The Archaeology of Dorkshire, The Saxons

Now we move onto the period of Dorkshire during the Saxon times. The Anti-Dork movements have again tried to bend history by saying that the Saxons came to England and kicked Dork ass. This again is untrue, if you have been reading the news items you will have seen that Alex, has rediscovered the past. The Saxons came before the Roman invasion, but only stayed for a short while, they had been invited into England, and Dorkshire, by the then King Duff (King of Dorkshire). They stayed for about six weeks but due to an unfortunate incident involving Mr Wendles' cattle they were asked to leave, this they did politely. It wasn't until another 500 years when they reappeared on the southern coast of England and set up a few towns called Burghs. These fortified positions were created to attempt to beat off the invading Dorks from the north. It didn't work. The Saxons were driven back to Saxony with their tails between their legs. Again they attacked the southern coast and captured large parts of Poole and Devon. The Southerners at this time were getting used to losing, a trait which has kept with them for the following centuries.

The Saxons were crushed in the North at the Battle of Eastwood, just outside the modern capital of Dorkshire, Rotherham. The Saxon army was routed in the face of poison gas and severe ridicule. After the Saxons came peace, only shattered by Dork raiding parties into the south to capture coal. Again in 792 the King (King Roth) invited the Vikings over to Dorkshire inorder to gain a coal exchange program, this worked until the Vikings got violent and tried to intimidate the Dorks. This didn't work either. The Dorks were not intimidated and by 1066 they had driven the Vikings from the land. Whilst the south was being invaded by the French, a worse bunch of Losers than the southerners, the Dorks held strong and never gave in...

The rest, as they say, is history...

Home