Mood:  down

It`s sad. Depressing. But I`m not complaining. It`s been always like this. My parents have always compared me and 1 of my younger sisters. And I have lost the race in 99% of the cases. I remember only once to be said to her to take example from me. And that was when my room happened to be super clean and hers had been really messy for a little while.

But more than comparing which one of us has cleaner room it bites me more when they are commenting about my physical appereance. This sister of mine is an athletic person, while my sporting is usually limited to walking/rushing to the nearest busstop and walking back. I lost 6 kilos on this summer and my parents were joyfull about that. But they barely had said the praises when they started to slap me again with their words about not to gain back `em and that I`m still fat. Truth is that I`m not as fat as people could understand if only hearing the words of my parents. The school nurses and doctors also have tested me and I get high scores from all other muscle groups except the abs. And I`ve always been abe to lift and carry heavy things, while my classmate girls have complained the things to be too heavy for them. My sister is strong too, but I can still spank her if she`s whining for that (= annoying me too much), unless her trials to beat me gets me too weak from laughing. Then I may have some difficulties to fight back. But I truly hate it when my underweighted sister is being lifted on the throne and all what I do or even my looks is being compared to her. I guess it`s a fact that parents still tend to prefer soft, feminine girls to boneheaded, strong girls. Especially if the bone-head daughter has so much alikeness with her mother that people sometimes mix them. (Like when some time ago my mom`s co-worker though it was my mom on the phone when i was speaking in fact.)

My weight and my big butt is a problem to my parents and I don`t always understand it. As long as I`m not sickly over-weighted I think it`s O.k. to be a bit chubby. Being over thin ain`t healthy either. And I`m planning to start some excersising and stretcing. And I like to dance if not forced to sit still while doing my stuff at home. Of course my parents ain`t seeing that. They live some kilometres away from me.
Well, at least I get some excersise when mowing the lawns for old people (I`m working in a service which is designed especially for old people and those who are not able to do their domestic duties without great difficulties. Many have ordered me to mow their lawns during this summer and that`s what you can call benefit of the work when you can "excersise" while doing your job and making the life at home easier for an old person or a heavily pregnant mother who has 3 wild children already.

My parents can shut up. As long as I`m feeling fine in the way I am and Vinnie II still finds me attractive, I can ignore the evil words of the environment. I have the support of the person I love the most.

Good night everybody! (Here it`s 3.30 AM now.)