December 25th 1:49 am
//Then won't you tell me you'll never more roam
Christmas and New Year's will find you at home.//
The drive to the loft was for the most part silent. Both men had been awake for almost twenty-four hours straight, and exhaustion had finally caught up with them. Blair fell into a light doze minutes after he buckled his seatbelt, leaving Jim to navigate the deserted streets of Cascade with only the radio for company.
Too tired to take the stairs, the Sentinel ushered his sleepy Guide into the waiting elevator. "Hey Chief, didn't you bring any luggage with you?"
Not bothering to raise his closed eyelids, Blair mumbled out a response. "Already upstairs."
"You took a cab from the airport to here, and then out to Simon's? That must have cost you a fortune!" Jim exclaimed through a face-splitting yawn.
Like a Pavlov dog, the sound alone was enough to drag a yawn from his Guide as well. "Steven...limo...," Even the Sentinel's hearing wasn't enough to make out all of the words, but it was enough to get the picture. Still, the explanation didn't surprise Jim in the least.
Jim used one hand to unlock the front door, and propelled his drowsy partner through it with the other. Flipping the switch by the door, the room was illuminated only by the tiny Christmas bulbs which bathed the loft in a warm glow. Blair's bag sat on the floor near the end of the coffee table next to a large brown cardboard box that bore the address of the loft written in thick black magic marker. The Sentinel smiled as he envisioned the younger man quickly dropping off his things before racing over to Simon's party. There was a chill in the air, and knowing how much Blair hated the cold, Jim moved to the fireplace to get a blaze going.
"Do you want some coffee or tea, Chief?" Jim asked looking away from his work. Hearing no response, he turned around to see his Guide fast asleep on the larger of the two sofas. Smiling at the portrait before him, the Sentinel walked over and covered Blair with the quilt from the back of the couch.
Leaning forward to plant a tender kiss on his Guide's forehead, Jim was startled as the younger man's arms came up from under the blanket and enveloped him in a tight embrace. Using his enhanced hearing, the Sentinel listened to the slow heartbeat and respiration that told him Blair was for the most part, still asleep. Still, he couldn't resist the urge to move closer to the warmth of the man holding him.
"Stay." His awkward position left an ear close to his Guide's parted lips, so what normally would have been a faint whisper, even to his sensitive hearing, instead sounded like a breathy invitation. The thought of not accepting never once crossed his mind.
Stripping down to his boxers, the Sentinel crawled under the covers and conformed himself to the warm figure of his Guide. In his sleep, Blair instinctively threw an arm over Jim's broad chest as he nestled closer to the larger man. Jim was almost asleep himself when one last whisper caused him to smile.
"Finally home."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Through the hazy veil of half-consciousness that only comes when waking from the deepest sleep, Jim felt the warm, tender hand that was gently caressing his back. At first, the Sentinel thought the sensation was just another of the erotic dreams that he had been experiencing over the course of the past four months. However, none of the dreams had ever been so realistic to his auditory, olfactory, and tactile senses.
The warm breath that escaped the soft, full lips as they tenderly brushed against his collar bone was enough to wring a groan from deep within his chest. Encouraged by the sound, Blair made a path of brushing kisses from Jim's shoulder, up his neck, only stopping when he reached an ear. His hot, wet tongue darted out to trace the outermost edge of the rim before slowly circling inward.
The intoxicating sound of Blair's breathing was magnified a hundredfold just by proximity. The combination of the sensual sound combined with the warm air that passed over the damp trail left by the wandering tongue was enough to raise gooseflesh over the entire right side of the Sentinel's body. When the younger man shifted his hand from Jim's broad back to sweep down to the rounding curve of his buttocks, the detective couldn't stop himself from calling out Blair's name in desire.
For some reason unknown to the Sentinel, that one simple word broke the passionate spell that they had created. Blair slowed his erotic ministrations before he stopped completely and moved away from the body he had just been pressed up against. The motion was mostly symbolic, considering that he hadn't moved more than a half a foot or so before his shoulder blades came into contact with the back of the sofa.
Confused by the sudden withdrawal of the pleasing stimulations, the Sentinel's eyes flew open to find the cause of the problem. In an instant, the detective's mind registered the fact that it was still dark outside. There was a layer of condensation covering all of the windows of the loft caused when the warmer air inside the loft met up with the cooler air on the other side of the glass. Judging by the cooling air of the room, they had probably been asleep for no more than three hours or so.
Even with the illumination thrown by the white Christmas bulbs, Jim's enhanced senses automatically dilated his pupils, allowing him to take a closer look at the face of the man who had teased him into full hardness with a few simple touches. The expression on his Guide's face was a strange mix of desire and self-disgust.
“Oh man, Jim. I'm like, so sorry," Blair whispered.
Totally confused, the Sentinel couldn't hold back his response. "Sorry for what, Blair?"
Unable to look the older man in the eyes, the anthropologist kept his gaze on the design of the quilt that covered them. "I, well, I promised myself that I wouldn't do this -- that you had complete control over this relationship. I never meant to take advantage of you in your sleep."
Shaking his head at his Guide's needless gallantry, Jim crossed the short distance between them, searching to once again find Blair's soft inviting lips. It was only a second before the younger man acquiesced to the kiss, melting against the larger form of his Sentinel as his tongue darted forward to sweep boldly across the older man's upper lip. Jim took the movement as a challenge and captured the hot flesh by drawing it into his own mouth. They danced and swirled against each other until both men pulled apart gasping for breath. Moving his own body to completely cover his Guide's smaller form, Jim brought his lips down to Blair's neck.
His steady progression of licks and kisses brought a symphony of passionate moans from the younger man. Driven by the erotic sounds, the Sentinel couldn't stop his pelvis from rocking rhythmically against the body beneath his. Blair felt the undulations and began counterthrusting in time to Jim's movements. Both men gasped when their rock hard erections brushed against each other for the first time. The Sentinel grunted as his Guide's fingers involuntarily dug into the corded muscles of his back in response to the intimate contact. At any other time, the pain would have been uncomfortable, but instead it only added to the growing desire that was quickly overwhelming him.
The maddening friction that was created by the movements was too powerful to stop. Adjusting his arm, the Sentinel shifted his position slightly to increase the amount of contact between their aching cocks. Even through the layers of clothing that separated them, Jim's heighten tactile sense could distinctly feel the rolling of the younger man's abdominal muscles as they constricted with each thrust.
The sensation mesmerized the Sentinel, bringing him right to the edge of a zone out. In a effort to prevent it, Jim ran one of his large hands up and entwined it in his Guide's long hair. Almost too late, the Sentinel realized the error of his action as the soft, silky texture of the curls completely captured his attention.
A stinging bite to his nipple quickly brought him back to reality. Jim opened his eyes and looked down to his chest to find Blair staring back at him. "You still with me?" The passion-darkened, smoky eyes never left Jim's as the anthropologist soothed the now throbbing nipple with gentle licks. The effect of the simple action was intensified by the lingering pain, causing the Sentinel to arch his back, silently pleading for more of the tender stimulation.
"St...still here. Oh God, Blair. More, please, more," Jim managed to gasp.
"All you want, Jim. All you want," Blair whispered in reassurance. The anthropologist continued his oral assault all over his Sentinel's chest. It seemed to the Sentinel's lust-filled brain that even his heightened tactile sense couldn't register all of the fleeting licks, kisses, and playful bites his Guide was randomly administering all along his upper body. Throughout the entire barrage of stimulation, the rhythmic movement of hips gradually increased in speed and strength.
It was the Sentinel who came first, howling wordlessly at the intensity of the orgasm that swept through his body. Once the initial rush had passed, Jim realized that Blair was still thrusting against him, not having gone over the edge himself. Still out of breath, the Sentinel moved his hips in the rhythm that his Guide was setting.
Opening his eyes for the first time since the madness had overtaken him, Jim saw Blair staring back at him. Somehow, he instinctively knew that the younger man had watched him as he climaxed. For some unknown reason, the idea seemed exquisitely erotic. Figuring that turnabout was fair play, Jim decided that he wanted to see his Guide in the throws of passion.
"Close your eyes, Blair," he ordered in a throaty whisper. Extending a hand to softly caress the younger man's face, Jim quickened the thrusts of his half erect cock against his Guide's throbbing member. "Come for me, Blair. Come for me," he chanted in encouragement. The younger man's expressive face reflected dozens of emotions all at once as he strained to reach completion. Never before had Jim bothered to look this closely at a lover so close to the brink, and he was suddenly glad that he had never taken the time with anyone other than Blair.
The vision of the man under him was beyond words. Long curls spilled over the cushions of the sofa, begging for Jim's fingers to run carefully through them. The roots were damp from the same perspiration that created a glossy sheen over the flushed face. Blair's normally gentle forehead was creased by the soft, feathery eyebrows that arched in concentration while he raced towards his impending climax. Lowering his gaze, Jim took in the sight of the dark eyelashes, so long they almost seemed feminine in appearance. His Guide's slightly upturned nose was flaring as he struggled to meet his lungs' urgent need for air. Across the flushed cheeks and chin, there was a rough layer of stubble that surrounded that enchanting mouth. The full, pouting lips were parted, allowing the small breathy moans that accompanied each exhale to escape.
Overwhelmed by what he saw, Jim tried to channel all of his feelings into the tone of his voice when he whispered, "God Blair, you are just so beautiful..."
The rest of what Jim was going to say was forgotten as one of Blair's soft moans grew rapidly into a wail of pleasure as he exploded in orgasm. The Sentinel gasped as his Guide's face tightened into what looked like a grimace of pain. As the younger man's seed poured from his body, his closed eyelids squeezed together as his mouth opened wide in a kind of twisted smile. The tautly stretched lips drew back to expose the two rows of small, white teeth that only a few minutes earlier had inflamed the Sentinel's chest with their bite.
Only when he was finally spent did Blair's flushed face relax completely. Totally enthralled by what he had just been privileged enough to witness, Jim sat there gaping open-mouthed at his Guide. Aside from the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he continued to pant for breath, and the occasional aftershock tremors; the younger man was totally motionless. Even his eyes were still closed.
"Blair?" Jim asked, unable to keep the worry out of his voice. The Sentinel shifted as best he could within the confines of the limited space the sofa had to offer. He ended up on his side, with his back up against the couch. Wrapping one arm over Blair's shoulder, the other was pinned against the seat of the sofa by the younger man's resting head. Still unresponsive, the Sentinel used his hearing to monitor his Guide's heartbeat. It was a little fast, but returning to normal. Blair most likely had either passed out or had fallen back to sleep. Either way, he was going to be fine.
Hugging the smaller frame tightly to his own, Jim quickly followed his Guide into unconsciousness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
December 25th 10:02 am
//There'll be no more sorrow, no grief, or pain
Cause I'll be happy that it's Christmas once again.//
It was the dull ache in the Sentinel's right arm that woke him this time. On the whole, he had to admit that waking from Blair's earlier caresses had been much more pleasurable. Trying his best not to stir his sleeping Guide, Jim slipped the protesting appendage out from under the cascade of silky curls. The careful movement brought a rush of blood as circulation returned. The agonizing sensation of pins and needles forced the Sentinel to hiss in pain as he attempted to shake the feeling out of his arm.
The sharp noise woke the younger man immediately. Blair sat up on his elbow smirking at his Sentinel's predicament. "Guess we should have gone for a bed, huh?"
"Hey, I wasn't the one who all but passed out on the couch, Sandburg," Jim protested as he sat back on his knees.
The Sentinel's movement caused the blanket that had covered them to fall back behind his kneeling form. The younger man stared at Jim's muscular chest like a prisoner let loose in a house of ill repute. Shaking his head to clear his baser thoughts, Blair asked what the time was.
Jim had not missed his Guide's visual examination; and despite his best intentions, found himself blushing from the close scrutiny. It actually took a second for Blair's question to register before he looked down at his watch. "It's a little after ten, Chief."
"What time do we have to be at the Brown's?"
"Not until three or so," Jim replied as he stood up from the couch. He smiled as he heard Blair suck in a sharp breath at the sight of his boxer-clad form. Slowly, the Sentinel turned around and saw the desire in the younger man's eyes. As if suddenly aware of his thoughts, Blair quickly looked away. A flash of anger swept through the older man, and he quickly moved to cup the stubble-covered chin in his hand. When the smoky blue eyes finally met his own pale blues, Jim spoke in a tone that brooked no argument. "Don't ever do that. Don't turn away from me. Don't try to hide what you feel. Especially not when it's just you and me." In an effort to take some of the sting out of his words, the Sentinel leaned forward and kissed the younger man soundly. When they finally drew apart from each other, Jim left his hand to gently caress a roughened cheek.
Nuzzling into the tender touch, Blair kept his gaze fixed on the soft blue eyes before him. "I'm sorry," he began shyly. "It's just...well...," Jim nodded slightly, urging him to continue. "It's just that we've never, well this relationship has never seen the light of day, you know what I mean?"
Jim was staring at the younger man as though he had suddenly sprouted three heads. He didn't understand what Blair was trying to say. It took him a minute to comprehend what the anthropologist meant before the realization hit him. Blair was right. All of their encounters, hell, even most of their long hours of phone calls had taken place at night. The last time they had been together during the day was that horrible morning that Blair had departed for Virginia. Recalling his stupidity in rejecting the man he loved after their first incredible night together, Jim mentally kicked himself about eight different ways for not doing a better job of showing his affections for the younger man this morning.
Jim knew better than anybody that a good portion of the younger man's staggering self-confidence was a facade, especially when it came to long-term romantic relationships. Blair had never proven to be adept at them, even when the stakes were much lower than they were now. Instinctively, the Sentinel knew that his Guide was going to require constant reassurances, especially after the way Jim had treated him last time they had been face to face.
Gently stroking the stubble-covered flesh under his hand, Jim did his best to ease the younger man's mind. "I want to make this perfectly clear, okay Blair? I know that I've screwed up a lot already when it comes to us, to this...relationship. It took a long time for me to decide what I wanted...no, scratch that. I think I knew what I wanted from the first night we were together. It just took me a long time to accept it." Jim paused for a breath, taking the opportunity to gaze intently into those dark eyes. "I just want you to know that any doubts I had about you and me went out the window last night when you walked across Simon's living room. I love you, Blair. I love you so much that I can't even remember why I ever thought I shouldn't."
Through the veil of moisture that was gathering in his own eyes, Jim observed his Guide deal with a similar problem. With an iron will, the Sentinel kept the threatening tears from actually falling, but Blair wasn't so lucky. Moving slowly, the smaller man reached up to pull Jim into a fierce embrace. "I love you, too, Jim," he said quietly into the Sentinel's neck before gracing the flesh under his lips with a gentle kiss.
As they stepped back from each other, they shared a smile. Blair's expression of one of love and adoration, but there was something else there, as well. If the Sentinel had to put a label on it, he would have called it reservation. Wanting no secrets between them, Jim forehead creased in puzzlement as he spoke. "What is it, Chief?"
"Huh?" Blair asked, honestly confused by his Sentinel's question.
"There's still something bothering you, isn't there?" Jim prodded. The younger man froze, but his increased heartbeat gave him away. Sensing his Guide's hesitance, the Sentinel was quick to put him at ease. "It's okay, Blair. Whatever it is, just tell me, okay?"
Jim watched Blair's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed nervously. Visibly gathering his courage, he took a deep breath before he spoke softly. "I'm sorry, Jim. It's just that...well, I know that you love me, and I love you too, man. More than you'll ever know, but...I'm just kinda...well...I'm...I guess scared is the best word."
"I'm not following you here, Chief. What are you afraid of?" Jim asked.
Blair began pacing as he attempted to put his emotions into words. "I'm not sure. No, forget that. I'm just nervous I guess," he held up a hand to forestall what he knew Jim was about to say. "Look, you know that relationships have never been my strong point, and what's happened in the past twenty-four hours by far surpassed my best-case scenario of what would happen when we finally saw each other again. I guess what worries me is that it's too perfect, Jim. Everything is fine so far, no make that absolutely fucking fantastic. But what happens when we have to walk out that door and face the world? I'm really scared that you're going to realize that this isn't what you wanted after all."
None of what his Guide had said in his little narrative was new ground for either of them. They'd had this same discussion many nights long distance. What was different was the fact that at some point they had swapped scripts. In the past it had always been Jim who made these arguments, now the older man needed to assume the roll of the voice of reason.
"Chief...Blair, listen to me for a minute. You know me, and what a stubborn bastard I can be, but you also know that once I make a decision about something, there is very little that can change my mind. I want this to work, I need you; not just as my best friend, not just to be my Guide, not even as my Shaman, I need you." Seeing that his words were penetrating through the younger man's fears, Jim pressed onwards. "As for what happens when we leave the loft, I've gotta admit that I'm not really comfortable with advertising that we're together for the time being. Don't get me wrong, Blair. I'm not ashamed that I'm in love with you, I'm just not ready to deal with all the shit that's going to come from everybody else, especially when you won't be here to help me pick up the pieces."
The expression on Blair's face was one of relief. "I understand. Believe me, I'm not ready to put up a billboard, yet, either. I'm sorry, I guess I just needed to know that you're in this for the long haul, man," he finished sheepishly.
"I'm right next to you, Blair. For the whole trip," Jim added with a determined smile. The doubt that he had seen earlier was gone now, allowing the sensual eyes to shine like sapphires.
Impulsively they came together for one more peck of a kiss before Blair walked towards the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. He reaching up into the cabinet to grab the filters when he yelped in pain. Looking up from the quilt he was folding, Jim asked, "What's wrong, Chief?"
Blushing straight to the roots of his long curly hair, Blair lowered a hand to adjust himself as he continued on to the kitchen. "Should've cleaned up a little last night before we fell asleep," he mumbled.
The fact was that Jim understood his Guide's uncomfortable predicament all too well as his own boxers were now somewhat painfully stuck to some very sensitive skin, but he couldn't resist teasing the younger man. "That's what you get for falling asleep on me, Sandburg."
Blair rolled his eyes at the comment as he poured the water into the coffee maker and flipped the on switch. "Oh, I'm like, so sorry," he said sarcastically. "Besides, it's your fault, anyway."
"My fault?" Jim asked incredulously.
"Who do you think exhausted me in the first place?" he asked with a twinkle in his eyes. "Can I help it if you caused my brain to go into meltdown?"
The atmosphere in the room shifted suddenly as the stray comment brought back memories of the night before. Jim had to mentally restrain himself from crossing the room and taking the younger man right there on the floor of the kitchen. The abrupt wave of desire rocked the Sentinel, giving him an idea on how to satisfy it. "Would you like to shower with me?" he asked, surprised at the huskiness in his own voice.
Unable to speak, Blair simply nodded. Extending a hand in invitation, the younger man crossed the room and clasped it. Together, Sentinel and Guide made their way towards the bathroom.
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