Chp 20
AJ lied in his bed staring blankly at the ceiling. Everyone had just left. He refused to talk to anyone. He lost himself in thought. He was distant and elsewhere. Maybe it was for the best. They wouldn't want to know what was going through his mind. The same scene repeated in his head over and over again. Making him feel inferior, angry, dejected, and guilty. Torturing him. He slowly drifted into a deep and disturbing slumber.
AJ stood in the corner of an unknown room, no windows, the walls a deep crimson. He had his back to him. He was silent, but he felt his presence. AJ heard his footfalls become louder as he approached him. Within moments, he felt his burning glare on him. Slowly, AJ turned around and came face to face with a man he knew.
"What are you doing here?" AJ asked him.
"I loved her. You took her away from me," the man accused.
"No! It's not true! Maybe I tried, but it didn't work! She loved you!"
"I know the truth. You will pay."
"Go to hell!" AJ yelled as he spun to face the corner again. His fingers settled on his hip. He felt the cold metal against his skin. Power and sin surged throughout his body.
"I'll see you there!"
AJ whipped around and aimed the gun at him.
"Fuck you! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" He fired the gun over and over again. Bullet after bullet sliced the air like a knife. He watched as Nathan's body dropped to the floor. AJ smiled wickedly and held the weapon at his side. "You like that?"
Nathan weakly raised his head and stared at him, anguish and sorrow evident on his face as the blood oozed out of the corners of his mouth and dribbled down his chin. AJ unexpectedly felt regret but wouldn't let it show.
"You deserved it, asshole."
All of a sudden, Nathan's features melted away to reveal another face. AJ's evil grin faded from his face and his eyes widened in horror. Howie stared back at him, the unshed tears glistening in his saddened eyes and the blood continuously flowing out of every wound.
"Why?" he whispered hoarsely.
AJ let the gun fall from his grasp and he shook his head in denial. "NoNO! Nathan! You were---I didn't mean to! I thought you were---"
"I thought you were my friend"
"No! You weren't---this wasn't supposed to happen!"
"You killed me" were the last words to be spoken out of his lips before his accusing eyes closed never to be opened again.
AJ stared at his dead body in shock. He brought his hands up to his face trembling in terror. They were covered in blood, his blood. AJ dropped to his knees and looked up at the sky.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
AJ violently jerked himself awake and sat up on his bed with perspiration coating his body and his heart beating so rapidly it would surely be off the charts. Nausea and dizziness possessed him. He struggled to get out of bed and clinging to the walls, he slowly made his way to the bathroom.
Denise couldn't sleep. She had been lying there awake for the last couple of hours just thinking about everything that was happening. She couldn't understand why he had become like this, therefore she didn't know how to help him. It was so frustrating. She felt so helpless. Suddenly, she sensed something was wrong. She knew to trust her maternal instincts. She jumped out of bed, put a robe on, and cautiously proceeded to his bedroom.
"AJ?"
No answer.
She entered the dark room and saw that he wasn't there. She began to grow fearful. Then she heard a shuffling noise come from his bathroom. She made her way over to it and switched on the lights. "AJ?"
He was leaning over the toilet panting and wheezing. She bent down to his level and rubbed his back soothingly as he threw up again.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he muttered as he wiped his mouth and fell back to lean against the bathtub squeezing his eyes shut. His face was bloodless and pasty and expressed great anguish and misery. "Oh God," he breathed heavily. "I feel so bad. I just want to die."
"Don't say that."
"Please" he sobbed. Denise embraced him and cried with him.
"AJ, I don't know what to do! I don't know" she wept, the tears streaming down her face. She felt him go limp in her arms. He had passed out. She rocked him back and forth sobbing. "Please get better please" she silently begged him. "Please"
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AJ had been getting worse and worse as the days passed. His temperature would fluctuate every couple of days. He'd go from having a 105. 5 degree fever to 91.8, dangerously low. He'd slip in and out of consciousness.
Denise sat by him day after day watching over him and singing to him softly to get him to sleep. But not even sleep could bring him peace.
"Nono," he mumbled not completely asleep or awake, but some place in between. "Noit's nottrue" He tossed his head from side to side deliriously. Denise took a damp cloth and gently dabbed his forehead. "No" he groaned.
"Shhhhh," she comforted quietly taking his hand. It was cold as ice although he was burning up. He was seriously ill. They did call doctors to check him out, but it was hopeless. They couldn't diagnose the sickness. They could only guess. A very bad case of pneumonia possibly. But everyone else knew it wasn't pneumonia. AJ's deep depression was taking its toll on his body. He made himself so weak. No amount of medicine could help him. He was the only one could heal himself and if he didn't do it soon
Denise didn't even want to think about what could happen. What would she do without him? How could she go on? Alexander James McLean~1978-2004 No. That wasn't going to happen. She pushed those ideas out of her head and looked at him. He had finally fallen asleep.
The phone unexpectedly rang and interrupted her thoughts. She quickly jogged over to her room and picked up the phone before it woke him up.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Denise. It's Elena."
"Oh, hello, Elena. How are you?"
"I'm alright. How's he doing? Is there any change?"
Denise sighed. "No, no change. He's just been getting worse and worse."
Elena's heart sank to the pit of her stomach. "Oh God, how are you holding up? You sound tired."
"I am. I haven't slept for over a week."
"You have to rest, Denise, or else you'll get sick, too."
"I could only hope."
"Oh no, don't you go starting that, too!"
"I'm sorry, but" She began to cry. "I go in every night to make sure he's still alive. I'm afraid that one morning, I'll walk in and find him---He's slipping away, Elena. He's slowly slipping away from me. I-I-I'm afraid I'm going to lose him."
"No, Denise, he's going to be ok," Elena reassured her trying to keep her voice leveled and wiping away her own tears. "It's just going to take time."
"Oh God, why is this happening? He doesn't deserve to suffer so much. If only I could, I would take his place in a heartbeat."
"Denise, we all wish we could help him. But he has to help himself first. All we can do is pray and hope for the best."
"How much longer will it take? I don't think he can go on for much longer. I don't think I can go on."
"Just hang in there, Denise."
"I'm trying," she sobbed. "I'm trying so hard. Oh God, if I lose him"
"You won't! He will get through this!"
"I wish I could believe you, Elena."
'I wish I could believe me, too' she thought sadly as a single tear splashed onto a picture of them she held close to her heart.
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AJ slowly walked down the aisle towards the casket where his friend was laid to rest. Bouquets, flower fans, and wreathes surrounded it. As he approached the glossy wooden coffin, he felt his pulse quicken. When he could go no further, he went down on his knees and said a prayer. He stared sadly at the person before him. He looked so peaceful. His hands rested on his stomach with a honey-colored rosary carefully wrapped around them. If it wasn't for the coldness that emanated from his body and the absence of breath, many would think he was just sleeping. They were alone. There was no one else in the church but those two. The silence was deafening.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I hope one day you can forgive me."
Of course there was no response.
"It wasn't supposed to happen this way. It should've been me."
Realizing that he was wasting his time begging for forgiveness he wasn't going to receive, he prayed one more time, said a final good-bye, and stood up to leave. He was half way down the aisle when he heard someone call his name.
"AAAAJJJJ" hissed a quiet voice.
AJ looked around him. Who was calling him? He was the only one there except for
"AAAAJJJJJJ" the mysterious voice continued to wail.
"W-who are you? Where are you?" he asked spinning around and jerking his head in all direction trying to calculate where it was coming from. It seemed to be coming from both nowhere and everywhere.
"AAAAJJJJJ"
"Where are you?! Answer me dammit! Who are you?!"
"You know who I am"
"No I don't! Who the hell are you?! Leave me alone!"
AJ was only a short distance from the exit, but he couldn't leave. Something was making him stay.
"You killed me"
AJ began to shake and breathe heavily. "What?!"
"You killed me"
"No! I don't even know who you are!"
"I'm the friend you let down years ago"
"No!" His eyes focused themselves on the coffin. He was mysteriously drawn to it. Cautiously, he walked towards it. "No, it can't be!" He stood right above him and looked down.
"It was your fault" the voice accused.
"No! It's not you!"
His lips weren't moving. Where was it coming from?
"You're dead! It can't be you! You're dead!"
"It was your fault"
"No!"
Suddenly, his eyes snapped opened. AJ gasped and his eyes widened in fear and shock as his arm shot up and took a strong hold of his throat. He began to crush it. AJ gagged and struggled to break himself free of the deadly grip. But it was too strong. His accusing eyes burned into his.
"It was your faultit was all your fault"
"No please" he managed to choke out as his oxygen supply was cut off. He felt lightheaded and the room began to dim.
"You will die you deserve to die"
"I'm sorry pleaseI'm sorry" His grip tightened around his throat and he felt AJ's windpipe cave in. It was all over now.
"It was all your fault"
Everything turned black
A flash of lightning and a crash of thunder woke him up. There was one hell of a storm outside. Once again, disturbing dreams plagued his mind. He couldn't go on like this. It was driving him insane. He knew what he had to do.
Denise knew something was happening. She felt it. She quickly put on a robe and hurried to his room, praying that she was overreacting. "AJ?"
No answer.
She turned on the lights and saw that he wasn't there. She looked in the bathroom. It was empty. "Oh God." She ran down the hallway checking every room on the upper level. No sign of him. She flew down the stairs calling his name and froze in her tracks as she witnessed the wide opened front door flapping against the side of the house due to the violent gusts of wind.
"Oh no!" She ran out the door and looked around. It was pouring and the blasts of wind and rain shook the trees. "AJ?!" It was pitch black out there except for when the flashes of lightning illuminated the skies. The howling of the gale and the booms of the thunder pierced the silence of night. There was no way he could've made it far. She rushed back into the house and dialed a number on the phone.
The shrill ringing of the phone quickly awakened Kevin. He glanced at the clock. It was 2 AM. Remembering the last call he had received in the middle of the night, he began to fear the worst. "Hello?!" he asked panicking.
Denise frantically cried and talked a mile a minute. Kevin couldn't understand her.
"What?! Denise, you have to slow down! I can't understand you! What happened to AJ?!"
She took a deep breath and yelled, "HE'S GONE!"
Chp 21
Chp 19
