Chp 27
As Nathan drove away with Elena trapped in the passenger's seat, she looked back just in time to watch the building explode. Tears sprung to her eyes and she diverted her gaze quickly. The images of AJ lying helplessly on the floor bleeding and suffocating to death replayed in her mind mercilessly. He was dead. And the monster sitting right beside her was the one who killed him. In one instance of blinding rage, she slapped Nathan hard across the face and started wresting him for control of the wheel.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU KILLED HIM, YOU BASTRARD!!!" she screamed while thrashing about aggressively trying to fight her way free of Nathan's tight hold on her arm.
"ARE YOU CRAZY?!!! YOU WANT TO GET US KILLED?!!!" he shouted, sharply swerving away from a tree they were about to collide with.
That was exactly what she wanted. She wanted to send him to Hell and be reunited with the two men she loved most in the world. "I HATE YOU SO GODDAMN MUCH!!! I WISH YOU'D DIE!!!" 'I wish I'd die' she thought ruefully to herself.
"Don't make me beat your mouth shut!" he threatened shaking her violently.
"GO AHEAD! I DON'T CARE! YOU TOOK AWAY THE ONE THING THAT MATTERED MOST IN MY LIFE! I DON'T CARE WHETHER I LIVE OR DIE! I'm already dead," she sobbed bringing her hands up to her face and bawling. Nathan looked over at her hunched over in despair. He almost felt sorry for her. Almost. He kept reminding himself of what she did to him. His actions were justified.
"I'm asking you once againbe with me or perish."
She looked up at him with hatred in her eyes. What's the difference? But this was her last chance at freedom. This was the only thing she could do. "Nathan?" she croaked out softly.
"Yes?"
"I think I want to"
He brought his face closer to hers anticipating her response which he was sure was in his favor. "Yes, my love?"
She took a deep breath and exhaled. "This" The distance between their lips grew shorter making it look like she was going to kiss him. She wanted him to think that. Instead, she pulled her balled fist back and punched him square in the nose. "ASSHOLE!!!" While he recoiled in pain, Elena seized the opportunity to unlock her door and make a break for it. She jumped out from the moving car and rolled down the street for a few feet before crawling to the sidewalk, mustering all the limited strength she had, and breaking into a run. She didn't know where she was going, but she had to get away.
"ELENA!!!"
She heard him screaming out her name. She looked frantically in all directions trying to figure out where to go. Up ahead was a wooded area. Somewhere he couldn't follow in his car. She decided to take her chances and sprinted through the trees and foliage.
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AJ tiredly staggered down the abandoned streets. His wounded leg was beginning to feel numb. He was never going to make it on foot. With dizziness overcoming him, he leaned on a building for support. "God help me," he panted trying to quell the urge to pass out. How the hell was he going to do this? He was just about ready to collapse and give up when something caught his eye across the street. A blue minivan was parked there. The keys glimmered on the dashboard. He didn't remember it being there before. Of course, he wasn't in his sharpest state of mind. Or it could have been Howie helping him again. A smirk crept onto his face and he slowly trudged his way towards the vehicle.
He wasn't surprised to find that it was unlocked. Once inside, he took a deep breath, gave a silent thanks, and sped blindly down the roads. 'How the hell am I going to find her?!'
Don't think. Just follow your instincts.
"Huh?" Someone was talking to him, but not out loud. He was receiving telepathic messages from both no where and everywhere. He knew who the voice belonged to.
Don't ask questions. Just do it.
AJ shrugged. "Don't have to tell me twice." He turned left and pushed the van to go as fast as it could. He narrowed his eyes, the determination burning within them. "The little fucker's gonna pay," he hissed vindictively.
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Elena ran through the woods dodging tree branches and jumping over anything in her way. She looked back periodically to see how close he was.
"ELENA!!! YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY FROM ME!!!"
She could hear him although she could not see him. She could tell he was gaining ground. Anger and vengeance fueled him. She had nothing to guide her. All she could feel was sorrow and emptiness. Why was she running? There was no point in living anymore. She guessed it was just the human will to do whatever it took to survive. But her will became less and less as she fled father into the forest. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she did not notice the tree root protruding from the earth. Before she knew it, her foot got caught in it and she went sprawling onto the cold wet ground. She crawled up against a tree and just sat there with her knees brought up to her chest and whimpered. She was tired of running.
Nathan finally caught up with her and jumped through the bushes. He saw her curled up against the tree trunk sniveling and crying helplessly. Any ounce of regret or sympathy he had soon faded away. He had only one thing in his mind. "Ok, no more games. I'm giving you one last chance. Elena be with me."
She looked up at him with cold eyes and answered hoarsely, "I'd rather die."
"Suit it yourself," he spat aiming the gun at her head and slightly squeezing the trigger. "Such a shame. We could've been together, Elena. We could've been happy. Oh well. Say hello to AJ for me."
She closed her eyes and prayed, bracing herself for the shot that would finally end her misery. Out of nowhere, she thought she heard a humming noise. Then, the ground beneath her began to tremble. Nathan hesitated to pull the trigger noticing the disturbance. All of a sudden, a huge blue vehicle burst though the bushes and hit Nathan straight on. He flew into the air, slammed against a tree, and then landed face first into a pile of deer shit. He lay there motionless.
Elena was too stunned to move. AJ honked the horn and stuck his head out the window.
"What the hell are you doing?! Get your ass in here!"
Elena immediately shook off the initial shock and bounded towards the van. She pulled open the door and jumped inside. "Oh my God! You're alive!" she cried hugging him tightly never wanting to let go. The tears of happiness streamed down her face. "Oh God, I thought I lost you forever! B-b-but, how?! I saw the building explode!"
"No time to explain! We gotta get out of here NOW!" He stomped down on the pedal and flew through the woodlands.
Elena continued to look over at him. She still could not believe that he was actually there. She couldn't begin to express her joy. She brought her hand up to his face to make sure he wasn't just some cruel illusion and that he was really there. "AJ, you can't imagine---"
"I'm pretty sure I can. I felt the same way," he interrupted her knowing exactly what she was going to say. She gave him a weak smile and let her hand fall. It fell right into something wet and sticky. She looked down at her hand and almost fainted. "OH MY GOD!!! YOU'RE BLEEDING ALL OVER THE CAR!!!"
AJ glanced at her incredulously. "Well, I'm sorry, please forgive me. I couldn't find a bucket to bleed into!" he replied sarcastically.
"Let me see!"
"I'll show you my beautiful bullet holes later, ok?!" He winced and then groaned. "I'm gonna hurl."
"Are you ok?!"
"No"
She noticed how deathly pale he was and how the beads of perspiration slid down his brow furrowed in pain. "Let me drive!"
"Ok," he sighed stopping the car. She slipped into the driver's seat and helped him get into the passenger side. She could feel the blood he left there soak through her clothes and cringed, but that was the least of her problems. He looked like he was about to die. She immediately began zooming down the streets.
"Ok, just keep talking to me. Everything will be fine," she comforted him and herself.
"Yeahright"
"AJ, why didn't you tell me sooner! Maybe this would've never happened if you had been more opened with me!"
"Sorry"
"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner. I shouldn't be blaming this on you. It was my fault. I don't know why it took me so long to see it. How could I have been so blind? So stupid? So cruel? God, what I must have put you through! And then getting engaged to Nathan! That must have just driven you over the edge! I am SO sorry! I wish I could turn back time and fix things! Everything would be so different! My life and yours would've have been so much better! We could have been happy! Can you ever forgive me?" An answer didn't follow. "AJ?" She turned her head to look at him. His head was lying against the seat. His eyes were closed. He wasn't moving. "AJ?" When he didn't respond, she began to panic and shook him. "AJ?!!!"
His eyes flew open. "I'm awake! I'm awake" he muttered.
She breathed a sigh of relief and clutched her heart. "Don't scare me like that!"
"It hurts to breathe"
"Painful or not, just keep doing it! We're almost at the hospital!"
"I'm really cold" His voice died down to a weak whisper. He lied back and closed his eyes again. "I don't know if"
"NO! Don't you DARE die on me! I've been bereaved one too many times! I won't be able to handle losing you, too! I swear, AJ, if you die, I will make your after life a friggin' living hell, you hear me?! I will dig you up from your grave and smash your bones! Not even heaven will save you from where I'll send you!"
AJ laughed feebly and then clutched his side in pain. "Don't make me laugh, it hurts."
"That's good!"
"How is me being in pain good?!"
"Well, if you feel pain, you know, or more importantly I know you're alive!"
"I can't feel my leg, I don't think that's good."
"Don't worry, we're almost there!"
"Didn't you say that like five hours ago?"
"This time I mean it!"
Suddenly, he started shaking, everything around him got blurry. "Oh God," he wheezed, the air couldn't seem to get to his lungs fast enough. Elena panicked again.
"Oh my God! Don't die! Please!"
He took a deep breath. "Don'tworry I'm not going to die"
"You aren't doing a very good job of convincing me!"
"I won't die been there, done that oh shit my body just went numb"
"AJ," she whimpered, the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. He tiredly turned his head towards her and slowly brought his hand up to her cheek.
"D-don't cry I-I-I'm not going anywhere y-you know how g-goofy the band would look with only th-th-three guys?"
"It's not the band I'm concerned about," she whispered.
"I know" he sighed closing his eyes. His hand slid down her cheek and landed limply at his side. "I"
"I love you, AJ," she breathed and looked at him. He didn't hear her. He rested motionlessly against the door. He was out. "Oh shit!" She zoomed down the streets, narrowly avoiding crashing into other cars and ran right through the red lights. She swerved left and right and nearly crashed into another tree. But it didn't matter. She was not going to lose him again. Upon hitting a bump, they both jumped out of their seats and his head flew into the dashboard with a loud thump. "Oh my God! I am SO sorry!" she shrieked pushing him back to an upright position. 'Good thing he's unconscious. But he'll be feeling it later.' "If there is a later" 'Stop it, Elena!' she scolded herself for thinking such a horrible and inconceivable thought. They were only blocks away from the emergency entrance. "We're almost here, just hang on a little longer," she said softly, taking his unmoving hand into her own. He was cold to the touch. It sent shivers down her spine and pain to her heart. "Not again"
Going as far as she could with the enormous vehicle, she leaped out of the van and dashed through the opened doors of the emergency room screaming frantically at the top of her lungs.
"HELP ME PLEASE!!! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!" A young doctor ran to her aid and held her by her arms.
"What's wrong, miss?" he calmly asked the hysterical woman.
"M-m-my friend! He got shot twice and he's losing a lot of blood and he's unconscious! You have to help him!"
"We will! We will! Where is he?!"
"H-he's outside! Come on! I'll take you to him!" The doctor motioned for some paramedics with a stretcher to follow them out.
"What's your friend's name?"
"AJ! Alex! Alexander James McLean!"
The doctor's eyes widened as he saw the victim for the first time. The look of recognition spread all across his features. "Oh my God!" He shook his head to clear his thoughts. After all, famous or not, he was like every other person. Most importantly, he was like every other person who needed to get into the OR fast.
Crying, Elena watched as the paramedics gently pulled him out of the van and lied him down on the gurney, while Dr. Roberts, as she learned was his name, barked out orders. As they rushed him down the halls, she was running right by his side holding his hand. She felt him weakly squeeze hers in response. "It's going to be ok," she whispered, positive that he could somehow hear her. "I'll be here waiting" It took all her strength and willpower to force herself to let go of him. A loud sob escaped her throat as they disappeared behind the big white double doors. She needed a little time to collect herself before calling the others. Hesitantly, she trudged into the nearest waiting room and collapsed onto a chair before her buckling knees gave out on her. Not even attempting to hold back tears, she clasped her hands together and squeezed her eyes shut. All she could do now was pray.
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"We're dropping like flies," Nick quietly lamented to Brian as they waited for any news concerning their friend, band mate, and brother.
"Nick," Brian scolded, displaying disapproval for thinking so negatively. "He's been through worse and all those times, he's made it through. This time isn't any different."
"I know. I wasn't implying that---" He couldn't bring himself to say the words. "I was just saying."
Kevin, as always, fought hard to keep himself in control as he comforted both Denise and Elena. Staci was also there, doing all she could to ease her best friend's anguish.
"Not again Oh God, not again" Elena sobbed, her face buried in Kevin's shoulder.
"It's ok, Eelie, it's ok," Staci tried soothing her, removing the plastered sweat and tear soaked hair from her face. "He's going to be alright." Her words of comfort fell upon deaf ears.
"What the hell did he do to deserve all this?! What?!" Denise questioned angrily as the salty droplets cascaded down her cheeks.
"Nothing absolutely nothing," Kevin answered softly, finding himself pondering the same thing. How many more times would he have to see his best friends suffer? He was expected to be the strong one, the stone, and he carried out his responsibility perfectly. But only superficially. If only they looked deeper into his saddened jade-colored eyes, they'd see the truth beneath his seemingly resolute exterior. They'd know that everything they've all been through affected him the same or even more so than the others. He had to live with the burden. The burden of keeping everything inside and remaining strong for everyone else when all he really wanted to do was break down and cry.
"Miss DiLorenzo? Mrs. McLean?"
Everyone rose out of their seats at the voice of Dr. Roberts. "I'm sure you're all very anxious to hear about Alex's progress. Please sit down."
"Why?" Kevin asked apprehensively.
"No need to get alarmed. He's in stable condition, although not yet conscious. The bullets have been removed and we managed to close up the severed artery and stop the bleeding. He'll have to be kept here for several more weeks just to make sure everything's as it should be, which I am positive it is."
"When is he going to wake up?"
"When ever he wants. We gave him some medication for the pain so don't be surprised if he seems a little out of it when he's awake."
"He doesn't need drugs to be out of it. He's just naturally weird," Brian joked relieved to hear that everything would turn out just as he had prayed it would.
"Can I see him?" Denise inquired anxiously.
"Of course. But only two at a time please."
"I'll go with you, Denise," offered Kevin, "unless Elena wants to---"
"No, you go ahead, Kev. I-I-I need time to think."
"Ok." She hugged them both and then silently watched as they proceeded to his room. She felt a pair of strong arms hug her from behind.
"You ok?" Nick asked her, his voice ringing with concern.
She sighed and then turned to face him, craning her neck upward to meet his piercing gaze. "Yeahbut I was so scared."
"We all were."
"Not just that. This---the whole thing with Nathan. You can't even imagine. He wanted to rape me. He almost killed him. He wanted to kill me. At one point, I didn't even care anymore. It was like the will to live was sucked out of me. The moment that building blew up and I thought he was dead, that's when I just gave up. I didn't want to go on without him. He saved me from being raped, he saved me from getting killed, and it almost cost him his life. He put his life on the line for me and" Her voice cracked with emotion. "I couldn't even save him."
Nick tightened his embrace around her and she buried her face in his chest. "There was nothing you could do. Besides, he's going to be fine. Miraculously, you both came out of that dire situation alive."
"I don't know how we ever managed that. It was so surreal."
"I do. I believe it was an ethereal signyou two were meant to be together. You both could've died or you both could've lived, but either way, you'd still be together. But you lived. That has to mean something."
"I know what it means."
"So tell him. Once and for all, tell him the truth."
She looked up and met his bright blue eyes with her own tear-brimmed ones. "I don't think I can," she choked out.
"You have to."
"Nick"
"If you don't do it now, you might never get another chance to and then you'd be living the rest of your life in emptiness and loneliness. You might have a thousand people around you, but you'd still be alone. You wouldn't even be really living, justexisting. Elena, you have no idea how much he has suffered the past few years. We do. We were there. We were suffering, too, because all we could do was watch helplessly as he lived day to day just to be there, not really to actually live. But we couldn't help because it was you. It was all you. You were the key that could have freed him from his world of despair and misery. You have the chance to now. The pain from the past can go away. You could do it now. And at the same time, you could free yourself."
Elena was in awe of Nick's clairvoyance. How could he understand it so deeply and completely? "How do you---"
"AJ's my brother. Maybe not in blood, but it might as well be. A friendship as long and close as ours begins to do uncanny stuff to you. We understand each other's pain."
"But how do you know mine?"
"You might not believe it, but you and AJ have a lot more in common than you think."
"I love you, Nicky."
"Love you, too, Eelie. Now go repeat those exact same words to the pissing in a bedpan cripple."
Elena laughed and wiped her tears away. "Thank you," she whispered hugging him.
"Anytime. Now get your sexy ass in there," he quipped lightly smacking her butt as she started walking towards AJ's room.
"I know you can hear me. Don't go pretending you're in a coma because it's not going to work. Sooner or later, you're going to wake up and I'll be right there ready to beat you. My God, you have put us through so much hell. You definitely deserve to get hit. But I'll wait until you're off life support. I don't want to accidentally unplug something and kill you."
Elena stifled back a giggle as she lingered in the doorway watching Kevin scold the inanimate AJ. She noticed the slightest hint of a smile playing on his still lips, so she knew he was hearing every word. Denise saw her and motioned for her to come in.
"He's faking it. I could see that cute little smirk of his all the way over there so I know he's enjoying making Kevin suffer," she hissed humorously.
Kevin and Denise chuckled softly. "Maybe you'll have better luck."
"I know I will. I know he's planning this. He's waiting for me. He doesn't want to wake up to Kevin's ugly face."
"Hey! That was mean," Kevin pouted.
"You know I'm just joking, Kevvy Kev. You're beautiful."
"I know," he smirked.
"We'll leave you two alone now. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about." Denise bent down and kissed him on the forehead. "I'll see you later, baby." She patted Elena's arm affectionately and then walked out of the room with Kevin.
Elena just stood there for a while and then took a deep breath before sitting herself next to his bed. "You sneaky little devil. I know your tricks," she teased amusingly. She lightly traced the tribal tattoo on his left arm with her nail and felt him slightly twitch under her touch.
"Heehee, that tickles," he grinned opening one eye.
"I knew it."
"Can you blame me? I like being the center of attention."
"Yeah, it's all fun and games until Kevin kicks your ass."
"He won't. After all I've been through, he wouldn't dare touch me."
"That's true. Kevin is way too nice to you, but I won't be. Maybe you do deserve a kick in the ass."
"For what?!"
Elena smiled and then held his hand. "For being so cute, and caring, and loyal, and brave, and stupid"
"Alright, alright, I've learned my lesson. No more playing hero for me. Jesus, the hospital seems to be my friggin' second home. They might as well just reserve a room for me. I know it's only a matter of time before I come back here. I think I'm hexed."
"All joking aside, how are you?"
"Well, my headache has grown to six times the size of Nick's ass. I couldn't imagine why" He eyed her suspiciously.
"Me neither," she lied suppressing laughter at the memory of his head colliding with the dashboard of the van as she was speeding to the hospital. It was funny now that he'd be alright.
"So are you ok? I mean, he didn't---"
"No, no he didn't. You arrived just in the nick of time. I'm sorry I couldn't do the same for you," she said full of remorse.
"What could you have done?"
"I don't know. Something. Anything. I would've done anything to keep you from getting hurt."
"I know that. You have nothing to be sorry about."
"But I do---"
"No," he interrupted her. "Just hear me out. Elena, I have to tell you something."
"I know what you're going to say---"
"No, please just let me finish. This might be my only chance to. Every other time I tried to talk to you, I ended up just left hanging there or bleeding. So now that we're in a controlled environment" She remained silent and ready to listen. "W-when you were with Howie, I couldn't be happier for the both of you. I was honestly glad to see that my best friend found the love he'd been looking for and most definitely deserved. There's no lie about that. And I had grown to accept it fully and welcomely. ButI must admit, deep down, I was jealous. I wanted what you had. Most importantly, I wanted to share it with you."
Elena swallowed the lump lodged in her throat and continued to listen to his heart felt confessions.
"I-I-I thought that my feelings for you would eventually go away, but the closer you and Howie became, the stronger my love for you grew. A-and when he died, I felt so guilty. Not only because he died saving me, but also because II felt somethingweird. By no means was it happiness or gratefulness or even relief because he was my friend. I was like, you know, totally shattered of course, but at the same time, I was thinking to myself 'hmm maybe now I might have a chance with her.' I just got so angry with myself. My best friend, who I've known for nearly half my life, dies saving my unworthy ass and I'm there thinking about picking up his bereft girlfriend. What the hell is that?! What the hell was wrong with me?! That was just unbelievable. That guilt combined with the sense of loss I was feeling when you thought of me just as a friend and then I learned you got engaged to NathanI just wanted to end it all. All the agony and regret and angerI love you, Elena. I've loved you since I first saw you sitting in that bar, I've loved you even when you were engagedboth times. I know you weren't actually engaged to Howie, but that's not the point. Even those four years when you were absent from my life, I couldn't stop thinking about how you were doing, what you were doing, how'd you react if I confessed my long time love for you" He took a deep breath and gently gripped her hand tighter. "Now I haveth-there's nothing left for me to say."
She wiped the tears that glided down her face with the back of her hand and sniffed. "U-umm" Looking into his sincere chocolate brown eyes, she mustered up the courage to tell her part of the story. "AJI have to admit that at first, I thought you were just the most adorable, funniest, most audacious, greatest friend in the world and that's it. Just a friend. Actually, I thought of you as a brother, another snot-nosed, bratty little brother. Or maybe I didn't. Maybe I felt it for you, too, but it was buried so deeply within me, that I didn't take notice or it didn't really surface until recently. And that upsets me very much because if I had listened to my heart and had not been so stubborn, maybe I could've saved the both of us some major pain. But I was hesitant. I was hesitant because I wanted to make sure that what I was feeling for you was real so I wouldn't kid myself or hurt you in the end. And also because I felt guilty. I felt that it was somehow wrong to have feelings for the best friend of the only man I've ever really truly madly deeply loved."
AJ sighed dejectedly still holding on to her trembling hand. "D-do you still feel it'swrong?" he choked out, his voice quivering with emotion.
"Ino. No. I know it's right. I know for sure now. It's undeniable. We were meant for each other. And I'm willing to let go of my past and look forward to my future. My future with you if you'll take me." She bit down on her lower lip to keep from crying.
"Well, that's a stupid thing to say. I've been waiting for you my whole damn life!"
She laughed and then gently wrapped her arms around him. "I love you," she whispered into his ear.
"I love you, too."
They just held onto each other for dear life, fearing that if the physical connection was broken, they'd lose each other forever. They stayed that way for a long while. Elena was the first to break the silence.
"You know, I can't stop thinking about how you're naked under there," she smirked raising an eyebrow seductively.
"Me neither. It's weird. I've never felt so free."
"I think those hiney-exposing hospital gowns are very sexy. It's really turning me on. I could screw you right here, right now," she continued to tease him walking her fingers down his chest.
"Hmm, I would absolutely love for you to screw me right now, but I'm afraid I might go into cardiac arrest right in the middle of it."
She laughed and then ran her fingers through his dark spikey hair. "I love you."
"I love you more."
"I don't think so."
"Yup."
"Nuh uh. You can't possibly match the quantity of my love for you."
"I bet I could."
"I bet you can't. It's immeasurable."
"I can still top that."
"No you can't."
"Yes I can."
"Alright, smarty pants, how?"
"I took two bullets for you and nearly fried. Beat that."
"Ohyou got me there."
"Hehe. You know, me being on life support doesn't mean we can't still cuddle." He moved over a bit making room for her on his bed. "Hop in."
"Alright!" She slowly climbed in beside him and gently rested her head against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. They were both careful not to mess with any of the wires attached to his body. It wouldn't have been very pleasant if the IV was ripped out of his veins. She closed her eyes and sighed contently. "I could stay like this forever."
"Me, too. But don't worry, no matter where we'll be, our hearts will always beat together as one. Just as they should because what we have, no one could ever take away from us." He kissed the top of her head and then looked up at the ceiling. "Thank you," he said silently to the heavens up above. He knew he was there watching.
You're welcome.
Chp 28
Chp 26
