Pickup lines

Excuse me, is that a space suit you're wearing, because your ass is out of this world.

Do you believe in love at first sight?...Or do I have to walk by again

Do you sleep on your stomach?...no?....Can I ?

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz I can easily see myself in your pants.

Tomorrow morning, do you want me to call you or nudge you?

Your parents must be baker's cuz they sure put out a great set of buns.

Your parents must be thieves' cuz someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Do you have a quarter? Cuz I promised I would call my mother as soon as I fell in love.

Do you have some Australian in you? Would you like a little Italian in you?

Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?

Would you like to go home for a pizza and some sex?....*slap*...What??? You don't like pizza?

Your legs must be tired cuz you've been running through my mind all night.

That shirt is very becoming on you, of course if I were that shirt I would be cumming on you too.

If I told you I liked your body would you hold it against me?

Pez?

I heard milk was good for your body, but damn-you must drink gallons at a time.

Hi, my name is Jacques. Don't forget, because you'll be screaming it later tonight.

Excuse me, but could you give me directions? To where? Your heart...

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?

Come over here and sit on my lap-we can talk about the first thing that pops up.

Excuse me, [name], is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?

The voices in my head say you should go out with me....

Hey, is it hot in here, or is it just you.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you and I together.

(Gesture for person to come over) I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with the rest of my body.

Person A: I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Person B: No Person A: Well then, please start.

If I follow you home, will you keep me?

Have you ever been licked until tears rolled from your eyes?

Pardon me, but may I attempt to seduce you?

Lick finger, and rub it on the clothing of the person, then rub it on yours. Just a light touch will do. "So, what do you say we get out of these wet clothes..."

(hold up first two fingers on one hand) Know why you should use these two fingers to masturbate? No, why? Because they're mine.

A:*walks up to B and gently pulls up their collar and looks at the tag in their shirt ..... a humph and long pause, then A walks away B: What the hell? What was that? etc... A: Oh... I was just checking to see if it said "Made in Heaven."

I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?

A: Did it hurt? B: What ?!?!?!?!? A: When you fell from the sky as an angel.

"How do you like your eggs in the morning - boiled, scrambled or fertilised?"

"That dress would look great on my bedroom floor." (On rejection...) "Don't be so choosy. God knows, I wasn't"

"I'm not above begging."

"How much do you cost?"

Him: "If I said I'd pay you a million pounds, would you sleep with me?" Her: "Well, yes, I think I would." Him: "What if I said I'd pay you five pounds to sleep with me?"Her: "What do you think I am, a prostitute?" Him: "We've already established that, now we're just negotiating."

I like every bone in your body, especially mine.

I hope we're too busy fucking to sleep together.

Aren't you a model?

Care to dance with a gun toting loner?

I'm sure I've got a tattoo of your name on me somewhere....

You know, I'm not married to my cousin yet....

Your eyes are the same colour as my shell suit.

Didn't we drop out of school together?

Can my dad buy you a drink?

I'm not just a Jehovah's witness. I also sell insurance.

Does this stain smell like mayonnaise to you?

That's a roll of fifties in my pocket and I am pleased to see you.

I didn't know you could also get wool from them....

Wanna shake hands with the Loch Ness Monster?

What a coincidence! You want to be an actress and I have a video camera!

Ever played tonsil hockey?

You're too sweet and innocent. Here, let me help you get rid of some of  it.

You're so hot my eyes are burning.

I heard that opposites attract. You're a winner and I'm a loser, so why  don't we get together?

I'd crawl on my hands and knees over broken glass to here you fart through a walkie-talkie.

Didn't you pose for playboy?

Hey! I'm an endurance athlete.

Would you like a gin and platonic or would you rather have a scotch and  sofa?

When asked for a match...How about the hair on my head and the hair  between your legs?

I'd give you a piece of my mind but I have more of something else.

Sex is a killer. Wanna die happy?

Hi! I earn more than you can spend.

Hey, I may not be Fred Flinstone but I could make your bed rock.

Hi, I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

You know what I like about you? My arms.

With one touch I could make you make sounds only a dog could hear.

If I gave you a negligee for your birthday, would there be anything in it  for me?

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

Nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

Who's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

Would you be my love buffet?  So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?

Wanna Fuck?  "No!"  ell, would you lie down while I have one?

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

The word of the day is "legs."  Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

All those curves, and me with no brakes.

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?

I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.

Can I dance with you? "No!" Well, I suppose a fuck is out of the question then?

Not all girls with facial hair have as much self-confidence as you.

What's a dumpy girl like you doing in a place like this?

Grab his/her tush. Pardon me, is this seat taken?

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Can I have directions?  "To where?" To your heart.

Do you know what'd look good on you?  Me.

What do you want for breakfast?

I think you're the most girl I've ever seen.......On a Wednesday!

You've got the whitest teeth I've ever wanted to cum over.

Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.

Do you have a boyfriend? Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to  me.

Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognise you with your clothes on.

Hey baby, how about we go back to my place and you can check out my hardware, while I check out your software.

Nice software, wana see my hardware?

You've got nice breasts, but what colour are you nipples? Brown or pink?

I am conducting a test on how many women have pierced nipples.

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tacs?

Gee, you don't sweat much for a fat chick.

If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

I'm short of cash, would you mind if we shared a taxi home?

Excuse me, do you live around here often?

Hi! The voices in my head told me to come and talk to you.

Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me? I thought you knew!

Stand back, I'm a doctor. You get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes!

You know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly colour co-ordinated.

Do you sleep on your front? Do you mind if I do?

Do you want to go halves on a bastard?

How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilised or unfertilised?

We shouldn't waste things. Let's use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.

Anything drugs can do I can do with my tongue.

Either way I'm going to have you tonight, so you may as well be there.

Biologists.....

"Would you like me to help you with your reproduction practicals?"

"Would you like to study organisms with me?"

Microbiologists.....

"Oo, you look dishy": "You have no culture" if they're not impressed

Astronauts.....

"Let's initiate a docking manoeuvre."

"My pants are approaching escape velocity!"

"Would you help me de-ice my nosecone?"

"Wanna join the thousand-mile-high club?"

"Care to experience some thrust?"

"Prepare for re-entry!"

Mathematicians.....

"Hello strange attractor!"

"You know what they say about a man's calculator..."

"Hey baby, what's your sine?"

Astrophysicists.....

"Excuse me but I feel strangely gravitated towards you."

Chemists...

"Come on baby, light my bunsen burner!"

Computer Scientists...

"I make excellent use of my hard drive."

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