Mood: Sleepy

Now playing: Randy Katana: "In Silence" (Ron van den Beuken Radio Edit) (track: 2) and Dj Wout: "Mastermind" (Radio Edit), CD: "Chapter Trance 2" (Distributed by: The Dance Division)

Just checking the e-mails and some newer pics at DeviantArt while cleaning up and organizing the storage boxes under my bed. I had no mood for writing anything special, so I decided to skip that for today.

As I mentioned in 1 of my posting at DA - I have currently running 2 non-BMFM stories on the writing process, plus the sequel for the first one. The one which has the sequel is the one that I`ve already been mentioning here in this blog, but when I went for my x-mas holiday in Lappland - I saw two-parted dream that partly used the same characters that appear in the 1st non-BMFM story, but the charactersthemselves were still a bit different like than the ones in the 1st story are. Therefore I developed a new set of characters to the same base I had n the 1st story, but I changed and altered `em to meet more the figures that appeared in that dream. May sound a bit messy, but since I prefer still to keep silence about the details of those stories - I have to avoid telling anything that reveals too much. On the another hand I`ve kept my non-BMFM stuff separate from the BMFM-universe I`ve created, so therefore I also prefer not to talk too much about `em here in this blog. ...Just to let you dear readers to know I haven`t been resting still all this time and on monday I`m starting a work practice also. But now I must quit for this time. It`s far too late for me to stay up since I have to go to work, but I`m desperately trying to get Angelfire to publish my postings again. (Read it refuses to function and save my postings.)

Raisa Is Gone!

Mood:  blue

Now playing: Alex Fakey: "Painted Black" (Syntone Edit) (track: 13) from the CD: "Chapter Trance 2" (Distributed by: The Dance Division)

I haven`t written anything about my bunnies for nearly a year. It`s a shame, but I got my bunny pictures off from Vinnie II`s computer not until we separated. Raisa and Pyry had 2 huge sets of cubs: 13 on the 1st time and 9 on the second time - from which survived 6 on the 1 time and 8 on the second time, despite of all the vitamins and care I tried to give for Raisa especially. Anyway, I think two sets of that size took much of energy from Raisa, and weakened her rather permanently. I was on a holiday for 1 week as I told on the previous entry and my parents were caring my bunnies. But on the 2nd day after I had arrived back home, I go to feed my bunnies right after returning home from my work and find Raisa breathing heavily and her heart beats extremely fast. She doesn`t bother even if I pet her and try to examine her which raises my alarm bells ringing fast and loud in my mind. I call to my mom and accuse them for bad treatment, while Pyry and the two boys Turbo and Tuisku left from the second set of the cubs appears just fine and normal - a perfectly healthy trio. I call even to my vet but I think he doesn`t take bunnies seriously as pets. I`ve noticed he prefers more the animals that are useful - like dogs, cats and cows - and he treats me a bit ugly on the phone and states it would be better to kill the bunny immediately. Not very long time after that Raisa starts to collapse in my hands and makes her desperate struggles, sauys "Ungh!" and after that she stops breathing while heart still beats for a little while - shutting down at the end.

My parents arrived not very long time after that, finsing me crying inthe cowbarn and holding the dead black bunny who had white stripe around her neck, white socks on the front paws and white nose. I put Raisa in a box with dad and we put her to the woodwarehouse to wait for the funeral which we had today. I miss you Raisa!

Merry X-mas 2005!

Mood: Festive

I wish for each and everyone the season`s greetings.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Yule or whatever you`re celebrating. And of course... Happy New Year. I won`t be around for a little while, I`m packing right now since I`m having a holiday from the net and will be only bugging my family members during that holiday and after that when I return, I will continue bugging my school mates and of course... tear and torture the short nerves of my teacher.

I got ok season at my new school, with ok grades. I have gotten a more permanent working contract and nice x-mas bonus. ^^ Even my car looks much prettier now when I fixed it. The only sad thing that had to happen was that Vinnie II started to act violently towards me when he got angry and jealous, so I had to make my decision and kick him out of my life. I had told him I won`t tolerate that he hits or tries to hit me (I could defend myself quite well, so I wasn`t afraid of him at all at any moment.) but he still did that when he got furious.
There`s nothing to be ashamed from my side. I refuse(d ) to be a victim and stand(/stood ) on my own feet. I am after all Mizeleingzelo de Megazone - Daughter of Death - Queen and the leader of my own world.

I won`t step to live in the shadows and bow to a jealous VanWham. Some day I will finish the yet unfinished pictures where Vinnie II appears (for all of those I have recieved permission from Vincent "Vinnie" van Wham II before I`ve started the drawing process) but now I will focus on other targets. Life goes on.

Now Playing: Quench: "Dreams" and Blokka "Dig Deep" from the CD: "The World of Trance" © & (P) 1995 ZYX-MUSIC
Miss Shiva: "Dreams" from the CD: Best of Dream Dance, The Special Megamix Edition 2 - A Collection of The Best Dream Dance Hymns © 2002 Sony Music Entertainment (Germany) GmbH & Co. KG.

It`s a question of the same "Dreams" -song represented by 2 different bands and I had difficulties to choose which one of these versions very much alike is more fitting. Perhaps the version of Quench fits more, since the bells in the Miss Shiva`s version reminds me too much from the church bells of `S-Hertogenbosch (a.k.a. "Den Bosch") in Netherlands and they are perhaps slightly too joyfull. (Wedding bells perhaps?). On the another hand the version of Quench makes me feel especially in the beginning to feel like if I`d see all kind of flashes of hard life. Perhaps I`ve matched this song/version (too) strongly to the de Megazones and especially to Venom Predator and his life and along with the music comes flashes from his life that hasn`t been the most joyfull. Well, whose life would be the happiest, if he/she has to march to the war against stronger enemy and watch how his/her friends and people he/she used to know, dies around him/her in the battles and life partner ends up to have a child with someone else than he/she.

O.k. Since I got again Angelfire`s blog to operate with me, I`m posting, posting and posting even more. Readers be happy and enjoy!

A little before my newest school began I saw a dream that carried my subconscious` message for day-time appereance. Laugh at me if you don`t believe, but I do see at times dreams that tries to advise me for the future. Of course I do see and remember that I have seen just very ordinary dreams, but every time I see a dream that carries a message for me, the atmosphere in the dream is different, but always the same kind. It presses me much harder and it stays in my mind stronger and longer than ordinary dreams. They never really tell "this all what you see, will happen" but more they try to wake me to do or notice something that I might skip otherwise.

There are 3 different kind of dreams I see. Group 1 is the ordinary, non-messaging dreams, which are either A) totally result of wild imagination (e.g. The dreams from where I`ve written the story of "The Modo-Dream"), B) sums up or repeats events that have happened or which I will/should do (e.g. I`m downhill skiing if I did that whole day after a long time.), or C) Nightmares. (e.g. I`ve watched a film late in the evening that upset my sleepy mind a bit too much.) To these dreams I can affect most of the time if I want so.

Group 2 dreams are softly symbolical but rather easy to figure out their meaning with the help of general dream books (Don`t interpret everything by Freud`s dream interpretation book! It`s fun at times but doesn`t always tell the truth with me at least.)
I don`t always need a book to unveil the secrets of these dreams and sometimes the books interpret the dreams differently than what they truly are. Most important is your own experience of the meanings of different things to you. Sometimes the cigar is just a cigar, as Freud has admitted too. These dreams are usually a bit heavier than the dreams of Group 1 and what is most significant with this and the dreams of Group 3, is that I can`t change `em. If I try to, my subconscious snaps back at me and gives a lecture to my daytime consciousness to sit down, shut up and just watch, listen and learn. And if I still keep pushing and wanting to change the way the things goes, the dream ends immediately and the rest of the night I see just plain Group 1 dreams that I may forget or remember - depending on how much I`m pissed off to myself for poking the subconscious towards the ways my conscious day-time part had wanted it to go.

Group 3 dreams are heavily symbolized. I see these dreams very rarely, since they usually carry the heaviest messages, and therefore they tend to appear only at the more radical changes that affects in my life. The dream I already told I had seen some time before the beginning of my newest school started, was this kind of dream. I can rarely rely on the dream books when I`m interpretating the messages of the dreams that belongs to this category and usually they clear out to me only when I start to tell the dream to someone else. Usually then when I`m digging up the details from my memories, it all clears to me. And that dream in August was no exception. The only thing that I misinterpret in the first place when I was clearing to myself the message told in that dream, was 1 person who represented character with authority although the person in my dream was my ex-classmate and same aged with me. Later, about 3 weeks ago from the moment I`m writing this, I saw another dream - this time it was Group 2 levelled - that repeated my earlier message to myself. The dream itself was different than the heavily symbolized original dream, but all the same it carried the reminding of the message that the original had brought to my consciousness. The person in the original dream (my ex-classmate) had switched to the person he was representing (my teacher who I didn`t know yet back then) and now the teacher himself said and showed the message to me. The general of the original dream who had led the troops and lead me to tough situations had switched to my teacher who showed me a tough way from where I had to go first, climb against the tiring duties and demandings but if I did it all well enough - if I dare to put myself into the game and sweat for better future - then at the end my hard working should be rewarded. My teacher said in my dreams "I can only show you the way - it`s you who have to walk it." That doesn`t need much interpretation, it`s clear and straight words. If I`m following the footsteps of Charley, I must be tough and hard working. No-one will bring me a feast table in front of me - I have to earn it first myself and then make it for myself and enjoy afterward from the fruits of that hard working. My cannon has switched to 2 kitchen knives that I used to despise as a weaponry. My original plan for going to university has switched to 2 vocational educations that I used to despise, but now slowly I`m starting to realize that the game is not over yet - it`s changed and I can still stand as the winner on the end. But close by a destruction I will probably travel, if I`m not carefull enough. A bomb may explode in my hands if I don`t notice it early enough and do something to it. Only I can do it. Only I can make my life a total failure or some sort of success. Before the final scores I must keep up whipping myself to the best I can give. I can`t give in to the failure and low points. I must do my best. Now and forever.

Mood:  d'oh

Since Vinnie II moved out of my house, he also ripped the server computer in pieces and told me to build it up myself if I wanted it to be rolling again. I guess I gotta do it soon, but now at least I`m too buzy arranging the official stuff related to our separation and of course my school and job takes their own shares from my life. Plus that currently I have had more interst on writing totally non-BMFM related story and its sequel simultaneously. My new school is continuously inspiring me for making up things and events into that little writing project. Good thing in that sense that I haven`t been really writing anything at this scale after I had started writing my Modo/BMFM fan fiction "The Modo-Dream". The writing process of that story is much further than the already published version, but I haven`t yet found a good spot where to cut it and publish 1 part and still leave the end part under processing. Vinnie II snarled to me when I was writing this already mentioned non-BMFM story on my laptop that I should finish "Megazone Family" before the new BMFM series begins, but I bluntly stated it to be pure impossebility. Such a megalomaniac "saga" of one family and its relation to the Plutarkian War and rest of the mouse population doesn`t come "on the paper" in one or two days - or even in 1 or 2 months, if it has taken this far to proceed on the level where it is now. But to be honest, I think now I have more rage and will for revenge to be able to write more the de Megazones vs. the VanWhams fight situations and humiliate Vinnie in the ways that Vinnie II almost got me to forget ) (He almost got me to think what`s the purpose of all this dM vs. VW -shit? Let`s all be friends and lovers! )

Now of course you all think I`m just a bitter bitch (Excuse me for saying that word aloud, but let`s be honest. Is`at okay? Hit me with a comment if you feel so!) and raging to poor Vinnie II and punishing our ended relationship in this way. No, as I have told on The Discussion Board of The Unofficial BMFM Fan Club already since the beginning of my apperence there - the de Megazones and the VanWhams are arch enemies and age long rival families to each other and it was a common joke among many fans on that discussion forum how in real life a "VanWham" and a "de Megazone" ended up together in love. Unfortunately I don`t have same kind of powers as my name charcter, Mizeleingzelo and her family members have - I certainly would have wanted, wished and had use for `em many times. On the another hand since we`re being honest, I could empty the stocks of bad feelings, irritation, frustration, dissapointment, bitterness and rage and write on the paper all the awful things I had planned for these two families to happen.
Anyway, me and Vinnie II are not feeling rage at each other at this moment. I just talked on the with him about the official details of this separation and his property that we sent on last week`s Thursday to his parents` place and all this we did with friendly mannners - even smiled a bit to each other in the phone. However this freedom I`ve had for 1 week now has been like a warm and fresh breath of wind on a summerday in my life. I know when the time goes forward I will probably start to miss a bit Vinnie II and the nice moments we had but probably I will start to miss a man`s arms in general rather than specially someone certain`s arms. In this case "someone certain" can mean any guy in this world, who has or would by the time become (very) special to me in some way.

Bekcy Is Back!

Mood:  celebratory

I`m stuck on '80s cars. I like their shape. I like the certain roughness they still have and the simplicity of `em. Back then cars weren`t full of computers and the kind of technology they have now, plus there is much more space to work under the hatch of "engine room". In the modern cars you often nearly have to rip off half of the engine even to chance the .

When I was looking for a car for myself over 2 years ago, I didn`t have much money to spend on it. I was doing the searching with my father and finally we spotted a pearl among the rubbish. A white knight of the roads rode in to my life and has been in many hard places with me ever since. I hate to admit that I treat the worst those who are closest to me and the same comes with my car. However he has been faitful to me kept its rusting problems away from my eyes for a long time, till it was spreaded on rather bad levels on the area of the back tyres.

One day I took the topic to the daylight with my teacher when I was washing my car at school and we agreed a day when I would bring it in for rustfixing. The process was slow since I`m a total beginner and it even became slower because of the partial working days we had because the teacher had to go to all kind of courses and meetings all the time. Finally on 14th of December 2005 I drove out of the garage with the proudness for owning again such a handsome car. And "Bekcy" as I call him, has again been purring in my hands and thanked me with his desires to ride on the roads known and unknown. The white knight of the roads is back again!

Full Title: You lifted me up and put me down - But I will break it up now

Now playing: Scooter: "Don`t Let It Be Me" and "Break It Up" from the CD "Wicked!" © & (P) 1996 'edel' Gesellschaft f r Produktmarketing mbH

Mood: Complicated. Partly feastfull about the ending of this shit, partly sad for that this all had to turn this way and end like this, but also ragefull for Vinnie II for not doing his share at home.

Vinnie II is in tears. I have cried my eyes empty already and all that is left is jealousy, untrusting and fight about the little property we have. I was listening Scooter`s CD named Wicked! and I couldn`t help feeling that these two songs describe my feelings the best at the moment.

Don`t Let It Be Me

You lift me up
Just to put me down
You try to bring me up up up
Confusion all around

I hear your words
And everything you say
But nothing is the same no more
Untill you go away

Don`t let it be me, don`t let it be me
Don`t let it be me, don`t let it be me
'Cause I`m never, never, never, never gonna let you down
'Cause I`m never, never, never, never gonna let you down

I`ll let you go
To where you wanna be
I hope that you`ll understand
What you really meant to me

But then I`m gone
Gone and far away
Andnothing is the same no more
Since you went away

Don`t let it be me, don`t let it be me
Don`t let it be me, don`t let it be me
'Cause I`m never, never, never, never gonna let you down
'Cause I`m never, never, never, never gonna let you down

Break It Up

Where in the world, Where in the world
Where in the world did I get this hurt
I don`t mind, yeah I don`t mind
If you call me bad, call me wrong
Call me anything but your own
I don`t mind, yeah I don`t mind

I don`t care if you leave me
I don`t care if you go away
I don`t care if you wanted this
I don`t mind

Break it up, break it up, break it up, break it up, my love
If you think that you can`t stay with me then break it up my love
Break it up, just break it up, break it up, just break it up.

So, where in the world, Where in the world
Where in the world can I hide this hurt
I don`t mind, yeah I don`t mind
If you call me sad, call me strong
Strong enough to make it on my own
I don`t mind, yeah I don`t mind

If you tear down your walls inside
Go for a brandnew ride
But baby please don`t tell me so

Break it up, break it up, break it up, break it up, my love
If you think that you can`t stay with me then break it up my love
Break it up, just break it up, break it up, just break it up.

I guess it`s time to let it all go - at least for the time we get our minds and goals cleared and you Vinnie II grow up and learn to take more responsebilities and have finished his education. Till then we better let the Mr. Freeze in. If anyone who pokes in to read this, has any suggestion to fix the situation, all ideas are warmly welcomed. The situation anyway will be now that Vinnie II will move back to his parents` place and I will stay in my house and continue living here where I do. I admitted that I was expecting someone a little bit more Modo-like guy, but instead I got a 100% Vinnie VanWham Second Edition. ...And what was said about the de Megazones and the VanWhams? Makes me just wondering if Vinnie would turn out to become violent towards Charley if they ever really seriously would start to be together... After all he was so jealous to Jack McCyber. And Vinnie II showed all the same feelings to my own little "McCybers" from my new school.

Mood:  loud

...and running ans my original plan was and no additional hosts currently. I`m still discussing with 1 person about 1 hosting but it`s totally off the BMFM so I won`t be talking about it here. I have been doing some coding to both The Modo Fan Club and Technodrome - Home of the de Megazones and Megazone Fighters to get `em transferred on that server. And what a person named "Suicide Commando" said about Vinnie II and Gentoo is not true. He always uses the latest versions of the programs, unless there is extremely heavy reasons to stick to an older version. And as long as I`ve known Vinnie II I can only name 1 program which he hasn`t switched for a newer version: Photoshop. He keeps using the version 7 after that has already appeared versions "CS" and "CS 2". He even keeps whining to me at times when I keep being faitfull to my old junk as my "Packed Hell" with Win98Lite and Paint Shop Pro 7.02. He also succeeded with the 1st installation as he said but Suicide Commando (a.k.a. SC) refused to believe. Well, he`s free to think whatever he wants, I keep trusting my mate`s skills. Despite of that, we came to the result (merely Vinnie II decided about this) to put Debian "Sarge" on the server. While Gentoo is extremely customizable, I at least prefer stability over customizability. My own vote would have been Fedora Core 3, Since Fedora/Red Hat -line and me seems to get along the best. Debian however is my second choice. Ubuntu is also gollecting plus points from me, while Mandrake/Mandriva, Gentoo and many other KDE using Linux distributions get minus points from me.

Anyway, before the transfer can be finalized, I need to get at least 1 domain name running. Any and all suggestions can be mentioned to the comment section below the horizontal line at the bottom of this message, right above the previous title before this one or to my e-mail address: mizeleingzeloRemoVe@ThiSyahoo.com.

And official note for anybody: Since I`m the owner of the connection that the server uses along with my and Vinnie II`s private computers, I therefore give a public forbidding for any kind of installations for the server without my approval. This comes directly to everybody. Anybody (incl. Vinnie II also!) Must discuss with me inorder to have the permission to install something on the server. Any unauthorized access (excluding the normal browsing of the websites running on the server in question) will be concidered as an act of telecommunication crime and will be announced to the police who will investigate it and if found necessary, hand it to the prosecution. I can`t afford to get kicked out of the local internet community and be dropped to the 56k6 modem usage. This doesn`t mean you wouldn`t be allowed to post your fanworks to be published on my websites - I encourage people to do that and be proud of their creative works. What I don`t allow is illegal hacking and other illegal acts or acts that can cause me trouble with (Pimarily Finnish and EU) laws and/or my ISP. Browsing of a site/sites isn`t such, not publishing fanworks when I don`t claim to own your works/characters or the characters and things originating in the BMFM shows.

Fading Typing Screen

Mood: Annoyed

Now it`s not fun when you are at the end of typing a post to the blog the typing screen fades away like it does with a buzy computer. And I wasn`t doing anything else that having the "Now Playing" -song rolling on the background and 1 internet browser page open with 2 tabs. (1 tab was the typing scree for the blog and the other on was the blog itself as it appears for outsiders.) That`s not too much even for a bit older computer. I`ve had at worst open over 20 tabs in 4 to 6 Internet browser windowses plus perhaps PSP 7.02 or text editor/notepad editor for HTML.

Makes me really want to transfer this blog to my own server.

Mood:  on fire

As the tittle says, today was taken the first step for an own server. Vinnie II and I paid a visit to the office of the network community I`m a member of and which has made it possible that in the middle of nowhere is possible to have a fast connection, not just max 56k6 modem. Here the rules from the operators say it`s forbidden from ordinary people just put up a server, you need a permission from the ISP (Internet Service Provider).

So, today we drove to their office since we concidered to be best to go to apply the permission face to face. After describing a bit of what we want, discussing about the possibilities and technical solutions on the both sides, giving estimations about the traffic load and such the IT-chief of the community agreed to give a permission for our little server since it shouldn`t consume too much resources. That means the first step for moving The Modo Fan Club and Technodrome - Home of the de Megazones to our own server, which would release both sites from the problem that their current location servers aren`t accepting works with more mature tastes. It also means the sites won`t be lost because if I don`t update them at least once in a month or so. Of course it`ll bring to the thought also getting real domain names which wouldn`t first show adds before entering the site(s).

The next stage will be the installation of the needed programs and making the right settings for the server programs. After that and partly simultaneously I probably will do some coding for both websites, but at least right now it seems like The Modo Fan Club would be the first to move on the new server, mainly because it`s more desperately in need of that.

Mood: Ragefull!

And if there`s not reading "Rexanthony: 'Boxing Columbia'" in the "Now Playing" -line - I`m gonna sue each and everyone who`s been part of creating the Angelfire`s Blog Builder!

I have lost 2 postings within the last 48 hours because the Builder doesn`t save all the postings like it`s supposed to. (And I hit that "Post" button! It`s surrounded with red borders in the builder and I hit inside the borders, on the button where reads post!") And other thing is that for some reason the builder always drops that band and song name which SHOULD now alone appear on the "Now Playing" -line. It only wants to show: Co.Ro: "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" from a CD "Techno & Dance 6" (P) 1994 K-tel International (Finland) Oy. Odd thing is that it drops the second ban and the song from the middle of the "Now Playing" -line, not a thing from the end like it would happen with over long lines. My annoyment is also increased by that fact that the both postings I lost were rather long widely handled AND Biker Mice from Mars -related.

Mood: Feeling odd, confused and having a bad taste in her mouth

I got the 6th HP-book (The Half-Blood Prince) out of the local library about half a week after it had been published as the first to borrow it and finished it in 3 evenings. (I`m a slow reader, especially when readyng something not in my native language.) I must say I got a not so niceafter taste in my mout from that book. Perhaps I might be wrong, but at least I find it to be the same kind of let-down as the 3rd book was (..And especially its filmatization with the kids jumping around in the school in top fashion clothes when they`re supposed to wear their "uniforms"!)

If you haven`t read the book yet and don`t want the surprise get ruined, please stop now. I`m going to bark the story now. And obviously that will lead to that I must reveal some things from the book.

First of all, I found the Snape-twist somewhat unbelievable. After the 5th book`s "explanations" for Snape`s behaviour ("protecting" Harry) seemed like if forgotten/ignored or even washed away and replaced with the evil twists. Feels like last minute change when you change the right test answer to a wrong one, believing/fearing that you`ve mistaken on the first time. I can`t help feeling that the editors & publishers have been demanding certain major changes to ensure the maximum sales (That nuance was already seeable in 5th book.) although the author publisher & hardest fans probably denies everything and prepares to shoot and sue me for spreading such lies. (For those people, check the Blue Ribbon on the bottom of the page - I support free speech! An I have constitution law based right to say my opinions about things I want to talk. No offence meant.)

Another thing thing that leaves abad taste in my mouth about the book was the death of Dumbledore. Unnecessary! Pointless! The only meaning I can figure out was to release Harry to run after Voldemort and get himself killed. J.K. Rowling says she`s already written the last chapter which shall end the whole 7 book long Harry Potter -serie. I don`t know now yet what it is about but the odds are against Harry. Actually I expect him to die, even somewhat wish for that. Life sucks you know, and it certainly ain`t fair. But how a schoolboy can time after time beat a widely experienced and skilled wizard who`s gotten more experience and certainly has no sence of mercy, nor he doesn`t hesitate even to kill somebody. Surely Harry`s death would be just 1 death among all those he`s done, perhaps the grand final of his "career". Makes me kinda wish I would start to read Lady Foxfire`s HP tortures. "Harry Potter vs Voldemort" by Thanoodles shall speak for my feeligh pretty much.

Good thing I decided not to buy the book. Would be just waste of my .

Join the Blue Ribbon Online Free Speech Campaign!

Mood:  celebratory

Please, change your bookmarks to point to www.modoclub.tk if they aren't yet. This internet address will directly take you to the new location of The Modo Fan Club. Homestead will bite dust, their awful wysiwyg editor writes too much of unnecessary code and they are negative towards FTP and the idea that you code yer pages with bare hands or by using different programs than their "award winning" editor. From Orgfree (www.orgfree.com) I could find finally a server which allows me to post also more adult tasted materials too and link to them too. (And that`s what most of the servers don`t accept.) I`ve been happy with their service this far but it requires that you can build your own pages without their help. Sure they offer some sort of WYSIWYG editor and HTML-notepad but the best solution is code it yourself and upload it then to their server with FTP. Fits me fine. Modo related fanworks can be sent to me to the address: modomasterREMOVE@CAPITALSjotti.org!

Pyry Comes

Mood: Delighted

27th of February, 2005 - just a few days after Pipsa`s death me and Vinnie II go to look for a new bunny. At 1 store we spotted an announcement where someone was wanting to sell their bunny because of the allergy that had appeared in the family. We drive to that place and find a vivid white furred boy bunny with brown spots and beautiful blue eyes. his name was pyry and after a little discussion, Pyry was lifted into a box we had with us and we started to drive back home. Everybody at my and Vinnie II`s place were then wondering his vividity and curiosity. He was quickly leaping out of the box and we had brought Raisa to get to meet him but we had to start protect her from the h###y male. Poor Raisa withrew to the deepest corner under my stairs to get to safe from him. She had spent the past few days looking miserable and clearly missing her sister.

After a few days my mom came to see the new bunny (she had been angry with me for that I had went to buy a new bunny.) and we tried a new meeting between Raisa and Pyry, now when they had had a chance to get used to each other in the separate cages right next to each other. Raisa was again withdrawing to a corner but not so bad as on the previous time. Pyry instead was facinated by the appereance of approximately same aged female bunny and was immediately wanting to make cubs with her. we had to go between and protect Raisa from over excited Pyry.

Along with the appereance of Pyry, Raisa has now started to get to forget her sister and started to get interested in about this whitefurred newcomer, who looks at times like a little kitten when he gives a certain facial appereances. ^^
Raisa has started to go crazy recently and the sounds they both are giving is telling loud and clear that they boths seem to have "spring in their chest" as to express it nicely. In other words we may expect some countryside/dwarf -mix up bunny cubs later on this spring.

Memorising Pipsa

Mood:  blue

On 24th of February I had to make one of the toughest decisions. On the switch of July and August I had brought home 2 cute little bunnies, but while I had been in the Netherlands for the x-mas & new year holiday, Pipsa`s teeth started to grow wrong. My parents had been taking care of them but as far as it has cleared out to me, they probably hadn`t offered enough of hard things to bite. Raisa, the black withwhite collar stripe is the one who likes to chew hard bread, while Pipsa the black with just tiny white little ankle socks, preferred soft things like the carrot slices or apple covers. That resulted to that when I had come home, she was skinnier. I kept following her but she got just skinnier and weaker, while Raisa seemed to be at her best condition. Then I came to look into her mouth and found horrendously long teeth! My parents were on that week on a holiday and it was late in the evening when I call to them and cry to them about how`s it with Pipsa. Mom tells me to wait till they're back (almost a week till that) and then perhaps to go to the vet. I was weighting the possibilities for two days and then I got a time to the vet. Mom was furious (and so was dad too) when I had disobeyed them, but an ordinary countryside bunny that is already over half a year older and weights barely 1kg is way too small! The vet said I did right and that Pipsa wouldn`t have made it till my parents`return. It was just awfull to watch her when she was waking up from the anesthetics. (And try to guard her from hitting herself to anything when her feet betrayed and she fell on the ground or against a cupboard. This happened on 27th of January.

As said earlier, on 24th of February I had to make 1 of the toughest decisions in my life. I always get very much emotionally attached to my pets, but Pipsa was in front of the same problem again. she had started slightly to loose weight and this time the vet of mine guided me to a pet hospital in a bigger city nearby. There I had taken Raisa also with me (and Vinnie II) when taking Pipsa to the specialized vet. We measured both of the bunnies, Raisa weighting 2,40kg and Pipsa 2,25kg. The vet there put me to decide either cut Pipsa`s teeth again and the same after a month again (they said she would be helpless case anyway) or to give the lethal injection. After crying (and I mean I cried aloud there for a long time) I came to the decision that it`s better in that case to give the injection rather than letting her to suffer once in a month a nasty tooth cutting operation. The vet there was very kind and understanding, I could hold Pipsa when she fell in sleep and then after quite some time I put her on the operating table and the vet gave the shot that ended her heartbeats and breathing. She died immediately.

After crying a lot I still had to drive back home. And there was still 1 very important paper to be taken somewhere. I went to take it into that place and Vinnie II stayed in the car. I was very pissed off when I heard just a few minutes after that people had been staring the box where Pipsa was lying on the front seat so that Vinnie II had had to cover her with a blanket.

In the evening when my dad had come home we buried Pipsa next to Tupuna and Pupuliina and had a little memorial service for her. We all love you and miss you, Pipsa!