Topic: Dreams
Now Playing: Quench: "Dreams" and Blokka "Dig Deep" from the CD: "The World of Trance" © & (P) 1995 ZYX-MUSIC
Miss Shiva: "Dreams" from the CD: Best of Dream Dance, The Special Megamix Edition 2 - A Collection of The Best Dream Dance Hymns © 2002 Sony Music Entertainment (Germany) GmbH & Co. KG.
It`s a question of the same "Dreams" -song represented by 2 different bands and I had difficulties to choose which one of these versions very much alike is more fitting. Perhaps the version of Quench fits more, since the bells in the Miss Shiva`s version reminds me too much from the church bells of `S-Hertogenbosch (a.k.a. "Den Bosch") in Netherlands and they are perhaps slightly too joyfull. (Wedding bells perhaps?). On the another hand the version of Quench makes me feel especially in the beginning to feel like if I`d see all kind of flashes of hard life. Perhaps I`ve matched this song/version (too) strongly to the de Megazones and especially to Venom Predator and his life and along with the music comes flashes from his life that hasn`t been the most joyfull. Well, whose life would be the happiest, if he/she has to march to the war against stronger enemy and watch how his/her friends and people he/she used to know, dies around him/her in the battles and life partner ends up to have a child with someone else than he/she.
O.k. Since I got again Angelfire`s blog to operate with me, I`m posting, posting and posting even more. Readers be happy and enjoy!
A little before my newest school began I saw a dream that carried my subconscious` message for day-time appereance. Laugh at me if you don`t believe, but I do see at times dreams that tries to advise me for the future. Of course I do see and remember that I have seen just very ordinary dreams, but every time I see a dream that carries a message for me, the atmosphere in the dream is different, but always the same kind. It presses me much harder and it stays in my mind stronger and longer than ordinary dreams. They never really tell "this all what you see, will happen" but more they try to wake me to do or notice something that I might skip otherwise.
There are 3 different kind of dreams I see. Group 1 is the ordinary, non-messaging dreams, which are either A) totally result of wild imagination (e.g. The dreams from where I`ve written the story of "The Modo-Dream"), B) sums up or repeats events that have happened or which I will/should do (e.g. I`m downhill skiing if I did that whole day after a long time.), or C) Nightmares. (e.g. I`ve watched a film late in the evening that upset my sleepy mind a bit too much.) To these dreams I can affect most of the time if I want so.
Group 2 dreams are softly symbolical but rather easy to figure out their meaning with the help of general dream books (Don`t interpret everything by Freud`s dream interpretation book! It`s fun at times but doesn`t always tell the truth with me at least.)
I don`t always need a book to unveil the secrets of these dreams and sometimes the books interpret the dreams differently than what they truly are. Most important is your own experience of the meanings of different things to you. Sometimes the cigar is just a cigar, as Freud has admitted too. These dreams are usually a bit heavier than the dreams of Group 1 and what is most significant with this and the dreams of Group 3, is that I can`t change `em. If I try to, my subconscious snaps back at me and gives a lecture to my daytime consciousness to sit down, shut up and just watch, listen and learn. And if I still keep pushing and wanting to change the way the things goes, the dream ends immediately and the rest of the night I see just plain Group 1 dreams that I may forget or remember - depending on how much I`m pissed off to myself for poking the subconscious towards the ways my conscious day-time part had wanted it to go.
Group 3 dreams are heavily symbolized. I see these dreams very rarely, since they usually carry the heaviest messages, and therefore they tend to appear only at the more radical changes that affects in my life. The dream I already told I had seen some time before the beginning of my newest school started, was this kind of dream. I can rarely rely on the dream books when I`m interpretating the messages of the dreams that belongs to this category and usually they clear out to me only when I start to tell the dream to someone else. Usually then when I`m digging up the details from my memories, it all clears to me. And that dream in August was no exception. The only thing that I misinterpret in the first place when I was clearing to myself the message told in that dream, was 1 person who represented character with authority although the person in my dream was my ex-classmate and same aged with me. Later, about 3 weeks ago from the moment I`m writing this, I saw another dream - this time it was Group 2 levelled - that repeated my earlier message to myself. The dream itself was different than the heavily symbolized original dream, but all the same it carried the reminding of the message that the original had brought to my consciousness. The person in the original dream (my ex-classmate) had switched to the person he was representing (my teacher who I didn`t know yet back then) and now the teacher himself said and showed the message to me. The general of the original dream who had led the troops and lead me to tough situations had switched to my teacher who showed me a tough way from where I had to go first, climb against the tiring duties and demandings but if I did it all well enough - if I dare to put myself into the game and sweat for better future - then at the end my hard working should be rewarded. My teacher said in my dreams "I can only show you the way - it`s you who have to walk it." That doesn`t need much interpretation, it`s clear and straight words. If I`m following the footsteps of Charley, I must be tough and hard working. No-one will bring me a feast table in front of me - I have to earn it first myself and then make it for myself and enjoy afterward from the fruits of that hard working. My cannon has switched to 2 kitchen knives that I used to despise as a weaponry. My original plan for going to university has switched to 2 vocational educations that I used to despise, but now slowly I`m starting to realize that the game is not over yet - it`s changed and I can still stand as the winner on the end. But close by a destruction I will probably travel, if I`m not carefull enough. A bomb may explode in my hands if I don`t notice it early enough and do something to it. Only I can do it. Only I can make my life a total failure or some sort of success. Before the final scores I must keep up whipping myself to the best I can give. I can`t give in to the failure and low points. I must do my best. Now and forever.
d'oh
) (He almost got me to think what`s the purpose of all this dM vs. VW -shit? Let`s all be friends and lovers! 
)
with him about the official details of this separation and his property that we sent on last week`s Thursday to his parents` place and all this we did with friendly mannners - even smiled a bit to each other in the phone. However this freedom I`ve had for 1 week now has been like a warm and fresh breath of wind on a summerday in my life. I know when the time goes forward I will probably start to miss a bit Vinnie II and the nice moments we had but probably I will start to miss a man`s arms in general rather than specially someone certain`s arms. In this case "someone certain" can mean any guy in this world, who has or would by the time become (very) special to me in some way.
celebratory
. 
loud
on fire
.
blue
My parents were on that week on a holiday and it was late in the evening when I call to them and cry to them about how`s it with Pipsa. Mom tells me to wait till they're back (almost a week till that) and then perhaps to go to the vet. I was weighting the possibilities for two days and then I got a time to the vet. Mom was furious (and so was dad too) when I had disobeyed them, but an ordinary countryside bunny that is already over half a year older and weights barely 1kg is way too small! 
The vet said I did right and that Pipsa wouldn`t have made it till my parents`return. It was just awfull to watch her when she was waking up from the anesthetics. (And try to guard her from hitting herself to anything when her feet betrayed and she fell on the ground or against a cupboard. This happened on 27th of January.
would take me already now to his place. 
