2)  There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to
look. For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that
wrinkles don't hurt.

3)  One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day,
someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

4)  Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.

5)  The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant
atmosphere; and let the air out of their tires.

6)  Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

7)  Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

8)  Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.

9)  Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

10)  My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.

11)  If you can remain clam, you just don't have all the facts.

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GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1)  Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

2)  Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

3)  Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

4)  You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes
and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

5)  Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They
would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.

6)  It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody
bothers to ask you the questions.

7)  Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

8)  The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by
then your body and your fat are really good friends.

9)  Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

10)  It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips.

11)  Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.