|
| | We feel that a particularly grueling week in Dewey has forced us to revisit the original theme of our
glorious Van Dyke Street house from Summer '96(?)... it's time for the Bodily Harm
Tally!
2003
| Saturday, June 28 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
(2) a. Nicci walks into a street sign.
b. Anna finds an abnormally large bug bite on her thigh. |
| Emotional Distress |
(2) a. Nicci calls Anna
"J-Lo". b. Phil tries to set Steve up with "fat
girls" at the Starboard. |
| Sunday, June 29 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
(?) Impossible to think that there was
no bodily harm for a night... someone
please provide details. |
| Emotional Distress: |
(1) a. Booty call. |
| Monday, June 30 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
(3) a. The group misses the Jolly
Trolley and decides to walk to Rehoboth for dinner - Anna gets whopping
blisters on her feet from bad shoe selection. b. Nicci and
Anna do Tuaca shots at the Lighthouse. c. Ben begins his
weeklong binge on Sudafed and Nyquil. |
| Emotional Distress: |
(8) a. Decision to go to Rehoboth for
a "nice" dinner proved not so fabulous... Dogfish Head SUCKED
and the waitress was beyond incompetent. b. Nicci hugs
street-signs on zigzagged walk home from the Lighthouse. c.
Sharkey's screws up our chicken cheese steaks. |
| Tuesday, July 1 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
(9) a. BEER PONG at the
Starboard. b. Anna and Phil take a dive onto the floor at
Wings-To-Go after the Starboard - Anna sprains her foot. |
| Emotional Distress: |
(5+) a. Not only did we PLAY Beer
Pong, but we SUCKED at it. b. Anna insists on forcing people
to listen to her 50 Cent cd. c. Miles forces Anna to listen to Led Zeppelin
and other "classic rock favorites". |
| Wednesday, July 2 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
(1) a. Anna's leg muscles give out
after finding out just how hard it is to hop on one foot for 1/2 block and
across the soft hot sand. b. Nicci
learns the perils of taking a shot of Nyquil after several drinks. |
| Emotional Distress: |
(3) a. Anna gets stuck in the sand trying to
hop both on and off the beach. b. Trish gets stuck with taking Anna
to the Beebe Hospital and they are both stranded there for hours.
c. Alley-Cat's arrival is delayed until Thursday, thereby saddening
one Mr. Staley. d. Phil aka (Straight Outta Pikesville) "25
Cent" raps for us. |
| Thursday, July 4 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
(4) a. The boys decide to drink on the
beach, followed by several shots and rounds of Beer Pong at the Starboard.
b. Leprosy strikes Anna. c. Phil
and Miles zonk out after Beer Pong - Phil is found naked puking and
singing in his bathroom. Miles may or may not be dead. d. We fear that the lining of Phil's stomach is about to
rot completely. e. Nicci has to break out the first-aid kit after
climbing over the decks to tell the Disco Party House to turn down the
music in their 3-person home nightclub. |
| Emotional Distress: |
(10+) a. The return of Beer Pong to
our lives. b. Nicci discovers her beloved husband naked puking - and
singing - in the bathroom. c. Trish thinks Miles may be dead -
she doesn't think he's breathing. d. Miles' friend Neal never
really got to see Miles for long before he passed out. e.
Small-scale late-night chaos erupts at #2. f. 3-Person
Late-Night-Disco-Party at #3 annoys the crap out of us. |
| Friday, July 4 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
(3) a. Anna's arms and hands are about to
fall off from crutching around Dewey all day/night Thursday. b.
Still more leprosy for Anna. c. Phil is struck by leprosy now
as well. |
| Emotional Distress: |
(9+) a. Anna gets abandoned on the
beach. b. Evil Dewey Cops force us to end our private fireworks
display on the beach. c. Sobriety sucks. |
| Saturday, July 5 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
|
| Emotional Distress: |
(8) a. Time to clear out of the house
and head back home. |
2002
| Saturday, June 29 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
(1) a. Phil hasn't yet found the proper
spice-level for his wings... stomach lining starts to decay after
screaming a string of obscenities. |
| Emotional Distress |
(8) a. Everyone is distraught by
whatever Mama Maria's was trying to pass off as "sausage" pieces
on the pizza. |
| Sunday, June 30 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
(1) a. Anna flies out of bicycle
rickshaw and onto pavement of Rt 1 in foiled attempted hoist of said vehicle by
Steve and herself - Resulting in extensive thigh bruising.. |
| Emotional Distress: |
(2) a. Members of 14B approached by weird
drunk girl at Starboard for a little swingin' when her boyfriend gets off
work. |
| Monday, July 1 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
Why can't we recall this? There's no way
possible that there wasn't any bodily harm for an entire night. |
| Emotional Distress: |
(5) a. Everyone is once again distraught by
whatever Mama Maria's was trying to pass off as "sausage" pieces
on the pizza. (Will we ever learn?) |
| Tuesday, July 2 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
(2) a. Nicci starts coming to the gym
with Anna and Alison - bashes into equipment daily. b. Anna and Nicci are poisoned by bad (and
we believe evil) "Big Guys" at the Cork. |
| Emotional Distress: |
(1+) a. At least one member is
traumatized by abnormally awful band opening for Jimmies Chicken
Shack. |
| Wednesday, July 3 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
(2) a. Nicci continues to bash into
equipment at the gym. b. Matt is unable to retain all the beer that he
drank "double duty" at "Double (Taco) Toss"... |
| Emotional Distress: |
(5) a. Matt and Phil drink heavily, everyone is
frightened. b. Matt insists on showing us his butt, again everyone is
frightened. |
| Thursday, July 4 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
(4) a. Nicci takes on a bizarre shoulder
injury. b. Fever blisters start appearing on two other
members. c. We fear that the lining of Phil's stomach is about to
rot completely... |
| Emotional Distress: |
(8) a. Fun Pontoon Boat Booze Cruise
turns into Ecology Tour Learning Experience... All members participating
become frightened and disturbingly sober. b. Nicole was forced to
wake up before noon. |
| Friday, July 5 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
(3) a. Shoulder injury and fever blisters
continue to plague the house. b. Anna falls down several times while
trying to push her grocery cart home from the Starboard - cuts and bruises
ensue. c. Phil has now completely destroyed the lining of his
stomach. |
| Emotional Distress: |
(8) a. The Post-Jam-Session,
Pre-Starboard Agitation at 14B - chaos ensues. b. Small-scale
personal trauma. |
| Saturday, July 6 |
|
| Bodily Harm: |
|
| Emotional Distress: |
(8) a. Time to clear out of the house
and head back to DC. |
And now, it's time for a serious health article... (editorialized by a Dewey
Victim)
Is Your Vacation Making You Sick?
Finally! Your long-awaited vacation has arrived. Yet you feel awful. You have
a headache and muscle pain. What's going on? (I
think we can explain the headaches when reflecting on the number of drinks
consumed at the Starboard...) You may have what some
researchers call weekend headache (hangover?!?!)
or leisure sickness (sloth?!?!). While
it isn't a specific diagnosis, studies suggest that some people
(drunks) are more likely to have headaches or feel ill (Red Bull drinkers)
during their time away from work
(did I mention this was in my SAIC gym?).
To ward off headaches:
Keep the same sleep pattern. Keep the same routine on the weekend or
during the vacations as you have during the week.
(yeah, right, as if that is possible in Dewey!)
Consider your caffeine use. If you drink coffee or other caffeinated
drinks during the workweek, have the same dose at the same time on the weekend
or during vacations.
(Does Capt'-n-Coke count?)
In addition, try exercising during the weekends or vacations. (wait,
we did that! of course, I guess it doesn't help when it stresses you out to wait
an hour for the one decent piece of cardio equipment in the gym... or if you
keep bashing into the machines when you finally get them...)
You might also try taking a stress management course or practicing relaxation
exercises such as yoga. (that's it!
next year we watch yoga videos in stead of Animal House!)
If problems persist, talk with your doctor. (or
give up Eggs Delmarva)
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