By Lisa R.
Chapter III
Lou slowly opened her swollen eyes, then immediately covered them with her hands to shield herself from the blinding sunlight streaming through the curtains. She heard the doorknob turn and slowly lifted her head and pulled her hands away, ready to greet her morning visitor.
The disappointment was evident on Lou's sad face. It broke Rachel's heart to see how disappointed Lou was when she walked into the room. It was obvious that she thought it would be the Kid coming to see her, coming to make things right with her.
Lou closed her eyes again, wished away the tears, and tried to ward off the evils the new day would bring. She couldn't face Rachel, Teaspoon or any of the boys after her display the night before. She was convinced they would all be talking about her confession. It was just as she'd thought the night before. It was only a nightmare, but unfortunately, it was a living nightmare!
"Do you feel up to some tea and biscuits?"
Lou only shook her head no.
"Sweetheart, you need to eat something to keep your strength up."
Knowing she never planned on leaving the comfort and safety of Rachel's guest bedroom, Lou just rolled over to face the window, rather than Rachel's pleading face. "I won't be able to hold it down, Rachel. I just feel so sick."
"I know honey. It's all the worryin', but you'll be worse off if you don't eat." Rachel would not let Lou shrink away from her. Rounding the bed, she knelt beside it and spoke quietly, yet firmly. "You will not give up on him or yourself, Louise. I won't allow it. Now you need to get some strength back so you're ready to talk when it's actually him who walks through that door. You'll do it with your head held high and your eyes wide open. You're a strong woman and you will survive this."
Lou looked at her dear friend and nodded her head. Forcing herself to sit up, she settled back against the pillows propped behind her as Rachel went to pour the tea. Clasping the warm cup between her cold hands, she sipped and tried to gather some of the strength Rachel had promised.
As Rachel took her leave to go make breakfast at the bunkhouse, Lou gave her a weak smile and promised to pull herself together and get ready to start the new day.
Alone again, Lou rose from the bed to stand beside the open window facing the stable and corral. Savoring the fresh morning breeze on her face, she tilted her head just so and squinted slightly. She was positive she could see the impressions her knees had made the previous night, in the now drying mud. Shaking her head at the memory, she looked beyond the station to the town of Rock Creek and the hills beyond the town. Where could the Kid be? Would he really come back? There was so much to say to him, so much to explain, but she'd made up her mind sometime during the endless, sleepless hours just before dawn. She would leave Rock Creek and the Pony Express. It would be best for everyone and maybe she could find someplace new where she could heal her broken soul. She'd done so once before, in a little town called Sweetwater. She knew she could do it again.
The morning meal was quiet, an unheard of occurrence in the life of the Rock Creek Pony Express Station. Every sound outside the bunkhouse caused the group to turn, in unison, towards the door. They kept expecting Kid to walk in and take his place beside them. He never showed.
"I'm going out to find him," Jimmy said to no one in particular, as he pushed his untouched plate away.
"Son, you got work to do here. We're already two riders down and I can't spare another."
"Teaspoon, I need to do this."
Jimmy Hickock was not the cold, hard man his undesirable reputation made him out to be. He was a young man filled with passion, friendship, love and loyalty. Letting Kid and Lou destroy their relationship, one he was envious of everyday of his life, was just something he would not abide by. His friends were meant for each other and he was just going to have to help them understand that.
"I respect that Jimmy. I think all of us want to help them, but right now you've got responsibilities here."
"Responsibilities! Chores! We're in the middle of a battle here. I've gotta get him and get them talkin'. One fight should not break them apart!"
Rachel stood behind Jimmy and placed her hands on his shoulders in hopes of calming him down. One hotheaded young man at a time was all she could handle. "Jimmy, Louise wants to take care of this herself. She's not talking to anyone and she's willing to wait until he comes to his senses and comes home."
"Then I gotta talk to Lou." Jimmy rose from the table to head across the yard to Rachel's house.
"Jimmy, let her be. She wants to be alone."
"Rachel, can't you see! If we let them be alone now, they'll be alone forever." The door slammed shut behind him leaving the rest of the riders to their silent meal.
Jimmy didn't even knock before entering the room. Glad she had thought to dress in the skirt and blouse Rachel left out for her, Lou turned to the door expecting to see Kid charging in to do battle. At the sight of Jimmy and not her beloved, Lou burst into a new round of tears.
Jimmy crossed the room in three quick strides and pulled Lou into a tight embrace. Stroking her hair, he rocked her and allowed her tears to flow freely. When she was spent, he sat her back down in the rocker by the window and knelt beside her. "Ah, sweet Lou. For someone so tiny, you sure cause a whole lotta trouble."
Lou nodded knowingly. Letting her chin fall, she gave a weary sigh. "I really messed up this time, Jimmy."
Jimmy lifted her chin so he could look her in the eyes. Lou meant the world to him. She was as much a best friend to him as the Kid was and he would do anything for her. "I'm gonna find him for you, Lou. I'll make him come to his senses."
"There's no reason to, Jimmy. I deceived him. I never told him and now it's just all blown up around me. I can't blame him anymore, it's takin' too much out of me. "
"Lou, I saw the look in your eyes when you turned around and thought I was the Kid. Those were not the eyes of a woman giving up on love. Let me do this for you, Lou. Let me help you."
Her chin began to quiver and her eyes welled with fresh tears as she hugged him. "You are a good man Jimmy Hickock and an even better friend. We're lucky to have you fighting for us, but it's not necessary. I made up my mind. I'm leaving Rock Creek and the Express."
"No, Lou!" Jimmy was stunned by her confession. "What do you want to go and do that for? Once you and the Kid talk and work this out, you'll have a weddin' to finish getting ready for."
"He doesn't want to hear what I have say. He made that clear last night. I don't think he's coming back Jimmy and I can't be here without him." Lou gave in and let the tears spill down her cheeks.
Wiping away her tears, Jimmy held her soft face in his large hands. Placing a kiss on her brow, he made her promise not to leave before he got back. Standing in the doorway he swore to her again, "I will find him, Lou. I promise. This will all work out."
As the door closed behind him Lou whispered their usual farewell, "Ride Safe Jimmy".
Jimmy spent the better part of the day looking in Rock Creek and the surrounding areas for the Kid. With no luck to speak of, he was beginning to think he would have to go back to the station empty-handed. Searching in town, as well as the trails, the swimming hole and the creek he turned up nothing. He even checked the saloon. Thankfully, it was a fruitless search. Having been on the receiving end of Kid's temper when he was sober, more times than he dared to remember, the thought of facing him drunk was not an idea he relished.
Ready to give up and turn for home, Jimmy remembered a clearing, just west of town, where Lou once said she and the Kid often went to spend time alone. Turning his horse he prayed this would be his last stop for the day.
Kid sat on a log, so tired and so deep in thought he never heard or saw Jimmy until he was seated beside him. Without looking away from the photograph he held in his hand, he spoke. "I didn't think anyone would come looking for me. I figured with the way I acted, everyone would take Lou's side."
"Kid, there's no sides to choose between. It's just about us gettin' you and Lou back together. Besides, she won't even talk to us and tell us what's going on. She's hurtin' real bad."
"She is! I'm the one who got hurt here! I'm the one who was lied to!"
"I know you're angry, but there's gotta be a good reason why she didn't tell you. It's not like Lou to keep such a big secret. Why don't you come home with me and talk to her?"
"I ain't got nothing to say to her!"
"Well how about just listening then. Let her tell you about it. Obviously she felt it was important enough for her to need to tell you before the wedding."
"Guilt. That's all it was."
"Kid, now you don't believe that's the only reason she wanted to tell you. She loves you and you love her and when two people love each other as much as you both do, they share everything, including the bad stuff and that's what she was tryin' to do last night."
Kid carefully fingered the photograph and sighed. "I just can't come back right now, Jimmy. I don't know how I feel about all this."
Jimmy looked over at the picture the Kid wouldn't stop staring at. Lou's laughing image peered back at him. He recognized it as the photograph they'd had taken at the fair in Kansas City. With only enough money to get one portrait done, they'd torn it in half with each getting the other's picture. Kid carried his half with him always and Lou had her half, with Kid's smiling face, tucked into her saddlebag. "I'd say from the way you're about to burn a hole in that picture with your eyes, that you feel the same as she does. Confused, but still in love." Jimmy placed his hand out for Kid to pass him the picture. Admiring Lou's happy face and carefree manner he handed it back. "She'll make a beautiful bride, Kid."
"How can we get married now? Where's this other husband?"
"Why don't you ask her? I can't tell you nothin', because she won't even talk to Rachel. She's waiting to tell you first."
Kid stood and started to pace. "I was pretty nasty to her last night. I didn't mean most of what I said, but this just isn't sitting right. I thought I knew everything about her and then she drops this on me. What was I supposed to do?"
"Kid, I don't blame you for stormin' off last night. Hell, can't say I wouldn't have done the same, but I will blame you if you don't go back to her. You two have something that only comes along once in your life. You have to grab it, like a shooting star plucked out of the sky. You have to hold it, treat it special. Just come home and let her explain."
"Jimmy, I wish I could, but I need more time to think. I need to cool down."
Jimmy rose from his seat and walked to his horse. Mounting up, he looked back at the Kid, who was still pacing the clearing. Hoping to scare him into action, he shared Lou's plans with him. "She's leaving."
Kid turned to him, shock and desperation spread across his face. "What? When?"
"She said she couldn't stay here without you. She's ridin' out tomorrow mornin'."
Kid's eyes fell to the ground and he whispered, "Wish her well for me."
"What did you say?"
Looking his best friend straight in the face this time, he repeated himself. "I said, wish her well for me."
Jimmy shook his head in disgust. "You're not the man I thought you were, Kid. The man I thought I knew would mount up and ride home with me. He'd take the woman he proclaimed to love and listen to her. He'd hold her hand, kiss her, fight for her, but he wouldn't let her go. You'll regret this for the rest of your life."
Kid couldn't respond and just stood and watched as Jimmy headed for home. He knew his friend was right, but he couldn't make his body move. He knew Lou would have a good reason for not telling him, but he was hurt that she didn't trust him enough to tell him sooner. God he loved her! He still wanted to marry her, have babies with her, grow old with her, but he just couldn't face her right now. The things he'd said or actually, not said last night. He pictured her devastated face after he practically called her a tramp and her limp body kneeling in the mud as he rode away. How could he ever apologize for his words and actions?
Returning to the log, he resigned himself to another night on the hard packed earth. Maybe this would be the best for them, a little break. However, in his heart, he wasn't convinced. He knew he would probably never see her again and he didn't know how he would survive.
Lou watched Jimmy ride up to the main house alone. Letting the curtain fall closed she continued to sit by the window in the dimly lit room. Her eyes were dry, but her heart beat fast and her hands were shaking as she waited for him.
When Jimmy opened the door she didn't even turn and he knew that she saw him return alone. "I'm sorry, Lou."
"That's okay Jimmy, you did your best. The way he rode out of here, he's probably half-way to Sacramento by now."
Jimmy thought about not telling her he'd found the Kid. He thought about letting her think he'd just ridden away, but she deserved the truth. "Actually, I found him in the little clearing you told me about. He just wasn't ready to come home yet."
Lou nodded her head in understanding and stood to face him. "I didn't expect him to come home, Jimmy. I hoped he would, but I wasn't expectin' him to."
"Yeah Lou, but I was and I told him as much. He's just being a stubborn fool and I won't stand for it."
"I appreciate what you're trying to do, but this is just bigger than all of us. Love can only overcome so much."
Jimmy just looked at her in the dim light and softened his tone before speaking. "Lou, were you really married before?"
"Yes, Jimmy. It was a long time ago."
"Are you in trouble now? I mean are you running from something or someone?"
"No."
"Lou, why won't you talk to me? We always talk. If I knew what was going on I could help you. I could make the Kid understand!"
Lou dropped her own voice and let her head hang again. "I wish I could talk to you, I truly do, but I need to tell Kid first. It's a hard tale to tell and the least I owe him is the right to hear it first and from me."
"You're and amazing woman, Louise McCloud. We all know that. No matter what went on before you came to us. If you go, I'll miss you more than I can say."
She opened her arms to the often-misunderstood man. They held onto each other for what seemed an eternity. Lou knew this was his goodbye. She knew he wouldn't be around, come morning, to see her off. Hearing Jimmy's soft crying she let her own tears fall. She cried not only for the loss of the Kid, but also for the loss of the friendship she shared with this man who also loved her.
They separated and Lou reached up to wipe away his tears as he had done earlier for her. She let them dry on her fingertips knowing she may be the only woman to ever see James Butler Hickok cry.
"Will you write me, tell me where you are?" Although Lou nodded her head, Jimmy knew she wouldn't. He could sense that she would shut off this part of her life, just as she'd shut off her life before them.
"Will you tell everyone for me at supper? Tell them I'll be over in the morning to say goodbye." She hated to make him do her dirty work, but she didn't feel up having them try and stop her.
"Aw Lou, don't go."
"Jimmy, it'll be too hard. If I stay, I'll be unhappy. Besides, what will I do if I don't ride? Eventually, I'll just be a good memory to you, someone you'll remember fondly."
"I could kill the Kid for this!"
"You'll do no such thing Jimmy Hickok! You know just as well as I do that if it were you or me, we'd have done the same thing. We're all just surprised because it's the Kid. If he comes back here, you just let him be. Promise me, okay?"
Shaking his head he swore. "You love him a lot don't you?"
"More than I ever thought I could love someone."
Jimmy bent his head and gave Lou a soft, sweet kiss on the lips and as he turned to go he raised his hand in a wave. "You ride safe and know we're always here for you. You're what makes this family whole."
As the door closed behind him, Lou fell to the bed and crawled beneath the covers, fully dressed. Burying her head under the pillows, she felt exhausted. If saying goodbye to Jimmy was this hard, she didn't know if she would be able to ride away from the rest of her family in the morning.
To Be Continued...Chapter Four
Copyright 1998-This work is not to be reproduced without the permission of the author
The Way Station
Campfire Tales
