A Short Story
By Hanny
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Lou ran down the stairs and outside of the house crying, holding her skirt up in one hand, the other covering her face unsuccessfully.
Noah, Ike and Mary stood in their place unable to move. Tears started a course down Mary's face. Her husband gathered her into his arms.
Noah looked at them. "I'd better go get James." He said, his voice shaking.
He went out of the house, taking a deep breath. This is going to be hard, he thought. His oldest brother was very close to his father. On the way to the barn, were he knew he'd find James, sitting in Katy's stall, his eyes searched the property for his mother, but he couldn't find her.
"James." He called as entered the darkened barn.
James cleared his throat as he heard his younger brother call him. "I'm here".
Noah opened the door of the stall and stood there, leaning on the doorframe.
"He's dead, isn't he?" James asked.
In the dim light from outside Noah couldn't see exactly how red and swollen his brother's eyes were. Noah nodded and almost choked as he whispered. "Yes."
"Maybe it's better that way." James said, still not moving out from his hiding place.
"Yes." Noah whispered.
"I mean…" James started again, his voice shaking with tears. "He suffered so much…"
A sob escaped Noah's lips at the mention of his father's slow death.
"Oh God." James cried suddenly after a few seconds of silence. "I'm gonna miss him so much." His body was shaking with loud sobs.
Noah sank to the ground, still at the doorframe, and started crying too.
"Ma, we're home." Jesse called as he entered the house, William and Rachel on his heals. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw his older sister cradled in her husband's hug, the both of them red eyed.
"Where's ma?" he asked hesitantly.
Mary untangled herself from her husband and walked over to her youngest siblings. "Well…" she started, not sure how to tell them. "Dad… he's…"
"Dead!" Jesse blurted out, the anger rising in his voice. "Where's ma?" he asked again.
Rachel started crying and ran into Ike's awaiting arms. William stood dumbly next to Jesse, staring at Mary.
"Honey…" Mary tried, reaching her hand to caress Jesse teary face, but he pushed her hand away and ran upstairs.
"Where are you going?" Mary called after him, but he didn't answer her. She turned to look at her husband who was holding her sister. He nodded his head and she went upstairs, looking for her brother.
She found him sitting next to their father, holding his hand and begging him to wake up. New tears started in her eyes.
Lou sat by the fresh grave hours after the ceremony ended and all the people returned to their homes. Her six kids also left, James and Mary hurrying them away, understanding her need to be alone with her husband.
She smiled bitterly through the tears as a thought run through her mind. I thought I lived for eighteen years before I met you, but my life only truly begun with you. A sob escaped her lips as she saw his blue eyes in her mind. Her thoughts ran to the day she first met him, shy and lean, almost twenty-six years ago. How cool he was in comparison to Jimmy or Cody…
The thought of her friends made her smile to the grave. At least you're in a good company. Tell Teaspoon, Jimmy, Noah and Ike that they are always on my mind.
She remembered her wedding day. And Night… Nine months later her oldest son, James, was born. Kid was so happy with him, like a child with a new toy. He used to spend hours with him, talking to him reading him stories, and even singing to him. You had a great voice, she told him in her mind.
After the Express was over, they settled in Rock Creek, in a little place they bought, not far from the old station, where Rachel still lived. They were welcome to stay, but with the news of the coming baby, they decided to find a place of their own. Buck returned to his Kiowa people, but kept in touch, Cody was off and on with the army and Jimmy went to look for his destiny, though he wrote them frequently. Teaspoon stayed at the station and kept to his marshalling and Rachel moved west to California. All in all, they've managed to escape the war, and keep some sort of a family structure.
They lived out of a horse trade business they started and small odd jobs Kid did for Teaspoon as his deputy. Life was good for the young couple and their son.
When James was three years old, his parents gave him a brother, Noah. While James was his father's son, Noah was certainly hers. She spent every minute she got with him, feeding him or simply watching him.
Mary was born two years later and brought light into the family. While James took after his father and Noah after Lou, with blue eyes and straight dark-brown hair, little Mary was a combination of the two.
Lou longed for a girl she could dress and comb her hair, after having a house full of boys. Kid pampered her, like no kid has ever been pampered before, and the boys adored her and her ability to laugh aloud and to smile constantly, even without any visible reason.
Jesse was born four years later, during one very cold night. Louise and Kid named him after a boy they once knew; whom they wished had stayed young and naive.
William was born three years after Jesse, and was named after one of Kid and Lou's 'brother's.
And finally, Rachel. She was born earlier than expected, after a very hard and dangerous pregnancy. She smiled as she remembered Kid watching over her and every move she'd made. It annoyed her and yet felt so comforting.
And now he was dead. She reached out a hand to caress the fresh grave. Her husband was lying under all the dry ground and the flowers.
Her husband. How could she live without him?
And yet she could not stop thinking that this was for the best. He suffered a slow and painful dying.
Only a week before they found out about his illness, they celebrated their daughter's wedding to Buck's son, Ike.
Buck had been married and his wife gave him two sons before she passed away only seven years after they'd gotten married.
As Buck visited his white family a lot, his eldest son, Ike, and Mary got closer and closer, until a few months after her seventeenth birthday she announced her pregnancy to her mother.
Kid, Lou and Buck weren't too happy for their kids' condition, but as they saw the love the young couple shared, they agreed to let them be married.
Mary and Ike had two wedding ceremonies. A white one, and an Indian one. They spent their honeymoon in St. Jo. Everyone agreed that since Mary was expecting, it would be best if she stayed close to her mother in Rock Creek, and so the young couple got a room at the main house, until a new house was built.
When Mary and Ike came back from their honeymoon, they found Lou and the doctor talking in the kitchen. Their voices were low and they stopped their conversation as Mary and Ike entered the kitchen.
"What's goin' on?" Mary asked.
As Lou turned to her, she got a look at her red eyes. "Honey…" she started.
"Has something happened to Jesse?" Jesse always found himself in this kind of trouble or another.
Lou shook her head. "No, honey." She looked at the doctor for encouragement. "It's dad."
Mary sat herself on a chair by the table, her husband holding her shoulders. She looked at the doctor. "What?" she asked. "It can't be that bad…"
"I'm afraid it is, sweetheart." The doctor said. "Your father is very sick."
"What are you talking about?" Mary could not believe what she was hearing. "Ma, tell him! Dad is as health is ever. Right, ma? Tell him!"
Lou wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up. She offered her hand to her daughter and led her upstairs to the bedroom she shared with the Kid for the past 23 years. As she opened the door, she motioned Mary to keep quiet.
Kid lay on the large bed, the covers pulled up to his neck.
"James and Noah found him this morning laying unconscious in the dirt behind the barn. The doctor said he is very sick, that he…" she could not finish the sentence and ran away from the room.
Mary sat herself on the bed next to her father and, taking a dampened cloth from the table next to the bed, started caressing his forehead.
After a few minutes Kid opened his eyes. "Hi." He smiled sadly at her.
"Hi." She said, almost choking on it.
"How was your honeymoon?"
Mary couldn't find her voice so she just nodded.
"How are you feeling?" he asked motioning toward her abdomen.
"I'm okay." She finally managed. "You…"
"Oh, you know your mother - making a fuss over nothing…"
"Dad… the doctor said…"
"The doctor knows nothing. Did you see how young he is? How much can he know, right?"
Mary smiled and nodded, a lone tear falling from her eye.
"Shush, now. Don't cry. Everything will be fine. You'll see." Kid wiped the tear with the back of his hand.
Mary fell onto his chest sobbing.
Kid hugged her as tight as he could. "Honey, you've got to be strong. For your younger brothers and sister and for your mother. Don't let her drown in despair."
Mary untangled herself from her father's embrace and looked down at his face. "There will be no despair, daddy. They will see. In a few days you'll be as good as new."
Kid nodded his head and smiled tiredly.
"I'll let you sleep now. I'll see you at dinner." Mary kissed his forehead and left the room.
She went downstairs. The doctor was still there, now talking with Ike. She approached them and hugged her husband tightly. He hugged her back.
"Mary, darling…" Ike started, looking at the doctor for confirmation. "The doctor here said that your father is…"
"Sick." She cut him mid-sentence. "I know. Mom told me."
"She told you how serious it is?" the doctor asked. He saw how Louise reacted for the news, and he wanted to make sure there was another woman in the place to take care of the sick man upstairs.
Mary shook her head.
"Well, I'm afraid it's very very serious." The doctor started.
Ike took her hand and led her to the couch. He already knew what the doctor was about to say, and in her condition, he thought it would be best if she was at least seated.
"I'm sorry…" the doctor started again. "But your father doesn't have long to live."
Mary gasped in surprise. She knew he was sick. Very sick. But she didn't know quite how bad it really was. "How… how long?" she asked, looking at her hands in her lap, unable to meet the doctor's gaze.
The doctor looked at Ike, asking quietly if he should tell her the whole truth. Ike nodded and held her tighter.
"About half a year. Maybe a bit more. But even that is only if he'd rest. No work what's so ever."
Mary looked at the doctor amazed, tears falling freely from her eyes.
"If you want I can ask another doctor to check on him. I hope I am wrong, but…"
"We'll see what Lou says." Ike said, standing up. The doctor also stood and Ike went with him to the door.
"I really do hope I'm wrong." The doctor said. "For the sake of his family."
Ike nodded and shook his hand. "Thank you doctor."
"I'm sorry." The doctor said and left.
Ike closed the door and went back to his wife. He embraced her as she sobbed. "You heard the doctor…" he started in an attempt to encourage her. "He might be wrong."
"He's not." She said and let all her barriers down, sobbing uncontrollably against his chest.
Lou looked up to the sky. Black clouds were nearing Rock Creek. It seems everything cried for her husband, even the sky. She smiled. You deserve that, Kid. She thought. You deserve all this attention. You deserve the heavens weep for you. She started crying again. Oh, Kid, what am I going to do without you?
The next weeks that came after they discovered Kid's illness were trying for everyone of the McCloud family. Ike went to look for his father, figuring he would want to help his friends and perhaps say good-bye to another one of his best friends.
James and Noah tried to keep up with the business. Being used to Kid taking care of everything, it was hard for the two young men to take over the great man, who was now sleeping most of the day, and fighting with their mother most of his waking hours, as Lou insisted on him staying in bed.
He used to be up and working 15-17 hours a day, sometimes even more, and now his wife insisted that he'd stay in bed.
"She thinks she's protecting me." He told James in one of their many conversations. "But she isn't. She treats me like I'm already dead."
James tried to confront his mother about this, but she wouldn't listen. "I wouldn't have him dying sooner than he has too." She stated, not budging from her feelings.
"Mom…" he tried again.
"No" she cut him off. "I wouldn't hear about this. You hear me?"
That night the whole house shook of Lou's shouts. "You know you'll die, Kid! Why do you keep arguing with me about it?"
"Lou", he answered her. "If I'm not working or at least being able to move around a bit, it doesn't really matter that I'm still alive…"
"What are you saying, Kid?" she asked dreading his answer.
"Come here, Lou" he pulled her closer and took her hands in his, trying to ease her mind a bit. "I'm not saying I want to die, Lou. God knows how much I am afraid of the thought that I won't be able to hold you… or the kids, but Lou," he looked deeply into her eyes before he continued. "You don't let me do that now. And I am still alive. I am still here. But you treat me like I'm some kind of a porcelain doll and you won't let anyone come near me."
She started to protest and he put his finger on her lips to shush her. "Lou, I want to use the rest of the time I have with my family. With you…"
Tears started running down her cheeks and he kissed them away. "I want to make love to you." He whispered.
She looked at him doubtfully. "Kid…"
He kissed her mouth, shutting her up. "Don't talk, Lou…" he whispered between kisses.
Finally, she returned the kiss. Kid's lips left hers and started on her neck. She moaned in delight and started unbutton his pajamas' shirt.
From that day on, Lou let him work for a few hours each day. Small chores like feeding the chickens or dusting. He used to protest, saying these were women's chores, but since she wouldn't let him do anything else, he stick to that.
Lou sat with him every evening watching the sun set. She knew they didn't have much time left and she planed to spend the most of it with him.
But Kid strength slowly died out and soon he could barely walk by himself. He hated having to lean on his wife and sons, but that was the only choice he had if he wanted to sit with his family to dinner, or just be with them.
Buck came right away when his son told him about Kid's health and stayed to help them with the horses. He and Kid used to spend hours and hours talking. Kid asked Buck to make sure Lou would be all right and that she won't be left alone. Buck promised to take care of the family.
"Ma…" Mary called softly as she neared the grave. "Maybe it's time to come home."
Lou looked at the sky again, it was growing dark and soon it will be night and she alone in her thoughts in the big bed she used to share with Kid.
She looked at her daughter, who was now a mother herself, and the sleeping baby-girl in her arms. "I can't." she said. "Not yet. He's still here."
Mary looked at her mother. "Ma, he doesn't feel any pain now." She tried to encourage her.
Lou nodded. "I know." She returned her look toward the grave. "But still…" she looked at her daughter. "We loved each other very much, Mary. There was never anyone else for us. From our first kiss I knew I will spend the rest of my life with him, but I was wrong. We only spent the rest of his life together." New tears were rolling down her face. "I know I have to keep going for the kids, but I don't know if I want to."
"Ma, what are you saying?" Mary asked dreadfully.
"Don't worry, honey. I won't do anything stupid. Your father will never forgive me if I do… I'm just saying how I feel. I am sorry if I scared you…"
Mary moved closer to her mother and kneeled down as much as she could with the baby in her arms. "Ma, we're here to help you. We all love you very much. We are going to miss dad, but we want to believe that we still have you at least…"
Lou smiled through her tears. "You still have me. I promise."
Mary kissed her mother's cheek. "I love you, mama."
"I love you too, sweetheart."
Mary stood up. "Come on ma, we'd better go back. It'll rain soon, and I've fixed us something to eat."
"Just a little longer." Lou begged.
"All right. I'll see you in the house."
"Would you leave her with me?" Lou asked referring to her granddaughter.
"Sure." Mary put her daughter in her mother's arms. "She needs to eat soon, though." She said, hoping that will bring her mother back in.
"I won't be long." Lou promised and Mary turned and left.
Lou looked down at her granddaughter, who was named after her. "You're so beautiful!" she told the three months old Louise. "Your grandfather wanted so much to see you."
Lou's finger traced the baby's face, just like Kid used to do…
Kid's sight started to fade quickly just a couple of weeks before his first granddaughter was born. He anticipated her so much and was heart-broken at the thought that he won't even be able to see her. For the few months that she was born, they spent most of her and his awakening hours together. He held her in his arms and traced his fingers over her face, learning her features. He knew she was beautiful.
Kid never knew that Lou used to sit quietly on the edge of the bed, looking at the both of them and listening to the stories Kid told Louise, tears running freely down her cheeks.
Every night Kid and Lou held each other in their arms. Kid kept asking her to forgive him for leaving her; Lou just kissed him and held him tighter. They talked for hours, about their childhood, their friends, dead and alive, their love, their kids.
Louise started to howl and Lou realised how dark and cold it already was.
"Only a couple more minutes." She told the baby in her lap and covered her with her jacket.
The last two days of his life Kid was unconscious. His kids walked in and out his room, sitting with him for awhile, telling him once again how much they loved him. Lou sat with him, not allowing herself to even sleep, afraid he would wake up and she'd miss it. She caressed his body and told him repeatedly how much she loved him. "I'll never forget you, my love." She promised.
"I love you, Kid." She said again aloud, standing by the fresh grave.
She smiled as her granddaughter made a baby's sound. "You loved him too, didn't you?" she asked the baby.
"Kid, I miss you terribly already. I don't know how I'd be able to keep on without you. But I will try, I promise you that." She hugged Louise closer to her body. "Good bye, Kid." She said for the final time. "I love you."
She turned and walked away from the grave, her head high and her back straight. She knew she had the best time of her life with her husband and that she will have their love and the memories of their lives together forever in her heart and in her mind. She now had to be strong for her family. She had six kids and, now, a granddaughter. She will make sure they will never forget the great man that loved them so much. She will make sure to tell their future grandkids about him. She will make sure their offsprings will know of the man that started this dynasty.
Copyright 1998-This work is not to be reproduced without the permission of the author
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