna said proudly. "I'm a TEENAGER now!!!!"
"Well that's... great." Brian forced a smile. "Um. I'm going to go talk to AJ. Yeah. Bye now." He left.
"Oh good." Howie was relieved. He locked the door of the bus. "Shayna?"
"Yeah?" Shayna said dreamily. She was still staring at the place where Brian had been standing.
"Damn you Brian! You took my FAN!" Howie said to no one in particular.
"Tofu!" Tara said ecstatically. "You have TOFU!!"
"Um.. yeah. Wait.. don't eat that. It's kinda.. old." AJ eyed the package of tofu warily.
"How old?" Tara asked suspiciously.
"Umm.. like.. a couple months?" AJ replied hesitantly.
"Oh sick." Tara grimaced. Rose was sitting peacefully on a couch, looking out the window. She saw Brian walk up to the bus looking puzzled, and didn't move when he opened the door.
"AJ? Where are yooouuuu?" Brian looked around, not noticing the person in black on the couch.
"He's in the kitchen." Rose replied quietly.
"Oh, thanks." Brian didn't really realize that someone had answered him and wandered off to find AJ. He couldn't believe Howie had said the words 'shut up.' It was so unlike him! Something was definitely wrong with Howie. Yes, and Nick too. And Kevin. Definitely Kevin. Something was probably wrong with AJ-- something was always wrong with AJ. The only sane one was him. Brian smiled proudly to himself. "Hi AJ!"
"Uhh, hey Brian." AJ was rooting through a refrigerator. "What's up?" Brian smiled euphorically.
"Nothing."
"Are you high, man? You look weird."
"Howie said shut up and Nick thinks he's ugly." Brian giggled.
"Um, okay." AJ glanced at Tara. Brian hadn't noticed her yet.
"More tofu! How much tofu do you HAVE?" Tara spotted another package in a different refrigerator.
"I don't know! I don't eat TOFU." AJ said disgustedly.
"Hippo?" Brian looked at her astoundedly.
"My name is Tara, damnit! If you call me Hippo ever again I will kick you." Tara announced.
"Where's Rose?" Brian snapped out of his strange little stupor. "She's on the couch! She said you were in here! Wow!" He ran out of the kitchen.
"He's definitely high." Tara nodded. AJ laughed.
"Hi Rose!" Brian chirped. He smiled brightly and sat on the couch beside her.
"You're high, aren't you." Rose murmured.
"No! I'm not high! Why does everyone think I'm high? ... " Brian decided he didn't want to hear the answer. "Nick thinks you're gone."
"Oops." Rose looked guilty.
"Oops I did it again, I played with your heart, got lost in this game. Oh baby baby, oops, you think I'm in love, that I'm sent from abooooove- I'm not that innocent!!!" Brian noticed that Rose was looking at him strangely and stopped singing.
"What song is that?" Rose seemed to remember hearing it somewhere.
"What?" It couldn't be possible that she didn't know who Britney Spears was.
"What ... song .... is .... that? Hmm? I don't like it."
"You ... you don't know?"
"Oh, sorry. It's not one of yours, is it? I don't remember hearing it at the concert. But then, I wasn't really listening to your music." Rose shrugged apathetically. "What is it?"
"Hit me baby one more time!"
"Brian? What's wrong with you?" Rose asked uneasily. 'I thought Shayna said he was the perfect Christian. I thought she said the scariest thing about him was a tattoo.'
"Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide! Sometimes I'm scared of you, but all I really want is to hold you tight, treat you right, be with you day and night.. baby all I need is time!" Rose stood up and started to walk away.
"AJ!!! Something's...wrong with Brian," she yelled into the kitchen. She turned around abruptly. "Oh, Brian ... Did you and Nick break up? I'm so sorry."
"Me and Nick never have and never will date," he informed her gravely. "A scrub is a guy who can't get no love from me! I don't wanna be a fool for you, just another player in your game for two, you may hate me but it ain't no lie, baby BYE BYE BYE!"
"Brian, stop that! It's ... it's scary. And disturbing. And ugly."
"I'm too bootylicious for ya baby. ...What a girl wants, what a girl needs, whatever keeps me happy sets you free, and I'm thankin you for giving it to me!"
"That's ENOUGH!" Rose ran into the kitchen and crawled into a cabinet.
"What?" AJ wondered what was going on.
"Brian's been scaring Rosie," Tara explained. She had been listening. "Brian, what in the hell were you singing?" Brian ran into the kitchen.
"AJ! SHe doesn't know who Britney Spears is! She doesn't know what 'NSync is! Or Destiny's Child! Or Christina Aguilera! Or TLC! AJ!" He wondered where Rose and Tara lived.
"She's lying to you. Everyone knows Britney." AJ gaped at the cabinet in which Rose was hiding. "She's so lucky! She's a star! But she cries cries cries in her lonely heart thinkin if there's nothing missing in my life then WHYYY do these tears come at night?!"
"I tried singing Britney and she didn't get it! I sang Oops and Sometimes.." Brian was clearly distressed. Rose got out of the cabinet and hid behind Tara.
"You don't know OOPS?!" AJ stared at her, wide-eyed.
"Umm.. Tara? Tara I'm scared!" Rose whispered.
"I think it's okay. A strange mating ritual, perhaps. Just watch.." Tara said rather loudly.
"You drive me crazy I just can't sleep. I'm so excited, I'm in too deep. Crazy, but it feels alright--" AJ sang, dancing around the small kitchen.
"See, there's a dance too! Too bad we don't have a video camera.." Tara commented.
"Tara!" Rose whined and ran off the bus, decided to go back to that other bus with the Blonde One. She didn't know which bus was his, though. Rose walked up to a random bus and opened the door, turning on a light. "Helloooo?"
"Yip yip yip!" Tyk(e) ran up to her and started assaulting her foot.
"Gaahhh!!!" Rose looked in disgust at the small mammal. "Will you die if I step on you?" Tyk(e) answered by growling and chewing on her shoe. "NOO!! These are my favorite boots! GET OFF! OFF! BAD SMALL MAMMAL!!!" Rose shook her foot daintily, leaping onto a couch. The little dog was unable to get onto the couch as well, and merely paced the floor in front of it, growling and watching her with its over-large eyes.
"Brian! Brian's on his bus!" Nick saw a light on in Brian's bus. HE couldn't see through the tinted windows, otherwise he would have seen Rose standing on the couch looking scared. Nick left his bus and went to see Brian.
"The busses are over here..." Kevin said stupidly.
"Yeah." Erin could see them.
"What the hell is wrong with you guys?" Ken growled. "Can't you understand GO TO YOUR BUS? It isn't that difficult!"
"Shut up!" Kevin was angry. No one was allowed to tell HIM what to do, HE was the slave driver!!!
"What if a fan sees you? HUH? What if some little girls mob you and take your clothes and kill you? What will you do then?!" Ken spazzed.
"Shut up!" Erin commanded.
"NO! NO GIRLS!!! KEVIN YOU CAN'T BRING GIRLS ON THE BUSSES!"
"We'll go somewhere ELSE then!" Kevin took Erin's hand and pulled her off into the street.
"FINE! See if I care!" Ken yelled after them.
"What are YOU doing here?" Nick stared at Rose, who was still standing on the couch.
"Trying not to be eaten alive by that.. that.. " Rose couldn't think of a word to describe Tyk(e).
"Aww Tyk(e) wouldn't hurt anyone!" Nick cooed, picking him up. Tyk(e) started licking his face disgustingly. "See?"
"Umm.." Rose wasn't convinced. "Your friends are terrifying."
"What?"
"Umm.. Sporty and Scary? Your lover and the one with the sunglasses?" Rose clarified.
"Brian and me are NOT--" Nick protested.
"Sure, whatever. They kept singing these scary songs and I had to hide in a cabinet." Rose explained.
"What songs?" Nick wondered.
"Umm.. something called.. uhh.. Oops? I don't know!" Rose shook her head.
"Oops I did it again I played with your heart got lost in this game Oops you think I'm in love and sent from above I'm not that innocent!" Nick sang happily.
"Stop!!!" Rose covered her ears, looking pained. "You and Brian … I swear! You're just so cute together." She laughed, but not unkindly.
"We are NOT!! We're just friends." Nick laughed too, filled with happy relief that his new friends hadn't deserted him.
"Oh, just friends. Now, how many times have we heard THAT one before, hmm?" Rose raised her eyebrows.
"Neither of us are gay!" he insisted. Rose shook her head slowly, smiling, and Nick got even by holding Tyk(e) in her face.
"Ugh!! NO! Not the unidentifiable small mammal!" Rose staggered backwards. "I'm going to tell Brian to do something about that CREATURE," she muttered under her breath, walking towards the door. Nick didn't hear.
"I'm going to tell Brian to tell you he's not gay and neither am I!"
"Eww!! Get off my foot, you little turd!" Tyk(e) was chewing on Rose's shoelaces. She bent over to slap at him and one of her rings fell off. Tyk(e) picked it up in his teeth and scampered away. Rose chased after him as Nick proceeded to AJ's bus. It didn't take Rose long to catch Tyk(e). He glared at her indignantly.
"No! I will NOT put you down, you hell-spawn. We're going to talk to Brian about your BEHAVIOR! And if he doesn't do anything about you…" She cackled evilly. "I'm sending you to the sausage factory!" She followed Nick, holding Tyk(e) out at arm's length.