Glyn opened her eyes. Something had made her wake up and that made her mad. Her head was spinning and the rest of the room looked kind of unsteady too. There was a loud pounding noise and Glyn placed it as the sound that had disturbed her sleep. She tried to ignore it but it wouldn't go away… What had happened last night?
"GLYN! Open the door!!" an angry voice commanded. Hey… that was AJ's voice!
"AJ?" she asked, then noticed how sickly her voice sounded.
"Come out of the bathroom, Glyn!" he said in a warning tone.
"Move over you idiot!" someone hissed. "Glynnie? Are you okay?" That was Marian.
"I'm sick, Marian!" Glyn answered unhappily.
"Can you open the door?" Glyn grabbed the rim of the sink and stood up. Keeping one hand on the sink, she unlocked the door and pulled it slightly open.
"You didn't have to stay in there all night!!" AJ said indignantly.
"This is your fault AJ! Be nice," Marian ordered. She lead Glyn to a couch and offered her a glass of water, which she didn't want.
"Hi Mari…" Glyn said quietly. "You look sick!" Marian shrugged then laid her head on the arm of the couch and closed her eyes. Glyn stared out the window at the snow falling then noticed a mouse on the floor and started watching it instead. A movement in the room caught her eye. That was Brian! He was sleeping on a couch, one arm hanging onto the floor. Maybe he wasn't sleeping anymore. She heard a noise then recognized it as his voice.
"Hi Glyn. Merry Christmas…"
"Brian, there's a mouse over there." Glyn smiled a little when Brian's eyes widened and he jerked his arm off the floor, huddling on the couch. "It's right there… See???" She pointed at the little brown-grey mouse with huge eyes.
"Can mice climb? It's going to bite me…" He frowned nervously.
"Mice climb very well," Glyn informed him. "And they carry fleas and other diseases."
"D-diseases….?" Brian repeated uneasily.
"Yeah. Like the bubonic plague!" Glyn replied eagerly. "And rabies!! Crap, my head hurts." She covered her eyes, forgetting about Brian and the mouse.
"Brian, the mouse isn't going to hurt you," Marian mumbled. AJ walked into the room.
"Glyn, you're on my couch." Glyn didn't answer him. "Hot chocolate, anyone?" AJ chuckled.
"Go awayyy!" Marian whined. "I don't like you, AJ."
"SHIT!!" AJ yelled. "It's a mouse!" He jumped onto the couch beside Glyn. Glyn looked at him warily.
"You put stuff in the hot chocolate." She decided. AJ shrugged. The phone rang.
"That would be my mother." Marian grimaced. Glyn stood up and answered it.
"Hello?" she said tiredly.
"Hi! Can I talk to AJ? This is his girlfriend Jalyssa!" a perky sickening voice chirped. Glyn threw the phone at AJ.
"It's your girlfriend." She informed him and went upstairs. Marian followed her.
"What?!" AJ caught the phone and glared at it. "I don't HAVE a girlfriend!"
"AJ? Honey?" Jalyssa said loudly.
"What?" AJ snarled.
"Hi sweetie!"
"Jalyssa? What the hell? How did you get this number?"
"Um.. Nick gave it to me." Jalyssa was puzzled. "Aren't you happy I called?"
"Of course I'm happy, babe, but it's basically over for us. We broke up over a month ago! Leave me alone!" AJ hung up the phone. Brian was looking at him pointedly. "Damn Nick!"
"What, did he tell Jalyssa the phone number?" Glyn asked sarcastically. She'd come back downstairs.
"Glyn-" AJ started.
"And how did Nick get it?"
"From me, after Ash told me you were going to Vermont…" AJ replied sullenly.
"I'm glad you're happy she called. Damn Ash and you and Nick!" Glyn retorted, even though she knew Ash hadn't meant any harm, and neither had AJ or Nick, probably.
"Glyn-"
"Save it." Glyn sighed and went outside. She realized that she wasn't wearing any shoes, but decided not to go back for some, and wandered into the woods absently. After about five minutes, she got sick of walking and decided to go up on the roof instead.
LATER (about six)
"I wonder where Glyn is," Marian said. They were all out in the yard. Glyn watched them amusedly from the roof.
"I'm up here." She muttered happily.
"This is my fault!" AJ slapped his forehead.
"Yes it is," Glyn affirmed quietly.
"Yeah, I guess," Marian said thoughtfully. "What do you think, Brian?"
"Umm… Well, it depends…"
"Jeez Brian! Why do you always act like you're stoned?" Glyn asked him even though he couldn't hear her and she wasn't really talking to him. "I thought you weren't drinking last night. Never mind. You always act like that."
"Depends on WHAT?" AJ asked furiously.
"I dunno," Brian said indifferently.
"STONED!" Glyn hissed a little too loudly.
"What was that?" Marian looked around, confused. "Oh damn. I'm going nuts… AJ, maybe it depends on whether or not you really were glad that whatever her name is called."
"Yeah, that's it!" Brian decided.
"I heard something!!!!" AJ declared. "GLYN! WHERE ARE YOU??" he yelled loudly.
"Umm.. AJ? Maybe we should go inside…" Brian said thoughtfully.
"You're stoned!" Glyn called. She packed a spiky pinecone into a snowball with icicle shards in it.
"I am not! Who said that?" Brian demanded.
"It was GLYN! Glyn where ARE you?!" AJ opened his mouth to yell again and something hard and cold hit his face. "Holy fuck!!!!!!!"
"Hey look." Marian tapped Brian's shoulder. "He's bleeding." Glyn smiled evilly to herself and scrambled onto the tree and through the window. She ran downstairs and locked the front door. The door in the back of the house was left open. She pulled it shut loudly and locked it. She heard something pounding on the door and looked out a window. There was AJ, beating on the door like there was no tomorrow. He was, indeed, bleeding, there were a few small cuts on his cheek and forehead.
'Poor baby. I have better aim than I thought!' Glyn congratulated herself and knocked on the window. AJ looked at her sadly and stopped pounding on the door. He picked up a pair of her shoes that he'd left outside earlier and threw one of them at the wall of the house. The other, he threw at the window. It cracked. (the window, not the shoe). Glyn winced.
"Glyn let me in!!" AJ pleaded. "I'm sorry!!"
"Hey, AJ, we're going for a walk!" Brian informed him. He and Marian were tired of standing around in the yard.
"Fine! Bye!" AJ said irritably. He remembered that there was a window on the second floor that Marian had said never locked. That was probably how Glyn had gotten in, she'd been on the roof and then went through the window. AJ jumped up onto the railing and pulled himself onto the roof. Glyn watched him interestedly through the window. He was going to come in through the upstairs window, she assumed. Let him try.
AJ tripped while going down the stairs. He was now all snowy from slipping on the roof, and the tree was rather snowy too. He fell quite ungracefully down the last six stairs, and landed on something that felt suspiciously like a person.
"Ow." Glyn murmured. "Get off"
"I'm sorry I spiked the hot chocolate."
"It's okay. Please move? I'm suffocating." Glyn pleaded.
"No, you'll run away or something."
"No I won't!" Glyn shifted uncomfortably.
"I don't believe you. I'm sorry Jalyssa told you she's my girlfriend. She isn't and neither is anyone else but I wish you wouldn't hate me so much."
"Stop fishing for compliments, Alexander. I'm sorry I was acting like a bitch when I found out you have a girlfriend. Now move."
"But I don't! You're not listening to me." AJ crossed his arms. "I'm not going anywhere. If I did have a girlfriend I wouldn't be in a cabin in Vermont on Christmas with you. This is an activity typically done by boyfriend-girlfriend couples."
"I'm sorry AJ, but if I'm not listening to you it's because I feel like shit because yesterday this guy I know slipped me a ton of Vodka. Come on, get off of me!" she begged. AJ smiled at her contentedly, making no move towards getting off of her. Glyn was avoiding the subject. "Sharptooth, I'm having problems breathing."
"And why is that?"
"Maybe it's because you're sitting on me, genius." Glyn tried not to laugh.
"Exactly! Maybe it's because the famous Alexander James McLean, aka God, is-"
"Sitting on my stomach and crushing me! I think it's because some four hundred pound blimp of a man is smashing me."
"Nah, it's definitely the other thing. Look, you're hyperventilating! See? You're a teenybopper, face it already!" AJ said smugly.
"Teenybopper?! Take it back, God!" Glyn ordered authoritatively. AJ laughed.
"Never! Teenybopper Glyndalyn."
"If I'm a teenybopper then the Backstreet Boys are just another disposable off-the-assembly-line pop group- as Marian wrote, a treat for juvenile eyes but not much else."
"I'm not moving anytime soon, Glyn." AJ grinned down at her evilly.
"I can wait," Glyn replied.
A FEW HOURS LATER (writer supposes it would be about nine now)
"Brian, stop walking for a second! I'm not in shape like you," Marian wheezed. "We're almost back to the cabin anyway. It's right up there." They were walking on a path in the woods.
"How can you say we're almost back? How can you even see the path, Marian? It's dark out here!" Brian stopped walking at her request.
"Well… There's some light, from the moon and stuff." Marian pointed at the sky. "And … um… I think I can almost see the cabin lights. Right up there! Anyway, I doubt Glyn and AJ are in dire need of our presence."
"Are you kidding?! They're going to rip each other apart. We'll get back in time to see Glyn hanging AJ's head on the wall."
"I'm sure they've worked things out," Marian said confidently. "Glyn's good at stuff like that. Making up with people after fighting and things." She sat on the ground.
"Yeah. Is that why she first tried to make us think we were going schizo then threw a snowball at AJ then locked us outside?"
"When she wants to be Glyn can be very forgiving." Brian shrugged and started walking. "Hey stop it! I'm still resting!" Marian grabbed at his ankle and he tripped.
"Psycho!" he muttered, smiling at Marian and sitting beside her.
"Flesh-eater!" she hissed, laughing hysterically to herself.
"What was that?! Marian, you've been out in the cold too long. Did you call me a flesh-eater?"
"Yes. Flesh-eater. I'm freezing. I'm getting hypothermia. I'm turning blue. My body temperature is falling drastically."
"Okay! I heard you. Let's go back inside!" he pleaded.
"Flesh-eater," Marian whispered.
"Come on! We're going inside." Brian pulled Marian to her feet and she grudgingly followed him out of the woods, through the yard, and to the front door of the cabin.
"See? We weren't very far at all."
"Yeah, I guess… Damnit! The door's still locked." Brian tapped on the door.
"GLYN!!!" Marian yelled. "COME TO THE DOOR!" No one answered but they could hear people laughing inside.
"Is the spare key still inside?"
"Yes, unfortunately. Glyn, I'm going to KILL you!" Marian shouted. "We'll have to go up on the roof and-"
"Aww! Not the roof. There has to be a safer way!"
"Well there's not." Marian dragged Brian around to the porch and climbed onto the roof. "You'll have to wait here, okay?"
"Fine."
After a few hours, Glyn heard something at the back door.
"AJ move! I mean it this time. Marian and Brian-"
"Oh yeah. Where'd they go?"
"I don't know! You told me they went for a walk. I think they want to come inside."
"Well, I'm not moving. So there. You locked the doors. You deal with it!" AJ smirked.
"Damnit!!! What if they try to climb up on the roof and fall off and die?"
"Then their blood is on your hands."
"NO! It would be on yours! Move!!!" Glyn ordered.
"I don't want to. What's that noise?"
"I guess someone's trying to get in the window upstairs. If it's Mari, she'll be fine… Brian would probably fall and die." Glyn said casually.
"Glyn?" Marian called from upstairs. "Why didn't you unlock the door? We nearly FROZE to death!"
"This CRETIN won't get off me." Glyn replied. Marian looked down at them as she went down the stairs.
"Okay, I don't want to know. I really, really don't." Marian stepped over them and went to open the door for Brian.
"Merry Christmas everyone." AJ said happily.
"AJ, what are you doing?" Brian asked accusingly.
"I'm punishing Glyn." AJ answered.
"Make him move!" Glyn begged piteously. "I'll do anything!"
"Anything?" AJ said mischievously.
"Not for you!" Glyn grimaced. "Mari! Save me I'm asphyxiating!"
"Hmm.." Marian looked at Glyn thoughtfully. "AJ, stop suffocating Glyn."
"She's only suffocating because she's hyperventilating. For, you see, Glyndalyn here is a teenybopper, and she just can't believe that the AJ McLean is sitting on her." AJ nodded. "We talked about this already."
"If she is a teenybopper, that's all the more reason for you to stop abusing her. What would happen to your image if it got out that you kill innocent teenies?" Marian asked innocently. Brian went over to AJ and started hauling him off of Glyn.
"Thank you Brian!! At least someone is nice to me." Glyn glared at AJ. She scrambled under a table and hunched there dejectedly. AJ quickly joined her under the table.
"At least she didn't hang his head on the wall," Marian pointed out.
"That's a good idea!" Glyn declared. She put her hands around AJ's throat. "Haha. Now you pay!"
"Pay? Who, me? But I haven't done anything wrong!" AJ protested. "Brian, help me!"
"Brian isn't going to help you, AJ," Marian interrupted, smiling placidly. "You see, he's a flesh-eater and he can't wait to devour your corpse as soon as your head is detached from it and hanging on the wall."
"I am not a flesh-eater!! Marian, stop it!" Brian whined. "That's not fair!"
"Right, Satan. Satan isn't a flesh-eater," Glyn stated.
"Petri!" AJ muttered.
"They're all being mean to me now," Brian mumbled sadly.
"Stop it, both of you!" Marian yelled. "Be nice!"
"How nice, Mari. You'll defend Brian but not me!" Glyn observed. "You were just going to stand by and let AJ sit on me until I died."
"I would not! I would have made him move if you were dying. But I think you were rather enjoying yourself," Marian SAID. (damn the word)
"Was NOT!" Glyn protested indignantly.
"Haha," AJ snickered. "I knew it."
"I'll kill you God! You'll be sorry!" Glyn ranted.
"I'm God! I can't die!" AJ declared.
"We'll see about that," Glyn SAID dtw. "I need clothes, damnit!"
"We could hunt for some.." Marian suggested doubtfully.
"We already did that." AJ pointed out. "Yesterday. Or was it the day before?"
"Yesterday we were too inebriated to hunt for clothes." Glyn said wisely. "Wait.. what DID we do yesterday?" She couldn't remember.
"Oh, nothing." AJ grinned.
"I wonder if there's anything on the radio." Marian turned it on and some weird song was playing. AJ and Brian looked somewhat uncomfortable.
"Ooo it sounds like another boy band!" Glyn cried gleefully. "We've heard THIS song before Mari!"
"We have, haven't we? Isn't this the closet song?" Marian smiled.
"The closet song?" Brian echoed.
"Yes!!! It's about these guys that keep someone in the closet." Glyn explained. "Just because she's crazy! And they don't want the press to know one of them, or all of them, I suppose, share a schizophrenic girlfriend."
"Is that so.." AJ narrowed his eyes.
"And Brian! Here's your solo!" Glyn grinned. "It's funny that BRIAN says 'hold me now don't bother' and AJ, YOU say 'TOUCH me now don't bother.' Brian is obviously much more romantic."
"They MADE me say it." AJ protested.
"See? You ARE a manufactured pop group!" Marian crowed.
"No we aren't!" Brian contradicted.
"Didn't that.. guy put you all together? Or something?" Glyn mused, a certain fat bastard in mind.
"For not being a teenybopper, you seem to know a lot about us." AJ observed.
"The internet is a wonderful thing." Marian said sagely.
"And I am NOT a teenybopper!" Glyn smacked AJ's shoulder none too gently.
"You are! Don't make me sit on you again!" AJ threatened.
"It is eleven oh five." Marian said randomly.
"Thank you Marian." Glyn rolled her eyes. "It's almost not Christmas anymore."
"I have to give you your present!" AJ jumped up, forgetting the table was above him. "SHIT!"
"Haha, God, you're so graceful!" Glyn laughed.
"Shut up!" AJ touched the top of his head gingerly.
"Awww... is your head okay?" Glyn asked only somewhat sarcastically. "Did you kill your remaining brain cells?"
"He never had any brain cells to begin with." Brian said, smiling. Marian and Glyn laughed. The phone rang and they all just stared at it for a minute.
"Damn the phone!!!" Marian glared at it. "I'm not getting it!"
"Neither am I!! The last time I answered a phone it was Jalyssa. I don't want to talk to any more of AJ's girlfriends." Glyn crossed her eyes. The phone rang one last time and stopped.
"Must we discuss this again, Glyndalyn?" AJ put one arm around her waist.
"Um, no. I quite understand that you are not polyamorous."
"Poly what?" Brian asked.
"Polyamorous, Petrie," Glyn repeated slowly. "As in having multiple lovers."
"Oh. Okay." Brian yawned. The phone rang again.
"Screw it. I don't care!" Glyn laughed haughtily at the phone.
"Who would dare to call at this hour on this day?!" Marian demanded, looking angrily at the phone.
"It would take a lot of nerve! I mean… It's late! For all they know whoever they're calling could be … busy," she finished, blushing.
"Busy, eh?" AJ raised an eyebrow.
"Right. Is there a problem, Sharptooth?"
"That would be our cue to leave, Brian." Marian dragged Brian outside.
"I don't wanna go outside again," he whimpered.
"Why don't you just whine about it, then! Is that the phone again?!"
"Again. Maybe someone should get it? Somebody obviously wants to tell you or Glyn something."
"I dunno…." Marian frowned as the phone rang again. She waited a few seconds and it didn't ring. "If it rings again, I'll pick up."
"I wonder who keeps calling…" Glyn said quietly.
"Why don't you answer it, then?" AJ suggested.
"That would involve moving, which I don't really feel like doing right now." Glyn shrugged and looked at the floor. "This is a nice floor. I don't know why Marian doesn't like it."
"Why are you talking about the floor?"
"Why not?" Glyn was avoiding looking at AJ. "The phone! The phone ringeth."
"So it doth." AJ sighed. Marian came running through the door and picked up the phone.
"Damnit!" She slammed it back down unhappily. "They hung up."
"Oh well." Glyn looked interestedly at the underside of the table top.
"Who was it?" Brian had just come inside.
"No one. I didn't get it fast enough." Marian sighed.
"Maybe they'll call again." Brian said hopefully.
"MAYBE." Marian sat on a couch and glared at a lamp.
"Waiting for a call, Mari?" Glyn asked innocently.
"Shut up Glyn. I just want to know who keeps calling over and over."
"Mmhmm. Sure." Glyn started to crawl out from under the table, but AJ wouldn't let her move. "Let go!"
"No." AJ said simply, holding onto one of her wrists.
"Why?" Glyn whined.
"Because." He smiled. Glyn sighed and stopped trying to pull away.
"Damn you." She muttered.
"Awwwwwwww!!" Marian cooed.
"Shut up, Mari." Glyn glared at her.
"How sweet!" Marian squealed fakely.
"Mari, shut UP." Glyn looked at the table some more. Brian sat next to Marian on the couch. Glyn watched them for a little while instead of the table.
TEN MINUTES LATER damnit
The phone rang. Marian woke up and ran over to it.
"Hello?!" she said nervously.
"Can I talk to Brian or AJ?" Kevin asked flatly.
"Um.. yeah. Who is this?"
"Kevin." Kevin said.
"Okay." Marian looked at Brian, then AJ, and decided that Brian was more awake and should talk to Kevin. She gave him the phone and sat back down on the couch.
"Oh.. what?" Brian was kind of half-asleep. He listened to the phone for a second and got up and went into the kitchen.
"That can't be good." Glyn observed quietly.
"What?" AJ had just woken up.
"Brian just got a phone call and went to talk in the kitchen. Maybe it's his mistress." Glyn said decisively.
"Glyn, don't be stupid." Marian said firmly.
"I'll be stupid if I want to be stupid." Glyn crossed her eyes and looked at AJ. "Hey! YOU have four eyes. Like Matt." She was referring to a new snow person that now graced the yard.
"Oh really?" AJ mumbled sleepily.
"Yes. Did you know that Matt and Cara had an affair? Jason was devastated! He and Cara got a divorce, and he gets custody of Nick." Glyn had also made Jason and Cara a baby she named Nick.
"Hmmm…" AJ looked up as Brian came back into the living room looking pale. "What's wrong? You look like someone died." Brian blanched and threw the phone to AJ. He sat down heavily on the couch by Marian.
"What happened?" she whispered. Brian shook his head.
"WHAT?!" AJ yelled at the phone. "If this is some kind of joke.." he stopped and listened for a moment. "Oh God…"
"You just invoked yourself." Glyn muttered. "What? Why did Kevin call?" AJ gave her the phone. "Oo let's all pass around the phone! Hi Kevin. Merry Christmas. What? He DID? And AUDREY too? Oh, she isn't dead yet." Glyn sounded ever so faintly disappointed. "Oh. Um, okay. Sorry. Bye Kevin.." She hung up the phone looking scared. "He HATES me!"
"Jee, I wonder why." Marian said flatly. "God, Glyn, only YOU could.." Brian had told her the news. "I mean REALLY! Nick and Audrey..they're…"
"Audrey isn't. She's just in critical condition." Glyn remembered. Brian stood up abruptly and went upstairs to be alone. "Poor Brian. Maybe he'll find the pictures and then he can laugh at them and be happy."
"I sort of doubt he's going to be laughing about anything tonight, really." Marian stated. She decided to go upstairs and make sure Brian was okay.
"AJ? God? Sharptooth?" Glyn looked worriedly at AJ. He hadn't moved, really, and was just sort of staring at nothing.
"Glyn…" he looked at her sadly. "Oh, God, Glyn. Nick…"
"I'm sorry." Glyn didn't know what else to say to him.
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