If murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

A petshop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said "Parrot repeats everything it hears". Davey bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot. How can this be?
The parrot was deaf.

I am the owner of a pet store. If I put in one canary per cage, I have one bird too many. If I put in two canaries per cage, I have one cage too many. How many cages and canaries do I have?
have 3 cages and 4 canaries.

I buried a stone in the ground, and it grew and produced fruit. How is this possible?
The seed of a cherry is called a stone.

What animal has no wings, but yet will fly?
A caterpillar has no wings, but will fly when it matures and becomes a butterfly.

There are 2 ducks in front of 2 other ducks. There are 2 ducks behind 2 other ducks. There are 2 ducks beside 2 other ducks. How many ducks are there?
4

Where on Earth do the winds always blow from the South?
The North Pole.

Which bird does not belong in this group? finch, gull, eagle, ostrich, sparrow.
The Ostrich. It's the only bird that doesn't fly

You heard me before, Yet you hear me again. Then I die, 'Til you call me again What am I?
An Echo.

I come in darkness, but fill the mind with light. I bring enlightenment to some, while gripping others in the hand of fear. With me it can be a journey of inexplicable joy and sorrow. What I will show you will often be unreachable. Journey with me and what you see may haunt you. Journey with me and you may never want to return home. Journey with me and you will never know when it will end. What am I?
Your Dreams

There is a frog, dead in the middle of an island. If he swims north, the distance to the mainland is 2 metres. If he swims south, the distance to the mainland is 3 metres. If he swims east or west, the distance is 4 metres. Which way does he swim?
He doesn't swim at all, he is dead.

What tree is most warmly clad?
A Fir tree.

Which would see most clearly in total darkness? A bat, a tiger, or an owl.
None. In total darkness it is impossible to see anything.

In the back yard there is a hollow stump that contains six ears of corn. If a healthy squirrel carries out only three ears each day, how many days will it take to empty the stump.
Six. Each day the squirrel will carry out the two ears on his head plus one ear of corn.

If three cats catch three mice in three minutes, how many cats would be needed to catch 100 mice in 100 minutes?
The same three cats would do. Since these three cats are averaging one mouse per minute, given 100 minutes, the cats could catch 100 mice.

A black dog stands in the middle of an intersecton in a town painted black. None of the street lights are working due to a power failure caused by a storm. A car with two broken headlights drives towards the dog but turns in time to avoid hitting him. How could the driver have seen the dog in time?
It was daylight.

I'm as small as an ant, as big as a whale. I'll approach like a breeeze, but can come like a gale. By some I get hit, but all have shown fear. I'll dance to the music, though I can't hear. Of names I have many, of names I have one. I'm as slow as a snail, but from me you can't run. What am I?
A shadow.

What has six legs, two heads, four ears, two hands, but walks on four feet?
A horse and rider.

This thing all things devours, birds, beasts, trees, flowers; gnaws iron, bites steel; grinds hard stone to meal, slays king, ruins town, and beats high mountains down. What is it?
Time.

I sleep by day, I fly by night. I have no feathers to aid my flight. What am I?
A bat

Face with a tree, skin like the sea. A great beast I am, yet vermin frightens me. What am I?
An Elephant.

A warrior amongst the flowers, he bears a thrusting sword. He uses it when'er he must to defend his golden hoard. What is he?
A Bee.

He's a boastful, puffed-up fellow, wearing spurs; eyes gleaming yellow. As he proudly struts about, he's in charge, there is no doubt. What is he?
A Rooster.

I reach for the sky, but clutch to the ground; sometimes I leave, but I am always around. What am I?
A Tree.

A little house full of meat, no door to go in and eat. What am I?
A Nut.

I move without wings, between silken strings, I leave as you find, my substance behind. What am I?
A Spider.

White bird, featherless, flyin' out o' paradise, flyin' over sea and land, dyin' in my hand. What is it?
A Snowflake.

Only one color, but not one size; stuck to the ground, yet easily flies. Present in sun, but not in rain; doing no harm, and feeling no pain. What is it?
A Shadow.

First you see me in the grass dressed in yellow gay; next I am in dainty white, then I fly away. What am I?
A Dandelion.

From house to house I go, sometimes narrow, sometimes wide. And whether there's rain or snow I always stay outside. What am I?
A Path.

What has roots that nobody sees, and is taller than trees. Up, up it goes, and yet it never grows. What is it?
A Mountain.

Violet, indigo, blue and green, yellow, orange and red; these are the colors you have seen after the storm has fled. What am I?
A Rainbow.

In spring I am gay in handsome array; in summer more clothing I wear; when colder it grows I fling off my clothes; and in winter quite naked appear. What am I?
A Tree.

A very pretty thing am I, fluttering in the pale-blue sky. Delicate, fragile on the wing, indeed I am a pretty thing. What am I?
A Butterfly.

This old one runs forever, but never moves at all. He has not lungs nor throat, but still a mighty roaring call. What is it?
A Waterfall.

I pass before the sun, yet make no shadow. What am I?
The Wind.

Never resting, never still. Moving silently from hill to hill. It does not walk, run or trot, All is cool where it is not. What is it?
The Sunshine.

How far can a dog run into the woods?
Halfway, any farther and he would be running out.

What can run but never walks, Has a mouth but never talks, Has a bed but never sleeps?
A River.