On the same day as 'eat factory' the store right across from us, a doughnut shop consequently ^_^, had a message in the window. How kind of them 'HAPPY JULY 4TH!!!!!!'. The only flaw in their logic in wishing everyone a happy 4th of July was that it was June 9th. I'm thrilled that they are so happy about the 4th of July but wouldn't it be a little more realistic to have it somewhere near the 4th of July? They made a mockery of the 4th of July that I shall remember forever. . . they lessened the holiday by their negligence and their haughty attitudes.       ALL DOUGHNUT SHOPS ARE ALIKE!!!! THEY THINK THEY CAN JUST PUSH PEOPLE AROUND!!!!! THEY LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY WITH THEIR DOUGHNUTS!!! THE FORBIDDEN, THE TASTY, THE FOUL FOUL DOUGHNUTS!!!! THESE ARE THE REASONS THAT POLICE DEPARTMENTS DON'T COME THROUGH. . . INSTEAD OF DOING THEIR JOBS AND KEEPING CRIMINALS OFF THE STREETS THEY ARE IN A DOUGHNUT SHOP!!!! FILLING THEIR FACES WITH THEIR ADDICTIVE-LY 'SWEET' ELIXIR COFFEE AND THOSE OH SO MALEVOLENT DOUGHNUTS!!! DAMN YOU CORRUPTION!!!!! DAMN YOU TO THE DEEPEST OF THE DEMONHELLS!!!!!!!!!

The Day the Sun Came Back . . .

     This truly demonstrates the power of books. One last summer I was reading the 'Memory, Sorrow and Thorn' series by Tad Williams and I had completed all the books but the last one, which I was reading late one nite. it was around 1ish in the morning. I had about 200 pages left and I was captivated by the story. (200 pages or a little less then half an inch of pages) And I said to myself 'self you can finish reading it. what do you have to wake up for?' so I read. and I read. and I read some more. I finished the book and I laid there, not sleepy at all. and I noticed something a little strange about my reading light. . . THE ENTIRE ROOM WAS FULL OF LIGHT!!!!! THE FREAKIN SUN CAME BACK!!!! the sun had left me awake in america. it went around the world. and the sun came back to me !! in a single waking cycle. . .
     so what is one to do? well I was sorta 'lulled' it was like a spaced caffeine high, but without the caffeine. so I went outside. I put on flip flops and I stood outside on my porch. and I stared skywards at the sun. . . I was like ' . . . ' . . . so I looked out at my front yard. and suddenly I was running. I don't remember telling my legs 'go' but they went anyway and I was just following them. . . I was spaced out and I was seeing stuff as if of a dreamlandish state. the world changed suddenly on me. apparently I fell. . . I didn't even realize that the ground had found me suddenly. I was just rolling on my arms. I scraped my legs up and I landed on my back, but it didn't hurt cause I was rolling on my arms. I was tumbling super fast. and I was like . . . 'crap. . . this is cool'. . . . well the moral of the story is don't let the sun demons into your mind, they make you run and fall down and crap. no good has ever come from running. people who run ALL die. . . 100% of people who run die. . . its a fact. look it up if you don't believe me!

Eat Factory. . . Mike Moragne vs. Bingle and the Chile Fries. . .

Safe to turn off your computer??. . . .I think NOT!!

     okay just because 'the gates' tells you its 'safe' to turn off your computer doesn't mean it actually means anything. he sold you a computer that has 'windows' on it and 'dos' both are the most volatile computer virus know to man, and he got people to BUY these virus. not to use on evil but to 'work with'!!!Well see its like this. . . inside of every computer is a tribe of nuclear powered gnomes. I know this because I hear them breaking things at night. the gnomes like to have bloody battles inside, there are murders and executions, and torture, and mind control. . . just like on the TV or your daily episode of 'Barney' (sometimes its hard to see but its all there you just have to read into it). well the gnomes have great magick powers, the gnomes also have an insatiable lust for blood. . . they are covered in arcane knowledge, some call it 'code' I call it the work of demons if not the devil himself. so in the minds of neanderthals or humans who look and act like neanderthals the only way to rid yourself of the bad magicks is to burn them. in the mind of the neanderthal its like this 'microwave cook food from inside. . . BAD MAGICKS!! barbecue cook food outside with fire. . . good magicks. . . must burn bad magicks with fire. . .' so its only understandable that neanderthals will burn their computers that are inhabited by nuclear powered gnomes. but of course nuclear powered gnomes will explode when burned so we are currently having a neanderthal 'shortage', but i'm not hearing any complaints. . .
      now where does that leave the rest of us. . . the non-neanderthals? well we've got a bit of a problem. . . well this Y2k thing just gets worse and worse doesn't it? I suggest that if you are scared that you need to buy a 'Y2-safe-k shelter' I sell them here at the CORE. just e mail me your credit card numbers and you name and expiration date and ill mail you your 'Y2-safe-k shelter' for the one-time-only flat rate. . . you'll find out how much it is when you get the bill. but look at it this way. the bill will never come because the credit card companies will all be dead!! ITS RISK FREE!!!! THERE IS NO DANGER TO YOU . . . . unless you don't act now. . .  the only danger is your own negligence and stupidity. . . don't die in a neanderthal induced blast! act today!!!! ITS TO SAVE LIVES!!!!!

The Truth behind Bagel Holes!!!!!!

     I FIGURED IT OUT!!!
     See...in my head there are these little nymphs...he he and ...uh...THEY are the ones that send subliminal messages to the president. Then he goes and has a cigar...you know what happens then,....After that....Hillary finds out and beats him with a long metal pole that she found on the side of the parking lot when she visited the zoo as a child.....OH, but then.....so the presidents screams of pain causes bad vibes to go out among the ants. The Ants then carry these little pieces of crackers and stale Oreo's to this one big pile under the Earth. Then they summon up the spirits of evil and laughter....these spirits make such a mess of the crackers and Oreos that
it makes the bubbles in bubble baths to pop all over the country. As a result the children on the bubble baths cry...and the salt from their tears drain into the pipelines and forms rocks in the sewage system. The Rocks of salt dirty up the ninja turtles underground layer,....thus making splinter mad. Splinter meditates so hard that "The Force" is summoned up and thrusted into the heart and soul of every teenager. This overwhelming power causes the teen's face to break out with zits. So, naturally the teenager starts washing their face with special face wash. There are toxic fumes that come from this wash and rise up into the atmosphere. It clouds up the air and seeps into post offices. The toxic fumes slowly eat away at the core of every mailman's brain until he turns and kills every one working there.
     He gets taken to jail and his dog at home is left alone. As he howls at the moon in sorrow for his lost master, the sound waves he makes travels into space and bounces off the satellites. This makes the scientists at NASA think they have found life on another planet, thus causing them to dance with joy over the discovery. The vibrations in the ground travel across the country and gather together in one spot....California. The vibrations all come together at once causing an earthquake. The people move away from the natural disasters and the breath of the moving guys rots away at the black top on the roads. This makes little pebbles and gravel that flies into peoples windshields, causing cracks. The cracks move at such a speed that it causes a sonic boom in Osaka, Japan. The sonic boom moves things around in the little tea rooms and breaks some of the tea cups. This makes the little Japanese men mad (because hey, tea cups don't come
cheap!) So in a fit of rage they throw their chopsticks down onto the ground. The little vibration that the chopsticks make on the ground travel through the Earth and soon became quite a rumble. This rumbling is picked up by loose pipes hanging in English muffin factories. The pipe swings across the ceiling and hits the machine, making it blow a huge ball of dough through the English muffins. This ball of dough has so much velocity that it breaks through the muffin and the floor. THUS MAKING THE HOLE IN THE MIDDLE OF WHAT WE HAVE COME TO KNOW AS... BAGELS!!!!
     At least....that's the way I see it....

[Main Page] [Mission Statement] [Stick Figure Death Theatre] [Anime] [Adamante] [Rage Against The Machine] [Links] [Quotes] [Strategy Guides] [Downloads] [Book List] [Chronicles of Life]