TIPS WHEN WEIGHING YOURSELF
TIPS FOR WEIGHING YOURSELF
EVERY OUNCE COUNTS



TIPS WHEN WEIGHING YOURSELF


1.Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner...
as well as in the morning, without clothes, before breakfast,
because it's nice to see how much weight you've lost overnight.

2.Never weigh yourself with wet hair.
When weighing, remove everything, including glasses.
In this case, blurred vision is an asset.
Don't forget the earrings, these things can weigh at least a pound.

3.Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind,
because they are always five pounds off...to your advantage.

4.Always use the toilet first.

5.Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter.

6.Don't eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you've weighed in,
completely naked, of course.

7.Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for at least half a pound of hair (hopefully).

8.Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale
(air has to weigh something, right?).

9.Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the towel rack in front of you,
slowly edge your other foot on and slowly let off of the rack.
Admittedly, this takes time, but it's worth it.
You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you'd stepped on normally.


And now for something 'REALLY SERIOUS'
Ironically called Quick Wit:

I don't like the idea that people can call you in your car.
I think there's news you shouldn't get at sixty miles per hour. "Pregnant? Whooah!"
But if we're gonna have car phones I think we should have car answering machines.
"Tom's at home right now. But as soon as he goes out, he'll get back to you."

Sent by Megan Martin


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