20th June An eyewitness has come forward with more news on Alex's disapearance. It appears that he may be in Mexico. Whilst searching the rubble of Alex's Palace we came across this map:
Covered in his handwriting It seems to state Alex's intentions quite clearly: Capture Mexico with crack ground troops of the DSPand build pits all over the rich coal seams of Mexico. Plans for a Palace are also detailed. The full details are sketchy at the moment, but it appears to engulf all of Mexico City! Also the map seems to indicate some form of an attack on America! We will have to wait to see what events will occur with Alex's entry into Mexico!
14th June It has been ten days since the last contact with 'Alex', but we at the website still believe he is alive!
4th June Following the ground breaking news that Alex may still be alive, the Dorkshire Web Site has received a confused and garbled message on the answer phone. The person making the call claimed to be Alex and spoke in a strong Rotherham accent, but doubt must be cast on the authenticity of the source. The mesage:
Hello, hello, I hate answer machines...This is Alex...I am still alive. Graham did die in the uprising, I killed him!... [unitelligable noise] The photos that you put on the page are true. My friend took them. He's dead now, of course....[unintelligable noise]I am coming back to claim the Dorkshire crown...[more noise]. I will rule again, as in the days of yore, with an Iron fist, DO YOU HEAR ME! WITH AN IRON FIST! Oh, the pips are going...The call was made at about 3.34am sunday morning, from what sounded like a public call box, due to the background noise. Is this really the voice of Alex? Did he really kill Graham? Will the true leader of Dorkshire return? We will let you know of any more ground breaking news items!
1st June We may have some news on the whereabouts of Alex. We have aquired two pictures of the former dictator. These photographs may give us some clue as to what happened to the leader after the fall of Dorkshire. As reported below, Alex and Graham where both feared to be dead after a bloody coup by the Dorks in the Wetherby pit. The fighting was contained and the Dork Press Release Agency published photographs of Alex as a corpse. It has know been discovered that he managed to get away in the confusion and has appeared in at least two places since. The first picture of Alex shows the towering giant of a man over the city of New York.
It is believed that Alex left Dorkshire and somehow got to America and was elected as the cities Mayor, due to his previous political escapades. During this time Alex grew to a vast size and towered over the city for days at a time. The next picture was reportedly taken by a tourist in a small Village in Japan.
It seems as though Alex was posing as Japanese for a period of time and some say he even worked on an archaeological site in Japan. It appears that Alex is alive and well and still out there, we at the Dorkshire website urge him to return to Dorkshire and take over the reigns of Power once again.
16th January
A fitting end for a great dictator. At least it wasn't one of the all time enemies of the Dorkshire state which destroyed the dictators! The Dorkshire state has since collapsed into utter chaos with several parties trying to seize power. Several small splinter srtaes have begun to form in the shape of the Peoples' Front of Maltby (PFB), Wetherby Popular Front (WPF) and the Castleton's Army of Liberation (CAL). It is unsure what will happen to this website due to the restless nature of Dorkshire at the moment, but it shall remain as a memorial to the greatest Dictators this planet has ever seen!
10th January Dorkshire has formally declared war on Antarctica, as we speak troops are being shipped over to the tundra waste to attack the Antarctic Cult's stronghold. Go Dorks!
15th December Due to popular demand, the front page at the Dorkshire website has been changed.
12th December We have a big break in the war against Max Graves today. The Associated Pluraesian Press have released this information:
Pluraesian Pathfinders hit a small compound several kilometers outside Rotherham, aided by members of PIS (Pluraesian Intelligence Service) Which contained a MR. M owned communications center, and armory manned by several MR. M soldiers, possibly including Max Graves. There is that possibility because one body couldn't be identified because of corrosive hydralic liquid from the blast door that desroyed most of the body, however it matched body size and shape of Max Graves when recorded by Pathfinders.
This shows the damage that the Dorkshire allies can cause when messed around with! If only they would create a website, so we could all learn something about them!
11th December A tube of superglue, a bottle of sprigs, a little cat's gaze and a handful of sprigs, these are some of my favourite things.
9th December Now that peace has broken out, there are more rumblings in the Dorkshire underground. Graham has been spotted shuffling around with a busy expresion on his face. Alex helped to organise a party for the Brave warriors of Burton, which went down very well indeed!
7th December The troops that took part in the assault on Burton have been brought back to Dorkshire and are put to work back down the pit were they belong! Well done brave boys!
5th December The Leadership have implemented the first tax on beer imported from the Burton Breweries. The tax is in order to pay for the Leadership's vast spending budget over the next year. The tax will extend to all Dorks except those in the Leadership. A new law was implemented today stating that all Dorks may not drink water and must only drink Bass beer to quench their thirst, any Dork found drinking water will be put to death.
3rd December The Day Care Centre has fallen! Victory is ours, Burton is held by Dork detatchments. The leadership have proposed a day off in celebration of this monumental victory! This day off only extends to the Dorks not working down the pit, however, as we cannot allow precious working hours to be lost. The leadership have named today 'Burton Day' in honour of the fighting, and plan to have a street party to celebrate. A victory parade will also take place as will a fly past by Dorkshire's fleet of Flying Whales!
2nd December The war in Burton is drawing to a close, the entire Burton defence force has been destroyed, all that is left to do is to take out the opposition that have ensconsed themselves in the Daycare centre attatched to the Leisure Centre.
1st December Three of the main Breweries in Burton are now fully controlled by Dorkshire forces. Advances are met with little or no restistance from Burtonian Defence forces. There back is broken, as is their will to fight on!
30th November The Burton Front has been stabilised by the Dorkshire forces. A pocket of resistance was cut off and destroyed in a quick hit manouvre by the 45th Regiment. It won't be long before the entire town is in Dork Hands!
29th November This site has had a new index created, find it at the bottom of the main index page. It is to help you navigate around all the pages on this site.
In the War against Burton Shobnall was retaken by Burton commandos at midnight last night. a swift counterattack by the Dorkshire 21st Regiment managed to wipe out all resistance. The area is now secure from all enemy activity.
More images from the Burton attack can be found here
Also we have news that Plureasian Contingent has hit Burton in a bid to help Dorkshire, we have recieved this news from them:
News! Pluraesian Pathfinders Hit Burton Mayor's home!!! 2000hrs 11/29/00 Pluraesian Pathfinders hit the Home of the Mayor of Burton in a perfectly executed HALO insertion.
The Pathfinder team attatched C4 explosives around the foundations of the building which was completly totaled
The mangles bodies found in the rubble were barely identifiable, but DNA samples extracted from the corpes confirmed the Mayor, his quadraplegic wife and his 11 children, ranging in age from 4 to 11, and one of Mr. M's Field Marshals, who was attempting to negotiate defence of the city. 1600hrs Field Marshal Ohjay was shot down over Burton in his personal bomber, but was rescued by a Dork regiment.
1603hrs A AC special forces unit truck- bombed a Burtonian bunker. Captain Jeremey Vaughn was killed in the explosion. The remainder of the unit fended off the survivors of the 500 Burtonian Infantry stationed at the bunker. The unit suffered 80 percent losses and the remainder fell back to friendly lines.
Also in other news, George W. Bush, Future President of the USA and Arcsoc has pledged his support of Dorkshire! Thank You George! You won't be mistaken with Dorkshire!
28th November The latest news from the front indicates that a Dork battalion have captured the area of Burton called Shobnall. A heroic attack made by the Battalion in the form of a frontal charge took the place with many casualties. We at the Dorkshire Website say "Let the War continue!" We can only do this by the Dorks sending in their much needed iron objects for melting down. Please send any metal objects you have to the Leadership, this includes jewellery and televisions and watches and things like this.
27th November The war progresses with Burton at an alarming rate. Dork casualties are practically zero, whilst the Burtonians have suffered severe losses at the hands of some of our crack Tank Regiments, such as the 20th Masborough 'Legion Carl' Division. Some may call this barbarism, the false UN have been bleating about supposed war crimes, for instance, but we call it
26th November Refugees from Burton have tried to cross the former Derbyshire border. They were quickly turned back with warning shots fired at their stomachs. Many of these vicious thugs intended to upset the balance of power in Dorkshire, many came from the age range that allows this kind of behaviour, i.e. 10-12 year olds. We won't tollerate this influx of Non-Dorks and have entered into discusions with rhe UN about how to dispose of them properly.
25th November News from the front! The Operation Bassarossa is proceding according to plan, most of the first day objectives lie in Dorkshire's hands! There will be a published report on the situation and campaign trial on this website soon.
24th November The Assault against Burton is still going strong and we can publish images and information about the operation, find it Here
22nd November A great operation under the code name 'Bassarossa' has been implemented today, The attack on Burton On Trent! The leadership are said to be ecstatic about the early advances of the Dork soldiers
21st November The Leadership stay quiet as something big is planned.
20th November To further relationships between Dorkshire and The Antarctic Cult, a city is named after Rotherham on the Antarctic mainland. Dignatories from both organisations have a party and chat.
19th November The conference organiser is abducted by the DSP and tortured for over six hours. "That'll teach the bastard!" Alex was heard to say.
18th November Alex and Graham attempt to get their views on the Archaeology of Dorkshire heard at an Archaeological conference, but they are disallowed by the events organisers. Have they heard of Freedom of Speech?
16th November Alex organises a banquet to celebrate the aniversary of his heroic capture of Barnstable 'in the last lot'. Many are expected to attend!
15th November Down With Dorkshire make yet another mistake in their campaign against Dorkshire. By publishing allegded E mails sent by one of the Leadership, DWD has shown itself for the fool it is. The E mails were sent in another 'Dickie Dirt' style operation by the DSP, again the enemy did no checking into the authenticity of the sender. Your stupidity has outdone your selfs again! Besides which one of the messages was edited, it should have ran: "Dorks are worthless, they know that, you know that and we know that." instead the message ran: "Dorks are worthless, they know that, we know that." This travesty only goes to show that the other messages are open to interpretation and should not be taken as a true account of the facts. Something the DWD wouldn't know anything about!
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!
14th November To cement relationships between Dorkshire and one of our strongest Allies, the Antarctic Cult, a link has been provided to their home page. We at the Dorkshire Website urge the AC to fix the bugs in their system, so that the website runs smoothly (like the Dorkshire one!)
Antarctica, Who wouldn't want to go on holiday there?
This just in; an exclusive picture of Alex in action during the floods of Dorkshire. The moment when he parted the water of the Ouse, for the beleaguered Dorks!
11th November The UN have claimed on their site that 'Over the last few weeks tempers have been worsening as Dorks grow more angry at the Leadership for failing to stop the floods that have washed at least seven towns away.' This amongst other things in their statement is untrue, only 3 towns were washed away. The 'UN' go on to claim 'yesterday's 31st October The UN have threatened the Leadership with physical action against our fair county, but the Leadership had stood against the UN showing that Dorkshire is ready to fight against the tyranny of greedmongers that populate an organisation such as the UN! The Dorks are safe in the hands of The Leadership! No-one shall get our coal!
30th October The UN become aware of Dorkshires existence, further proof that Dorkshire is growing not only in popularity but in strength also.
28th October There is a murmering of new things happening in the Dorkshire camp. It is all very Hush-Hush at the moment,but expect something soon!
26th October Dorkshire gains two great powers help in it's struggle! Both the Antarctic Cult and the mighty Kingdom of Pleurasia are ready to take their places besides Dorkshire in the great power struggle. The Dorkshire website welcomes both super-powers with open arms!
25th October No further comment is made from Mr M or Max Graves, Dorkshire has won, again!
23rd October We Damn Mr M's Critisim of our latest move against him and his associate Max Graves, with the publishing of further letters from the Dickiegate Scandal here!
20th October Today, the greatest scoop in the war against Max Graves is revealed here.
Despite rumours on the Guestbook to the tune that Graham is not leading anymore are false. Graham, as we speak, is working on a new Dorkshire book, 'Dorkshire, my Dorkshire, our Dorkshire!'. The book will reveal Graham's favourite places in Dorkshire and is bound to be a best seller! Also the reason Graham does not have a place in Alex's Palace is because he has his own palace outside Selby, do you really the think the Leadership lives on the streets? You Thicks.
19th October Despite the rumours that are persistant on the internet about Alex maquerading as Dork 678, we can reveal that these rumours are just that, rumours. The Leadership captured Dork 678 from the pit last night and began to torture him for information. Even though the Dork underwent several hours of torture, his veiws on Dorkshire have not changed, he still supports the Leadership and Dorkshire, in a statement he said "The Leadership are great, I am in full support of their actions!" This shows that despite other 'websites' claims that the Leadership are losing popular support, they are in fact gaining popularity! In other news, the Anti-Dorkist movement under the Shadow, has claimed that Alex's Palace is being used as a place of torture. Here at the Dorkshire Web-site we can confirm these rumours, the Palace IS being used as a place of Torture. Where do you think Dork 678 was taken? You thick!
Graham makes a massive apearence today, despite his lack of presence in Dorkshire recently, he has made an apearence at the Duffield pit. The Dorks were impressed!
18th October Today the unveiling of Alex's Palace went ahead without a hitch! We at the Dorkshire Web Site have secured the rights to the article from Ay Up! dealing with this palace, read about it here
17th October The Shadow has made a massive mistake for his anti-Dorkshire movement. Although this terrorist remains at large, his website contains the following anouncment:
'Much has transpired over the last week ... let it be known that DNA now has a new legal representative; Dr Emmanuel Carwash of the Des Moines Academy of Law. We trust that he will serve us well in our battle against tyranny, should it progress into the courtroom instead of the battlefield.'
The choosing of 'Dr Emanuel Carwash' as his legal representative is the gravest mistake anyone could make. The DSP has revealed today that Carwash' does not exist, he is mearly a figment of the imagination of a crazed anti-Dorkist. The Shadow has been pulled into his trap and will suffer for it! Besides which, choosing a legal representative from outside Dorkshire, just goes to show that the Shadow has little regard for the true Dorks. Dorks, follow the true Leadership of Alex and Graham.
The Pictures and story of Alex's Palace are ready, and will be published tommorow on this site!
16th October Alex continues his tour of Dorkshire delivering speeches to the masses. His latest speech concerns the transportation methods that Dorks may use:
'I have no shame in telling honest Dorks that I use the transportaion method allowed by floating with a head full of Helium. In my army days, it put me in good stead against the enemy! I would reccomend the method for use down t'pit when the preliminary coal face scarring techniques are required.'
Amongst other forms of transport Alex extoles are rolling down hills in tubes of butterscotch, 'a ride and a meal in one'!.
In other news, Alex has a new palace designed for his weekend jaunts to the country. 29th September A lull in activty from the glorious Dictators as they both take a well earned rest after political debate and speeches.
22nd September The debate about the origins of Dorkshire seem to be hotting up, Graham and Alex have conducted their own search into the enigma along with JR Hartley, their results are very surprising!
20th September The American Professor who made untrue statements about Dorkshire's past has been threatened on this very website! One of Dorkshire's best loved and well respected Historians has taken it upon himself to silence any doubt about Dorkshire's hsitory! The Leadership are certain that all Dorks support this move towards the truth!
19th September Dorksire's archaeological record has been opened at last, found out about it here.
18th September Dispite rumours that the Dorkshire Leadership was splitting, Alex and Graham are back in their rightful seat of power! Due to a world tour which extoled the virtues of Dorkshire to our Foreign representatives, Alex and Graham have not been able to make any speeches to the masses in England. This has changed now however and a grand Tour is planned for October starting in Dalton!
9th August Alex discovers that the Dorkshire webpage has received the great honour of being Angelfire`s Site Of The Day! This discovery was made during a Peace Process trip to the Far East, with a mission to discover the work ethic to be able to apply it to the pit workers!
30th July: Following Alex`s Great discovery, a news blackout has been ordered so history may be reassed.
29th July: Alex has been working at a place in southern Derbyshire in order to asses the impact of our ancestors on Dorkshire. His findings include a re-ordering of the usual archaeological time periods. The Roman Age has now been put back between the neolithic and mesolithic Ages. The Bronze Age has been brought forward to coincide with the Viking Age.
10th July: Another news blackout is ordered, as Alex is working at an undisclosed area in the open.
9th July: The Leadership are seen working down t'pit, in order to encourage other Dorks to do so too!
8th July: The Leadership meet up at the base of the Chevin, the first proper hill of the Pennines, at the birth place of the mighty Graham. Together they give a great speach that woos the crowds!
30th June: The DSP have ordered a news blackout in order that the Dorkshire Leadership can travel the county without fear of possible attack, with Max Graves still at large.
29th June: We have secured the rights to the Ay Up! article "A Tour Around Dorkshire With Alex", click here to see it!
28th June: The dealays surrounding the Flying Whale pictures have been ironed out, also coming soon to this site, an exclusive edition of Aye Up!'s article 'Alex's Dorkshire', in which Alex will take you on a tour around Dorkshire and some of the beauty spots there! Look out in the news for more details soons!
27th June: An artists impression of the Flying Whale has been released to the public. See here for more information. It shall be published on this site as soon as the problems facing the web builders are ironed out.
26th June: Graham's Birthday Speech Celebrations reach a cresendo at the Pro-Dorkshire Rally at Kiveton, the Dorks at Kiveton pit are given the day off the come and celebrate the Glorious Leadership! Graham was acompanied by his dog Dennis, seen here in the following picture at his master's feet.
24th June: Following on from his Birthday celebrations, Graham gives lucky Dorks in Treeton a speech, the lucky Dorks are allowed out of the pit for a few hours to hear the Leader speak!
23rd June: On the Leader's Birthday, Graham's New Design for a new bomber is revealed during a press conference, the Dorks who created this site have been tortured because of their lack of action in putting it on the web, all they can offer the Leadership is their sincerest appologies and the mistake will be rectified very soon, stay tuned for more details. also revealed today is the new Pro-Dorkshire Website, see the links page for more details!
In other news, Max Graves has stayed very quiet since the DSP's Sting operation, although he is still at large, he must be moving through different areas of sanctuary. If any Dorks know of his whereabouts, could they please post details to the DSP on this website.
Crime, Together We'll Crack It.
22nd June: More Information About The Swanton Morely Bomb Tests is revealed by top Dorkshire Scientists.
21st June: Alex's Love Dome Re-opens for one Night only!
20th June: Dorkshire records its hottest night on record. This was arranged by the Leadership for the pleasure of the Dorks! Who says the Leadership don't do nice things for the people?
18th June: Dorkshire Tests Atomic Bombs over Swanton Morely, see Here for more news about it!
Meanwhile Alex continues his tour of Dorkshire and surveys the castle at Scarbrough as a possible redevelopment centre.
17th June: Alex goes on a tour of Dorkshire, and sees several of the beautiful sites of the county!
16th June: Today in a massive 'sting' operation, the DSP moved in on Max Graves' position, it had been known for some time prior to the operation! The DSP knew Max was using a fasle name and they were proved correct, to find out who Max Graves is see here. The operation was acomplete success and no injuries were caused to the DSP. Graves managed to get away in the fracas, but several of his followers were killed in the conflict. The hunt goes on until we can catch and destroy Graves and his pathetic rebellion. The leader in this 'sting' operation was nonother than Alex himself! The brave leader showed his cunning that he had gained in the war, which has been publicised on the web recently, which allowed the DSP to move in on Graves! Hurah for Dorkshire!
15th June: Alex's War Diaries have been found and published on this very site! Click here for more!
Also a peacful Pro Dorkshire went off in style! The Leadership even made an appearance whilst this photo was taken, the Figures leading the march, wearing masks to help with the dusty conditions down t’pit, are all looking to the right were the Leadership were stood!
14th June: The copy of the magazine called "Eh Oop" is a forgery, the real magazine called 'Ay Up!' can be seen here:Ay Up!
The other copy recently seen on the net is a fake and has been made by amateurs and incompitents.
13th June: The Clone of John Clay attempts to bring the Leadership down with a pathetic attempt at blackmail. In other news, The Leadership impose a ban on all working holidays until the dissent down the Pit is sorted out.
11th June: Alex Works tirelessly trough the night on his new autobigraphy "Your Man Is My Morphine". This will replace his earlier autobiography "I Like It Better With The Lights On".
9th June: Graham takes a holiday away from the strains of Leadership, to make sure he is refreshed for a new assault on Anti-Dorksists
8th June: Due to unpopular demand the Website is changed back, it seems that Dorks don't like change!
7th June: The Dorkshire Website is changed,the Dorks are asked for their opinions on it.
6th June: Graham hosts a Barbeque for important dignitaries, who are all impressed by the mighty feast laid for them!
5th June: The demmand for Aye Up! is satisfied by the printers working over night to feed the hungry! Look for a feature on the magazine soon on this site!
4th June: Aye Up! magazine goes on sale with demmand outstripping supply, several thousand Dorks go without copies, but are compensated with signed photos of the Leadership instead, at the cheaper price of £25.
3rd June: The Dorkshire Leadership entertain freinds at their country mansion for a week, Dorks crowd around the gates of the building for a glimpse of the Leaders!
1st June: The DSP have discovered the identity of Max Graves, see the Named and Shamed section
31st May: Worrking through the night to get the Dorkshire web site back on line, the Dorkshire Internet Guild acheive their goals! Contrary to popular belief that a man named M was behind the Sabotage, the Leadership wish to anounce that it was Graham trying to use the internet that caused to fault and not any work from any Anti-Dorkshire factions!
29th May: Graves ignores the Leaderships generous offer and has given them only one choice, the Dorkshire Secret police are tracking him down now.
27th May: The Leadership has posted a generous offer to one of the Anti-Dorkshire factions. A certain 'M. Graves' has been given the chance to leave Dorkshire rather than continue with his futile attempts at destroying the Leadership. This act shows the generosity that the Leadership creates by their very existence! We Dorks hope strongly that Graves takes up this offer and leaves the utopia that is Dorkshire behind, to persue another creative act elsewhere.
26th May: The Leadership has noticed an increase in the amount of Anti-Dorkshire literature that is appearing on the internet. To all the Dorks that are feeling aprehensive about the amount of Anti-Dorkist feelings, the traitors that are perpatrating these hideous crimes will be rounded up and gassed like badgers! We are especially vigilant in looking for 'Max Graves', the Dorkshire Secret Police have their suspisions who he is, and will be acting soon enough! These people do not semm to realidse that they have a choice in Dorkshire, Love it or Leave it!
Also coming soon, a tour round Dorkshire with your leader Alex! Exclusive pictures coming soon!
And the Dorkshire Death lottery gets off to a good start! Dork 386 kicked and screamed all the way to the gas chamber! Good entertainment was provided for all!
24th May: The imminant release of the new Dorkshire magazine is announced today! In a responce to London's 'Hello' magazine, the Leadership have approved the publication of 'Ay Up!', this new magazine will show the Leadership in their houses and at weddings etc. All at a paltry sum of £35 per issue! With prices this cheap, stocks probably won't last, so get those orders in quickly Dorks to avoid disapointment! In other news, the day was spent by the Leadership in a photoshoot ready for the new magazine. Trouble brewed when a 'representative' of Down With Dorkshire appeared and started making trouble during one of Graham's speeches. She claimed to be the traitor known as Katie Johnson, and although she had a striking resemblence to the dead Johnson, the Dorkshire leaders had her quickly put down! Photos of this incident will be revealed to the public soon, so watch this space.
22nd May: The great Death Lottery is Anounced, Each week a lucky Dork shall be selected at random from the Lottery machine 'Merlin', and shall be executed live on DTV. The idea was spawned from the result of the overwhelming support that the execution of the traitors brought. So get ready Dorks, because next time "it could be you!"
21st May: A quiet period for the Leadership, Alex trains in firearm specialities at his home, whilst Graham hunts rodents.
20th May: During historical research Graham unearths yet more details of Dorkshire's past, archaeologists are astounded.
19th May: People are still celebrating the Death of the Traitors, Dorkshire breathes a sigh of relief over the executions!
18th May: The great day of Execution! The votes have been counted and the traitors were execurted in the following way:
First their arses where tied together. Clay had a broomstick forced down his throat until blood appeared. Johnson had her head shaved and was stuck with a knife.
Both bled to death over a long period of time, during which Dorks celebrated throughout the land before returning to the pits for tea.
Later that evening a gig performed by the Gay superstar Dennie Egam is attended by Graham and Alex in their first public apearence together for some time. This quashes any rumours of a split!
17th May: A great parade is held in Duffield to celebrate Graham's Speech, his old teachers join in the celebrations, including Mr Gaskill, still sporting his scars! In other news, reports of Katie Johnson's supposed escape have been crushed by the Leadership. Johnson is still under close guard and has been totrured, not to gain any information, but just for the pleasure of the Leadership. Tomorow is the final day for the vote, so get writing now! Go Dorkshire Go!
16th May: Graham's Speech goes on Line! Heralded as the greatest peice of political writing since the Treaty of Versailles!
14th May: Graham's Speech is almost fully edited.
13th May: A date is set for the great vote, Thursday 18th May. Vote now Dorks to see which execution method will be used on Clay and Johnson.
11th May: Many Dorks report visions of Alex hovering 12ft in the air over 10ft high over the centre of Rotherham. Is this a sign of the great one's divinity? Church men and commoners alike agree that only true enlightenment may come from the Leadership. Meanwhile Graham is spotted helping an old lady across the street.
10th May: Alex helps out a local business by working for a short period, the mission is a success and many Dorks seize the initiative and help as well!
9th May: Graham's tours of the pits comes to a close amidst protests from Dorks wanting more, maybe something will occur in the future.
7th May: A close victory for the Leadership Pub Quiz team, led by Alex, this brave leader has all the qualities to continue Dictatorship.
6th May: The Pit tour continues amidst great aclaim, Wakefield is the next pit to recive a suprise visit from out esteemed leader! Dorks line the mine shaft and cheer the Leader.
5th May: Graham's new work ethic prompts a tour of t'pits, starting at Orgreve, the great leader helps dig some coal and even tries a little with the Dorks. His comments include 'Delicious!' and 'Keep working Dorkshire! For all our futures!'
3rd May: Alex looks at his horoscope and discovers that he is the Messiah! All Dorks are now free to revere this God-like entity. True wisdom comes from within t'pit.
30th April: The hard working Leadership have created a beautiful Dorkshire. Help them keep it tidy!
29th April: Graham has found a work ethic and has decided that if he can, all Dorks can too, so inacordance to this, all holidays are cut from four days to one day.
27th April: The reports about the Leadership fall-out are wrong, the news can go back on line again!
23rd April: Due to reports of a fall-out in the Leadership, the news has been blacked-out again.
21st April: Back together, the Leadership create strong pro-Dork feelings in several parts of the county. Love your leaders!
20th April: Finally the anti-Dork movements have been crushed and the News Balckout is no longer imposed! A great day for Dorkshire! Alex has returned from his tour of the wilderness of Wales and Oxford, he didn't like what he saw! Dorks can be assured that Alex is working hard to turn Dorkshire into a utopia unlike the flacid lands to the south and west!
