IF YOU READ ON IT MEANS YOU CAN HANDLE OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE AND HUMOR!! THESE ARE YOUR NOT SO GOOD HOROSCOPES AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE SOME LAUGHS DON'T LOOK NO FURTHER!! THANK YOU *******************************************************
Aries Mar.21-Apr.19 You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are a pain on the neck. *******************************************************
Taurus Apr.20-May 20 You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are a nothing more than a Damn Communist. *******************************************************
Gemini May 21-June 20 You are a quick and intelligent thinker. Most people like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. In other words, you are cheap bastard. Geminis are known for committing incest. *******************************************************
Cancer June 21-July 22 You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off; that's why you'll never make anything of yourself. Most welfare recipients are Cancer people. *******************************************************
Leo July 23-Aug.22 You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are just pushy. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieves. *******************************************************
Virgo Aug.23-Sept.22 You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps. *******************************************************
Libra Sept.23-Oct.21 You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a man, you are more than likely gay. Chances for employment and monetary gain are excellent. Most Libra women are good prostitutes. All Libras die of venereal disease. *******************************************************
Scorpio Oct.22-Nov.21 You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpios are murdered. *******************************************************
Sagittarius Nov.22-Dec.21 You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck, since you lack talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks or dopers. People laugh at you a great deal. *******************************************************
Capricorn Dec.22-Jan.19 You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of anything; you are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid standing still for too long, as they take root and become trees. *******************************************************
Aquarius Jan.20-Feb.18 You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes over and over again. People think you are stupid. *******************************************************
Pieces Feb.9-March 20 You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have minor influence over your associates, and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. Pisces people do terrible things to small animals. *******************************************************
