***IF YOU THINK ANY OF THIS IS TRUE, YOU NEED TO GET YOUR HEAD CHECKED...
It started out as a nice day when out of the blue I ran into none other than Nick Carter at the Loreal counter at a local store. It was Nick who started this conversation...
N : Hey...don't you know who I am?
Me: Oh yeah...you're that kid from Home Improvement aren't you? Hey, great job on that show!
N:(annoyed)NO! I am not him...I am Nick Carter, the one and only, haven't you ever heard of me?
Me:Oh yeah...yeah, I have...see ya' later...
N: You are just gonna walk away? You don't want to ask me something? I mean, you know I love my fans and would do anything for them.
Me:Hmmm. I see you have that one memorized.Fine...I will ask you some questions
N:OK, but I am hungry. Its lunch time.
(We went to some greasy pizza place and Nick ordered a large pizza)
Me:So, Nick...Nick???...HEY NICK!
(Nick is gazing adoringly at himself in the mirror)
Me:NICK!!!
N:Huh? Oh, sorry...what do you want?
Me: Remember? You said we could do an interview...
N:Oh...ok...(looking desperately around)um...
Me:Is something wrong?
N:I am not supposed to say anything without my mom...
Me:I don't really think it matters...
N:But she is in charge though
Me:Dammit, Nick, fine, forget it
N:What magazine are you from? Is this...um...you know...a planned...talk?
Me:(annoyed as all hell)You mean a scheduled interview?...No...Remember? You ASKED me if I wanted to ask you some questions.
N:I did?
Me:...yeah. Are you really this stupid?
N:huh?
Me:Nevermind
N:That's one of Nirvanas albums!!!
Me:yes it is. Very good.
N:Are we gonna talk about that then?
Me:Is that what you want to talk about?(still annoyed)
N:Well! You are the interviewer! You decide! What magazine did you say you were from?
Me:Ok, I am gonna leave now
N:Oh, come on...one question...
Me: Ok, fine....NICK! HEY!!!!
(Nick is transfixed by his reflection in the mirror on the wall)
N:(sighing)Wow...
Me:Is something wrong?
N:No...But this guy is real good looking. I bet he gets all the chicks
Me;Uh huh. You do realize that its you right?
N:Yup I do.
Me:Right, ok. So lets talk about this book of yours...
Nick is still gazing at himself
Me:HEY NICK!!!!..dammit. You know I think Justin Timberlake is hotter than you!
Nick is snapped out of his daze
N:WHAT??? JUSTIN??? HOW CAN YOU THINK THAT?
I shrug
N:I am WAY hotter than him!!!!! In fact, I AM WAY hotter than all of 'NSync...HOW CAN YOU THINK THAT???
Me:(realizing he will forget all that in a minute)So, I was wondering, why did you have your mother write a book about you?
N:Huh? Oh...well at first, we tried to have me write it, but the company...you know, the one that puts books out...
Me:The publishing company?
N:Yeah, whatever, they didn't like what I wrote...
Me:Could it be that you can't write?
N:hmmm...you know...maybe thats it...
Me:Then again, neither can your mother
N:Yeah, but mom got the book deal...She wanted to write it for the fans.
Me:Oh I forgot. It's all about the fans right?
N:...yeah
Me:And I am sure your mom didn't want to make some extra cash. Ok, next question...DAMMIT ALL NICK!!!
(Nick has once again began to look at himself and is sighing)
I see an escape and leave quickly...not that I would have had to sneak away. When Nick begins gazing, he never stops...
Keep checking for My Interview Part II...maybe this time I will be able to get some questions in...