Once upon a time
I knew what I could do tomorrow
how fast I could run,
how productively I could work,
how quickly dinner could be prepared.

Once upon a time
I knew how tightly I could hold you,
how freely I could play,
how I could spend Saturday evening
three weeks from now.

      Once upon a time
I knew or thought I knew
what work I could do,
children I could bear,
special persons I would meet
what I would do in my middle years
  how I would look when I was seventy-five  

And now, A F T E R
after confusion
after diagnosis
after denial
after tests run for whole days and weeks
I only know how I feel right now
what I think right now
what I can do, right now.

Once upon a time has fallen down;
been shattered and

"all the king's horses
and all the king's men"
can't put the old me together again.


~ ~ Joyce Dace-Lombard ~ ~