By Laura (staunch supporter of Vegeta addiction)
*when written like this Vegeta is
thinking
when written like this Bulma is thinking
It was a perfect day for Vegeta; this means that he was training his @ss off in his gravity room while the calming voices of the teletubbies on TV kept him happy.
Just then a huge, ‘VEGETA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ from Bulma came out of nowhere and shattered the TV screen. This resulting death of his teletubbies episode made Vegeta start to shake with anger.
Stupid baka, thought Vegeta, why can’t she just bloody well ring a bell or something?!
The reason for her calling him like this is because she had broken her leg and intended to use her injury for every evil use she could think of, and this included having vegeta at her beck and call.
‘WHAT DO YOU F***ING WELL WANT WOMAN?’
‘COME HERE AND I’LL TELL YOU!’
So he went, blowing up numerous small creatures on the way.
“Well?’ he asked.
‘Trunks has a parent teacher meeting and I can’t go…’
He smirked, ‘What a pity, BYE!’ and seeing where the conversation was going he started to leave at a sprint.
‘COME BACK HERE YOU WORTHLESS DAMN MONKEY!!!’ Bulma screamed, and knowing the reaction this would get she braced herself on the bed.
‘WHAAAAAT???!!!!’ Came Vegeta’s roar in reply.
‘Well,’ said Bulma, ‘if you don’t have the hair on your chest to…’
“I shave my chest” interrupted Vegeta. As if she didn’t know.
That’s one mystery solved, ‘Okaaay… Anyway, if you’re too chicken to go to this thing than I don’t think you should. I mean, I don’t want to stress your “delicate” feelings…’
‘WHAT? My feelings are not delicate, and you are definitely pushing it, you pitiful excuse for a woman!!’ or man… ‘Fine, I’ll go.’
That’ll show her, stupid blue haired
shrew.
‘Okay then, you should leave with Trunks in ten minutes. Bye bye, my sweetie poopie luvvie wuvvie honey-‘
‘SHUT THE HELL UP!!! I HATE YOU!!!!’
and I’m missing the teletubbies omnibus too, damn her!
Bulma, meanwhile, sat on her bed and
smirked evilly. Another reverse psychology job well done, Bulma my dear,
you are a genius!
So he decided that if this meeting was going to be anything, he was going to make it interesting. So for a start he went SSJ2 to add to the effect.
‘Hey! Brat! We’re leaving so MOVE IT!’
‘Cumin dad.’
Hmmmm, it sounds like he’s not so interested in going to this effin thing either.
And they arrive, go in, sit down etc.
While Trunks “mingled”, Vegeta checked out
all the other victims of this meeting. Well, there’s a funny bald man who
keeps chewing on his pinkie with his son, some cocky wrestler guy whose name
sounds faintly like “Coat Mangle” with his retarded looking son, an evil clown
with his son and AAAAAAAAARGH!!! KAKAROTT!!!!
At that very moment Goku spots Vegeta and waves happily.
‘Hey Vegeta! I’m so glad we’re getting together after all these months!’
Uuuuurgh.
‘Here’s a pamphlet I found! Hmmmmmm, “Meeting for parents whose children are evil incarnate” Now why would they say that?’
Beats me, the only brat here who is close
to being evil is mine, and he isn’t even close to my pure evilness.
All through
Goku’s painfully happy comments, Vegeta had been standing there and giving him
death stares. Finally it sinks into Goku that something might be wrong.
‘Um,
Vegeta? Is there
something wrong? Wait! I know what just you need!’
Vegeta waits,
‘GROUP
HUG!!!!!’ Goku rushes
forward and hugs the mortified Vegeta and waits for every one to join in.
“GET OFF OF ME YOU @SSHOLE!!!!!
I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!”
Vegeta then powered up to SSJ4 and threw the shocked Goku halfway across the school.
Just then the counsellor walks in, and Vegeta, remembering Trunks and the meeting, powers down and takes a seat. Unfortunately Goku had run back, forgiven Vegeta and was now bobbing up (rather like a retarded pigeon) and down with Goten in the seats next to him.
I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I
hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I HATE HIM!!!
‘Now ve shall begin.’ Starts the counsellor, ‘Firstly, I vud like ze parents to explain vy
yoo sink yoo are here. Startink vis ze clown.’
And so they go all the way around the group until only Goku and Vegeta are left.
‘Now, hmmmm, mister Goku, vy do yoo sink yoo are here?’
‘Because I love Dandelions!’
‘Good, very good. Carry on.’
‘But me and my son are both secretly addicted to women and toothpaste.um.’
‘Aaaah, I seeeee. Vunderfull. Now lets see, Vegeta. Vat do yoo sink about zis?’
‘If you must know, I am here because my woman at home ordered me to come and I couldn’t give a damn about what happens here.’
‘Veeeery goood Vegeta, zats ze ticket, let all your feelinks out…’
‘F*ck off.’ RESIST! YOU CAN’T BLOW THIS FREAK UP!!! Yet.
Used to this kind of reaction, the counsellor turns to the rest of the group.
‘Right people, ve are now goink to shplit up. All ze sons go zat way unt all ze vaders cum vis me.’
Vegeta unhappily watched his only possible partner in crime walk away.
Bugger. Looks like I’ll have to do this on my own.
‘Ok everybody, ve vill now shplit into pairs, ze exercise is to now try and fight vis sumone in a nice way. Ondershtand?’ The counsellor looked around and wondered vaguely why Vegeta had an extremely evil smile on his face. ‘Okay now, find sum partners now!’
Surprise surprise, Vegeta ended up with Goku. They immediately started blowing things up and creating total and utter chaos.
‘VAIT! Shtop it! Shtop it! Yoo, Vegeta, go vis ze clown. Unt yoo, Goku, go vis ze balt man. Kvickly now!’
To put it lightly, this made Vegeta very, very mad. Just to irritate the f*cking counsellor and make himself feel better; he decided to heat things up a bit.
All right clowny, see if you can take this in a bloody nice way.
‘FINAL FLASH!’
The leftover fried clown on the wall slowly dripped down and crawled out the door.
‘OK enuf of zat! Ve vill now talk about our hobbies, shit in a shircle now!’
As Vegeta heads to get a space on the carpet, he happens to glance over at the room where Trunks was and sees his son giving Goten the beating of his life while the others looked on in horror. At that moment Trunks saw him and gave him a happy smile of pure evil, then returned to burying Goten’s head in the wall. Vegeta smirked and sat down.
‘Right, now its time to tell eechozer about your hobbies. Please start Goku.’
‘Well, um, besides from fighting, I’m the head of a secret company which trades black-market finger puppets. And I enjoy Icelandic opera and eating butterflies.’
‘Vell, zats nice to know.’
Then he went through the bald man who confessed he is part of the Russian gymnastics team, and the wrestler who also agreed about loving dandelions and small furry animals.
‘Now, Vegeta. Your turn.’
‘Fighting is my life. I also enjoy blowing things up. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? WHEN WILL THIS GODAWFUL RUBBISH BE OVER? THE PRINCE OF SAIJINS SHOULD NOT BE SUBJECTED TO THIS TORTURE! Errrr, yes, that’s about it.’
‘Nice. Veeeery nice feelink Vegeta.’
“I told you, f*ck off!’ Just… a…few…more…minutes…gnuuuu…
Just then, Trunks rushed in. ‘Dad! I…cant…TAKE…THIS!’
‘You know brat, I agree. Lets blow this school to hell and go home to get revenge on your mother.’
**{Evil laugh coming from Trunks}
*!!!BOOM!!!*
Then all that was left was the charred therapy group and a few rocks left over from the school, with Vegeta and Trunks standing on ground Zero.
You know, I should become an architect, I really have made an improvement to the school. Now for Bulma. The SheWhore will pay for the evil she has done to the saijin prince!
So now things seemed to be going well for Vegeta, with thoughts of sweet destruction to come on his mind. But then…
‘Hey Vegeta!’ It was Goku.
‘Sorry to bother you like this but when you destroyed the school you blew up my car and the cell phone. Chi Chi’s away for the next month with Gohan so I was wondering if we could stay with you guys?’
F%#$#@*@##!!!!!!!!! ‘I’ll ask Bulma.’
She will never let them stay, not with her broken leg. He
he. It’s the streets for you Kakarotto!
‘Gee thanks Veggie!’
‘DON’T CALL ME VEGGIE!! IT’S VEGETA!!!’
‘Sorry…’
So they walked home and Vegeta presented the idea of Goku staying to Bulma in the worst possible way.
‘Sure they can stay! And when Chi Chi and Gohan get back they can keep me company as well! For at least the three months it will take for my leg to heal!’
‘Did you hear that Vegeta?’ Goku squealed, ‘three months of blissful bonding time between you and my entire family!!! Wheeeee!’ And he scampered off to play in the gravity room.
And Vegeta stood there. Silently he wondered how the gods could do this to him, Prince of all saijins, stuck in a house with Kakarott for THREE MONTHS.
He started to cry.
THE SAGA WILL CONTINUE, SOON…
