The following story was sent to me by Nikki...I thought it was hilarious, so I put it up! Enjoy!
Jerry: Hello, and welcome to the show. Todays guests are people who
want to
set the red hot rumors circulating about them and prove them false. Our
first
guest is Justin Timberlake!
::Audience cheerls loudly and gives Justin a standing ovation when he
comes
in. Justin has a smile on his face and sits down.::
Justin: Yo, what up Jerry, my dawg??
Jerry: Hello, Justin, and welcome to the show.
Justin: It a pleasure to be here, Jerry!
Jerry: Now, Justin, as we understand there have been rumors flying
aroung
that you date--
::Jerry is cut short by Britney Spears running on stage and sitting in
Justin's lap. The audience boos at Britney.::
Britney (in a high squeaky voice): Me! Justy dates me!
Justin (disgusted, pushing Britney off him); Yo, what the f*ck is this?
I
don't date no hoe bags! I neva eva set my hands on dis skank! Yo, she
be
tellin lies, man!
Britney (sternly, hands on hips): Now, now baby. Tell the truth. You
know you
love me!
::Justin picks up a chair and swings it at Britney, she ducks and it
crashes
to the ground, Justin gets up out of his chair ready to fight. The
security
guards come up on stage and hold him back.::
Justin (hollering): Yo, you wanna piece of dis, bitch?
Britney: Of course! I love you!
::Finally, the security guards manage to get Justin to sit in a chair.
Britney keeps batting her eye lashes at Justin.::
Jerry: NOW! Justin is not the only one of whom the rumors of dating
this girl
are flying around about. There is also another man. Nick, come one out!
::Nick prances on stage. He bows, expecting a standing ovation like
Justin
got. Crickets cue in.::
Jerry: Uh...
::Audience is still silent.::
Jerry: Nick talk a seat. Welcome to the show.
Nick: Yes, Jerry thank-you.
Britney: Who the hell is he?
Jerry: Why that is Nickolas Gene Carter.
Britney: But why is he on the show?
Nick: Because there are rumors going around that I date you!
Justin (to Nick): Yo, even a ho like her have gots better taste that to
date
yo ugly-ass!
Britney: Oh, silly Nicky! I though I told you! I don't date you, I just
blow
you--
Nick: Shut-up, bitch!
Jerry: All right! All right! So, there are rumors going around that
Justin
Timberlake dates Britney. But you don't, Justin, right?
Justin: Yo, dat be right.
Jerry: And ther are false rumors going around that Nick dates Britney.
Nick: Right.
Britney: No, Jerry! I BLOW Nick!
::Nick stands up, furious. He picks up a chair and throws it at
Britney,. It
hits her left implants and it pops. Audience breaks out into cheers::
Nick; Shut the hell up bitch! I only paid you one fucking time to blow
me!
You know my heart belongs to Brian! Brian!
:;Audience gasps::
Jerry: Nick, are you a bisexual?
Nick: YES!!!!
Britney: Gee whiz! Guess what, Jerry! I'm a lesbian! I am consntly
thinking
about Monica Lewinsky--
::Britney is cut off by Justin throwing a chair at her. Her other
implant
pops.::
Justin: F*CK YOU!!!
Nick (sobbing): I want Brian! Brian.....!
JErry: We will have a commercial break now and when we get back, the
remaining members of the Bakstreet Boys and *N Sync will come out! Stay
tuned!
::comercial::
Jerry: Hello, and welcome back. Into day's show we have met Britney,
Justin,
and Nick. Nick and Justin both deny the rumors circulation about dating
Britney Spears. Justin firmly denys it, but Nick admitts that Britney
has
given him oral sex once. Also, Nick claims he is a bi-sexual and is in
love
with Brian Littrell from his group. And Britney also claims that she is
a
lesbian that has a crush on Monica Lewinsky.
:;Nick is in his chair still crying like a sissy. Britney is in her
chair,
putting her implants back in. And Justin, well Justin is just there.::
Jerry: Can we please welcome the Backstreet Boys and *N Sync to the
show!
::The audience stands up and cheers, Joey and Chris come out and do
back
flips. JC walks out. LAnce stands in the back like a pussy, Kevin walks
out
cooly. AJ has to puch a bright red Brian Littrell on stage. And Howie
charges
out on stage and knocks Nick chair over as he strattles Nick.::
Howie (screaming): How could you! How could you cheat on me Nick? How?
I
though I meant something to you! But then you go an treat me like shit!
F*ck
you! I am no longer your lover!
::Audience gasps Howie calmy takes his seat as the all expet Nick stare
at
him in astonishment.::
Kevin (to Howie): You f*cked Nick?
Howie: Yes.
JC: What a p*ssy!
Britney: Hello! I thought the show was about me!!!!
Jerry: Uh, yes, Britney it is. You can say something.
Britney: Yeah, all I wanna say is that Lance better pay up.
Lance (nervously): Say what?
Britney: You heard what I said, pansy ass. You better pay up cos you
are my
friggin pimp!
::Audience gasps again.::
Kevin: You f*ck Britney?
Lance (Sobbing): YES!!!!!
Joey: Danielle is not gonna like this!!!
Jerry: Well it just so happens that we have Danielle on the show.
Danielle
come on out!
:;Danielle storms on stage and beats the shit out of her boyfriend. She
pulls
Lance off his chair and throws him to the ground. She strattles him and starts to punch him in the face::
Danielle (schreeching): You mother f*cker! How could you cheat on me??
How??
And with this skank! AHHHH!! Go to hell! I always knew that you were a
fag! Damnit!
::She throws him down once more and then gets up. She storms over to
Britney
ad yanks out her weave. Britney starts to cry. Lance lays on the floor
not
moving. Justin is laughing hysterically about what Danielle did to
Britney.
Nick is still crying because Howie dumped him. Brian is stil embarasses because Nick professed his love to him. Howie rushes over to Lance and
cuddles him.::
Howie (tenderly to Lance); Lance, Lance are you alright, sweetheart?
Lance (groggily); Huh? What?
Joey: Are you gay, Lance?
Lance: Huh?
Howie (furious): Shut up, you son of a bitch!
Joey (getting out of his seat): Make me, asshole!
Howie (leaving Lance and moving towards Joey); Alright, f*cker. Let's
rumble.
JC (coming to Joey's defence): Yo, leave him alone, pansy!
Howie: Make me!
Joey: I will! I pound your little gay ass into the ground!
AJ (stepping inbetween Joey and Howie): Guys cut it out.
::Joey pushes him out of the way. AJ lands on the floor. Howie and Joey pounce on each other. Kevin gets mad at Joey for pushing AJ to the
floor so he picks up a chair and swings it at Joey but misses and hits JC. JC
picks up
a chair and throws it at Kevin. The crowd goes wild.::
Jerry: DAMNIT! Where are those f*cking security guards???
Producer: They went out to lunch, boss.
Jerry: Dammnit!
:: Joey and Howie are now rolling on the floor, hitting each other. JC
and
Kevin are throwing chairs at each other. AJ runs over to help Kevin,
but
Chris pushes him back, and soon the two of them get into a fight.::
Justin (with a huge grin on his face): Whoa, man. Look at those people
go!!!
::Now Britney, Nick, Brian, and Justin are the only ones sitting in
their
seats. Nick suddenly becomes furious at Justin and runs over to where
Justin
is sitting, knocking over his chair. ::
Justin: Yeah, yo, man, why the f*ck you be doin dat?
Nick (picking Justin up by his shit colllar); You! It's you you pansy
ass son
of a bitch! It's you that made me bi sexual!!!
Justin: How do you mean, man?
Nick (growling): I was always every teenyboppers dream. Then your
sunshiney
ass had to come along and hog my place and cut off my flow of girls.
Then I
fell in love with Brian. (Brian blushes and runs off stage,
embarrassed.) But
Howie sould screw sooo good so i gave him a shot! I had no girls! Then
I
picked that ho (points to Britney) off the street corner one night to
give me
a blow. She told me she was an up and coming singer. She sure can
screw. But
I want Brian! And you made me this way! You should DIE, Justin Randell
Timberlake!!!
::Upon hearing Nick utter the words "die" to her Justy, Britney runs
over to
Nick.::
Britney (screaming): Leave my boyfriend the hell alone!
Nick (pushing Britney out of the way): Leave me alone, bitch.
Britney: Now I have had it, mister. No one talks to my boyfriend like
that!!!
::Britney starts to sing::
Britney: My lonliness is killing me...
::Nick instantly drops Justin to the ground. He falls on his knees and
covers
his ears.
Nick (screaming): Stop! Make it stop!
::The members of BSB and *N Sync also fall to the ground and cover
their
ears. So does the audience.::
Britney: Hit me baby one more time!
Nick: STOP!!!
JC: Oh, make her stop!
Kevin: Oh, the pain! The agony!
Howie: Earplugs! I need earplugs!!!
Justin: Bitch, stop singing!!!
::Britney abruptly stops. She runs over to Justin.::
Britney: Justin! Are you alright, sweetheart?
::Justin gets up off the floor and faces Britney, who is about inches
away
from him. Britney puckers her lips, ready for Justin to kiss her. It
races
through Justin's mind whether he should kiss Britney or not, after all,
she
did save his life.::
Justin (after thinking for a moment): Ah.
::Justin walks off stage. Britney starts to cry.::
::The remaning members of BSB and *N Sync stand up. They look around.
And
then make a mad dash off the stage, screaming.::
:;Britney is left standing in the middle of the stage.::
Britney: Um...fun breeze?
::The audience stands up and gives Britney a standing ovation. She
smiles and
curtseys then runs off stage.::
Jerry (relieved): Well, that's it for today's show. And rememeber, you
must
follow your heart and should neber play the person you are dating. And
remember take care of yourself and others. Have a nice day.
::Music in.::
Producer: That's a rap!
Where are they now??? 20 Years later
Howie and Lance: After Howie realizes that Nick was playin him, he got hooked up with Lance. They have been together since.
Chris: Chris moved back to his hometown of Pittsburgh, PA where he now is a garbageman.
JC: JC has persued a solo career and is now married and has 3 kids.
Joey; Joey somehow went crazy after *N Sync broke up. He is in a mental institution in Tampa Bay, FL.
Kevin: After the ladies found out Nick was gay, they all went after Kev. He now is a swinger.
Brian: Brian got over the embarrass ment that he encountered on the Jerry Springer Show. He is now curretly married with once kid. He has his own record company.
AJ: Aj got a hundred more tatoos inked on his skin and 45 more piercings. He now is in the circus.
Nick: Nick is now the chairman for the Gay and Lesbian Foundation of America. He now lives in Idaho.
Britney: Britney quit the music business and only relied on her night job alone (take a guess at what that is). Britney also got married to her cousin Chad. They now have 12 inbred childern, all of which are crazy.
Justin: After *N SYnc split up, Mr. Timberlake settled down with starlette Christina Aguleria. Justin also quit the musin business, dropped the ebonics, and became--a lawyer.
Pretty good huh? I thought she did a great job!