The Tale of Two Amazing Spoons

"Wow, what an enthusiastic audience!  You don't know how lucky a
story-loving kender like me is to find such a great bunch of people who
like stories too," the childlike being grins as he continues.  "Then
again, most of you are kender too, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. 
Anyway, since you're all in the mood to listen to a great kender tale,
then hang around and listen to this one.  It's a tale packed with
romance, action, ghosts, dragons, and even a departed god or too!"

"A GOD??  You never told me this one, Footloose!  When did this happen?"
Another small creature pipes up from nearby.

"Uh, well, it doesn't EXACTLY involve gods... but it DOES involve
godlike magic!  No, Tylden, you definitely know this tale.  I'm about to
tell about the time when we got our respective spoons of amazing power!"

"Oh, THAT tale," Tylden smiles in acknowledgment.  "That's a really good
one!  Ok, go ahead and tell it.  I'll be sure to speak up if you forget
anything.

Footloose smiles at his long-time companion.  "Of course, Tylden.  I
wouldn't have it any other way.  Now, on with the story!"

---

"It all started several years ago.  Tylden and I had just left Hylo to
go out and adventure.  Tylden was getting that Wanderlust rush, and I
figured that it was about time for me to set out as well, so we 'took
our act to the road,' so to speak.  Of course, we had many other
adventures on our way to getting our spoons!"

"Yup!  Like there was the time that we ran into a clan of manically
depressed gully dwarves.  Boy, were they pitiful!  I mean, you don't
know sad until you've seen a gully dwarf down in the dumps..." Tylden
says.

"True, true.  Although I do hear that us kender come pretty close when
WE'RE sad and depressed.  But like I said, that's another adventure, and
therefore, another story.  We'll tell that one next time, Tylden. 
Anyway, one of our trips through Ansalon took us to Palanthas."

"Now THERE was a depressing place!  Why, without cheerful people like
Footloose and me, I'll bet that whole city would have just got up and
joined those gully dwarves!"

"Yes, they were a sad and frightened lot indeed.  But like Tylden said,
we were there to help them out (even though we didn't know it yet).  You
see, since we were in Palanthas, we figured that we should go visit the
Great Library.  My grandfather always told me that a journey was
worthless unless future generations could learn from past mistakes, so
with that in mind, I thought it might be nice to read up on some
people's
journeys to make them worthwhile."

"Plus, who knows what great wisdom the kender sages of the past may have
written down!  Alas, that question remains unanswered," Tylden's face
grows sad as he speaks.  "For we found no tomes of knowledge, no spell
books, no atlases.  We didn't even find a lousy greeting card!"

"What's a greeting card?" Footloose queries.

"Hmm?  Oh, well, it's a piece of hard paper folded in half that has all
sorts of different uses.  People can use them to congratulate each
other, to thank someone, to wish someone a happy birthday, to apologize
to someone, and even to express sympathy.  Some of them even play
music!  So I guess they're not that lousy after all, since they must be
enchanted with some great magic."

"Wow!  You know, with enough cards like that (especially the ones that
express sympathy), I'll bet we could cheer up all of Palanthas!"

"You know, I'll bet you're right!  But unfortunately, there weren't ANY
greeting cards in the library at all..." Tylden says with a newfound,
genuine respect and awe for greeting cards.

"That's right," Footloose says, returning to the original storyline. 
"The library was completely empty!  We figured that was probably the
reason that everyone in Palanthas was so depressed.  That, and maybe
because the place is ruled by an evil dragon.  At any rate, the people
were so depressed about their library being empty that they changed its
whole appearance."

"Yup!  It barely even LOOKED like a library anymore.  Where books once
surely stood were then replaced by flagons of ale and whiskey.  They
even brought in a bartender to serve drink to all the depressed
customers."

"I guess they thought that people could drink their sorrows away.  And I
bet they got a lot of business, considering how sad people must get when
they remember that their library was turned into a bar!"

"They even changed the name of the Great Library to the Peg Leg Tavern
for effect!" Tylden chimes in.

"Yes, these people definitely needed help.  Unfortunately, however, the
bartender didn't seem to care much for our assistance."

"He certainly was a moody fellow!  He gave us all those nice bottles of
whiskey, and then for some reason took them all back, calling us
'cutpurses' and 'thieves.'  Why, if he hadn't kicked us out, I would
have left, I was so insulted!" Tylden says, looking hurt.

"Still, Tylden was not to be put down!  From then on, he vowed that he
would help restore the Great Library to its former glory, and make sure
that kender would always be welcome in its hallowed halls!"

"That's right!" Tylden says, brightening up.  "Some day, the Peg Leg
Tavern will be the Great Library of Palanthas once more!  I am working
on its first and perhaps greatest book: The Great Book of Observations."

"Basically, he writes down interesting observations about the places we
adventured to," Footloose explains. "Of course, no one wants to read a
supposedly INTERESTING book with a DULL opening, so we had to get out of
boring old Palanthas and go some place where he could write a real
whopper of an intro!"

"So while we were enjoying some of the ale that one of the patrons was
kind enough to give us before the bartender kicked us out, we began to
think about all the stories we heard about interesting places to visit."
Tylden says.  "Of course, the first place we wanted to go was the Abyss,
but we figured that would be kind of hard, considering the Dark Queen
had left Krynn along with the rest of the gods."

"Then we thought of going to the last Tower of High Sorcery, but we
realized that we don't have any idea where it is," Footloose remarks. 
"Sure, half the fun is getting there (and if you don't know where
'there' is, then you'll probably have a lot of fun finding it), but we
needed a definite intro, and trying to find that place would just take
too much time."

"Right before we finished the ale, the idea finally hit me: how about
Nightlund!  I heard stories that on the Vingaard River, merchants are
actually attacked by UNDEAD pirates!"

"Well, if you ask me, that's pretty darn interesting.  So, with our
decision made, we finished off the ale and set off to Nightlund,"
Footloose says.  "The trip there was interesting too, but Tylden was
saving the first few pages or so for observations about undead pirates
and what not, so we hurried along without stopping to write any
observations down."

"It WAS an interesting trip, but nothing to introduce the Great Book of
Observations with." Tylden explains.  "Our trip coming BACK from
Nightlund was a real adventure!  We ran into the gully dwarves again,
and by then they were all much happier than they were.  Oh, but that
story won't make sense unless you hear the story about how we charmed
them in the first place, and since that story is different than this
one..." Tylden begins to ramble to himself.

"Ahem.  Anyway, we got to Nightlund.  It's a really big region, but
luckily, most people were more than happy to direct us to the Vingaard
River, saying that we kender should all go socialize with the undead. 
The people of Nightlund were certainly a lot nicer than the people of
Palanthas!"

"Yes, I guess they were." Tylden says, having sorted through the various
stories running through his head.  "But then again, the people of
Nightlund didn't get their library turned into a bar."

"Good point, Tylden!" Footloose remarks.  "But anyway, while we were
heading towards the river, we ran into this guy who called himself Argon
the Wanderer."

"Argon was a really nice person." Tylden says.  "When I told him that I
wanted to go visit the undead, he said he'd come with us!  I'm not
really sure why he joined us all of a sudden, because all he told me was
the he had dealt with the undead before."

"So the three of us set off for the river." Footloose continues. 
"Eventually, we found it.  Instead of waiting around all day to see if a
ship full of undead pirates passed by, though, Argon suggested that we
get transport aboard a merchant ship.  This made sense, since the undead
pirates seem to enjoy attacking merchant ships.  When we managed to find
a merchant ship, though, we realized that we didn't have enough money to
pay for boarding."

"Just when we were about to sneak aboard the ship (in the name of
Research), Argon told us that he would work out a deal with the
captain." Tylden says.

"He said that even though they were used to dealing with the undead, he
wasn't sure if they could handle kender," Footloose says.  "I took this
as a compliment, although I didn't really know what he was talking
about."

"After a long talk with the captain, though, we were finally allowed
onboard."

"After that, we didn't see Argon or the captain much.  We were allowed
to roam the ship freely (although sailors always kept an eye on us to
make sure we didn't fall overboard, I guess), and so sometimes we'd
climb the crow's nest to look out for any passing ships, in case they
happened to have some undead pirates aboard." Footloose says.  "It was
during one of these times in the crow's nest when the storm struck."

"Wow, what a storm!" Tylden exclaims.  "The waves must have reach seven
feet high!  That's pretty impressive, considering this was only a
river!"

"In the confusion, the sailors who normally kept watch over us were
nowhere to be found," Footloose says.  "Since they seemed to care so
much about our safety, we figured it'd be only fair to go look for them
and make sure they were all right."

"A sudden, thick patch of fog rolled in, so we couldn't see past our
hoopaks," Tylden says.  "This being the case, we stuck close to each
other and climbed down from the crow's nest, hoping to run into the
sailors."

"All of the sudden, another kender appeared out of the fog!  He was
unlike any kender I'd ever seen before.  I could've sworn he made the
air around him almost GLOW or something." Footloose says.

"This new kender was waving around a spoon, shouting commands to people
we couldn't see (but I guess he could). 'Ahoy, mateys!  To the
starboard!  Zombies and wraiths be plaguing these waters!  Argh!'" says
Tylden, mimicking the kender in the story.

"Then, he suddenly seemed to notice we were here," Foot loose says.

"'Oh, hi!' he said. 'It's a good thing you two came.  Tylden, what
you're setting out to do is a very brave, noble thing.  Kender
everywhere will be all the better for it (if you ever actually finish
the book).  And Footloose, you're a good man to go along with him.  You
two will turn out to be very important people in the pages of history,
you know,' he said, and I was compelled to believe him.  By then, both
Tylden and I were struck absolutely speechless.  Could this be who we
thought it was?"

Tylden continues.  "'By the way, using observations about the undead is
a REALLY good idea.  Nice way to start the book,' the glowing kender
told me.  'As for the Abyss, trust me, it's NOT all it's cracked up to
be.  It's just big and pink and boring.  Anyway, I need to warn you that
these undead are of the mean variety, and probably won't sit down for
any interviews.  You two need to help save this ship, and later maybe
Argon will help you find some undead that you can actually talk to.'"

"I finally decided to speak up," Footloose says.  "'What can we do to
fight these zombies and wraiths you were talking about?  We're just
kender!' I said.  The other kender smiled and spoke to us one last
time.  'Footloose, if there was one thing I learned during my life, it
was that little people can go a long way.  Kender like you can change
the world!  To help you out, I'm going to give each of you a gift,'
saying that, he rummaged through his pack and brought out two shiny,
silver spoons.  'Tylden, I present to you the Kender Spoon of Magic. 
Its powers are unknown even to me, but I'm sure that it'll come in handy
for you.  Footloose, I present to you the Kender Spoon of Luck.  All you
two need are your kender instincts and the occasional bit of luck and
magic, and before you know it, that book will be filled to the brim. 
May all your voyages be interesting, and may all your tales be even
better.'  After saying that, the kender turned around and began walking
off into the fog.  He began mumbling to himself.  'Wow, wait til Flint
hears about this one!  He would have hated going on a boat again...' And
then he was gone."

"I turned to Footloose and saw the same amazed, awed look on his face
that I knew must be on mine." Tylden says.

"We looked down at our spoons, then back at each other, and we knew,"
Footloose says reverently.  "We had just been visited by Uncle Tas.

"Before we had time to talk about this miracle, however, a big, ugly
zombie suddenly appeared in front of us!" Tylden says.

"Immediately, we knew this was our first test as kender.  We couldn't
let Uncle Tas down!" Footloose says.  "So we I waved my spoon of amazing
power at the mean undead guy and said 'Prepare to be sent back to the
Abyss!  Or somewhere else, I guess, since it isn't around anymore...'"

"And I thrust my spoon in front of it and shouted 'Face the power of
Kender Magic!'" Tylden says.

"Right then, out of nowhere, Argon dropped right between us and the
zombie!" Footloose exclaims.  "Surely a result of my Kender Spoon of
Luck.  Then he started to chant and move his hands around, and the
zombie was picked up by a gust of wind and thrown overboard!  Tylden's
spoon actually allowed Argon to cast a spell!"

"Soon after that, the fog cleared, and the undead menace ceased," Tylden
says.  "When we told Argon about how our spoons of amazing power let him
get rid of the zombie, he smiled and thanked us for our help.  He said
that we helped save the merchant ship.  We were heroes!"

"Still, he said that the captain was a little upset at us," Footloose
remarks. "Something about some missing silverware from his table.  Argon
assured us that he didn't believe we took anything, but that we should
probably leave as soon as possible to avoid any further trouble. 
Personally, I think that those two sailors who disappeared during the
storm must have taken them when the captain was busy being attacked by
the undead, but I appreciated the fact that they looked after us over
the voyage, so I didn't say anything."

"When I told Argon that I still wanted to be able to talk to some
undead, he said that we were in luck, because we was heading to a small
TOWN where undead lived (or existed, I guess, since "lived" doesn't
really apply)!" Tylden says, "So at the very next opportunity, we all
left the ship and headed for the town.  Along the way, I managed filled
the first three pages of my book.  Not the intro I had expected to get,
but since we saw Uncle Tas, it was even better."

"Definitely!" Footloose nods.  "And that's how we got our spoons of
amazing power.  Great story, don't you think?"

"Oh, but the story doesn't end there!" Tylden says, having a hard time
releasing the role of storyteller.  "We need to tell them about the town
full of the undead!  Oh, and we can't forget to tell them about how we
charmed the gully dwarves... and then there's that troop of draconians
we faced..."

"Those are all great stories, Tylden, but we need to give another person
a chance to tell a tale!"  Footloose tells a by-now downhearted Tylden. 
"But don't worry.  We've got plenty more tales to tell.  After all, I
know these people are DYING to hear what it's like staying in a town
full of undead..."