Chp 28
"It seems like we're always saying goodbye," Staci lamented as her and Kevin's foreheads gently touched.
"It's not goodbye, justsee you later. Three months later."
"Three months too many. I know I should be getting used to it. It'll be happening many more times, but still."
"I understand what you're saying. I feel the same way and if I could spend every waking moment of my life with you, I would. But this is my job and I'm honestly grateful for having it."
"I know you are. I know how much you love it. I love it, too. You have no idea how it makes me feel watching you sing your heart out on stage and hearing the screams of the fans. But it doesn't make it any easier. I'm going to miss you so much."
"I'm going to miss you, too." He gently squeezed her hand and looked down for a moment. Then he met her sad gaze with his own and whispered, "But you know who I'm really worried about?"
"Who?"
Kevin turned his eyes to the couple on his left. "Them." Staci followed his direction and nodded her head.
"Me, too."
Elena smiled at Kevin and Staci and then turned her attention back to AJ. Her smile soon faded to reveal an expression of worry. "Are you sure you're ok enough be touring? It seems kind of soon."
"It's been four weeks already. We pushed the dates back as far as we could. Besides, the doctor said I was fine. I just can't move around too much. No dancing for me. I'm going to look so stupid just standing there on stage. I hope the fans aren't too disappointed."
"I'm sure they won't be. Nothing you guys do would ever disappoint them. Be very very careful. Don't do anything stupid."
"I know, Elena, I'm not an idiot."
"I know you're not an idiot. You're a great performer. I'm just afraid your eagerness to please will get the best of you"
"I'll try my best to control myself. Anyway, the fellas will keep me in line. Even if it means they have to tie me up."
"Oh and stay clear of over zealous fans. I don't want them ripping you apart."
AJ rolled his eyes. "Yes, Mom," he replied sarcastically.
"I'm sorry if I'm coming on like such a pain. I just worry. I love you," she said softly smiling sadly.
"I love you, too." He held her close to him and they engaged in a long departing kiss.
"September 20th?" Jen asked Brian, her teary eyes staring deeply into his.
"Yes, September 20th. I don't care if we have to tour, I don't care if we have to cancel appearances, I don't even care if World War III breaks out. Nothing is going to stop me from coming home to you. I'm going to be here, we're going to get married, and then we'll live out the rest of our lives together happily."
Jen laughed weakly and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. "I can't wait to be called Mrs. Littrell. Mrs. Jennifer Littrell. I could say it a thousand times."
"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. I still can't believe I'm lucky enough to have you in my life. What more could I possibly ask for?"
"I can't think of anything more. You're all I need." She kissed him tenderly and then buried her face into his shoulder while holding him tight.
Nick looked on at the heart wrenching displays of love and goodbye. He envied the three couples. "I wish I had a girlfriend," he sighed solemnly.
"Flight 287 for Dallas, Texas will now begin boarding," the voice from the intercom echoed throughout the whole airport.
"That's us, guys. Let's go," Nick announced stepping into the terminal. Kevin, Brian, and AJ painfully separated themselves from their girlfriends and exchanged one last kiss and goodbye before following Nick. AJ glanced back one last time and mouthed the words "I love you." Elena feebly waved and silently said it back no longer hiding her sadness as the salty droplets rolled down her flushed cheeks. She watched him disappear down the narrow hall. She felt a hand gently land on her shoulder.
"The first time is always the hardest," Jen remarked somberly.
"I know. But the hardest thing about it is, this isn't the last time. How do you handle it?"
"I used to lose myself in my work, but now that I have you two" She put one arm around Elena and the other around Staci. "I'm sure we'll be fine as long as we stick together."
"Backstreet Girls unite," stated Staci stretching her hand out. Jen put hers on top of Staci's.
Elena smiled, suddenly feeling much better and placed her hand on top of Jen's. Everything would be alright in the end. "BSB and BSG forever."
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"Ooh that dress so scandalous
And I know another n***** couldn't handle this
She shakin' that thing like who the ish
With the look in her eye so devilish, uh
She like to dance in all the hip hop spots
Then she cruise through the crews like connect the dots
Not just urban she like the pop
Cuz she was livin' la vida loca"
Sisqo's timeless Thong Song boomed throughout the Canadian nightclub. People were shakin' their things alright. And Nick was enjoying every minute of it. He practically drooled at the sight of the tall slim blonde that was bouncing and shimmying out of her dress.
"Oh man, she is sa-weet! What I wouldn't give for a piece of that, let me tell ya!" He elbowed Brian to get him to look. "Wouldn't you agree, B-Rok?"
Brian just shrugged and sighed. "She's ok." Nick shot him a weird look and then looked around the table at his three bandmates. They all had the same expression on their faces sheer boredom. It was pathetic.
"Guys!" Nick whined. "What the heck's wrong with you?! I know you miss your gals, but come on! You're depressing me!"
"Oh you wouldn't understand, young stupid Nicky," AJ remarked.
"I understand completely. You guys are whipped!"
"Shut up. So anyways" AJ decided to ignore Nick and converse with his more mature and empathetic friends. "Hey Bri, how's the wedding going?"
"Umm, well Jen's gonna search for the bridesmaid dresses sometime next week and we picked out the invitations we wanted. We just gotta get them done and sent out. There's gonna be like 200 people coming and then some."
"Wow, that's big."
"Yup." Brian turned to Kevin and grinned. "So cuz, when are you gonna ask Staci, huh?"
"Umm" Kevin turned bright red. "I don't know."
"Have you thought about it?"
"I have, but I think it's still a little too soon in the relationship. I think AJ will be getting hitched before I do. Ain't that right, Bone?"
AJ smirked. "I wouldn't doubt it." His face soon contorted into a slight grimace. "Ow."
"You ok?" Kevin asked him concerned.
"Yeah, just a little sore, that's all."
"We told you you shouldn't have done those pelvic thrusts. Elena would kill you if she found out."
"I only did a couple. Now if I went all the way and did my famous floor humping routine, that would've been ugly."
"It's been a while since you've done that. Finally getting satisfied?" Nick teased.
"Not lately."
"Yeah, how do you handle that? It's been like weeks since you've done the nasty."
Kevin raised an eyebrow. "The nasty? How old are we, twelve?"
"Believe it or not, I don't really miss it that much."
Brian clutched his heart feigning a heart attack. "Hell has just frozen over and AJ Bone Daddy McLean does not miss sex!"
"I'm serious!"
"But it's fun!" Nick added.
"Of course it's fun, but that's as far as it will go. If it's not with the right person, it doesn't mean anything. You wake up the next morning not knowing or remembering who you're lying next to or even having any recollection of the night before. What's the point of that besides having a very short period of empty pleasure? The only way, I think, you get anything out of it is when you're sharing those special moments with the person you would literally die for. There's a big difference between having sex and making love."
Kevin and Brian nodded in agreement thoroughly impressed with his explanation. Nick just stared in shock. "Wait a sec, who are you and what have you done with AJ?!"
"What? I'm still me. I've just finally grown up, thanks to Elena." Just the mention of her name brought a stupid grin to his face.
"Dude, you are so whipped!
"Call me whipped, call me head over heels, call me what you want. I'm so friggin' happy, my face hurts from smiling so much. I never knew anything could feel this great."
Nick smiled feeling genuinely happy for his friend's newfound rapture. After all he had been through, he definitely deserved it. "All joking aside, I'm really glad you and Elena got together. You guys were made for each other." He paused for a moment and then sighed heavily and began playing with his napkin. "I envy you three. I really do. There you guys are, hopelessly in love in your own little worlds, while I'm just somewhere else all alone like a country dunny."
AJ put a reassuring arm around him and sympathized. "Don't feel too bad. You're only 24, you still have time to find that special someone."
"You knew you were in love when you were 21."
"Yeah, but it didn't help me much now did it. I just had to wait patiently and it finally paid off."
"Yeah, after you lived through five years of pure hell and nearly died three times."
AJ pondered for a moment. "True, but here I am, more alive and well than ever before! Well, in the emotional sense cause we know physically, I'm only three quarters there."
"Speaking of your current condition and past nearly fatal encounter with Satan," Kevin began, looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "What I gathered from your and Elena's accounts of that dreadful night was that you were trapped in that burning building with absolutely no way out. Not to mention that your loss of blood and inhalation of the suffocating smoke must have left you practically dead."
"Yes, Kevin. Minus the big words you're using that might confuse Nicky , that is basically what we said."
"Hey! I do to understand!" Nick huffed scowling. "Stop treating me like I'm still a teenager!"
"Yeah yeah, shut up, Nick. Go on, Kevin."
"Right, well don't think that I'm not thankful, but I can't understand how you came out of that alive. Considering all of the obstacles, one would believe that it's just downright impossible! That was some miracle!"
AJ smiled ruefully. "That it was. I definitely had help from a higher power." He stared out onto the dance floor and thought he caught a glimpse of someone familiar walking through the crowds. He squinted his eyes trying to get a better look, but the mysterious figure was making his way towards the exit. He was getting away.
"Umm, excuse me." AJ hastily rose out of his seat and quickly started towards the exit himself, leaving behind a very baffled Kevin, an extremely perplexed Brian, and an utterly confused Nick.
AJ followed the figure out of the club, but as soon as his foot stepped out into the windy night, it disappeared. There was absolutely no trace of him. AJ looked around frantically. He was positive he saw something. But there was nothing in front of him. AJ was cryptically mystified. Could it have been only his imagination? Was his mind playing tricks on him? Or could it have beenan apparition? AJ shuddered at the thought. Why, he did not know. After all, it wouldn't have been the first time he had been visited by a ghost---no, angel. The correct term was angel. By why would he be here? They only come when something bad was going to happen, right? Like when you're about to die---
AJ sensed someone come up behind him and he whirled around startled. His face was blanched with fear and his eyes were as big as saucers. When he saw who it was, he closed his eyes briefly and breathed a sigh of relief while trying to calm his racing heart.
"Hey, dude, you ok? You look like you've just seen a ghost!" Nick commented grinning.
"Y-yeah, I-I-I'm fine," AJ stammered in response. "Did-did you see someone walk out the door just a few seconds ago?"
"Yeahyou."
AJ rolled his eyes. "Besides me, you dildo!"
"No, the only thing we saw was you freak out and run out here for no reason."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I am. Looks like you had one too many shots tonight. Maybe we should get you home," Nick suggested with a hint of worry in his voice.
"Maybe," he sighed giving up. They started walking back into the club when AJ decided to take one last glance behind him. Nothing was there. Nothing but darkness and eerie silence. 'AJ, you're paranoid. It was nothing. It was nothing,' he kept telling himself and almost started to believe it. But he couldn't help but wonder.
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"What do you think of this one?" Staci asked Jen as she modeled a lavender halter-top gown. Jen scrunched up her face and nodded no.
"Nah. I don't like lavender. I think something deeper would be better."
Staci put her hands on her hips and titled her head. "Jen, you're getting married in September. It's still practically spring! You need a light color."
"But not that light! It's almost the same color as my dress! Go try on the" Jen stood up from her place on the chair and shuffled through the dress rack. "Nope, not blackdefinitely not yellowaah!" She pulled out a velvet emerald green princess dress. "This one is very very nice. What do you think?"
"That certainly is pretty. It will look really good on Elena, you know with her green eyes and stuff. We should get her opinion. Yo, Eelie! Get your ass out here and tell us what you think of this one!"
"Wait a second! I'm still putting this peach one on!" Elena shouted from behind the fitting curtains. A minute later, she pushed the curtains aside and trudged out in a bright peach tube dress. Jen and Staci held back their giggles. Elena didn't have enough to fill up the top of her dress, therefore she had to hold it up. "Umm, I don't think this will work."
"Hey, I'll donate some fat from my ass to your chest!" Staci teased.
"Shut up!" Suddenly, Elena clutched her stomach and her hand flew over her mouth.
Jen raised an eyebrow. "Eelie? You ok?"
She nodded her head and then dashed into the ladies' room.
"I'll go see if she's alright," Staci volunteered and then entered the restroom. There was only one stall that was occupied. "Are you ok?" Elena's response was another gagging fit. She heard the toilet flush and then Elena emerged from the stall looking really pale. She grimaced in discomfort.
"Uhhhhh," she groaned slowly making her way towards the sink.
"Eelie, how long have you been feeling like this?"
Elena bent over the sink and splashed some cold water over her face. "A couple of days now."
"You didn't have to come with us today, you know."
"I wanted to. I can handle a little puking. No biggie." She looked down at the ground and started playing with her fingers nervously. "UmmI'm late."
Staci furrowed her brow in confusion. "For what?" Then the reality dawned on her. Her eyes widened. "You mean?"
Elena looked up at her shyly. "Yeah. I'm a month late."
"Do you really think you areyou know?"
"Well, I'm experiencing some of the signs, but I'm not 100% positive. I wanna hop over to the drugstore and get a home testing kit. Those things are 99% accurate right?"
"Yeah, considering they're done with blood samples now."
"Oh my God, come with me?"
"Sure. Are you going to tell Jen?"
"Yeah, I might as well. She'd find out sooner or later anyway."
Staci and Elena started plodding out the door silently. Jen met them half way there. "Elena, are you ok?"
"I don't know yet," Elena answered quietly.
"What?"
Staci pulled her aside and whispered into her ear. Jen gaped and just stared at Elena for a moment. And then
"OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! YOU'RE HAVING A BABY!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" she screamed jumping up and down and flopping her hands around.
"Jen! Be quiet! We're not sure yet!" Staci scolded holding her arms down. Jen blushed.
"Sorry."
"Guys, let's go. I want to get this over with," Elena stated going behind the curtains to change into her clothes.
Jen leaned against the wall beside her fitting cubicle. "Elena?" she whispered through the drapes.
"What?"
"What if you are?"
There was a long pause before Elena finally responded with a sigh. "I don't know."
Elena, with the company and support of her two friends, managed to make the purchase without hyperventilating at a nearby CVS. They rushed to her house to finally answer the question that was nagging at their minds. Was Elena pregnant with AJ's child? Well in fifteen minutes, they would soon find out
Staci, Jen, and Elena all sat around in her living room anxiously awaiting the results that would forever change both her and AJ's lives. AJoh my God, what if he didn't want it? What if it turned out that she was pregnant, would he still want her? Elena pushed those awful thoughts out of her mind. This wasn't the right time to be getting depressed.
Staci bit her nails and shook her leg nervously. Her best friend could be having a baby. What a beautiful thing. She suddenly felt jealous. She always pondered about what a great father Kevin would make. There was no doubt about. Knowing the pain of losing his own father, Kevin would certainly make every moment with his children count. She smiled at the thought.
Jen was having dreams of her own. 'Soon I'll be the one anxiously waiting like this. It would be the best thing to happen to both me and Brian.' She sighed longingly. 'Brian, my little angel. After we're married, we'll start a family. One boy and one girl. That'd be lovely, but I'm not picky. I don't care as long as they are happy and healthy. Our lives will be complete.'
The ding of the timer yanked all of them out of their reveries. It was time. Elena was the first to get up.
"You want me to go with you?" Staci offered.
"No, it's something I need to face by myself. Thank you." Taking a deep breath and then exhaling it raggedly, Elena walked into the bathroom.
Minutes later, there was still no word from Elena. Jen was about to pull her hair out. Staci was just about ready to barge through the door. After a few more moments of tormenting silence, a soft sob was heard.
"Guys?" her voice called out shaking. Jen and Staci immediately shot out of their seats and scrambled towards the bathroom. They found her leaning over the sink. Her hands were clutching it so hard, her knuckles were white. They noticed that her cheeks were flushed and some tears were still glistening in her eyes. Without looking up, she croaked out, "I'm pregnant."
Jen and Staci were frozen in shock. They didn't know why, after all, they were kind of expecting it. Elena met their surprised gazes with her own. Her face broke into a wide happy smile. "I'm pregnant! I'm having a baby!" she shouted excitedly. The other two soon wore off their shock and joined her in the squealing and cheering. They hugged each other and cried.
"Congratulations!" Jen exclaimed.
"Oh my God, I can't believe it!" Staci cried.
"Me, neither!"
"I'm going to be her godmother right?!"
"Her?! No way, it's going to be a boy!"
"No, a girl!"
"A boy!"
"A girl!"
"Or it could be both!"
Staci gave Jen a weird look while Elena chuckled at their foolish argument. "Both?! You mean a hermaphrodite?!"
Jen burst out laughing. "No! I mean twins!"
"TWINS?!" both Staci and Elena shouted out incredulously.
"Well, you never know!"
"Uh uh, one baby at one time is enough! If I'm going to have to shoot two babies out, I am going to hurt AJ so badly---" Elena stopped abruptly and gasped. "Oh my God! I have to tell AJ!"
"Yes you do! They're in New York right now, right? I'll call him now!" Staci ran for the phone.
"NO! DON'T!!!" Elena screamed jumping in front of her.
"Why not?! Oh right! You should be the one calling him!"
"No, I-I-I can't tell him!"
"WHAT?!" Staci grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her violently. "What do you mean you can't tell him?! You have to! Are you crazy?!"
"It's not that easy! I mean, we haven't been together that long! What if he's not ready?! He can't have both a kid and a career! What if he doesn't want it?! What if he doesn't want me anymore?! Then what would I do?! I can't live without him! I wouldn't want to!"
"Elena! I thought you knew him better than that! Of course he'd want you! And I'm sure that he wants this baby! I bet he'd be the happiest guy in the world the second you tell him!"
"B-b-but what about the band?!"
"I'm positive he'll keep his career and private life separate. He would never do anything to hurt you, Elena, you know that."
"I know. I-I-I'm just scared."
Staci put her arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a quick hug. "Don't be. Everything will be fine, you'll see. Call him."
"I will. Just give me a sec." Elena squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath, counted to 10, and then released it.
"Better?"
"No, but I'll do it anyway." She picked up the phone and began dialing the number to their hotel room. Her hands were shaking so badly she kept messing up. "Dammit! Staci, I'm too nervous, can you do it for me?"
"Sure. What, dialing or telling him?"
"Just dial. I have to be the one to tell him."
"Ok." She pressed in the numbers and then waited patiently as the phone rang. Jen sat down on the floor beside her trying to comfort the trembling Elena. Finally after five rings, a familiar deep raspy voice answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey, hun, it's me Staci."
"Hey, how's it going?"
"Umm, very good. Elena's got something to tell you." Elena nodded her head frantically, but Staci shoved the phone into her face anyway. She grabbed the phone and put it up to her ear, but didn't, or more like couldn't, say anything. She just squeaked and breathed loudly.
AJ raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Hello?"
After hearing his voice, Elena got even more choked up. When she opened her mouth to speak, no sound came out. Panicked, she turned to Staci. Staci just gave her a what the hell are you doing look and hissed, "Say something!"
"I can't!" she mouthed wide eyed.
"Do it!"
AJ had no idea what was going on and was just left hanging on the phone. "Hey, is anyone there? Hello?"
Staci couldn't stand it any longer. "ELENA!" she hollered startling Elena, Jen, and AJ.
"What the hell?!" AJ exclaimed after jumping back into his skin.
Nick, Brian, and Kevin who were also in the room gave him a questioning look. He just shrugged.
"Who is it?" Brian asked him.
"It's Staci."
"Why would Staci be calling you?" Kevin inquired puzzled.
"I don't know. She says that Elena has something to tell me, but no one's talking."
"AJ?" a barely audible meek voice croaked out. Staci's wake up call jolted some sense into her finally.
"Yes? Elena, is that you?"
"Umm, yeah"
"What is it?"
"Umm, I have to tell you something"
"Yeah, we established that five minutes ago. What do you have to tell me?"
"UmmI-I-I"
"Yeah?"
"I'm"
"Yeah?"
"I'mI'm-I'm going to hurl!" She dropped the phone and ran to the bathroom. Staci growled exasperated and then picked up the phone.
"AJ, you still there?"
"What the heck's going on?! Is she ok?!"
"Umm, sort of."
"What do you mean sort of?!"
"I can't tell you."
"What?! Why not?!"
"Because I can't. Oh! Oh she's coming back! She'll tell you!" He heard some shuffling noises and some inaudible arguing that sounded more like hissing. AJ was growing impatient. He wasn't one to wait too long.
"Hello?! Will someone please tell me what's going on over there!"
"I'm sorry," Elena's voice said quivering. She sounded like she was about to cry. AJ suddenly became worried.
"Are you ok? What's wrong?" he asked her gently.
"Nothing's wrongwell, at least I don't take it as being bad, but I don't know what you will think."
He noticed that she ignored his first question. "Just tell me and I'll let you know what I think."
"But it's not that easy! This isn't something to be taken lightly."
"Elena, please whatever it is, just tell me. You're scaring me here."
"Sorry" There was a long pause. AJ couldn't handle the suspense any longer. If she wasn't going to tell him soon, he was going to catch a flight over there and find out for himself. He heard her take a long deep breath and hastily let it out. "AJ, honey, you're going to be a daddy." There! It was finally out! She waited anxiously for his response. When none came, she began to grow fearful. "AJ?" Suddenly, she heard a loud thump and Nick swearing loudly. She heard a bunch of shouting and then finally Brian's frantic voice sounded from the other end.
"What the heck did you tell him?! He's out cold!"
"Umm well, Brian, I'm pregnant."
"You're---you're what?!"
"I'm pregnant."
"That's what I thought you said! Oh my---Elena, I---Aahhh, I'm going to be an uncle again!"
Elena laughed at his excitement. "Well, I guess you are!"
"Yo, dude, what the dilly?!" Nick exclaimed about to strangle someone.
"ELENA'S HAVING A BABY!!!" Brian informed the rest of the band jumping around.
"NO WAY! AJ, you lucky bastard!!!"
Kevin snatched the phone away from Brian. "Elena, if I could reach through the phone, I'd hug you and give you a big wet kiss! Congratulations, sweetheart!"
"Thank you, Kevin!"
"Oh wow! Who would've thought that AJ would become a father before me?! It's just that---I mean---it's AJ!"
Elena's smile faded away from her face. "It is, isn't it," she stated with a hint of sadness, concern, and fear in her voice.
"If he was conscious, I bet he'd be beaming with pride."
"Would he?"
"Of course he would."
"Yo, Kev, give me the phone!" she heard Nick yell.
"No, hold on a minute."
"You already got to talk to her! Give me the phone!"
"Hold on!"
"No! It's my turn!"
"Nick! You immature---"
Some muttering and scuffling emanated from the phone line and into Elena's ear.
"HI, EELIE!"
"Hey, Nicky!"
"Oh my God, that is SO cool that you're having a kid! You are going to name him after me, right?"
Elena giggled. "We don't even know if it's a him yet. Besides, I thought Brian's first son was going to be named after you."
"Yeah, but yours is sooner!"
Elena listened and laughed when she heard Brian singing "I'm going to be an uncle! I'm going to be an uncle!" in the background.
"I am so happy for the both you, Eelie! Oh, the father to be is coming around!" Elena tensed again. "Welcome back, DAD!"
"Give me the phone," she heard him demand. She swallowed the lump in her throat and found herself despairing over the fact that she couldn't tell what he was thinking by the sound of his voice. It expressed no emotion. She bit down on her lower lip to keep herself from crying.
For a few seconds, all she could hear was the sound of his calm breathing and the occasional sniff. Those were the most intense moments of her life.
"AJ?" she strained realizing that she was already sobbing.
"I love you," was the first phrase to come out of his mouth. That was all she needed to hear. She hiccuped and then laughed weakly while wiping her tears away with her hands. How could she have ever doubted him?
"I love you, too."
Chp 29
Chp 27
