The Story After Freiza Beans: ((Freiza Beans 2))
((By Steve Golebiewski- written 11/12/99))
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Narrator from DBZ: Last time on Freiza Beans... Freiza was cursed with
cannibalism, Trunks and Goten just finished their adventurous
documentary on
the 'Chikyuu Witch', and Bulma is now addicted to a new amazingly
delicious
food called 'Freiza Beans', and is about to break VERy expensive statue
just
to get some. And that's where we left off... and now presenting, "THE
STORY
AFTER FREIZA BEANS!"
((Really crappy guitar music starts playing, the title "THE STORY AFTER
FREIZA BEANS" is displayed on the screen))
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"That does it! You see the statue? SEE IT?!!! Say bye bye to
'Guuchuwala'!!!" Yells Bulma, holding the statue over her head.
Vegita's eyes
widen with fear. He dashes over and holds Bulma's hand with all his
might.
"No Vegita!! It has to be done!!! EEEYYYYAAAAHHH!!"
"Dammit put down the statue!! It's a one of a kind! WE CAN'T GET
THEM
ANYMORE!!! PUT IT DOWWWWWWN!!" Screams Vegita, his face turning red
trying to
over power Bulma's grip on the statue. Bulma shoves away Vegita and
runs over
to an open window in the room. She holds the statue out the window with
one
hand.
"DON'T COME ANY CLOSER! Just roll the beans over to me, and the
statue
lives. But if you don't... SHHHHHhhhheeeeewww........
CRASH_clsh-clsh-clsh...
Goodbye statue!" rants Bulma, making the sound effects of the statue
falling
and breaking. Vegita slowly takes one step closer to Bulma, holding his
hands
out.
"...It's okay Bulma, honey... just.... put the statue down NICE and
easy
now..." says Vegita. Bulma shakes the statue as Vegita walks closer.
"No! No more tricky smooth talk! You've ALWAYS been hounding me
about
problems! 'Bulma, did you see the remote?', 'Bulma, where'd you hide my
car
keys?', 'Bulma, why'd you have your period in the bed?' It's always
something!!!" yells Bulma, tearing up in the eyes. Vegita raises an
eyebrow.
"I never said anything about you having a period in the bed..."
"Enough talking! Either give me the beans, or the statue dies!"
yells
Bulma.
"Bulma, thats what I've been trying to tell you! I just came back
from
Freiza’s Headquarters. The ingredients are made of Freiza’s Henchmen!
Kui,
Zarbon, Dodoria, and everyone else!” says Vegita.
“I warned you! Now I... did you say they were made of Dodoria?”
asks
Bulma. Vegita nods. Bulma’s face turns green, she sets the statue back
in the
room.
“Run to the toilet, honey! You can do it!” preps Vegita to Bulma.
Bulma
runs to the bathroom. ten seconds later, you hear horrible vomit sounds
from
inside. Vegita shudders.
“Everything’s going to be okay, Bra... I think.” says Vegita,
looking
nervously at the bathroom.
Just then Trunks walks into the house with his bags.
“Hello? I’m home!” yells out Trunks. Bra runs downstairs to greet
Trunks.
“You’re home! Did you find the witch?” asks Bra.
“No, but it was an exciting camping trip.” Replies Trunks. He walks
off
to the kitchen for a glass of water.
Vegita walks downstairs, the door knocks. Vegita answers it, it’s
ChiChi!
“Vegita, have you seen Goten? He didn’t come back today.” asks
ChiChi.
“Nope, but Trunks may’ve. He’s in the kitchen if you want to ask
him.”
says Vegita. ChiChi walks into the kitchen.
“Trunks, have you seen Goten?” asks ChiChi.
“...I haven’t seen him since dinner...” slurs Trunks, slowly
turning
around. His eyes are glowing a bright pink! “He’s a rather stringy
boy... you
should try... fattening him up more...” rambles Trunks...
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((At the ‘Ginyuu Force Base’...))
Guldo, Jeice, Burter, and Ginyuu are in the main room playing
poker.
“Got any 2’s?” asks Burter. Ginyuu leers at Burter.
“For the last time, we’re playing poker!” snarls Ginyuu. “How about
you
Jeice, how many you drawing?”
“Go fish.” says Jeice. Guldo and Burter snicker. Ginyuu flips up
the
poker table and Ki Blasts Jeice for that comment. Jeice lies on the
floor,
twitching and burnt. Guldo begins to sweat as he tries to calm down
Ginyuu.
“T-Take it easy boss! It’s just a game!” says Guldo.
“IT’S NOT JUST A GAME! IT’S MY LIFE!!!” yells Ginyuu. Recoome walks
in.
“Guys, we got a job from Freiza.” says Recoome. Ginyuu turns to
him.
“Really? What’s the briefing?” asks Ginyuu. Recoome scratches his
head.
“Well, it’s kinda hard to explain. All he said we have to do his go
over
to his Headquarters... and something about bringing our tender, meaty
thighs
with us...” says Recoome. They all raise an eyebrow.
“...G-Go... f... f... fish....” gasps out Jeice, lying on the
floor.
“What do you mean bring our meaty thighs with us?” asks Ginyuu.
“Dont ask me, that’s all that Freiza said.” says Recoome.
“Maybe Freiza is finally noticing our rippling physique.” says Burter,
tensing a muscle. Ginyuu folds his arms and looks up.
“Alright then.” says Ginyuu, he points out the door, “To the space
pods!”
They all run out to their space pods and go in, Jeice drags his burnt
body to
his pod. After they’re all seated in, they get launched off to Freiza’s
HQ.
They all arrive quickly to his HQ. They step out of their space
pods and
get a fresh wiff of the air around Freiza’s HQ. Then they all get in
stance.
Guldo does his pose.
“GULDO!” Yells Guldo, flashing a pose.
“RECOOME!” Yells Recoome, striking a stance.
“JEICE!” Yells Jeice, posing ever so flashy.
“BURTER!” Yells Burter, with pose to strike fear into any mortal.
“GINYU!” yells Ginyu, in front of the group. “AND WE ARE...” Just then,
the
camera rapidly zooms in and out on the group.
“THE GINYU FORCE!!!” They all yell, stars sparkling all over the posing
team.
Just then a bunch of photographers come out of nowhere and begin to
flash
pictures of the group.
“YES! YES! Now give me pout! That’s it!” says one of the photographers.
Not
knowing exactly what’s going on, Burter shrugs and begins to give a
pouty
look.
“C’MON! STRONGER! STRONG LIKE TIGER! MAKE ME WANT TO RUN IN FEAR!”
yells
another photographer with an accent, Jeice quickly gets out of pose and
begins to gringe his teeth and roar. Another photographer walks around
Captain Ginyu and examines him closely.
“Hmm... not bad... but I say, add some hair extensions on the sides,
lower
your eyebrows, and and give you green tinted contacts... and tell me,
how do
you feel about breast implants?” says the photographer. Ginyu snarls
and
bashes away the photographer.
“Get out of here! All of you! Have you no shame?” yells Ginyu. One
photographer with a heavy load of camera equpiment sniffles and begins
to
tear up.
"But it's the job I was born for..." he says. The crying photographer
slowly
walks away, holding his head sheepishly. The photographers follow him
and
comfort him, looking back at the Ginyu force and snarling. The Ginyu
force
just stands there for a while, not really knowing what just happened.
Then
they walk into Freiza's Headquarters.
As they walk in, they notice the halls are empty, and kinda
wrecked. They
all take a few more steps in
"Hellooooooooooooo?" asks Ginyu. The halls are so empty that is echoes
all
around. Recoome scratches his head.
"Where is everybody?" Asks Recoome. Jeice walks around a bit, looking
all
around for someone. Finally, Jeice gets bored and leans against a
wall.
Unfortunately for Jeice, he didn't see it was the laundry hamper. As
Jeice
leaned against it, he went falling down the winding steel hamper shoot.
"WAAAAAAAAH!!" yelled Jeice as he slid down the laundry shoot. He came
out
the end into a pile of dirty laundry. He gasped for air as he struggled
to
get out of the big pile dirty clothes, finally he dug himself out and
realized he was in the laundry room ((duh)). He looked around the small
square room and found a handful of Freiza's henchmen sitting in a
circle. All
his henchmen turn to Jeice. Jeice just stares at them for a while, not
quite
getting what is going on. "Umm... are you all doing laundry together?"
asks
Jeice, looking from side to side of the small room. One of the hencmen
gets
up.
"Jeice! Are we glad to see you! We have something urgent to report!" he
says.
Jeice steps out of the laundry pile and walks toward the circle of
henchmen.
"Hey, wait a minute. I take orders from Freiza, not his little
lackies!"
retorts Jeice.
"No! You don't understand! Freiza has turned in to a cannibal! If
you're not
careful, he'll eat you next!" says the henchman. Jeice raises an
eyebrow.
"...What are you talking about?" asks Jeice.
"We're not sure what happened, but before we knew it Freiza was barging
around, eating anyone he could find! Dodoria, Zarbon, and Kui were
already
eaten!"
Jeice begins to think about what he's talking about, then sits down
with
everyone else.
"Now it's like this, Jeice. He's a cannibal and eating everyone, we
told you
that. That's why we're all hiding down here, so he cant find us and
turn us
into Freiza Beans. Now, we've discussed this and realized that if we
can get
all seven Dragon Balls, we can wish him not to be a cannibal anymore!"
"But, aren't all the Dragon Balls in Freiza's room?" asks Jeice.
"Yes, but we figured it would be safer to stay down here rather than
risk our
necks up there! That's where you come in. We propose that you go up
there and
get the Dragon Balls!" says the henchman.
"Now wait a minute! Why do I have to get them?"
"Well, okay, lets have a vote then. Who votes that Jeice goes up and
gets the
Dragon Balls?" all the henchmen raise their hands. "Who opposes?" Jeice
raises his hand. "Well, majority has spoken Jeice, get your ass up
there and
get the Dragon Balls!" says the henchman. Jeice grumbles a bit and
climbs
back up the laundry shoot.
Jeice gets out of the laundry shoot and brushes the dust off him.
"Now let's see... The Dragon Balls are in Freiza's room, and Freiza's
room is
that way." says Jeice, looking to his left. He walks over to the left.
He
hears Recoome scream more towards the hall. "That was Recoome!" yells
Jeice.
Jeice begins to run down the hall,and finally makes it to Freiza's
room.
There are all seven Dragon Balls. Jeice walks towards them, but recoome
puts
a hand on Jeice's shoulder, Jeice gasps. "Oh... it's only you Recoome,
dont
scare me like..." Before Jeice can finish, He realizes the hand of
Recoome is
only an arm! A bloody, ripped arm!
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" screams Jeice, and he notices an obese
Freiza with
a can of Freiza Beans.
"So, you're planning to unwish my cannibalism, huh? Not this time,
pretty
boy!" yells Freiza. He dashes over and huddles all his Dragon Balls
very
close. Ginyuu, Burter, and Guldo run in the room to see what's going
on. "I
like eating people! They're so much tastier than Quarter-pounders with
cheese!" then Freiza looks at all the Dragon Balls. "You see these? You
want
em?" he asks holding them out. The rest of the Ginyuu force looks at
him
nervously.
"No! Don't!" yells Jeice. Freiza turns to the giant window in his room,
and
chucks all seven Dragon Balls out the window and in different
directions.
"Go fetch, boy!" says Freiza. Burter's jaw drops as he see's the Dragon
Balls
fly out.
"Man... Those went pretty far!" says Burter.
"Now no one can stop me! AH HA HA HA HA!" Brags Freiza. Just then,
Guldo
delivers a karate chop to Freiza's neck, stopping the blood flow and
making
him go unconscious. Freiza falls to the floor.
"Good job, Guldo." says Ginyuu. "Now then, about those Dragon Balls.
Jeice,
Burter, and myself will go looking all over for them. Guldo, you stay
here
with Freiza and make sure he dosen't eat anybody."
"What? How do I do that??" asks Guldo.
"I don't know... hog-tie him or something." says Ginyuu. Then he points
out
the window. "TO THE DRAGON BALLS!!!" he yells out, then the three of
them fly
out. Guldo turns and looks at Freiza who is still lying on the floor.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------
((Later, at the "Jerry Springer Show"))
The title the "Jerry Springer Show" appears on the screen, along
with
their saxaphone music. It also shows the audience cheering and
clapping. Then
it focuses on Jerry.
"Hello, Welcome everyone." says Jerry. "Today's topic is, 'I'm a
Cannibal... Deal with it!'" after Jerry finishes, the crowd begins
cheering
and clapping. "Now, today we have with us... ChiChi." The camera to the
show
focuses on her, sitting in a chair. "ChiChi is a devoted wife, mother,
and
former warrior. Welcome to the show ChiChi." finishes Jerry. The crowd
cheers
for her.
"Thank you, Jerry." says ChiChi.
"Now... you say your son was eaten by a cannibal while doing a
documentary."
"Yes." the crowd begins aweing and making sad expressions. "Not only
that
Jerry, he was eaten by his best friend!" finishes ChiChi, who is
crying, one
of the stage managers brings her a box of tissues.
"Well, ChiChi, we have a way you can get revenge... Let's bring out
Goten's
cannibal, Trunks!" says Jerry. Trunks walks out of the entrance door,
everyone in the audience gets into a chorus of booing and cursing.
Trunks
waves his middle fingers around to the audience, then walks over and
takes a
seat next to ChiChi. "Welcome to show Trunks."
"It's great to be here, Jerry." says Trunks.
"How could you? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO MY BABY BOY?!?!?!?!?" screams
ChiChi
as she lunges for Trunks. The whole audience starts cheering and chants
"JE-RRY! JE-RRY!"
"You stupid *bleep* get your *bleeping* hands off my *bleep*!" yells
trunks,
trying to fight off the enraged ChiChi.
"NO, YOU LITTLE *bleep bleep* *bleep* YOU *bleep* YOU *bleeping* ATE MY
*bleeping* SON YOU *bleep* *bleep*!!!" screams ChiChi. The whole
audience
still claps and cheers, but nervously. "*Bleep* YOU *bleeping bleep
bleeping
bleep* AND *bleep* AND *bleep* AND *bleep*!!!" Now only a few people in
the
audience clap, the rest watch on with horror as ChiChi beats down
Trunks. A
few people in the audience shed a tear of fear. Finally, a bunch of
security
guards pull ChiChi and Trunks away, and they both take their seats. The
audience is now completely quiet, expressions of fear and shock are on
all
their faces. Jerry clears his throat.
"...Yes... well, um..." says Jerry. A trickle of blood rolls down
Trunks
mouth.
"...Yajirobe fights better than you..." mutters Trunks.
"Oh that does it, YOU'RE GOING DOWN YOU LITTLE MOTHER *bleeper*!!!"
yells
ChiChi as she tackles Trunks. The whole audience starts cheering and
clapping
again, and they chant "JE-RRY! JE-RRY!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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((Later, on Chikyuu))=[[Chikyuu means Earth, for those that don't
know...]]
Ginyuu lands on Earth and looks from side to side for wherever the
Dragon
Balls may have landed. He scratches his head.
"Aww, crap! They could be anywhere!" he says. "Time for my trusty
scouter to
do a little searching for me..." Ginyuu whips out his green scouter and
taps
the button on the side a few times. It bleeps and bloops a few times,
then
points west. "Ah-HA!" exclaims Ginyuu. He flies off in that direction.
Ginyuu's scouter leads him to a building called PBS.
"This must be it." says Ginyuu.
Everyone inside the PBS building is either at a desk drinking
coffee, at
a camera drinking coffee, or fixing the stage drinking coffee. Just
then, the
wall gets blasted and everyone runs away screaming and clutching
they're
blessed coffee. The smoke clears and reveals Ginyuu with one open palm
to the
wall. He puts his palm down and rings the door bell.
"Hello? Anybody home?" asks Ginyuu. Then Ginyuu stops and thinks for a
while.
"...Crap... Jeice told me about this... I'm supposed to RING... and
THEN
ENTER." With that, Ginyuu walks through the hole in the wall he made
casually. He taps his scouter for a location of the Dragon Balls, and
it
leads him in a direction just past a door in front of him. He walks
past the
door and notices many more doors with stars on the doors.
Ginyuu barges through the first door. It's the red Teletubby, Po!
Po
turns around in surprise at Ginyuu. Ginyuu's eyes widen with shock.
"Wha? What the hell are you?" yells Ginyuu.
"PO!" shouts Po gleefully.
"Hmm... your not a Saiyan... not a Namek... Perhaps an Android?"
wonders
Ginyuu.
"Po!" shouts Po again. Ginyuu checks his scouter at Po.
<
Ginyuu bursts out with laughter.
"Ya little shrimp, you ain't worth my time. The Dragon Ball isn't in
here."
Ginyuu walks out. He kicks down the door next to Po's room. It's the
purple
Teletubby, Tinky Winky! "Hmph, another one." says Ginyuu.
"Tinky Winky!" the teletubby shouts. Then Tinky Winky eyes Ginyuu up
and
down. Ginyuu raises an eyebrow and checks his power level.
<
"Another weakling! And no Dragon Ball in here!" says Ginyuu. He walks
out and
Tinky Winky spanks Ginyuu's bottom. "Woo Woo!" squeals Ginyuu. He rubs
his
bottom, slams the door, and punches down the next door. It's the green
Teletubby, Tipsy!
"Tipsy!" whelps the green teletubby.
"Not in here either." says Ginyuu. He walks out and goes in the last
door.
It's the yellow Teletubby, Lala! And Lala has the Dragon Ball! Ginyuu's
eyes
widen. "YES! Finally, the Dragon Ball!" yells Ginyuu. He walks over and
tries
to grab the Dragon Ball, but Lala holds on tight.
"Lala's Ball!!!" yells Lala.
"No, it's not Lala's ball, it's a Dragon Ball I need to uncannibalize
Freiza!!!" says Ginyuu, trying to get the ball.
"LA------LA'S---- BAAAAALLLLLL!!!!" roars Lala in a demonic voice.
Ginyuu
hops back scared, his eyes widened.
"What the? Better get a power reading." says Ginyuu, tapping his
scouter.
<
"AAAAHHHHH!" screams Ginyuu at the Power Reading. He quivers, sweat
breaks
all over his face and body. Lala merely plays with the Dragon Ball.
"Such a
peaceful creature, yet... so unwittingly powerful..." says Ginyuu.
"Look at
it... just playing, plotting devious schemes as it acts so harmless...
what
an EVIL creature..." quivers Ginyuu, stepping back. Lala just looks
back at
Ginyuu and smiles.
"Lala!" cheers the yellow teletubby. Ginyuu squeals like a little girl
and
jumps behind a table, using it as a sheild. He pokes his head over it
and
watches Lala from a distance.
"It's clever... TOO clever..." murmurs Ginyuu to himself. "I must
outsmart it
somehow..." Ginyuu begins to think, then it clicks in his head. "I got
it!"
Lala rolls around the Dragon Ball.
"Hey, yellow thingy!" calls out Ginyuu. Lala turns with a puzzled look
back
at Ginyuu. At that moment, he spreads out his arms and gathers energy.
"CHANGE... NOW!!!" yells Ginyuu at the top of his lungs. The strange
switch
takes place, Ginyuu's soul enters Lala's body, and vice versa. The two
feel a
bit woozy after the change, but then come to their senses. Ginyuu looks
at
his newly acquired fuzzy yellow body. "YES! I now have the body of the
most
powerful creature in the universe!" shouts out Ginyuu in Lala's body.
The
Ginyuu-Lala throws his hands up in the air with power, Lala in Ginyuu's
body
merely raises an eyebrow.
"Lala?"
"Ha ha! And this Dragon Ball is mine too! Mwa ha ha! So long, weird
thingy!"
says Ginyuu-Lala, and he waddles out the door with the Dragon Ball and
flies
out. Just then, a stage manager yells in Lala's room.
"Yellow Teletubby! You're on in 5 minutes!"
The Lala-Ginyuu runs out the door with it's new purple, alien, muscle
bound
body.
"Lala!" it shouts out in glee.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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((Back at Freiza's Headquarters))
"Ugghhh..." groans Freiza as he comes to his senses. His vision is
blurred for a moment, then comes into focus. Guldo stands in front of
him,
and Freiza realizes the position he's in. He looks around and finds his
belly
to floor, hog tied! Freiza swings himself back and forth to try to get
himself out of the rope. Guldo looks to Freiza.
"Give it up, Freiza. You're not going anywhere until we can cure your
cannibalism." says Guldo.
"What're you talking about???" yells an enraged Freiza.
"Don't lie! You just ate Recoome, I don't even wanna know how many of
your
other men you ate."
"Pudgey four eyed looking frog man! You think these ropes can hold
me?!?"
says Freiza, and he begins to grunt and groan and leans himself back
and
forth trying to break free of the ropes. After leaning himself to the
sides
for a while, he lands on his side with a thud. "...Ow." says Freiza, on
his
ribs. Guldo raises an eyebrow ((assuming he has eyebrows)).
"Uh-huh. Well, you keep at it, I'm gonna contact the captain." says
Guldo,
beginning to walk out of the room. Freiza hops back onto his belly,
still
having his hands tied to his feet behind his back. He hops over to
Guldo who
is walking out.
"HEY! Get back here, ya little blubbery frog man!" yells Freiza. "Get
back her
e, I'll rip ya apart! I'll bite ya! ARR-ARR-ARR-ARR-ARR!!!" Freiza
makes
biting sounds and barks at Guldo. Guldo finally walks out the door.
Freiza
let's out a heavy sigh, realizing he's gonna stay hog tied for quite
some
time.
Guldo taps on a radio with headphones on his ears, turning a knob
on the
radio to receive the captains signals.
"Captain? Captain are you there?" asks Guldo. He recieves a faint
response
through the static.
"Lala..." says a voice on the other line. Guldo gives a puzzled look.
"Uh, captain? Have you found the Dragon Balls?"
"Lala..."
"Captain, I can't make out what your saying! Please speak clearly."
"...Lala's Ball!"
"Captain, are you feeling alright?" asks Guldo. But before the voice
can
respond, his siganl gets cut off. Guldo throws down the head phones and
grunts. Right after that, he hears a faint voice from Freiza's room.
"...Gulllllldooooo..." whispers an eerie voice from the room. Guldo
slowly
turns to it with a sweat drop rolling down the side of his head.
"...Guuuullll
ldooooo..." the voice says again. Guldo slowly walks over to Freiza's
room
and opens the door. The room is pitch black, excpet Guldo can see the
hog-tied Freiza levatating in the air. Frieza raises his head to face
Guldo,
his eyes glowing pink ((You know what that means!)). Guldo gives Freiza
a
puzzled look, Freiza just smiles... an eerie, freakish smile. "...My
dear
Guldo... you have every right to tie me up like this. I'm so...
DANGEROUS in
this state..." says Freiza, still floating.
"Freiza... w-what're you doing?" asks Guldo.
"But you see, Guldo... I can help others with my little problem. I
created a
food so great using the people I eat... BEHOLD!" says Freiza, then a
curtain
drops from behind him. Guldo sheilds his eyes as the room is instantly
filled
with a bright white light from what is behind the curtain. Guldo
squints and
see's there is a glass wall filled 'Freiza Bean' cans. All the cans are
perfectly stacked behind the glass and the bright light illuminating
the
stacking area. Guldo's eyes widen at the sight of all the beans.
"Wha... what is it?" asks Guldo.
"Why, it's my amazing new food... Freiza Beans. Here, have a sample...
they
even taste exquisite when they're cold." Freiza telekinetically brings
Guldo
a can and opens it for him. Guldo takes the can and takes a handful. He
eats
it, and his eyes turn sparkling and dazed.
"My God! These are the most delicious things I've ever eaten!" exclaims
Guldo. Freiza smiles devilishly, his eyes still glowing pink.
"And all these cans can be yours, if you do one... easy thing for
me..."
starts Freiza. "Un tie me, and they're all yours." Guldo thought about
it,
and shrugged.
"Hm, okay." said Guldo as he went over and un tied Freiza. Freiza
flipped to
the ground and turned to Guldo with his pink glowing eyes.
"Now you're gettin' in my belly, four eyes!" growled Freiza drooling
from the
mouth.
"...I should've seen this coming..." said Guldo in a non-chalant voice.
Freiza leaped onto Guldo and started biting away at him, Guldo screamed
and
tried to get away.
"FREIZA BEANS!!!!!!!" screamed Freiza and he munched away on Guldo.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------
((Back on Chikyuu... On the set of the show 'COPS'...))
A camera is aimed at a middle aged cop driving in a car. The cop
has a
mustache, and his name 'Jeffery Daniels' is posted at the bottom of the
screen.
"Well, ya see..." started Jeff, the camera aimed at the side of his
face as
he drove, "We find a lot of weirdos and criminals that break the law.
Usually
we arrest them, but if they're not commiting crimes we don't. We never
leave
the area until our man is found, unlike my wife..." says Jeff, his eyes
tearing up. "I... I don't know where we went wrong, Debbie. If only
you'd be
more direct." his voice quivering now. "Why? Why'd ya leave me???"
cries the
cop, hiding his face. Just then, his radio gives off a static sound and
then
someone speaks from the other end.
"Jeff? Jeff ya there? We got a 1-0-9-0-4-6-7-2. Come by the 'Susan's
Cafe' on
the double." finishes the voice. Jeff stops crying and looks to the
camera
and groans.
"Ahh, a 1-0-9-0-4-6-7-2. Casting curses on other people without a
permit.
See? This is what I mean about people breakin' the law... pisses me
off."
says the cop.
He makes a few turns as he drives down the road and stops near the
area
at 'Susan's Cafe'. He steps out and the camera follows him. He steps
inside
the cafe and walks over to a group of cops. They're all surrounded
around a
lady having seizures and Ecoostik! Jeff walks into the huddle of cops
and
straightens his belt.
"Alright... what seems to be the problem here?" asks Jeff.
"Sir, we have reason to believe this little green man is inflicting a
world
wide spread of curses... or at least in most of California." says
another
cop. Jeff kneels down to Ecoostik's eye level and looks him in the
eyes.
"Sir, are you aware it is illegal to cast curses without a license?"
asks
Jeff, trying to act as intimidating as possible.
"What are you talking about?" asks Ecoostik, trying to act dumb.
"Sir, we have several witnesses that you cast the curse of convulsions
on
this young lady." says Jeff, the lady twitching and vibrating so much
that
she slides out of her chair and onto the floor, still having
convulsions.
"Well... I..." starts Ecoostik, shrugging. He eyes all the cops for a
second,
then dashes passed all of them and runs out of the cafe. Jeff runs
after him
and the camera man follows them.
Jeff follows Ecoostik through the night, the camera man shaking the
camera horribly as he follows them. Ecoostik, being as small as he his,
runs
incredibly fast. Jeff begins to slow down his pace, breathing heavy.
Finally,
he takes time out to rest, he looks to the ground and huffs and puffs
while
the camera man keeps up with Ecoostik with no problem. Ecoostik looks
back in
shock as he finds the camera man not even tired from the running. The
camera
man's shows no emotion on his face and he blankly keeps after his
target.
Ecoostik climbs and heaves himself over a fence, then jumps over to the
other
side. As soon as he hits the ground he starts running again, he looks
back to
the camera man... the camera man does a simple hop over the fence and
continues after Ecoostik with the camera pointed straight at him. The
camera
man's face turns around to see where Jeff went. Jeff is about a mile
behind
still catching his breath.
"Get 'im!" yells Jeff to the camera man, Jeff still huffing and
puffing.
After a while of running, the camera man and Jeff end up in a
suburban
backyard. The camera man has the camera closed in to the side of Jeff's
face,
all sweaty and exhausted. Jeff looks around the backyard and while the
camera
is held close at his face.
"*Huff**puff**huff**puff**huff*... We, uh *huff**puff* we know he's in
here
somewhere." says Jeff, breathing heavy. He scouts around every area in
the
backyard, and can't find him. Jeff and the camera man pass a nearby
bush,
that's where Ecoostik hides. Ecoostik has his arms and legs streched
out in
the bush in strange contorting ways, hoping to camouflage himself. His
eyes
are very wide, hoping he's blending in well with the bush as Jeff and
the
camera man scout around.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------
((Meanwhile, at the 'Dr. Gero Rehab Center'...))
"You can do it this time Bulma... now, remember... will power is
the
key!" says Doctor Gero, sitting at a small table across from Bulma.
Bulma and
Dr. Gero are sitting in a small, cubical white room with a leather
couch on
one side and the table in the center. There is also a big window behind
them,
where Androids 16, 17, and 18 are all in lab coats, jotting down notes
onto
their pads. Bulma has her hands, fiddling with her fingers, ready for
any
test Dr. Gero does.
"...I'm ready, doctor..." says Bulma, taking in a deep breath.
"Okay now..." says Dr. Gero, his eyes remain on Bulma, and he slowly
reaches
for something under the table. After he gets it, he whips it out onto
the
table with a thud. It's a can of Freiza Beans! Bulma shrieks.
"AAAHHH! You said you'd take it out slowly this time! You said you'd do
it
slower! You promised!!!" Cries Bulma, quivering and sweating as she
looks at
the can of Freiza Beans.
"I know what I said! But to overcome your urges you must contain
yourself
immediately!" says Dr. Gero in a loud controlling voice, trying to help
Bulma
realize what he's doing is right. "Now remember Bulma, you DO NOT NEED
THESE
BEANS TO LIVE! YOU DO NOT WANT THESE BEANS!" repeats Dr. Gero. Bulma
takes a
heavy sigh and stares at the can.
"...I...I do not need these beans to live..."
"LOUDER!!! DO NOT LET THE BEANS CONTROL YOU!!! SHOW THEM WHO'S BOSS!!!"
yells
Dr. Gero. Bulma begins crying again and blurts out the words.
"I DO NOT NEED THESE BEANS TO LIVE!!!" cries Bulma, her make-up running
down
her face from the tears.
"Yes! That's it! Now remember... you do not WANT these beans either."
"I DO NOT WANT THESE BEANS!!!"
"Good! We're making progress. Look at the beans..." says Dr, Gero,
opening
the can. He reveals the open can to Bulma. "...This food is blue...
normal
food is not blue. It is a bunch of sloppy beans... sloppy beans are
yucky and
make you fart quite a lot. They're blue, sloppy, and gascious. You say
it
now."
"They are blue... sloppy... and... and... delicious..."
"NO NO NO!!! AGAIN!!! THEY ARE BLUE, THEY ARE SLOPPY, AND THEY MAKE YOU
FART!!
!" yells Dr. Gero to Bulma. Bulma cries again.
"BLUE SLOPPY AND GASCIOUS!!! BLUE SLOPPY AND GASCIOUS!!! BLUE SLOPPY
AND
GASCIOUS!!!" she wails with her eyes closed, tears still running down
her
face. Dr. Gero turns calm again.
"Very good, you're making good progress today. Say this over 10 times
and you
will be healed." says Dr.Gero. Bulma nods.
"They are blue, sloppy, and gascious... blue, sloppy, and gascious...
blue...
sloppy... and gascious... blue... s-sloppy... and... and..." stammers
Bulma.
Her eyes are glassy and her lips quiver, staring at the open can of
blue
beans. A string of drool runs down her lip, Dr. Gero raises an eyebrow.
"...Bulma? Say it... say it again..." encourages the doctor. Bulma
stares at
the beans, her eyes widened...
TO BE CONTINUED...
<
story of Freiza Beans! I admit, this story moved way too slow... but
look on
the bright side, Teletubbies! Everyone loves Teletubbies, except me,
they
scare me! Them and the horror of me having sleepless nights trying to
finish
this story. Like my last story, I stayed up every night to finish this
garbage
. I just want it to be over, I need food, and timothy grass can kill
mice...
Dammit! I've stayed up so late again that I've stopped making sense!>>
-Steve
Part 3 "Ahh! Not another one!
